Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Little People, Big World: New Episode July 19, 2016

Here are reviews of the new episode of Little People, Big World which aired on July 19, 2016 on TLC.


Review Written By Rap541

So bonus scenes from last week…. So I think the extended flipping sequence is new? Or maybe I just didn’t care about the stupid danger? OMG did you know it was two years since Auj was married and that’s ALL SHE EVER ACCOMPLISHED? Bless her heart! 

 Also really? Matt and Camerino tore up the entire field because Jeremy tipped the dangermobile? Is Jeremy babbling about the track new?

Oh the bonus footage is Jer and Auj having coffee with “Ellen” and “Of Ellen”. It’s really boring except where Ellen mocks Romani dress styles…. Apparently Jer and Auj made mistakes? That they never outline? Its dull. 

But Jazz has met a boy so there’s that…. God Bless the Christian programmers who bring us Jazz the transgender girl dating a boy :D

Another bonus scene is Molly? Returning home and is studying for her CPA exam and also works… is Molly a Roloff? Molly and Amy pick out dresses and Amy wants to dress Molly up. Molly is all “I just wear clothes!” But it’s kind of fun watching Amy and Molly get sassy in shopping.

We start with Zach wandering in to the big house. Tory is gonna be 25 and that’s a HUGE deal in a family that has to televise events. And look, Zach is planning an on camera surprise party. And of course the party will be on the farm because that’s easier for filming. Amy notes how Zach needs a good gift beyond the party. She has a point. I am not very girly but there’s certain things you expect.

Meanwhile….. The pirate ship has rotted from abandonment. And it’s being torn down. I am genuinely surprised we don’t have Jer there sobbing “NO DADDY NO!” like he does over everything. Instead we have skyping between Jer and Auj and Zach over the party.

So Jer and Zach are called out to the farm to tear down the pirate ship. There is some sadness and Matt tells them to pee off the bow one last time and then there’s the track hoe smashing shit.  Zach thinks they need a family celebration.

Now Matt is all about his neck pain. Amy is picking flowers and Matt notes her tat. And her hair. Matt is all “Change is good”. And also “I’m getting a cortisone shot and might be paralyzed” and “I’m not built for all the things I choose to do…!” and Amy wants to support but also is like “but we’re divorcing”.

Zach says Molly and Tory are besties and he wants Molly in on the surprise. But Molly has to hide!

Matt leaves for Los Angeles and we get the montage of Matt being in the hospital as a kid because we can’t not know how Matt is always suffering. Also somehow watching the pirate ship being torn down caused Matt physical pain. Matt says he doesn’t want the kids to worry as he prats on tv how he’s deteriorating and might be paralyzed.

Matt asks questions about the procedure. There’s a weird bulge but I get why he’s worried. I also sorta wonder if it’s so serious, why Jeremy James isn’t volunteering to be at Matt’s side. I mean, it’s not like he’s working. Also Matt needs surgery (which he’s had since).

Also… apparently poor Camerino is soon to be deported. Matt posted about it and surprisingly the major opinion is “If your manservant is an illegal alien, Matt Roloff, then he needs to trot his ass back to wherever he came, in Jesus’s name we pray!”

Matt tells Amy that he needs a neck fusion. Amy seems concerned. Jer and Zach show up to the farm so Matt can tell them dramatically about the neck surgery. Jer notes how it’s an interesting time for the farm! Jeremy heads off to tell Auj the news. No one including Jer and Auj seem to know how Matt will be cared for. Of course Jer thinks they should be on the farm, rallying for dad and of course THE FARM.

Zach rides the mower and Jeremy chides him for his mowing even tho Zach was just being helpful. Jeremy plans to make extra trips, not stand up like a man and offer to shoulder the burden as the chosen son but ok. Jeremy butchers paralysis.

Back to the dumb party that clearly no one really cares about. Tory is on her way and everyone is hiding shit. Tory gets to the house to “run Sully”. Then Jer and Auj come up with “isn’t it your birthday!” and Zach is all “Jeremy can be an airhead”.

Molly is sneaked in. Sully needs real training. This isn’t terribly interesting since it’s so forced.

So Tory is at lunch and everyone is bringing stuff and doing stuff. I kinda think Tory knows but that’s just me. Molly and Tory are very close. Then Molly gets told the pirate ship is gone. Matt leaves the party “because of his neck”. Zach takes Tory out on the mule to give her stuff. There’s jewelry. Then they do champagne. Its sweet.

However it was also pretty contrived and disjointed.

Next week! Molly seals her escape plan.


Review written by Podge/Rodge groupie

Review of Expect the unexpected, July 19

OK, we'll follow each storyline to make things easier for everybody.

