Monday, November 9, 2009

Guest Roloff Episode review by Expressed: Little People, Big World November 9th

Our guest episode reviewer is Expressed. All opinions and statements made belong solely to the person making them (Expressed).



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Written by Expressed



1st Episode:

I'm not stoked about these episodes since I'm expecting a heavy dose of Jake and Zach tonight. But who knows!

*They start with Jake running wild in the house. Throwing balls with his friends and jumping around. Amy says it's his 12th birthday. She takes pictures. Jake seems to think it's funny to shake his head and make his hair frizzy.

*Opening credits. It's a good thing Jeremy shirtless is in here because I don't think we're going to get much of Jer tonight.

*Jake is talking on a cell phone. He tells Amy that people think he sounds like Molly. Amy starts talking about puberty. Jake wants to hear nothing about that. I don't blame him here. I don't want to hear Amy talk about Jake going through puberty either!

*Matt thinks Jake needs a phone. So naturally, Amy thinks it's a bad idea. Matt needs to learn reverse psychology. Really.

*Matt sits Jake down and sets the rules. His phone bill can't be more than Matt's. Why not just pick an amount? He can't text after 9pm and stuff like that.

*It looks like Matt is actually just giving Jake his old phone. They talk about deleting all of Matt's contacts in the phone.

*Jake has a girlfriend, although if any misguided 12 year old girls out there want who miraculously see something in Jake that they like want to get their hopes up, Amy's voice over was in past tense, "Jake had a girlfriend Taylor". They talk about Jake being 12 with a girlfriend. Amy thinks it might be too young. Amy says her and Matt still haven't figured out relationships. I don't think it's a big deal. Everyone knows what "relationships" are like for 12 year olds. You say do you want to go out? Yeah? Yep. Ok he's my boyfriend now.

*Surprise surprise. Jake is texting past 9pm or right at 9pm. Amy wants him to give it back. Jake gives attitude. Jake is being the Jake that we all know and love (HAHAHAHA). He argues. He whines. He calls Amy "amazingly dumb". He's such a charming kid, ain't he?

*Matt wants to make sure he's on the same page with Amy about the pone. Amy says they aren't. Matt wants to restrict the use, Amy seems to want to take it away completely for Jake breaking the 9pm rule.

*Like most arguments between Matt and Amy, it goes deeper. Amy makes snarky comments about how she's been involved with the kids for 19 years (and he hasn't).

*Matt tells Zach that he's pissed off that Amy won't answer his texts. Hasn't Matt learned that Zach will never side with him? Why even bother?

*Amy says Matt and her don't know each other as well as they thought. Could they be promoting this "troubled marriage" story any more?

*Wow, mark this date on the calendar! Someone in the family besides Jeremy, agrees with Matt. Molly agrees with Matt that Amy should answer her texts. Amy shouts her down. Amy doesn't want to be bothered and says she tells them where she's going before she leaves.

*A Jeremy sighting. These are a few and far between tonight. He's sitting in the kitchen while Matt and Amy argue about her not answering his texts. Matt keeps on saying he just want to know if she's ok. He asks her questions about the event she went to. Amy responds like a high school student. With one word limited answers. I think the real issue here is that Amy thinks Matt is checking up on her and she resents it.

*Jeremy pipes up and suggests they end this conversation now before it gets worse. Who still thinks that Jeremy isn't the smart one? Words of wisdom from Jer. Listen to him.

*Amy informs Matt she gave Jake the phone back. Matt is happy Jake has the phone again.

*Jake is shown breaking all the rules they set down.

*There is a montage about Jake's texting obsession. You know it's bad when even Jeremy says Jake is out of control with texting. Jeremy says Jake has a problem.

*Jake is yelling at Amy again. She told him he had 5 more minutes with the phone. He shouted "No!", she says "Yes!" She physically takes it from him. Jake yells about her saying he had 5 more minutes. Well Jake, you did until you yelled at her "No!". I hope some people realize this is a worse way to argue than what people accuse Matt and Jeremy of doing.

*Amy says she's taking it away for a week.

*Molly's phone is "missing". They all think and know that Jake stole it. She confronts him. He lies, saying he put it down somewhere and he will get it. He gives it back by throwing it at Molly. Luckily she catches it. Certain Jake fans don't like when he's called a brat so I'll say he is displaying "brat-like behavior". He's busted. Molly tells Amy that Jake was texting his girlfriend Taylor. Jake asks Molly for his phone back. Amy says no. Jake calls her an "idiot". Amy smiles and tells Jake that she loves him. He storms out. Sigh. This kid is unbelievable. He breaks the rules, yells at his mom, steals Molly's phone, breaks the rules again, and then wants his phone back. Then yells at her again.

