Monday, October 19, 2009

Guest Roloff Review by Rap541 -- Little People Big World Oct 19

Our next guest episode reviewers is Rap541. All opinions and statements made belong solely to the person making them (Rap541)

Written by Rap541

1st episode

Matt debates his health problems and his bucket list. There’s an implication that Matt has skied before. He brags to the hord of young boys littered about the house about his accomplishments.

Queue new credits…. Did I miss Jer shirtless flexing?

Matt discusses how he skies a lot. In the past. Jeremy has a scratch in his snowboard. He wants a new board. Matt seems to be indulging Jer with a new board. Jeremy hay bales about how Matt shouldn’t ski.

Matt and his doc. He seems to take it seriously describing problems. She gives him a report. Matt has problems in his vertebrae. Disc degeneration. My sis had that. She had surgery. Matt is looking at a similar surgery. Dude, I don’t envy you. I hope you have insurance.

Amy seems unconcerned but she does note that Matt tends to exaggerate his issues. The kids ask about his medical problems. Matt implies its pretty serious… says “paralyzed” to the kids… says he will snow ski, regardless! Because he is a man!. Amy is irritated that he’s considering it. He mentions his bucket list. Amy hay bales about how annoyed she is. Matt says not to worry. Amy is clearly worried. Matt goes to bed. Yeah, um… this was a wee bit awkward for people who are happily married

Sorry, my sympathies lie with Amy here. That’s a serious surgery. My sister, who spent twelve hours on the table so she could MAYBE regain the ability to walk and work without Vicodin, despite the pain, never once considered doing anything other than cuddling her daughter before the surgery. I get Amy’s issue here.

Interesting to note no snow on the ground at the house in the vague house scenes. Gotta be honest… I have friends in Oregon in that area. It does snow. I mean, yeah we‘re all idiots who have no clue that the show is edited, but fyi - I have a pretty good idea that the boys LAST WINTER FORMAL was in maybe January, while the boys LAST HIGH SCHOOL SOCCER game was not AFTER the winter formal but in fact was in November at best. I mean really, duh.

Matt does some funky physical therapy at home… some sort of traction? Amy is irritated and notes she wants a lil man. It seems like teasing abit. Amy hay bales about she has no idea what’s wrong. The traction seems to amuse Matt. We change scene to Skiing planning

Jeremy goes on about how Matt is sickly and hasn’t skied. Matt notes that everyone said don’t do it. So of course he will. Jeremy drives them off to ski. Jeremy hay bales about how nice it is to talk to dad. They talk about how girls are just time wasters who can be replaced and permanent females are just for old goats….. That’s some real respect for the wife, Matt…. Appparently she is just a vagina to plow, an old goat’s right. Nice. Can’t imagine why she isn’t happy after you describe women to your son like that. Swho did you plow, Matt? Before you were a goat and settled on Amy? That was your point to your son right? Plow as many as possible and then settle? Oh I can imagine why Any wasn’t happy with that sound bite for your machismo.

They head to a ski lodge. Matt seems to be in pain getting into the ski boots. He hay bales that it pretty much sucks and is painful. Matt hay bales about risk. As much as I think this act is dumb…. I know my sis had a baby and tried for another despite every medical person on site saying “DON’T” because it would make things worse. And Sis loves the baby. And I love the niece, and brother and mom and dad, and sis’s significant other love the niece. Some things are worth it.

I do note that having a much waited for child is not the same thing as skiing..

Ski chalet. Matt heads off. I have skied enough (and Rap isn’t very good) and Matt is on a beginner slope. No shame in that. Now Jer ski boards with dad. Good fun. Not amazing in that I, super uncoordinated, can ski,. As can sis, as can fat brother, as can paralyzed pal, and pal missing a leg, but seriously. Good for Matt. I really enjoyed his comments on the freedom as well. I have felt it. I am glad he has felt it. I wish a friend of mine, who has a scary version of ms, could feel it because we were chatting about it, and about how difficult it was for him to even join me at a hotel for a convention. I am glad for Matt.

Matt seems whipped on the ride home and is worried if Amy even cares. Jokes about buying new expensive skis. Whines.

Goes on about how he is sore. Jer says he will jog a mile and heads upstairs. Matt hay bales about his slowly declining abilities. Amy hay bales ad seems annoyed about the bucket list. He calls for the dog


2nd episode

Next. Amy wakes various kids up for French toast. She demands all the friends get up. At 11 am…. She is soooo mean! Zach whines about her and the friends do too. Hey, baby boys who need wakey wakey? Show me you boys making your own French toast. Then I might entertain your bitching how you had to crawl out of bed at 11 am.