Zach wants to throw a surprise party for Tori. He thinks that the party itself should serve just fine as a/the gift. Enabler Amy clues him in. Yet, Zach is impressed with himself about the idea of the party, and how he's such a good husband. Zach thinks he's an incurable romantic. Uh, Zach, penicillin was invented years ago, buddy. He Skpye's Auj and ofAuj. OfAuj's hair looks especially terrible today. Auj has strange tastes in dictating her hubby hairstyle. All proceeds along yadda yadda yadda until the day of, and Airhead Jer (AJ) shouts at Tori, 'Happy Birthday! It's today, isn't it?” But, instead of saying “D'oh!!” he tries yo explain away his obvious mistake (and yes it was a mistake) by saying, “I thought well, if I strategically mention Happy Birthday, then of course we aren't planning anything.” WHAT? Remember when Jer did not apologize for his racial slurs? Remember when Jer did not openly apologize for screwing up the photo printing before their big launch of whatever their website's called? Please, Jer, please take some responsibility. Please. Or at the very least, just stop thinking. And Tori was very impressed with her husband. The End.

The pirate ship is looking pretty ratty. Matt, after much waxing sort-of eloquent about the history and blah blah blah, he calls the twins over to watch him tear up the ship. Of course, the twins, who are still both horrible at acting, after all these years, try the “Whoa! Not so fast. Let's think about this.” There wasn't too much thinking, so after a very short period of time, Matt starts the destruction of the ship. The End.

Matt needs a Cortisone shot and has to make a final decision about surgery. Finally, some LP content on a series about LP's. Matt and Amy discuss things in a totally set up scene. You can't tell me Matt has not notice the hair and tatty before now, It's not like it's 12 hours after the girls' night out. Matt then goes on and on about his childhood and the surgeries and Matt is STILL BITTER. Give it up, Matt. For your own good, and the good of the people who listen to you. Matt and Amy discuss recovery a little bit early, as Matt doesn't go for the final pre-op consultation until the next episode. But hey, with the other two storylines, we have to find something to fill the hour.

Matt calls an office meeting with the twins. Dad need surgery. Jer thinks that's intense. Ooooohhh...Jer's being a real pistol this episode. Matt tells them they're looking for an opening within the next 6 months. Jer says he'd bee looking for an opening ASAP. Uh, Jer, they ARE looking for n opening ASAP, sometimes it will take up to six months to find one. Real pistol there, Jer. There's more conversation with Zach and some haybaling. The punchline of the episode - “It's an interesting time for everybody. I guess I'll be making a couple ,more trips to the farm, to prove that we're 'all-in'. So AJ, how many trips to the farm are you making now, and how can you possibly squeeze in MORE trips to the farm? Really.

Auj and AJ (Airhead Jer) chat. Again, not too sure about a 'neck brace for months' when the final consult has not been done. AJ makes the observation that if the surgeon has a tic or sneezes, this is not a “Oh, my surgery went wrong, I'll just walk differently for the rest of my life” this is a “Oh, my surgery went wrong, now I'm paralyzed.” Admittedly, this is a time that would weigh a little bit heavy on normal people. This is serious. However, Jer says, “Thanks babe (kiss). Let's get food. Do I have lipstick?” Terrible. Yeah, you really grasped the serious nature there, AJ.

WE go outside after Jer finds food (because the disgusting little pig is talking with his mouth full) and Zach is on the...........Land Pride????? What's this? What's this? What happened to the fantastic, fastest bestest of the best Dixie Chopper? Oh dear, here comes the Product Placement Nazi, waving his finger and screaming “No product placement for you!!!” Notice the realistic 'dynamic' here? Zach is trying to make a genuine effort to help on the farm by getting on the lawn mower. And AJ does nothing more than bitch and complain and put down Zach's work (with his mouth full) so it's easy to predict how much actual real work AJ will be contributing to, “With the whole (??) family working, it would ease his Matt's) mind.” You know, with AJ bleating about making extra trips to the farm, and all the pitching in he (claims he) will be doing, and the help he will be giving, although this was never mentioned, this would be the ONE time that Matt could sit there, madly waving his crutches and yelling. 'We could lose the farm!”

I still maintain the injection and future surgery was overdramatized, but only a bit. A friend of mine flew over the handlebars of a motorcycle he was test riding, and outright fractured C4 and C5, fourth and fifth cervical vertebrae. He was 16 at the time, became a quadriplegic and has been confined ever since. The problems are indeed real, and the complications just as real. These are problems real LP's have. If Matt could have toned down the dramatics just a bit, and ended his bitterness over his childhood, this is the right storyline for this show. Without wishing anything bad on Matt. Except Jeremy coming to save the day. The End.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Little People, Big World, New Episode Tuesday July 12th on TLC

Here are reviews/recaps of the new episode of Little People, Big World that aired on TLC Tuesday July 12, 2016.

