The first of our guest episode reviewers is Expressed. All opinions and statements made belong solely to the person making them (Expressed).===============
Written by Expressed1st Episode:
The 3rd week of new episodes have arrived! :) Two great episodes! They're both all about the kids. Good job producers and editors! Lots to talk about and I'll try to do this as quick as possible because I'm on the clock! I don't care what they called the real title, I'm calling the first episode "Jeremy's revenge" (read for explanation!)
*They get started with...Jeremy shirtless! Good way to start. He wakes up, sits up in bed shirtless. He said something, maybe that he slept for 12 hours but I was distracted by his body ;-)
*Molly and Jake are doing homework. Molly says unlike the twins, she and Jake actually do their homework. Molly helps Jake. He complains she talks too loud and is annoying. She raises her voice. Jake yells at her to shut up. What a charming kid Jacob is.
*Cue Jeremy shirtless (aka the new opening to LPBW). This is good. Less than one minute in and they've already shown us Jeremy shirtless three times (twice in the opening). Maybe I should keep a running count of our weekly dose of Jeremy shirtless moments. I'm not complaining, but I think we have all noticed what they're doing. Good job producers! Sell Jeremy's body! :-)
*Back to the show. At Faith Bible high school. I think from Jeremy's hair and clothes this is at the same time that they filmed in season 4 when Dan and Bryan did their concert.
*Jeremy says they're getting bad grades and did bad on the SATs and Zach was benched from soccer. Jeremy explains that Molly is doing great. Molly chalks it up to her motivation and discipline.
*Now they're in speech class. Giving impromptu speeches. Jeremy's subject is "skin". I think Jer did good. He said it's wrinkling and if you cut it, it magically heals itself.
*Zach's topic is popular. That's an easy topic. Much easier than "skin". But Zach changes it to "grass". He talks about how you play soccer on grass. The teacher makes what I thought was a joking comment about Zach making everything about soccer.
*Back at home, Amy, Jer, Zach and Molly have a meeting on the stairs. Teacher wasn't joking. She hated Zach's speech and he bombed. Zach is pissed and whining about how unfair it was. The surprising thing is Jeremy is pissed at Zach. Jeremy has had enough of Zach's whining and complaining about how unfair it is. Jeremy tells him he should have been more prepared. Amy tells Zach he should be more prepared. I hope they were talking about in general, because to be fair to Zach, how can you be prepared for an impromptu speech? lol. Quote of the week is spoken by Jeremy. Something about throw a steak on Zach because he's so hot (mad).
*Amy drags Jeremy and Zach to Portland State University. They are in awe listening to someone give a speech about it, to a room full of...well, no one except for Jer, Zach and Amy. She tells them about the requirements. Portland State Univ is out of their league. Zach's jaw is on the floor listening to how good your grades need to be. Jeremy is very cool about, cooly rubs his chin.
*Amy says PSU is unrealistic for the twins. Yep.
*Both Jeremy and Zach say they're interested in business. I was surprised to hear Jeremy say that. He says he is interested in business. Zach says sports management. Jeremy agrees. Jeremy thinks it would be cool to own and manage a sports team.
*They're talking to a University counsellor or somebody. Uhoh. The music is set up to make Jeremy sound like an idiot. Shame on Joey Newman the music guy for LPBW! They're doing the dum, dum, dum music. Jeremy is asking something about how long it would take to get a degree if he wanted to be a mechanical engineer. I think Jeremy just wants to know if it take 4 years and he's set. The counsellor looks confused and says it takes 2 years to get this and then 2 years for that and then you need to get x. Jeremy asks again. The counsellor looks more confused. I don't think what Jeremy was asking was that dumb at all, but this scene is meant to make Jeremy look stupid. Thumbs down to this scene!
* Matt asks Jeremy how he liked Portland State University. Jeremy says he liked it. Really??
*They flashback to the 2nd season when Matt was telling Jeremy about Wharton. Matt says he and Amy have tried to prepare the twins are college and are frusrated they aren't.
*Matt and Jeremy talk about UCLA?? I think they're setting up a visit for Jeremy??
