Our next guest episode reviewer is Rap541. All opinions and statements made belong solely to the person making them (Rap541).
Written by Rap541
I have to say, the overly dramatic commercials suggesting that Zach won’t graduate are a tad silly considering we already saw the graduation party.
Jeremy whines about waking up. Amy tells him to get up on time. Jeremy insists he wakes himself up, and has no idea Amy wakes him up. Amy rightly notes it’s a pretty stupid conversation considering he’s admitting she gets him up but insisting he “doesn’t know that”. Really Jeremy, the way to prove mom wrong is to actually get up every morning without her needed to come into your bed room. You’re 18. Almost 19 in this scene. Stop whining, start doing. And Zach? Same to you.
Now the kids are eating ravioli. Matt notes Jeremy’s grades are important. Jeremy calls Dad “Mr. College” in a snide tone and then concedes it was rude. There’s an extensive voiceover on how the boys haven’t been giving a darn about college. Zach hay bales how he doesn’t really want to go. Matt wants to buy the twins a house and let them have a their own bachelor pad for college. Molly rightly notes how the twins are completely immature. I wonder how realistic buying a house for two people to live in while they attend a college that they don’t really want to attend and don’t really care about is. I mean, I have heard of this sort of investment, and it’s not a bad idea if your kid is going to a four year school…. But when your kids basically drool and run away when college is mentioned, in this housing market it seems like a bad idea.
Oh and how long would a house with Jeremy and Zach last, really? The two guys who like to burn and break things?
Amy wakes up the twins at 7am. Funny that. Amy hay bales how they rely on her and she notes its “astounding” she has to wake them up. This turns into a bit of a whine fest on Amy’s part on how she isn’t acknowledged as their servant. Amy? There’s an easy way to solve that. Advise them both that you’re not their servant, or their secretary, and let them fall. The twins are old enough to get themselves up for school without you. If they miss too much and fail, then they do.
Amy buys graduation stuff. This involves extensive decoration with Party City! Party City is where the Party is! PRODUCT PLACEMENT! PARTY CITY!
So now the two brain trust twins are being led to college by their mommy. Zach hay bales how he doesn’t want to go. Neither twin has brought id because well, why bother. I mean they’re just almost nineteen. I suspect they still need to be told to wipe at this point. Amy notes she has to tell them everything to do. The twins are given forms. Jeremy doesn’t know his social security number. FYI Jer? Depending on your state? Its ON your driver’s license. You know? Id? Zach can’t spell the state he lives in. Zach hon? The name of the state you live in? Is on your driver’s license. You know? Id? Amy helps Jeremy fill out his form while Molly helps Zach, because neither can manage for themselves and would no doubt wander off in five minutes if left to manage it themselves. Jeremy notes he is going to community college because he is lazy. Zach says he might not graduate. Amy hay bales that she was startled to hear that. I really don’t know why that’s a shocker, Amy. I think it was pretty obvious awhile ago.
We redo “I might not graduate” in the next post commercial scene. Amy hay bales how worried she is. The twins go see the guidance counselor together because that’s completely appropriate, two young men having a joint guidance session. I know the filming is partly an issue here but really? They aren’t *conjoined* twins and should be seeing the college counselor separately. The twins both hem and haw about why they are wanting to attend PCC, hinting that their grades aren’t great and they aren’t all that interested.
The twins and Amy are given the tour. There’s a farm, sheep, an organic garden. Its all very green. Amy muses on taking a photography class and spending more time with the twins in class. Yeah, my mom made that joke. Both twins look bored and ask nothing.
Amy’s parents are at the house. Grandma seems really excited about community college and says some nice things (smaller classes, less expensive, time to make up your mind)
Now more people turn up, including massive tat boy. Molly has already planned her college career (so not surprised) and Amy and her lp friend pick out cute photos for the party. A nice montage of the twins while Amy wonders “what went wrong?” Oh Amy…. Zach apparently has barely been able to hear most of his senior year. He lives in a house of chaos and never is made to work. And he seems to be depressed and frightened and a bit infantile about doing anything where you aren’t holding my hand. Oh, and he’s on a tv show. Is that an elephant walking by? Or just a prop from Party City? PARTY CITY IS WHERE THE PARTY IS!
Grandpa NotRoloff quickly decides to run things and tells Matt what to do with machinery. Matt voices over how Zach might not graduate complete with dramatic music. The party is before graduation. Jeremy hay bales how he and his *twin brother* have gone to school together for 12 years. Yeah, that’s deep and not obvious.
Amy is getting some minor league soccer team to show up, the Portland Timbers. This is actually kind of a weird graduation gift. A minor league soccer team showing up to meet and greet? There’s even gifts for the twins. From the team. Honestly it just seems kinda kiddy for my tastes, but the twins love it so. And of course, the twins get their own little soccer clinic and this is so something that not on tv people have happen. Lil note, Roloff clan, having a semiprofessional soccer team attend parties is a wee bit extravagant. Matt voices over that basically they ignored Zach’s grades over Jeremy’s and now Zach is failing. Hmm.
There’s expensive cakes. I wonder if the dude on Cake Boss made them. They looked fancy.
Amy heads into school and demands to know Zach’s status. Really, what school doesn’t inform the parents that the kid isn’t graduating. Unless Faith is a terrible school - and having seen how some of the grads spell, that’s possible, its hard to believe Amy and Matt could conceivably turn up for graduation just in time to see Zach hauled out of the line and given a dunce cap.
Oh look, a commercial where Zach graduates. Nicely timed, TLC. Nicely timed!
Back to the show! Finally! Zach is apparently going to graduate! And Jeremy finished with honors… good for him! Pity it’s too late to do much good, but good job! The family sits out on the giant porch and Zach hay bales how he did what he needed to do. Matt says something trite about Zach buckling down and working which is completely not what we just saw.