Review Written By Rap541

I continue to find Matt’s protests on how he doesn’t deserve to live in the double wide hilarious. On a rewatch, I see he is all “I want to make this more comfortable for my friends”… Ok, bitch please. Seriously now, who here has ever refused to visit a friend over whether or not the floors in the house were hard wood or laminate? I mean, really.

I also sort of love how Tory is all “How *long* will it take to fix the gate if your dad and Jeremy are involved?”Bonus footage! Amy hangs out with her dog and ponders her tattoo plans. Seriously, that was all.

Matt made a point of being annoyed by Amy’s tat. My thought is “Matt, you don’t have to look at it” In a bonus scene, Tory totally mocks how slow the gate work is happening and how the plywood is unattractive at best. Also Jeremy’s hair is awful. To be fair, this is a matter of personal taste. I’m not fond of the scruffy unshaven look either, and the man bun look really isn’t my taste. If this is Audrey’s taste and her insistence, I wonder if she’s worried about girls finding him attractive, because this isn’t a great look.

Apparently Amy is out to date. Amy wanders into the Roloff office in a black leather jacket. Or maybe it’s faux leather? Matt wants to buy a new atv thing and Amy questions whether that’s actually necessary. It’s a one seater vehicle and oh hey Matt may have already bought. Amy is annoyed but good humored since I assume its actually a trade out, as it’s clearly not a necessary purchase in any way. This is a “oh hey, we don’t want to show anything real” storyline. The new ATV is cool looking in a militant “I’m more sporty than useful” way. Amy decides to drive it and it’s basically a road warrior sort of thing. Amy loves it and lays claim to it. Oh but look, now we’re building a track and having a competition over who gets the new vehicle. Matt needs something to do for the episode and really he’s rather superfluous without this storyline. Matt of course needs Jeremy to come on down. Matt continues to insist that the atv is a farm vehicle. I really want to see some vaguely farming activity attempted with this atv. Because its NOT a working atv.

Amy has her  friends over for fancy snacks and wine. Amy is all “this is always all girls and I need cock” and her friend Deb is like “Let’s go look for cock! And pokemon!” More seriously she suggests online dating which frankly is a good thing – a close wonderful, Christian friend of mine met her beloved husband thru online dating and they were a genuine love match

So Jer and Auj have the cat loose in the car because that’s cute and not safe. Point – there’s a reason most of us don’t have cats lose in our cars and it’s similar to the reason you shouldn’t text and drive, it’s a distraction. There’s nothing wrong with bringing a pet on a trip but pet carriers exist for a reason. Auj is helping Ellen plan a wedding and is now styling herself a wedding planner. 

Jeremy makes a show of pretending how he’s never seen or heard of the tat before. It’s pretty fake.

Jeremy continues to moan holy smokes. Auj is like wearing a sweatshirt as a dress and it’s very very short. It’s so short if Tory was wearing it, people would be calling her a whore… but since Auj was wearing it, I assume its church appropriate.

Hey here’s a thought. Why are Auj and OfAuj living in Bend and attending a “home church” when they could be living in Hillsboro where OfAuj could present himself every day to Daddy Matt to “learn about the farm” and driving with the kitty loose in the car? My goodness, these two precious Christians could be sitting in the front row of John Mark Comer’s church every week. Heck, they’d have more time to be at Matt’s beck and call and more time for their friends weddings too!

Auj heads off to wedding plan because she’s building a wedding planning business, along with the marital blog and the barre3 instructing and also this Ellen wants her to plan the wedding and be the maid of honor. Which technically isn’t right as Auj is married and is now a matron of honor but really it’s all silly. It also feels a bit fake.

Amy meanwhile sorta has a date with a whole bunch of firemen? And is going to do her hair? Molly is coming home?

Matt and Jeremy are “building a track” for the time trials because this isn’t ridiculous and forced. The tiny atv is driven by Jer and he promptly tips it over. AND COMMERCIAL.

I really just have to interject that I miss how Craw Craw no longer comes to this website because I would adore pointing out how her insistence that Jeremy was too good a driver to have an accident was, as I stated years ago, pretty stupid.

Jeremy notes “Yup I flipped it”. Basically, he was driving too fast on mud.

Auj is now the wedding expert and is picking out stuff and I die of boredom since really, I am not a wedding person.

Matt meanwhile has been building a track for *Jeremy* as Matt is totally concerned about Jeremy’s safety. They drive the much heavier larger ATV thing over it. Jeremy notes how worried he is about Matt’s neck. You all remember how Matt was telling the family in 2010 that he needed surgery in six months and was risking being paralyzed? I sense we’re in for a whine fest.