*The phone bill is in. Jake has a............$2700 phone bill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Over 8000 texts in one month. This will forever end the discussion about if the Roloffs are just a normal family. Jeremy wonders what the world record is for most texts in a month. He's stylish in a sharp looking vest.

*Amy says they need to "help Jake understand" that he shouldn't text that much. Amy doesn't seem phased by the $2700 phone bill. Wow.

*Matt and Amy in another discussion about it. Matt wants Jake to clean up his room. What?? I'm with Amy here. She says don't make it about other things, it's about the phone.

*There is a new Little People Big World commercial from the photo shoot pictures that Spirits linked on here. Jeremy smiles and says he just graduated. Zach says they're going to community college. Jake says he will miss them.....come on! We all know they didn't really go anywhere...

*Back to the show. Amy calls Jake in for a talk. Note that Jake now has a hair cut. Amy is being way too nice. She speaks very politely and tells him this is "kind of a serious issue". Yeah....most people would consider a $2700 month phone bill a serious issue!! He broke the rule and she will tell him when he can have it back. He smiles.

*Cue the happy ending. Matt says they agreed they should take the phone away and put it in the drawer. Anyone want to bet whether they stuck to it and whether he was ever really without it for a week?

End of episode.

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2nd episode

*Zach and his friend Keith attempt to make food while Jeremy watches. Keith is trying. Zach doesn't know where they keep the pots....Jeremy comments that he hopes Keith and Zach are better soccer coaches than they are cooks.

*Zach and Keith coach Jake's indoor team. They're trying to get a job from the owner as coaches. They're off to a wonderful start. They have no lesson plan after the own told them to one prepared. They forgot.

*Zach doesn't know their names and the practice is just having the kids play a game. Zach is way too involved in playing himself. Hey Zach, you're supposed to be a coach! Zach dekes through and scores. Amy looks embarrassed watching. She tells someone that she told Zach not to score.

*At the Roloffs home, Jake's friend Levi tells Zach they kids want more drills instead of just a scrimmage. Zach says some other kid wants more games.

*Amy announces that they were given free tickets to the Seattle Sounders (MLS team) game because they're big tv stars :) Ok, she left that part out. But she was given tickets and it's also been arranged that they can meet with the GM of the Seattle Sounders. Yeah, this is another typical experience for kids going to soccer game. Ok, I'll play along, we're not supposed to think about this stuff. Amy is excited for Zach because this is a great chance for Zach to talk to a professional about his dream of a life in soccer.

*Jeremy and Zach are in the kitchen debating about what time they should leave because they don't want to be late (foreshadowing!) Jeremy is making loud noises dropping pots. Zach calls him annoying. Jer laughs.

*This is the sound byte of the night. Jeremy says he thinks Zach will make a good coach because....well, basically he can't see Zach doing anything else. Zach shouldn't use Jeremy as a reference if he's trying to get a job in soccer.

*They are getting ready to leave on their drive to Seattle. It's Zach, Jeremy, Jake and the friend Keith. Jeremy is sporting fancy (not really) overalls...I wish he'd lose the overalls. There, don't anyone say Jeremy fans don't criticize Jeremy!

*Now as they're getting into the van they suddenly all have soccer jerseys on.

* Zach drives while he talks to Keith in the front seat. Funny editing. Jeremy and Jake look like they're dead in the back seat. Don't anyone say Jeremy and Jake don't do anything together. They're sleeping together. The editing keeps going from outside the van to inside with Zach and Keith talking. One moment Jer and Jake are dead in the back. The next they're wide awake and texting.

*Surprise surprise. They're late. They're in a traffic jam. Zach yells that someone is braking....duh, it is a traffic jam. Zach almost gets them all kid with his wild driving. Jeremy tells him to calm down and be careful.

*At the game, it looks like they have box seats. Jeremy is REALLY excited. He looks more into it than anyone. It's funny, Zach is the one who is supposed to be totally into soccer, but it's Jeremy who looks like he's having a blast. Jeremy mostly shares his excitement with Keith. Again, who would you rather go to a game with? The guy who has fun and has a great time? No comment.

*Jeremy tells everyone that he would love to practice with the Seattle Sounders or a team like that and take shots on the goalie. Hint hint hint (as soon as the Seattle Sounders people hear that comment). Coming soon to a future episode of LPBW.... (just guessing).