*Cut to Zach, Amy and Jeremy in the living rooms. Jeremy looks great in all light blue, jeans and jacket. Despite Jeremy looking hot, the scene is hostile. Amy is question Zach about his grades that suck. Jeremy tells Amy that Zach didn't do an essay or something. Zach is pissed off. Zach haybales (thanks Rap541 my fellow reviewer!) that he's pissed off when Jeremy tattles on him. Zach says it's the most hypocritical thing ever. Back to the "live" action, Jeremy really does seem fed up with Zach's whining and complaining. Jeremy doesn't mind telling Amy who crappy Zach is doing and giving it to Zach when Zach whines about how unfair it is.
Wow, who would have guessed if you were told back in the first season that Jeremy and Amy would team up to tell Zach how crappy his grades are at school?
*Amy doesn't know what happened to Zach, he used to be ok in school, now he sucks. Jeremy walks by again and hands Amy something, I think Zach's horrible test.
*Hence my title for this episode, Jeremy's revenge. Jeremy genuinely seems angry at Zach for complaining about his bad grades. I think it's all the years of Zach telling everyone that he was the smart one. Jeremy is getting the last laugh now and is happy to help give it back to Zach now.
*Zach has a cooking assignment. He's making a cake. Amy is in the kitchen helping him make the cake. Zach asks what flour is. Doesn't know how to crack an egg. Amy is doing most of it. In fairness, everytime a kid gets help from a parent, doesn't the parent always end up doing it? I remember that. They put the cake in the oven. Zach leaves. He doesn't come back for it. Amy brings takes over and brings the finished cake out to the garage. Jeremy likes the cake and thanks Amy. Side note: Is everybody noticing how well Jeremy and Amy seem to be getting along these days?
*They're at school for Zach's big moment to show the class how to bake the cake. Jeremy says he's nervous. Camera pans to the other people in the class. Dan! Dani! Bryan! They laugh and give quizical looks as Zach cooks. When Zach doesn't know what to do, he makes little jokes.
*I want to see Jeremy cook! We never see Jeremy cook on this show. Last year Zach cooked the dinner at home. This time, they show as Zach cook again and not Jeremy.
*Back at home, Zach bombed his cooking speech again. He got a C. He's pissed and thinks he got robbed. Again. He didn't introduce it with a 5 point introduction. Amy sounds torn between blaming the teacher and being pissed at Zach. She doesn't understand how he didn't do good with her helping him.
*Zach says his attitude for senior year is that D's are great. Wow.
*Amy tells MolAly to tell Zach he needs to get organized.
End of episode
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2nd episode
*For the second week in a row, the 2nd episode starts with Jake roller blading in the kitchen. He knocks glasses and pop cans over with a soccer ball.
*Amy wrestles with Jake on rollerblades. As Jacob is jumping on Amy's back, Amy calmly asks Jake if he should be blading in the kitchen because he's destroying the floor? Jake doesn't care. Amy goes back to wrestling with him.
*Molly joins the conversation. This is very strange. Molly, Amy and Jake. Molly debates with Amy if Jake is going to get in trouble for destroying the floor with the roller blades. With all of them sitting there...Amy says stuff like yeah he will get in trouble, Molly says he won't. What a weird conversation.
*Amy tells the camera that her parents were always very clean and organized. She vowed when she had kids, she wanted them to have fun. That's all.
*The kids like to break stuff. Zach talks about all the stuff the kids break, furniture, etc. Scenes are shown of 50 kids running through the house trashing it.
*Jeremy asks Amy for the boxing gloves. This looks promising! Yes! Jeremy and his friends go out to the barn to box. Jeremy shirtless again! This is great. What is better than a grunting, shirtless Jeremy working his muscles by wrestling? Were they going to really box? It's Jeremy VS Bryan. Oh, Bryan just punched Jer in the face. I guess they are boxing! Most of their match for the 10 seconds they show it is Bryan trying to take Jeremy down. Jeremy falls on Bryan. Other friends are shown wrestling. This scene is over in about 20 seconds. Not fair!!!!!
*Matt takes Sven in the house and downstairs. To be honest, I don't care what they're saying, I want more of the boxing with Jeremy shirtless! :) The gist of the Sven part is Matt is getting him to clean the basement up because Amy has it in disaster.