Auj is dress shopping with Ellen because no one in the family really wants to be on the show or display their actual lives. I mean, even you Auj lovers, do you really care about Auj’s never before mentioned friend Ellen getting married? I mean, Jeremy’s wife’s friend who has never been on the show before or ever mentioned?

Oh a commercial for Star Trek Beyond. Unity in diversity, infinite diversity in infinite combinations.

So Matt has pissed away money and time making a track for a one time race and everyone has to drive slow since it’s dangerous and tippy at fast speeds. Everyone including Amy notes how his neck is bad. Everyone insists and Matt insists on risking his life and I don’t like pointing out how this seemed faked for the camera but it does seem pretty fake. Now Matt quits, conceding he isn’t willing to take the risk and everyone else races. Jeremy notes how he likes racing Zach because it’s so fair, and Zach is ahead and wins? Yup, and Jer wanders off with little comment other than how that he manfully wrecked up previously might have stayed his hand.

Molly wanders in to mention how she graduates soon and is studying for her CPA exam. She’s clever, that’s a tough exam. Molly is pro-Amy dating. Amy shows her tat off. Molly is all “Mom got a huge tat!”

More Auj planning the wedding for Ellen. I like that Auj is happy about marriage but honestly it becomes a little one note. Especially when Jer and Ellen’s boyfriend are exchanging info on marriage on camera and no one cares because no one knows Ellen and Nolan?

Amy is getting her hair done at a fancy salon. AND COMMERCIAL

I check other boards and yes, people are expressing their displeasure at how the show seems to be about a wedding that no one cares about.

Amy’s hair is nice.

Molly is graduating soon and is chatting with Tory and Amy wanders in with her new sassy self. Molly seems very supportive. Amy is off to her night on the town. Pal Lisa is all “You look awesome, find a new man!” and she chats up the band. Lisa announces how this is her first night out. She digs Dan, the bald guy. Lisa basically offers to double date. . It’s kind of nice to see her be happy.

Next week we have a birthday party for Tory and of course endless “I might be crippled” drama from Matt.


Written By Podge/Rodge groupie


Throughout this entire episode, I was waiting for the late Graham Chapman to come marching out in his uniform, baton in one hand, the other waving and saying, 'Alright, that's enough! No more of this now. You are being silly. This has to stop right now. It has become far too silly!” Unfortunately, any sketch from his former band of silly men that he walked into were much, much better than what we saw in this episode.

Cold opening in Matt's office. This act has become silly. It's clear that Amy knew all along, agreed before, and this is all a tired act that these two want to perpetuate for reasons that I personally cannot fathom. Matt's just can't get away from his childish writing “Matt, check, Amy, check, motion passes.” And if that ins't infantile enough, Matt still insists that getting his new toy will bring Zach and Jer to the farm more often to hang with their old man. They. Are. Married. They. Have. Their. Own. Lives. You. Silly. Twit. I am going to go out an limb and guess that Matt is really, actually that self-centered and possessive that he could not care less about his sons lives, as long as they give glory to him. Because if this is acting, Matt has again no recognition of what a complete jerk he is portraying to the viewing public. Of course, Spoiled Jer is going to think the same thing as Matt.

Amy is spewing about herself. Again. She's going to start stepping out. Auj and Spoiled ofAuj show up at the farm. Again. Jeremy's acting is a bad as his dad's. Plus, Jeremy is so stupid he can't grasp the intent of the tattoo. Not silly, stupid. There's useless show filler because of lack of real things happening, like Amy having friend's over, getting her hair done (product placement) and showing Tori And Molly. Did anyone catch Molly's look after she took the photo of her mom? Sort of “How much of this is for the show, mom?” and “Boy, the lengths my mom will go for the show.” and “I can't believe any of this” look. Great. Amy goes out and socializes. I'm really really tired of her talking about herself, and the divorce and her second act. She does like to talk about herself. Well, enough of Amy.

Audrey helps her friend with her wedding plans. Complete lack of storyline or real events happening with the Roloff family.

Matt and Spoiled Jer make up a track. Jer tips the ATV. HEY did anyone else notice that, when this was shown as a clip during commercials, that there was screaming in the background when Jer tipped the ATV? Guess what? There was nobody there! And as far as I'm concerned the ATV tip was comedy at its best. Why did the film crew keep filming, instead of helping Spoiled jer? And we saw how daddy Matt first made sure he got his face entered in the shot of his gopro mounted on his mule, then drives down and SITS in his mule, asking Jer is he's alright? Way to go, dad.