*Zach thinks he can be the first dwarf to be a MLS coach. Wow. I guess it's good he has a dream. They're at a hotel waiting for they're big meeting with the GM. Zach is going to be in charge of the meeting, Jeremy, Jake and Keith are just along for the ride.

*Zach asks the GM questions about how he got started and tells him that he loves soccer, has always played and his now coaching with Jake...I notice Jeremy has a pained expression listening to Zach explain himself.

*The GM is very nice. He's trying to be very friendly and polite. He explains that he played and most everybody in his position has playing experience at a very high level. He tells Zach that he won't have that chance. He tells Zach he should do youth coaching (hint) and stay involved that way. He was trying to softly let Zach down without crushing his dream.

*Apparently Zach didn't hear it the same way I did. Zach is encouraged because he thinks he's on the right path with his big indoor coaching gig coaching Jake's team.

*Zach isn't my favorite and I don't think he got the signal the GM was sending, but I do feel bad for him. He does love soccer, it's his passion, but because he's a dwarf it really is not possible. He doesn't want to believe it's impossible, but I think everyone else realizes that it is. It is sad.

*Zach and Keith are back at the Indoor place for another practice. The owner is judging them to see if he will give them the job. This time they're more prepared and do some drills. It's the big moment. The owner is a nice guy. He says Keith is a great second in command and compliments Zach on his passion for the game and that's what rubs off on the kids and will keep them wanting to come back, so they have the job. Zach is excited to have his first paying (soccer) job....because the pay for being a reality tv show star is a hard living! Ha.

*The indoor owner gives Zach some good advice about life that the most important thing is to follow through on what you say you're going to do.

End of the shows tonight.

38 comments:

Tashapork said...

The whole cell phone episode was a little much. Getting a twelve year old a cell phone does not need to mean getting them a fancy Iphone (or similar) They could have gotten him a simple cell phone just to call on. They also really need to call their carrier and get their plan changed. Unlimited texting is not that expensive anymore and some cell phone companies have plans with parental control features that turn phones off during certain hours or limit the minutes and texts and alert parents to ussage. One problem I see happen a lot is that kids do not understand what the billing means such as each text costs so much and how quickly they add up.
I actually really liked the coaching episode, it was the first episode this season that didn't seem to put Zach down. I could see him growing and learning some good lessons
I am concerned about the Roloff's maarriage. Amy made a comment that really stuck with me. She told Molly when she was talking about the possibility of an emergency with Matt that she wasn't too worried because she knew she could take care of the four kids without him. She may have been being sarcastic, but its kind of scary.

Greg said...

Expressed, I realize what your point was about Zach, but honestly, that's not just a dwarf limitation.

Do you know how many kids dream of coaching/managing/owning their favorite sports team? It's not realistic for almost everyone.

$2800 for a phone bill is disgusting. Take away Jake's phone a feed the entire homeless shelter!

haley said...

I agree about the amy puberty thing that was said, it was not necessary. You could tell Jake didn't want to hear it, and Molly also gave a wierd look when she was talking about it haha!

as for Jacobs girlfriend, at that age im hoping that its not that serious, but amy kept secretly hinting that Jake was doing bad things with the phone and Taylor

the second episode was good, im happy for zach and his job. And of course Jeremy looked so cute during the whole thing!

JacobFan said...

The second episode was boring.

Why didn't they get him unlimited texting?

Didn't anyone notice that Jacob got screwed AGAIN? That was his birthday? And his cake?

Amy goes all out for Jeremy and Zach on their birthdays. Even Molly.

Roxanne said...

I agree about what Jeremy was wearing before they left for the soccer game. What happened to his sense of style?

Overalls with a pink shirt?

I think all the girls drooling over him has went to his head. He thinks he can wear anything and will be sexy.

susan said...

I think this whole phone episode is ridiculous. Get a different plan or get the plan the turns off with parent controls. Amy has her had full with Jacob she can’t make him give her the phone wait until he hits 16 yrs old. Amy undermines Matt’s authority with the kids every chance she gets and I don’t just mean this season. Gee the guy worked at a job that he had to travel with; she was a stay at home mom! Hello AMY of course you spent more time with the kid, just like every stay at home mom. Amy to say in front of the kid that Matt couldn’t take care of them in an emergency. I don’t think you could either Amy its not hard to dial 911
Which I can’t believe her sons still have such a messy room in that beautiful house where are her rules! I have 2 teen boys too but it’s not ankle deep in their rooms.