I don’t like the new credits really. Jeremy bikes shirtless and goes on about how he is in his last year in a monotone. The kids play soccer with the pe teacher. Zach worries about his grades and his height and goes on and on about playing. I relate that in that I played on the varsity team as a back up since I was a girl. Zach goes on about Mike’s chair and how special it is to him. Amy is pleased as well and Zach wants it in a place special. Do note, he seems to sleep on a mattress and springs on the floor. He also seems to sit out a lot due to his grades. He goes on about his coaching. Jeremy hay bales about how it sucks. Amy tells the soccer moms Zach is considering Corbin… and wants the boys to head to college. I sorta wish Amy would consider if Zach had learning disabilities. I don’t say that to be mean. If Amy is sitting Zach down to the table and double checking his homework, I’d worry less, but I don’t see it on camera…. And that makes me think maybe there’s more going on since verbally Zach is more articulate.

The Mcmansion. Zach babbles about soccer. Matt asks about his playing. Zach notes he can’t play due to grades. Jeez. Maybe you should parent? Matt? Amy? Zach is failing?Amy? The boys don’t care if they go to college…. Stop arranging their plans. Jeremy waxes on how he hates books and reading but college is fun party times. Amy nags about how useless their lives are and how she controls all inheritances. Jeremy hay bales about how he has no idea what to do.

Amy forces the boys to see Corbin even though they have no interest. The twins are clearly bored and annoyed that the college is like Faith. The RA goes on about potty bonding. Zach hay bales about how its not real world. The soccer coach interviews them. Amy notes both boys sluffed off school. As does the coach. The coach does seem to brace Zach to be realistic about soccer.

Zach is miffed that Mike D’s chair disappeared. Amy thinks maybe Matt had it thrown out. Insert class time at Faith Bible and Zach taking a test. Zach worries, but the teach shows him his errors and seems really pleased. Insert soccer playing. Btw didn’t they just show winter formal which is well after soccer season.

Amy and Jer plot to return the special thinking chair of mike d’s to Zach as a surprise. Zach is way pleased. Amy is pleased as well. Amy can be a cool mom I must say. She has always reminded me of my mom.

Zach and Jeremy play their last high school game. There is cheering. Matt shows up and asks if it’s the last game the twins will play. Amy worries too much about Zach being bumped. I played. I bumped average height kids who weighed less and who weighed more.. Don’t worry . Zach has some meat on him .I agree with Matt’s hay bale that the drive Zach has could serve him well. Of course it ends.

The kids walk off the field. I miss it. I miss the field, the team, and shout out to my coach Bob Kalweit, who fought and fought for us girls to play soccer with the boys. Jeremy waxes about his last game and so does Zach, and boys? Listen to the girl here. If you want it, you can play. Don’t let anything stop you. And also remember, you may find more that you can love. I loved soccer…. But I went to college and played rugby. And was on Ranger Challenge in ROTC, and raquetball and writing reviews for the college paper. Leaving the high school is an ending, I don’t downplay that…. But I understand now what a commencement of my life it was. I think, when I was in college…. Roaming around the Midwest storm chasing, spending the summer digging up mastadons, and looking at dinosaur bones in the field… I hope college is as amazing for you as it was for me.


Ashley said...

Good review Rap :)

You don't like the new credits?? Not a fan of Jer's bod?

I've wondered about Zach having a learning disability too. He seems smarter than his grades show and he at least pretends like he cares. It doesn't add up that he does that poorly.

Jim W. said...

You're wrong about Matt and Jeremy's talk about girls.

Maybe Matt wasn't PC, but who cares? I hate PCness.

Jeremy was a hundred percent right. He was 18/19. He's an attractive kid with a lot of fun ahead of him. It's a mistake for someone that age to stay in a serious relationship like he did a year earlier. I had no problem with what Jeremy said about girls.

You may not like it, but Jeremy is right. Girls will be around for him. He doesn't want to be tied down with make-shift wife during one of the most fun times in his life.

Rap541 said...

Its not "jer's bod" - its just too short.

I don't discount the possibility that Zach doesn't study... but honesty he seems more concerned about grades and more concerned that stuff isn't clicking. I think he clearly could be studying more - honestly senior year and clearly late senior year, isn't the time to suddenly consider college.

Rap541 said...

AFter all... Jeremy and Matt don'thave to treat women with respect so why should Molly get better treatment than the other "not males"?