A Day at The Races (I don'r care how many Marx brothers I upset, this was just as silly) is here. Matt was at his best, 'I'm awesome, I can do this, even with my screwed up neck' self. And don't forget 'I'm such a victim, but I'll be awesome anyway' or however you'd like to put it. Matt, there are better, more sincere, more serious ways to educate the viewers about your disability without the syrupy make-it-all-about-you blathering on and on. I'm not sure if the bantering between Spoiled Jer and daddy Matt about Matt's driving the course was to be the fake drama of this week's episode, because the ATV turnover didn't make the grade there. I'm wondering as Matt and Spoiled Jer made the track, how much time they got to practice, thus leaving Amy, Zach, Tori et al with NO laps to practice on the track while the other two did? Typical Roloff fairness. They race. They all lived happily ever after. Thank goodness, the end.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Jacob Roloff Social Media Discussion

So out of popular demand because people are interested in talking about the social media activity of Jacob Roloff and his girlfriend, Isabel.

Jacob currently lives with his girlfriend Isabel, in Arcata, California.

This item is the place to discuss your opinion on their social media activity rather than in the episode reviews:

Jacob Roloff Twitter

Jacob Roloff Instagram

Isabel's twitter

Isabel's Instagram

On July 6, 2016, Jacob posted an Instagram picture with a caption explaining why he is not on the show anymore and rather scathing and blunt analysis of the show. He vows to never be on TV again.


I get comments on here all the time about how people 'miss me on the show' or telling me I should 'do a few more episodes' with the family; I'm posting this to say that that will never happen. For the sake of 'the episode' and ratings I've seen a lot of STORYLINES drawn up (loosely) about our lives, and when I was standing here, behind the scenes and watching it from an outside perspective I just couldn't stop laughing. Laughing at how hard the producers have to try to get us to follow the talking points, and at how ridiculous the talking points are.
To misquote Chomsky, "the primary objective of any system is to preserve the integrity of that system", meaning, the primary objective I have felt and observed over the years of the 'crew' is to preserve their job and preserve the ratings, which is up to you to be right or wrong. That's not to say they are all soulless corporate shills or something, there are and have been good people involved but that doesn't negate the fact that they do have their own personal agenda. For me, noticing how the agenda of the crew doesn't work well with the health & happiness of our family is what made me decide quite a while ago that I would not be a part of it as soon as I was able.
All in all I appreciate people wanting me to 'be with the family' for a few more episodes, but the family that is filmed is not my family. They are the Roloff Characters and I have scarcely anything in common with them, nor do I want to be a character myself. As soon as the cameras drop however, its almost like they never played the part. 20 minutes after this picture was taken we all, plus friends, had a campfire late into the night. So, I am with my family and I love them I'm just here to say you'll never see that from me on TV again.
(This picture is from a few months ago)

Here are some of the notable comments:

  • mollyjoroloff🏻 well said. I know I've taken a different approach than you but man, I can respect this

  • It's generating a lot of fan comments. As is usually the case, the only comments Jacob responds to is the negative ones (the majority of the fan comments are praising Jacob for being wise).  Although Jacob deletes negative comments and bans posters for commenting things he doesn't like, here's a few:

  • sarasota1971 @beaglemom33
  • I agree with you so much take your face off the opening credits and he will miss the money. He seems like a spoiled brat Always acted like one ever since it started

  • Beaglemom33 @sarasota1971 thanks!! It's his right to not appear but to jeopardize his family for a stupid comment on social media is just selfish.

  •  Jacobroloff45 @Beaglemom33 @sarasota1971
  • there is no money to be missed. I haven't and still don't get 'royalty checks' from a simple 20 second intro. And your phantom idea of jeopardization is just that, phantom. You don't need to comment here anymore; who knows, maybe there is a blog out there made for just that sort of speculation and assuredness.

  • izzygarretonI'm so proud of the change I've seen in you. You started out with so much anger, and now you have nothing but love in you. I feel blessed to be a part of this beautiful family and a part of your life. You have showed me so much. TV is fake but the people on it are definitely not, they all have their own stories and lives that are so much more important than the TV version. ❤️

  • izzygarretonBefore you write a comment, out yourself in a 6 year old's shoes who had no choice in the matter. Not everyone responds well to fame - Kylie Jenner has openly said she HATES the fame. She also had no choice in the matter. Jacob has turned into an amazing man, your opinion on THAT fact alone just has no place here.

  • Tablefor05 So does your family enjoy portraying people that they are not for the sake of a paycheck? Glad you know what you want.