What is Zach going to do with his life he has no ambitions, I thought when he took a tour of the college it might inspire him but it he sound like he is going to community college just to do something. They need to put more into that kid’s life besides Soccer. Every kid playing a sport while growing up wants to be a coach but that very few ever make it. He doesn’t have the ambition to become a coach he just wants to be a coach because he thinks they don’t need a college degree or book learning. His brother can’t think of anything Zach and do other than coaching that’s scary to me and should be to Amy. What if it doesn’t happen is he ready for that disappointment.

David said...

"Why didn't they get him unlimited texting?"

I'm sure they do.

The whole show is fake.

Brandon said...

"His brother can’t think of anything Zach and do other than coaching that’s scary to me and should be to Amy."

Susan, I agree with you partially, but in fairness to Zach, Jeremy doesn't have realistic ambitions either. He just has more of them!

What have we heard that Jeremy wants to be?

A pro soccer player.
An owner of a pro soccer franchise.
A captain of a ship.
A pilot.

These are things that every 10 year old boy wants to be too.

Anne B said...

Jacob's mouth...my jaw drops. He has a sassy mouth.

Rod said...

Props to you Expressed. You called it, Jake delivered. Non stop brattitude from opening to closing credits. I wonder how long it will take him to wash enough cars, mow enough lawns, flip enough burgers, throw enough papers & whatever else he can come up with to pay off a four figure phone bill?.............Oh who am I kidding, he'll be texting away again when the *buddy* parents cave & give him his phone back by next week.

Expressed said...

Rod - Thank you :)

He won't though, because he's going to be (and is, hence the $2700/month phone bill) rich from doing this show.

DJ said...

That Jacob.......he's dreadful. He honestly is.

He was smirking after Amy had the "serious" talk with him.

Rod said...

"He was smirking after Amy had the "serious" talk with him."

That's what passes for a serious talk in that family? Is it any wonder they're out of control?

As for the smirk......I know it's pretty much verboten these days, but if I'd disrespected my mother like that she'd have "slapped the taste out of my mouth", as she was fond of saying.

Susan said...

Rod, I agree whole heartedly. Amy didn't even care that he called her "idiot" and "amazingly dumb". He is a very obnoxious kid.

Judy said...

Rod, are we watching the same show? Your comments are right on about Jacob, but don't lump in the other boys. Zach is as bad as Jacob sometimes, but Jeremy isn't.

Jacob and Zach are the bad apples of the bunch.

Anne B said...

Judy, me too. I keep on asking myself how Jeremy and Jacob can be brothers, raised in the same home, but have two very different attitudes.

To borrow from Rod, there is nothing but "Brattitude" coming from Jacob.

Tom said...

The parents are to blame, but they're all terrible kids with the exception of Molly. Too bad they didn't have all girls.

Alice said...

Here is a perfect assignment for Jacob as punishment. Find the word "thanks" in the dictionary.

He didn't even say thank you to his parents for giving him the phone. He's awful.

The only boy that appeared to have any manners was Zach's friend Keith.

Ashley said...

Speaking of Keith...was it only because they both wanted to coach or is that a friend who is more Zach's friend than Jeremy's?

Timothy said...

Expressed - I loved the comment about the van ride on the way.

I now understand why some parents give their kids sleeping pills when they go on long car rides.

It was the only time Jake and Jeremy weren't disrespectful, loud and obnoxious. Jake had the attitude in the phone, but Jeremy was annoying with all the noise he was making.

Those were a few seconds of relief.

Anonymous said...

"Roxanne said...
I agree about what Jeremy was wearing before they left for the soccer game. What happened to his sense of style?

Overalls with a pink shirt?

I think all the girls drooling over him has went to his head. He thinks he can wear anything and will be sexy."

Honey,he's not trying to impress the girls ;)

Laura said...

Zach's friend Keith sounded as peeved as some people from Oregon who watch this show. He didn't like how Zach pronounced the name of the state.

Laura said...

Also does anyone know why they have started to blur out the logos on the front of the soccer jerseys the boys wear? I didn't notice that in earlier episodes but they are this season.

Debbie said...

I was wondering the same thing about the names on the shirts they wear being blocked out. Do they block them out because the team isn't giving them money for the exposure (ie. Freebie) or because the team restricts it?

No disrespect to Keith intended because the little that I saw of him he seemed like a nice enough kid, but I kept thinking that van was full of some of the most spoiled and obnoxious combination of boys I can imagine. Jacob and Jeremy couldn't even fake excitement as they were leaving. All these things are given to them and they take it all for granted.