You're on board with Molly Roloff being treated a nicely as you think Jer and Matt treat other women right?

Women aren't people... they are just bitches to be servicd by men? I mean, screw love and respect GOD SAYS SCREW VAGINA?

Jim yes or no - want your mom and wife and daughers treated as nothing but a man's object to use and throw away?

Timothy said...

Rap, you have a heart! j/k

Matt also earns my respect for conquering the slopes. I can't imagine what it's like for him to have the body he does. I believe his stories of pain, but he doesn't let that stop or control him.

I felt a little more for Zach than Jeremy about the last soccer game. Except for indoor, that was Zach's last time playing soccer. Jeremy can play if he wants. There are adult leagues.

As one of the people involved in some of the debate about Corban/private Christian education and being sheltered from the world, I was glad to hear Zach's comment. He realizes it too. I give Zach credit for being perceptive.

Jocelynn said...

Rap, I think you hit the nail on the head when the twins visited Corban. They did seem to have a negative impression of it because of the similarities to Faith Bible. They must think of college as party atmosphere instead of more of the same with strict rules.

I was surprised when they arrived, Amy told Jeremy to just be himself and it would be fine. What was that about? Was he nervous? Jeremy??

Char said...

What do you mean by this?

"Queue new credits…. Did I miss Jer shirtless flexing?"

In the new intro? He's not flexing. He's just walking and looks over his shoulder.

Craw said...

I'll just go ahead and say what I thought. I think Zach was pretending to make more of thing out of the Thinking chair. If it was so important to him why did he keep it some storage basement?

Mike was closer to Jeremy. Where's Jeremy chair? If Jeremy had one, I bet it wouldn't have collecting dust in basement.

Rap, you're making a big deal out of nothing again. I'm a girl and I don't care about what Jeremy said. Do you want him to say he plans to marry every girl he sees in high school?

Susan said...

Rap, bravo. Jeremy's remarks about women are becoming annoying. He doesn't talk about women with respect or as though they are his equal.

Jason said...

Did anybody notice that Jeremy was texting while driving AGAIN? It was on the way home.

I remember when he was texting while driving last time on the show. He apologized for it and blamed editing, said it was the one time the whole trip he was texting and that's what they showed.

Right. He did it again. That must have been the one time (again) that he did it.

Joan said...

I hope Matt was joking about what he said regarding women, but it was an offensive conversation.

Jeremy made girls sound like a pair of shoes. Does Matt think women are supposed to be the slave to their man? He was advocating Jeremy to use women while he was young, then get one to take care of him when he's old.

Rap541 said...

Was he texting? I missed it.

Char - I think I saw him flexing in the last episode and I was just sad we didn't get it this week :)

Craw - Perhaps Jeremy doesn't have a chair? Perhaps he doesn't care about the chair? *Perhaps* Jeremy understands that who Mike loved best - whoever that may be - doesn't mean that Zach isn't allowed to have grief or thoughtful remembrances? To your point, where IS Jeremy's chair is he considers it so special and of course MUST have one since its inconcievable for Mike to have not given him a chair.

Jason said...

"Was he texting? I missed it."

It was during the ride home when Matt was talking to Amy on the phone.

Jeremy had it in his right hand. I don't know if he was typing a text, but he was definitely reading it. You can see his eyes look down at it two or three times.

Michael said...

I'm surprised there isn't more talk about Jeremy's comment about college. He wants to go to college because it's fun (to party).

Good to see Jeremy has his priorities straight.

Anonymous said...

Anybody else think the far away shots of Matt skiing was not actually Matt?

How can someone who needs crutches to walk, stop and turn like he did? It would be too much pressure on his legs.

Anonymous said...


Rap541 said...

Oh I think he was skiing. I doubt he did more skiing than the bits we saw filmed, but I think he did it.

I just don't see any reason to lie over it. We've seen Matt sit out on activities plenty of times. I just don't think he spent all day on the slopes, doing the XX lanes.

Jason said...

Anon, you're wrong. It was after the ice cream.

I Tivo'd it. I just saw it again to be sure. He was texting. If you don't believe me watch it on the replay. They repeat them before next weeks show.

If I cared enough, I'd take a screen capture of what I'm looking at right now and would show you, but I don't care that much. lol.

When you see it again, it is exactly when Matt is talking to Amy on the phone. They have the words written on the screen "So I went ahead and invested $3000 in new skis".......look at Jeremy. You can see it in his right hand. He was texting. No doubt about it. You can see his thumb going as he's looking down.

Happy Now?...Anon said...

