The 2nd of our trio of guest reviewers is Rap541. All opinions and statements made belong to the individual making them (Rap541).
Written by Rap541
Woo! New LPBW!
The credits have changed to show off Jeremy’s chest and to be short. Amy hay bales quickly how Matt is an idiot. Matt tells Amy in the Polaris mule how he wants to imitate Europe on the farm. Amy worries about money and wants a budget. Matt feels without a project he’ll die. Really? Really Matt?
Matt has a new office being planned. I think this is in the house. It is honestly hard to tell. They kid about divorce. Amy is surprisingly honest - she has different plans.
Matt hay bales about “Molly‘s” castle. He tells Molly she can claim the castle. She seems pretty bored since jeez, she’s almost old enough to be a teen mom, and probably gave up on playing in a castle when she was ten or so. Matt goes on about investment homes, and Amy is all jerky about buying a new house and improving it. Matt rails about risk and Amy thinks education is better than flipping homes. Amy walks off, and wants her own world.
Honestly, if I wasn’t convinced that LPBW is being set up to assume the “TLC Charmed” spot”, I’d be a little worried.
This is difficult, in all honesty to assess. This is like watching my own folks, when I was 15, discuss their options with money. I want to reach out and slap Matt because I see the mistakes he is wanting to make, but I also understand why my dad made similar mistakes. He was basically wanting to make things better, and now I can respect that, even though it didn’t work in some respects. Still, if Matt is actually paying to put a castle on the property, I wish he’d be honest and note that it will bring in more tourists. It’s pretty obvious from watching that Molly really has no plans to play in the castle. Drink a few beers with pals, maybe, but really, she’s a little old to want a play set.
Matt goes on about how he’s determined to make Molly’s castle before she’s pregnant at 19. On and on, basically someone other than Matt is building it and deep down I kinda wonder if there was no show, if the castle would ever be finished.. I’m just saying, I’d like to know how much of this was actually paid for and how much was volunteer “friends.” Matt goes on and on about how cool it is. Amy and Becky seem bored and annoyed and Amy points out how expensive building a play house for a 16 year old girl is. Matt wants a dwarf armor suit. I feel like pointing out that the average height of a knight was 5 foot aka not all that much taller than him. Amy wants to put the breaks on but NO.
Cut to the castle being built despite costs. I think its poured concrete. Matt hay bales about how cost has no impression on him when it comes to useless crap his kids are too old for. Yay Matt! Who wants to bet this was all donated?
Matt openly disses Amy’s concern about money. Molly is annoyed that she isn’t allowed to even pick the throne. She seems a tad annoyed. She notes its no longer about her. Suddenly they are unpacking swords and armor. Molly over talks about how she isn’t as excited as Dad about the castle. I’m not shocked. I mean, she’s not five. She’s what? Fifteen? That’s a bit old for a play castle.
A bobcat moves stuff. Jake moves the throne in, no sign of Jeremy anywhere. The throne is there! Jake thinks its cool.
Meanwhile Matt and Amy discuss investment property. Amy thinks there is no money. Jeremy seems to be in the background on the couch. Amy hay bales about how she worries about money. They argue on camera about the investment property and in some ways I think Amy won this one. She hay bales about how easily it gets out of control. On screen she rants about how she is the only one who cares. Zach demands food and Amy cuts up a pizza. Commercial
You know, I’d have more sympathy for Kate Gosselin if she didn’t act affronted at the idea that her soon to be ex husband wanted to see the kids off to school. Bitch? Stop and consider how many people have the husband run and hide for *years*.
Guys from Orange County Cycle? Boo hoo yer arguing. You are still on tv whining. The show was a lot better when you were about the bikes and the art of metal working.
We get a fanfare and Matt goes on about how Amy didn’t support him over the castle. Nice. That is sure to help the marital discord. Jeremy is shirtless and Zach drinks from a bottle. Molly hay bales about how excite she is in a near monotone. That doesn’t shock me considering she will likely never “play” in the castle and is probably already wishing the money was put in her college fund. Amy hay bales about how the castle is really for Matt. Yeah… Amy kinda has a point here as Matt goes on about he invested their savings in yard art. Jeremy notes how cool the yard art it. I wonder how cool these people would be if they actually had to pay for the “yard art” with no tv show. The episode ends a little bit abruptly.
Zach and Jake fight with boxing gloves in the kitchen while tomato sauce is cooking. Amy says nothing. New shorter credits.