*There are stains on the carpet. Matt is mad. Amy says it's the dog and doesn't care. Matt thinks it's from the kids spilling drinks. Matt wants a rule about no drink upstairs. Amy says she "tries to discourage it". Matt is totally right. Well, I don't know about the rule, but Matt calls Amy on how lame it is to say "you're discouraging it". That means I don't want you to do it, but go ahead.
*This stuff is revealing about Matt and Amy. Amy says she wants Matt mad at her and not the kids so that's why she argues with Matt. She doesn't want Matt angry at the kids.
*Molly walks by and says they both suck at disciplining and it never, ever happens and never will.
*A random shot of Jeremy firing a shotgun in a field. Jeremy hits his target! A baby dear gets its head blown off. Oh great, now the PETA group will be after Jeremy too. No, no, I'm just kidding. LOL. They didn't show Jeremy kill anything, but they did show him fire a gun. Was that added last minute to scare off the vandals? :)
*Amy goes to Matt's mens crisis center to point out that it's a mess. Amy says Matt doesn't care about keeping things clean. Amy thinks Matt's issue with cleaning is because he wants to get rid of all her stuff and keep his stuff.
*Amy brings home groceries. Matt and Jeremy get home, they have groceries too. They argue about it. Matt wants Amy to thank him. Amy doesn't like that Matt infringed on her domain. Matt blames Jeremy for grabbing more stuff at the store.
*Matt can't find the remote. He finds it in another room. He's angry. Amy is upset that Matt is angry. Matt blames Jacob. Calls Jacob into a room. Jacob denies that it was him. Matt doesn't believe him. He points to a video game and says he's taking it away. Jacob doesn't care. What a brat.
*The coffee table is all burnt along the edges. Matt notices. Tells Amy. Amy doesn't care. I agree with Matt here! Matt is shocked Amy doesn't care. Matt says that means one of the kids took a lighter and burnt the table and Amy doesn't care? Yep. Amy doesn't care. Matt says someone needs to get in trouble for it. Amy says no. Amy says you don't know when or how it happened, so you can't punish, just forget about it (I hope the people who want Jeremy's head for the "scandal" stuff are paying attention.....after seeing this scene there is NO WAY IN HELL Amy was ever going to get mad at Jeremy for that! lol)
*Back to coffee-table-gate. Matt blames Jacob. I don't know about that honestly. I think we all know Jeremy smokes. Burning the coffee table makes me think Jeremy and his friends more than Jacob, but maybe Jake has a history that I don't know about. Matt tells Amy that most parents would call all 4 kids into the room and demand that one of them confesses. But Matt and Amy don't do that because Amy says they don't know when or what happened, so just forget about it.
*Matt comments that Amy is very protective of "her little hens" (the kids!).
*Amy serves pizza to about 20 kids running aroud the house.
*Some carpet cleaning guy comes. This is random. Obviously a free service they elected to have done :)
*The basement is clean now. Jeremy is impressed. But do any of us viewers care about the basement? No, but there is a nice view of Jeremy's butt in his tight jeans :)
*Jake jumps in and out of a window. It's chaos. 50 kids in the house trashing the place. They do a montage like "the morning after". The house is a wreck. Amy walks through shocked at how bad it is. She says it's bad even for her. Weak threat time. She says to herself and to the camera that maybe the kids can't have friends over if they're going to trash the house like this.
*Amy says she's waking the kids up and telling them to clean. Amy tells Zach Matt will be pissed. Zach says even he is pissed because it's so trashed. All 4 kids get up and help clean it up.
*Amy is happy! She tells the kids that they're awesome. Amy tells the camera that the kids respond to her type of discipline. She tells the kids they all did great.
*Matt agrees the place looks great. Matt and Amy both say the kids have earned the right to have the friends over. Party time!
*Back to the boring basement storyline. Amy comes downstairs (like she hasn't seen it, it's been going on for days....) she's impressed with Sven's cleaning service.
*Jake, Amy and Matt play risk. Jake looks like somebody in that white shirt and his hair like that. But who? I know! He looks like John Travolta in the 80s, I think Grease!
*Matt ends the show by saying he's realizing he shouldn't care so much about the house being clean.
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