I must say that this is a fantastic review!
It is really good,and i loved your last paragraph and the little insight you had for both the boys.I know we had are little differences but all in all this was a great review with great comparisons and good for any Roloff fan to read and i liked it.Great Job.:)

KIT said...

As for the snow...One of the great things about the Portland area is that snow generally stays where it belongs--on the mountains! We live in the same general area as the Roloffs. Portland rarely has snow, but from late Nov through May, Timberline has plenty. Portland is more or less at sea level, while Timberline is about 6,000 ft. above. That's one reason why I love living here, as opposed to New England. I can go skiing or snowshoeing for the day without having to shovel snow from my driveway. The shots they showed are completely typical for Portland.

FYI, you can ski YEAR ROUND at Timberline, but after May, you have to take the lift up to the Palmer Glacier. Here's a webcam located just above Timberline Lodge (you can see the lodge roof in the trees), looking south toward Mt. Bachelor .

Brandon said...

Jeremy really rubs me the wrong way in scenes like the one in Amy's office about Corban.

He was the same way when they got their SAT results. He's so smug and thinks he's great.

"I don't want to think about it (college) because I have too many other things to think about."

Like what? His next slur? (haha)

It's just his tone, his body language, he's very smug.

That was almost the closest they've come to admitting they get paid well for the show, when he answered Amy's question about how he will support himself by saying "Money" with a big grin.

Zach on the other hand. "Just send Molly to Stanford and get it over with." Funny and self-depreciating.

Anonymous said...

Corban’s campus is beautiful, so I checked out their web site. They don’t seem to be too strict but have standards. Corban College is ranked #4 in the West in US News. I think the twins would be fortunate to go there and since it is close to home they may still be able to participate in the show. Hopefully they will mature academically and get focused at the community college they are going to. Sometimes students are better academically in college than high school due to new and increased motivation. I think it would contribute to their maturity and development into adulthood. I also don’t think the money from the show will support them for a lifetime. Even if it did, they need a vocation in order to make a positive contribution to society, keep busy and have additional purpose in life. Whatever they do, I hope they make college a priority. Getting a degree and gaining knowledge opens doors and affects the person you turn into.

Thomas said...

You guys are so ridiculous criticizing Jeremy. He's a teenager... of course he's going to have a smug attitude.

Rap541 said...

Thanks Happy Now!

Kit really? I get a lot of reports of snow on theround. Enough that I have always wondered why it always seems like spring or summer, excpt during the pumpkin season episodes.

Kit said...

Really. Rarely snows in Portland. The Roloffs live on what are called the West Hills - a bank of low (~500 ft high) ridges that separate downtown Portland from the western 'burbs. In winter, we who live up on the slopes will get some snow (more likely, ice) when there is only rain on the valley floor, but actual accumulated snow all over the metro area that lasts more than one or two days happens maybe once or twice each winter. Which is fine, since we have hardly any snowplows, and we don't salt our roads. You usually don't run into snow until you get within 10-15 miles of the base of Mt. Hood, which is a good 40-50 miles from the Roloffs.

Anonymous said...

What does "hay bales" (as a verb) mean?

Troy said...

Does anybody actually believe this show is real?

Do you actually believe that the camera randomly followed Zach as he unknowingly stumbled on an old chair Mike built for him? Really, are people this stupid that they didn't think the whole thing was a well planned out plot?

Rap541 said...

Oh "hay bales" is just me being silly and not saying "X sits in the confessional booth". Since there are haybales in the confessional....

Troy - personally I think a great deal of this show is intentionally staged - but really, because this is presented as a reality show, and not a scripted drama, there is some accountability on the part of the producers to present reality and not lies.

Expressed said...

Yeah, I must defend Rap about "hay bales". I know from doing reviews myself, you can only say "Jeremy tells the camera" or "Amy in an interview with the camera says..." so many times before I get tired of writing that.

I might borrow from Rap and use "hay bales" in my next review too :)

David said...

Is it any surprise that Jeremy is arrogant?

Look at the part where they get to Corban. It went something like this.

Amy: "Jer, just be yourself and it will be fine. Because you are awesome.

Jer: Yep, I know.

~~rolls eyes~~

Anonymous said...

Ah! I get it. "Hay bales" describes the content of the talking head segments.

Cool idea. Thanks for your answer.

Anonymous said...

Of course it wasn't Matt skiing. If you look at him on his crutches his legs don't bend, they swing. Anyone who skis know you have to bend your knees.

Simple case of editing to appease Matts ego.

You can fool some of the people some of the time......