Natalie said...

Re: what Jeremy was wearing, Roxanne?

Did you catch Keith looking at Jeremy when they were outside the van? He was looking at Jeremy like "what the hell are you wearing???" LOL

DegrassiFan said...

Its not the team that is being blocked out its the sponser on the shirt. The red shirt that Jeremy was wearing is Liverpool. There sponser is a Carlsberg, a beer company.

The blue one that Jeremy wears is Chelsea. Their sponser is Samsung mobile.

The teams don't need exposure from 2-3 kids in Oregon. Believe me. They are known world wide already.

Diane said...

I missed Jeremy and Zach thanking the fans for getting them free tickets to the soccer game because of the show. Oh that's right. They didn't because they ignore the fans.

They are the pampered princes.

Those two are so lazy and disrespectful. How do they spend their days? 19, a few CC classes, no job other than to play.

I honestly believe they think the meaning of life is to make things fun for these two without needing to do anything in exchange for all they're handed.

Laura said...

Degrassi Fan, thank you very much for answering. I thought it was the name of the club, like the Yankees or the Raiders in North America.

Blurring Carlsberg makes some sense on this show, but Samsung? It must be the show wanting money for advertising. As you said, 3 teens wearing a jersey with their company name on it for a show on a small cable network is not going to make a difference either way.

Do you know what the sponser is on the (light?) blue jersey Jake always wears? That's being blurred out every time this year. It never was before.

DegrassiFan said...

The blue one that Jake wears is Blackburn Rovers. They changed their sponsership this year. The jersey Jake has is a year or so old. The sponser on Jakes jersey is Bet24 a sports betting company that includes games like poker and casinos. There new sponser for this season is Crown Paints.

DegrassiFan said...

I forgot Jake also has an AC Milan jesery (red one with black stripes). Their sponser is bwin also a sports betting company.

Tashapork said...

I think the blurring out of Logos is for TLC to show that it was not descriminating against Jon Gosselin over bluring out his Ed Hardy T shirts. There was some flack from advertisers so TLC needs cover its bases. They are currentlly in litigation with Mr Gosselin and probably do not want to look like they are singling him out.

Debbie said...

Thanks DF and Tashapork. That does make sense.

As well, depending on the sponsor of the club, it could conflict with the advertisors paying for LPBW commercial time. I'm guessing that might be the reason.

I long for the days of season 1 before everything became like that. It was more "real life" and showed what was going on. If they ate a particular brand of cereal, that's what they ate. If they wore a popular t-shirt with a logo on it, that's what you saw.

Might sound strange, but what if another soft drink company was the sponsor for the show. If they insisted from day one that Mountain Dew not be shown or mentioned. It would take something away from what we know about Zach.

I'm getting of topic now, but since I mentioned Mountain Dew, when did it become all about Zach? That's all that is ever talked about now. In the first few seasons it was Zach and Jeremy. I remember one episode when they said Jeremy hid the MD on the top shelf so he could hoard it all for himself.

Haley said...

anonymous 4:28--- Honey,he's not trying to impress the girls ;)

are you saying he's trying to impress the guys? ha

i was basically drooling the entire time Jeremy was on camera so even if he's not trying definitely its working :)

Roxanne said...

Haley, even when he was wearing overalls, the pink shirt and a hat with beads in them or something? ;)

IMO, Jeremy isn't as good looking as his friend Scott, but he does usually look good. But the overalls did not work! lol.

I noticed Jeremy started wearing overalls near the end of pumpkin season. Someone needs to tell him the truth.

Cindy said...

In fairness to Zach about being too competitive and playing (and scoring) against the kids...that's what I thought at first, but after giving it some thought, I think he needs to earn their respect. Why would they listen to Zach? If he shows them that he can play and knows what he's doing, that's a way to earn their respect so they will listen to him.

Noell :) said...

Expressed,
I loved it!
End of story. :)

Janice said...

Jacob will be the most damaged from living this life. At least Jeremy, Zach and Molly a bit experienced some normalacy before being swept away on TLCs magic carper and placed in Wonderland where they are special little snowflakes.

That's all Jacob has known. He doesn't know what the real world is like. He doesn't know how much things cost for most people. He doesn't know not to take everything he has for granted because that's all he knows.

The other kids (maybe Molly has a chance because she has a better head on her shoulders) don't have much hope either, but at least they knew what normal life was like

Kit said...

I suspect the blurring out was due to the sponsors being alcohol and gambling related. Nothing to do with Jon Gosselin...