Our next guest episode reviewer is Rap541. All opinions and statements made belong solely to the person making them (Rap541).
Written by Rap541
Amy and Matt talk about replacing the couch. It turns into Amy chastising Matt about life. I can see Amy’s point but I also see Matt’s. I must admit, I see Amy’s side more in that Matt seems pretty dismissive of her plans.
Amy is miffed that she had a speaking engagement when Matt plans a trip to the Virgin islands. Matt has no recollection that she ever mentioned a speaking engagement., which in fairness I don’t buy. Molly is torn. Jeremy is mostly concerned about sun tan lotion. Matt is equally concerned about lotion. Frankly their lack of concern about how the rest of the family feels is a bit odd.
Zach and Molly and Amy discuss not going to the Virgin Islands. This is awkward. I think Zach has a point on family vacations. My parents feel the same way its not family if its not all family. Jeremy over talks how Zach is a thinker. Matt is all excited about the trip. Amy notes Matt won’t miss her and that Matt doesn’t care that she will not be there.
Matt and Amy discuss how she can’t parajump into the Bermuda triangle and meet the boat. Matt acts like its no big deal. Amy is pretty pissed. Yeah, I kinda see her point here in that there is no major issue raised as to why she can’t attend other than “MATT HAS PICKED THIS TIME AND HE AND HIS PENIS HAS SPOKEN, ALL MUST OBEY!!” I mean really, was there an actual reason other than “because” that this couldn’t be rescheduled?
Ominous music under a BLOOD moon. Amy vacuums. Amy notes she may have misspoke. Zach is not talking to dad. He calls to Molly. He rants to Molly how wrong he would be to go. Its not family. Zach is annoyed that he was called a crybaby. Funny how the producers, including Matt and Amy apparently, have cut how *someone* called Zach a crybaby. Molly and Zach seem to feel really bad over the rift. Molly and Zach decide not to go.
Amy and Matt talk about it. Matt presents it to his mom as a father/son trip and Amy corrects him that Molly may attend. Amy and Matt argue harshly on this point. I think Amy has a point. It is very very obvious that this trip was not intended as a father/SON trip but as a trip that would have easily included Molly. And I can see why Molly was not interested once Matt presented it as a trip for he and his sons.
Matt invites Zach to go. Zach is pretty petulant but I can see his point. Who cares who’s chance it is, indeed? I feel bad for both Matt and Zach because I simply can’t imagine it being this divisive. Oh I remember my mom and dad arguing over trips but really, it is clearly not originally intended as a father son trip. Its very obvious that Amy would have easily gone if it had been arranged for her to attend.
Matt and Amy talk about Zach going. Matt says he almost canceled. Jeremy hay bales that he has no idea why Zach wouldn’t want to go. I kinda want to point out why Molly and Zach are angry. It’s noted that Jake may stay home. Molly and Zach and Amy do not pressure Jake to drop out. Amy and Jake talk about how Molly and Zach are the ones who do things with him. I really feel for Jake but I also respect Zach and Molly’s point of view. Because really, it is not unreasonable to expect one’s mother to be on a family vacation.
Matt goes on about how awful wrangling a free trip to the Bahamas is. He notes how he and his buddy Eric are like Mueller and Jeremy. Matt throws a huge guilt trip on Zach and Molly. Zach notes how irritating that is. Matt notes publicly how “Papa” will laugh at Zach and Molly. Matt, you’re acting like a jerk.
Molly and Zach note they don’t plan to sit around at the house for the trip.
Matt whines how the kids think their mom should attend a family trip. Stupid kids! Thinking their mother should attend their trip. Really, how ungrateful, expecting their father to ensure their mother who he is currently married to, to attend a vacation,. Gosh, wasn’t Matt the guy who left Mom to lead the kids around New Orleans since he had a major work crisis? Heaven forbid his wife NOT CANCEL a speaking engagement where she makes money for the family? Mom heads off to Wisconsin. Amy notes Matt just plans for Matt. Matt whines that he loves Amy but there’s just no question that he will go without her. Zach is all “I love the FAMILY”.
Jeremy notes that Zach is standing his ground, Mueller asks Jeremy how Zach and Molly are. Jer notes how sad they are. Yay Jer! In fact, during the episode, neither Zach or Molly seem all that sad about not being in the Virgin Islands.
They head out on a jitney. Matt says he almost pulled the plug and then he decided to invite better people than his family on the trip. The cool members of the family that Matt doesn’t mind ditching, head out on the boat. Jake gets to steer, the adults get to pull sales. It’s all so sail boaty.
The kids sail. Matt says something I can’t hear and they sail. Jake notes how he’s not normally treated as a pal by Jeremy and Mueller. Jeremy notes how Mueller is better than his brother. Yeah, I had always suspected that. Nice to hear Jer say it out loud so his fans can’t deny it. Meanwhile Zach and Molly play basketball. Zach notes how he’s not in the Mueller-JEREMY love fest. Zach seems to enjoy his time not whipping “it” out to compare to Mueller, Jeremy’s love.
Jer and Mueller scuba together like newlyweds . Papa notes he has a hard time keeping up. Matt notes how he was in intense pain. He notes how it causes problems when atving after a long winter in the cold. I’d feel worse if I wasn’t told Oregon rarely has snow.
Matt says he thinks he is deteriorating medically. Mueller and Papa and Jeremy and Jake. Jeremy reads some lines on the hay bale. Mueller and Eric share some love.
Matt blows into a conch badly. They head off to dinner. Matt notes Molly and Zach, HIS CHIDREN, would have come if their mother had attended, aren‘t there. I get an ugly vibe like Matt is seriously judging his kids. Jeremy snits how Zach missed out on “The memories”. I kinda want to point out that half of Jeremy’s family wasn’t there to make memories.
Molly notes she feared Jeremy and Dad mocking her for going, but that it was cool regardless. How nice is that? Amy notes Zach made instant food and laughs.
Matt goes on about how he can’t make it. He sends the lads off to cave explore and there’s much swimming in caves. In fairness I like Matt’s justification for Zach skipping. Meanwhile Zach and Molly hang on the farm. They are heading to the gorge. Oh their gorge is nice. And I grew up in Ithaca, the land of gorges. Molly and Zach both go on about the ugly issue between Zach and Dad. Wow.
Matt is hauled up to a boat and they head to Necker island. Gotta be honest, I have an idea how much this costs. WOW. Eric spots Matt up the deck and the Virgin slands? Nice?’
I dunno. Was this trip worth pissing off the wife? Because I so get why Amy feels annoyed.