  • MrsMartell12_02
  • Like how do you tavel and afford a no job? Do you work or is it t.v. money? In which case would be highly hypocritical and if you hate it all which i get i could never be on t.v..then why a couple months ago were you fighting for money? Why not just let it go and move in from what you dislike so much instead of accepting fake money..u know? @jacobroloff45

  • Anabana89
  • Yea but he enjoyed all those family vacations paid by TV $$ & now living in CA with his GF on TV $$ your funny
  • txmom2011 Bet you still use that tv money though. Stop throwing your family under the bus. What ya gonna do when the well runs dry. Pompous ass

  • MrsMartell12_02
  • I too feel like he really loved and supported his family he wouldn't be throwing them under the bus like does it make them feel?

  • ashleykashmir
  • I debated whether or not to comment. I get filming may not be your cup of tea (for whatever reason; money discrepancies, being 'fake' or scripted, any reason really).. But to publicly post something like this and put your family's paycheck on the line shows some true character. If people think the show is fake or scripted, don't you think people would stop watching? You want everyone to think you're the good guy just trying to stay wholesome.. And live the 'real roloff life'. When I think in reality, you're just bitter that you bailed and aren't getting the same paycheck everyone else is. Young and dumb, I'm sure money got in the way when it came to getting paid when you turned 18 and since it didn't turn out how you wanted, you through a fit and decided not to film again. I sure do hope you're as close with your family as you say because everyone deserves that. But what people don't deserve is you trying to ruin a good thing for them.

  • Jacobroloff45
  • @ashleykashmir shoulda decided not to comment .. You can 'think' all you want about my life but you'll never truly know unless it comes from my mouth. The world puts people in a mind of distrust, I get it, but you can hypothesize in private. Salaam

Little People, Big World New Episode Reviews" Tuesday July 5th, 2016

Here are reviews of the new episode of Little People, Big World which aired on TLC on Tuesday July 5th, 2016.


Review Written by Rap541

So my only real take away from the bonus footage in the prior episode is that Matt is clearly looking for property in Hawaii. I won’t go all House Hunters on you but it’s really expensive property. There’s a second house that is more dwarf orientated. Matt ponders whether he can have the Hawaii life with or without selling the farm. A guess? For the property we saw? He’ll need to sell. Also in the bonus footage there’s some open drooling over the property there.

New ep! We start at Matt’s trailer. Matt whines more about how he’s trailer trash. He asks Amy’s permission to change the flooring. He wants a wood floor. Amy basically asks how much it will cost and Matt insists it will cost less than the kitchen redo Amy just did.

Audrey just wanders in even tho she lives three hours away. Amy is in her bathrobe telling Auj how she is gonna get tatted up. Auj seems pleasantly horrified. Amy loves the idea and she’s so having a midlife crisis. Auj presses for a tat that’s something like “Always more”. Seriously, considering the three hour drive, I find myself wondering who is supposed to be fooled here.

Matt continues to state how he’s too awesome to live like trailer trash, and he’s “putting lipstick on a pig” in trying to renovate the disgusting shithole that is his beloved doublewide. Zach meanwhile is oddly obsessed with replacing his gate because Sully might escape.

Honestly really? Our issue today is the gate? And Amy’s tat? Tory and Zach clearly only allow filming in the front room and the kitchen. Tory notes that Zach isn’t the greatest in home repair and Zach notes that this is an awesome story for the camera! Zach is calling Matt and Jer! What a lil sell out!  Funny how Jer and Auj are always available to drive three hours for things like… gate repair.

Meanwhile at Matt’s bachelor pad, he has a designer and hardwood floors and a party after the new paint he wants! He fairly openly flirts with his designer. They may paint the cabinets red?

Back at Zach’s place, Matt is demanding Jeremy show up. Jeremy shows up in his restored BMW. OMG really? Is fixing a gate this hard? My MOM did this at our house, and she’s 74! Zach notes that if he doesn’t ride Matt and Jeremy, this will never get done. Zach, between you and me, I think you’re getting a trade out.
Interesting that no one at all seems concerned that Jeremy, a working MAN with a wife, apparently has no job to be concerned with. I can guess why Jeremy hasn’t manfully offered to *pay* for the farm he wants so much.

Back on the farm, Amy is plotting her tattoo and calls someone to chat up her feelings on tattoos. Amy is all “I am so dangerous! Thinking of a tat!”

Jeremy tells Zach how the project over the gate has totally escalated and I roll my eyes because… it’s a gate. I mean…. It’s just a gate. It’s clearly good that Jeremy hasn’t had any ambition to do anything with his life if he thinks “fixing a gate” is a major crisis. I’d hate to think what the world would be like if Jeremy held any position of responsibility since “fixing a gate” is a crisis to him. Gosh, can you imagine if Jeremy had to deal with anything that wasn’t minor? Like a sick disabled child, for example?  I am so glad these kids haven’t gotten pregnant. I also note that Jeremy lives in Bend and is out on the farm in Hillsboro screwing around with the ever so important gate…. Shouldn’t Jeremy be doing weddings? Or at least insisting that the gate work is about learning about the farm?