The McMansion. Rocky. Someone knocks. Oooh Fashion designers just wander in to dress the kids. They are noted as “friends” by Amy and are making snazzy clothes for Zach. The friends are not named and its really very anonymous considering that this is a product placement. The designer gets all designy with Zach. He says uh a lot. They do seem very nice and accommodating. Amy notes how nice it is to get custom clothes. Zach hay bales about zits. Yeah, no offense, but watching Zach work the Biore pads is not cool. I mean really, are zits this fascinating?
Molly dresses for the dance, her first winter formal. Amy makes it about herself and how she wasn’t asked. Oddly I can top Amy even though I am not super attractive, I was asked by Richard N, and Steve J. Richard had his senior photo done in his boyscout uniform, and Steve is now a professor of oceanography. I went to a party instead. With Steve, who actually was pretty good looking.
There’s lots of zit talk. Amy hap bales about zits. Oh jeez, really, it’s so not the reason Zach isn’t scoring with the hos.
Interestingly we’re 36 minutes in and hardly any Jeremy, friends, or Jake. Jake was the helper at the castle and Jeremy was showing off his six pack.In fairness, it is a nice six pack but frankly, I don’t recall Jeremy saying anything especially memorable. A lot of whinging later how he’s at his last high school formal. Cry me a river, son. Kids your age were dying in Afghanistan and Iraq the night you were all sad about your buds. Commercial.
I so don’t care about the Duggars having a grandchild.
Amy overviews about the dance. Matt interrogates Zach about how he doesn’t have a date. Matt hay bales how wrong it is that his boys don’t have actual dates. It is a bit surprising, all things considered. Zach goes on about how Molly’s dance should be special. Wow, this so reminds me of my brother buying me dresses and makeup and scoring dates for me when I was a kid.
Amy and Jeremy talk about dating. He wants to score with the bitches and have tons of chicks. That was his reasoning for not having a date, that he’d meet people there and bring home girls. Not “a girl” but girls. Nice. Amy hems Zach’s pants. Zach notes how he doesn’t give a crap. Also nice, considering the effort. The “friend” designers wander in with designer clothes that look expensive. Zach tells Molly to get pretty fast. Molly hay bales how she’s a girl and it takes time to be pretty. Jeremy goes on about how Zach doesn’t know anything about being attractive. Amy worries about corsages, and does Molly’s hair. Some chick wanders through the house who I don’t know. Amy hay bales about how she is having a midlife crisis since her kids are getting older. Matt seems pretty hands off. The kids rush about acting silly and Amy takes a ton of pictures. Oh I want her to come to Dragon Con. I do. Because she would go crazy with that camera and Amy Roloff taking pictures of Pimp Daddy Vader would be hilarious.
I can kinda relate to Amy here in that I met Leonard Nimoy over Labor Day and I had the thought that this guy, who was a pretty big part of my childhood from when I was four and figured out how to change the channel, was as old as my granddads, who are both dead. Time is moving on. I thought I had a pact to not get older, like Joey on Friends but yeah, it’s happening.
We get a house scene that I suspect is off since the winter formal is in January and the house has no snow etc. I mean, Oregon weather is moderate but really no snow in January? The kids tie tyes and Zach picks up Meredith. There is much picture taking. Wow this reminds me of my high school graduation . Except my mom and dad weren’t this awkward.
Wow, Meredith is hot and likes Zach, and Zach looks nice. I like Jeremy’s hair but I don’t care for the white vest. Interestingly Molly has the acne going on but Molly seems to appreciate Zach’s efforts to escort her. God, he reminds me of my brother. My brother recently offered to fly out because I may need some surgery, to remove the black evil in me, aka take out my gall bladder. I mean, that’s pretty sweet.
Amy notes that Zach forgot the designer coat and tells Jeremy to give it to him. Now we have the empty nest sequence. Again this so my mom.
Insert lots of Jeremy cam. This is “senior banquet”. There’s lots of pictures of kids in formal attire. Jeremy hay bales how he finds it strange, since it‘s his last winter formal. I mean really, does life end after high school? I remember things getting cooler but who am I to judge Jeremy’s deep deep thoughts? Insert “Sixteen Candles” montage. Except there is no John Hughes amusement.
Amy and Matt are… going out for dinner? Apparently the same night as the dance? I kinda doubt it but ok. Amy thinks Matt wants to relax and Matt thinks Amy is having a mid life crisis and isn’t interested in being relaxed with him. She wants to go to Venice. Matt wants to hang with his biotches and accuses Amy of wanting that too, in a passive aggressive way. She wants Spanish coffee on the Riveria, and Matt tells her to have fun. Nice.
This was a little bit cold, all things considered. I am not sure how I feel about these episodes.
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