Zach is kind of appalled about Amy’s tat. Matt wanders in during the tat talk. Amy is awkward telling Matt. Amy is clearly having a midlife crisis. Matt is vaguely appalled. Amy is like “oh well” over that. 

Zach and Jeremy take the gate out to the bonfire to masturbate over it and brand it because this isn’t for the cameras at all! Zach notes how there’s new hardwood floors in the double wide and Jeremy is non committal except that he really wants mom and dad to be his mom and dad married forever. Jeremy’s inability to accept the divorce or consider it in any terms other than how it affects him personally is getting sad. The brand stuff would be cute if it wasn’t so pretentious.

Matt is having stuff painted yellow? Or red? Ok.

 Back at Zach and Tory’s, the gate is finally being fixed because this is clearly a several weeks chore. A chore that Jeremy who lives in Bend has days and days to piddle around in Hillsboro over.

Omg there is a 4x4 piece of wood missing and there’s drama! Because no one in driving age with a car can go to home Depot, Matt, Jeremy and Zach are all confounded by this crisis of the gate!  But Bill drops off the precious forgotten piece of wood and the gate is FINALLY fixed. Matt is all “OMG THIS ISN’T ON THE FARM!” and it’s all stupid.

Amy and Lisa head out for some tat bonding. Amy is all “ITS TAT TIME!” I sorta hope she does it because this is such a pretentious tat place. I personally don’t care for tats but I am going to do a henna tattoo  - not permanent – on both arms for dragoncon.

So Amy heads into the tat place. Amy is all “TAT ME UP!” She notes that it hurts. It actually looks good, tho I don’t get the sentiment. But I am not good with tats so… Amy is all “well this wasn’t so bad so,  maybe we’ll get her on a tat spinoff show.

Back at the double wide, Matt is staging a stag party where everyone kisses his ass and drinks. Oddly Zach is questioned about the gate which is a weird thing for people to bring up. This is a sausage fest and Matt moans to friends how hard the divorce is on him. Matt is all “I’m not thrilled to live here” and really, he has a really nice house so the endless bitching how he’s too good to live in such a shithole irks.

Next week! Amy may date but it’s probably a tease and Matt may nearly kill himself but its’ probably a tease. Oh and hey I caught the Jer and Auj interview where they were asked what they were doing and basically non answered with nothing. Bless their hearts!


Review Written By Podge/Rodge groupie

Review of “No Pain, No Gain” airing July 5

We'll start with the B Bonanza in the almost re-run of last week's episode. Pursuant to a point made last week, it is very obvious TLC does too have much in its vault as far as series, specials or anything else for that matter that can fill up the airtime. This is not the only series that TLC does this “re-run with B Roll added” do they must be hurting for any content.

As an example, TLC adds an extra scene showing Special Jer and Amazing Auj.....not knowing which way is up. I'm kidding, they don't know their cardinal points and general direction. Really? And these are college graduates? Good Grief. Bonus #2, Matt goes house hunting (perhaps when Amy is trying to find herself) in Kohala Ranch. A little bit of research shows that estates currently for sale on what I believe are the 3 and 5 acres lots are in the range of $1.725M - $2.175M. The 10 acres lots at the top are appear to be #3.5M and up. Bonus #3, During the helicopter tour, “Hey, look. There's Kohala Ranch. Boy those are nice houses.” What do you know about that? Bonus #4, Amy saying right at the end of the show, “Yeah, it would be nice to rent a place for a couple of weeks or whatever, and then come home. To the farm.” Joni Mitchell sang in “Big Yellow Taxi”, 'Don't it always seem as though, that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone........' keep your head up Amy lol! Also, I'm hoping sincerely that everyone realizes this was a set up with TLC and its Executive Producers (including Matt Roloff and Amy Roloff) to be able to keep the show going. Matt, “I don't know too many divorced couples who can take a family vacations and get along as well as Amy and I did.” Really? Especially when TLC is footing the bill to have at least a trace of content on their network? And Matt never misses an opportunity to do his “Gosh gee, I/We are soooooo awesome!” Who is the more desparate, here? The Roloffs, or TLC? Good Grief

On to this week's fun and frivolity. Matt is angry and openly pouts about the fact that Amy gets to do improvements on the big house and he in the shitty little DW like a third class citizen. Boo Hoo for you, Matt. Who walked out on who? The budget question – does anyone remember if they hosted a storyline on Amy asking Matt about re-painting her cupboards and telling him she'd like to do it and how much it would cost? I sure don't. Matt rides off into the sunset claiming a tremendous victory. Good Grief.

Audrey 'knocks' and makes her entrance. “Jer and I came back from Bend to Hillsboro REALLY often (WHY????) and the farm and my parent's place are homes away from home. Amy and I spend SO much time together.” I like Audrey's quick little glance at the camera when she's laughing and clapping and covering her face with her hands, (am I 'on'? Did you get that guys? Yes dear, you're the center of everyone's world right now.) so Amy describes and draws a tattoo with her name in it. Audrey knows enough to tell her you do not put your own name on your body. You can't say, “D'OH!” after it's done, Amy lol! It's interesting Amazing Auj comes in from one entrance to the kitchen, and leaves from the other, going into a part of the house that does not include the front door. And by the way Auj? Stop stealing coffee cups. Good Grief.

Matt's house. The floor is going in. Zach appears for no reason whatsoever. Matt pouts again that your mom is always (always?) fixing up her house and I'm just trying to keep up. I don't deserve to live out my years in this place. Matt, pick your lip up off the floor and change your diaper. Voiceover - “We've got work to do, people” uh, no, Matt. They have work to do. At his micro-managing best. Still have no idea why Zach was there. He didn't ask for help with the gate until later.

Zach's house. I've no idea why the screen door's open. I might remind the Special Jer idolaters (which is a sin) it appears Zach has no trouble helping with the house chores, like the dishes, and Zach has a part-time job and Special Jer has.....? He likes owing his own home, working on the house, etc. OK Zach, there's not much wrong with the gate. The hardware's fine, it's true the wood could use a clean and re-stain, and yes the 4X4, which is there now but disappears later, is quite loose. It's funny how he plays peek-a-boo with Sully after putting out the garbage, the leaves the gate open (??) when he leads Sully into the house. Tori gets home. Nice wall hanging, “Do what is right, love, mercy, and walk humbly with your god.” Also a cute little poster above the cooker, “All I need is a little bit of coofee and a whole lot of Jesus” we've never seen anything like that in the Golden couple's house. Hmmmmm. It's funny how Zach gets so busted about leaving projects, and yes we do see the interior of the garage later. Zach's speaking the truth on how his dad and Jer have great ideas, super ideas, but then don't follow through with them and finish them, makes it super stressful. Good Grief.

Tammy the Interior Designer shows up at Matt's house. I think it was a big ego trip for her to have her personal lackeys in tow. Drama! Will she get things done in time for the party. This has gotten sooooo old.

Jeremy is late, or just has to make an entrance perhaps, at Zach's house. The garage is a mess. Why is the nice dog house that Matt made for Sully STILL sitting in the garage? It might imply the value placed on it? Getting together to do projects. I wonder if they still use the geo-thermal heating system. The assessment has Zach worried about daddy and Special twin ripping of the gate, then leaving him high and dry. You've said this already, Zach. Move on. Did they do a copy/paste on the Storyline Cheat Sheet? You keep them motivated Zach. Flashback in the crisis center. Special Jer says the projects sometime spin out of control. The trip to the fire pit is just hilarious. You are branding one board, why bring the whole gate? They don't even screw it on the gate until they put the gate up. Good Grief.

Amy phones and starts the whole hum-haw how much-of-this-can-we-stand song and dance about the tattoo. Zach walks in to get some of his soccer stuff from the laundry room. What? Do some work on your justifications, people. Think of a more believable reason for him to be there. Zach is all whatever about the tattoo. Then Matt appears. WHAT???? So what about, “I never go to Matt's house, he never come to my house, so we meet at the office it's more like neutral ground. Well, all that's right out the window now. Staged, staged, staged. Good Grief.

Zach's house. SJ-“Hey, Pop.” M-”You got everything?” SJ-”I hope so.” The is getting soooooo old. Did I write that before? Buddy Bill was close to the farm. And 2 2X6's does not a 4X4 make. And of course they took the time to belabour the point about doing projects off the farm at Zach's house.

The tattoo. Lisa, if Amy calls you for moral support, don't sit there in the SUV and say, “Are you sure you really want to od this?” A wingperson is for support. Such horrible acting. Drag it on and on and on. Good grief. “What, was I drinking when I said I wanted this?” Probably, Amy. Probably. Hey Amy, did you ever think that getting the tattoo on your shoulder would mean that the writing will ALWAYS be covered by a bra or dress strap? And the tan lines therein? It is just the right size to fit in between the straps in the center of your back. Always fully visible. Good Grief.

Matt's party. We're awesome for staying together on the farm for the kids etc. Good Grief.