Our next guest episode reviewer is Rap541. All opinions and statements made belong solely to the person making them (Rap541).
Written by Rap541
So Matt is all “the whole family is going to Europe”. Matt drones on and on and seems kinda like “been there done that”.
Jeremy picks up a box and opens and its brand new rucksacks of course. Jeremy is all over viewing that he wants to go to Europe. Jeremy wants Molly to come. Amy hay bales how the boys have drifted apart. Really? How exactly have two teenage boys who share a room drifted apart? I mean, we JUST SAW the graduation episode where they were hugging and all. Zach hay bales how this is true. Zach seems to be wearing the same size of ruck as Jer. That probably won’t be comfortable but… Jeremy is all “Zach hasn’t been hanging with me and the buds, that’s interesting.” Zach and Jer both pick thru piles of junk to pack. Zack goes on about how filthy he is. Zach really. You’re not required to be dirty. I mean, wearing your undies until they are crusty is pretty gross.
Matt tells Zach and Jeremy to mind each other and not argue. Matt’s biggest fear is that the twins will be separated…. Really, god forbid the Wonder Twins not be together every waking moment. For all the “we’re pulling away from each other” talk, its perfectly natural for two brothers to not spend every waking moment together.
Amy harps on hygiene as she drives them to the airport. Lil late there, Amy. She hay bales how this is a right of passage and hopes they don’t fall apart. Zach notes how leaving America means he can’t hitchhike home. Well, at least he paid attention at SOME POINT in school.
So the lads are in a plane and apparently Jeremy’s dream, along with being a pilot, a ship captain, etc, is to go to Scotland. He seems cheerfully excited. Zach pretends they aren’t being followed by a camera crew. Jer interviews how they are in Scotland, he’s tired and they have no idea where to go. They do some photo ops in front of the airport. Jeremy is all “We only ride the bus for KICKS at home” no doubt because they are rich boys with multiple cars. They are going to a hostel…. Edinburough is nice. The boys wander about, looking for signage. They spin in circles and finally they seem to find it, Jeremy whines how the city isn’t on a grid but does seem excited over the hotel…. I mean hostel. It’s a nice place.
Zach hay bales that he is tired and needs sleep. Jeremy hears the call of the pipes and runs off to perhaps join the Clan Macleod. He hay bales how sad he was over Zach being tired and wanting to sleep.
I am gonna throw both the twins a bone here. I think its perfectly fine if Jeremy was excited and wanted to run around. And I think it’s perfectly fine that Zach was beat and wanted to sleep. They’re twins. They aren’t *conjoined* twins, and I think its kind of sad that they both seem to feel guilty about doing anything by themselves. I also am not seeing the constantly mentioned tension or the “I have to drag Zach into doing anything” issue. He seems a little hesitant but not stopping Jeremy from doing anything. I mean, for all the talk… seems pretty congenial. At least until we get to Amsterdam’s whore streets.
So its 8pm and they are in Scotland for two days, and Jeremy admits to having slept a few hours in their Scotland adventure. They order food. Jeremy orders haggis and beer. This is clearly not the scene in the commercial where the boys are drinking beer. Jeremy is all “Zack wouldn’t try the beer but we’re here to blow our minds”. Finally Zach drinks beer and notes its nasty. Haggis is kinda meh, btw. Zach notes there is no mountain dew. That’s really what you should take away from Scotland
Jeremy notes they have a personal guide for day two. Jeremy goes on about his love of kilts etc. the old fellow who takes them is all “go commando!” which fyi means no undies. And they are ok with it. Jeremy seems to be in a general kilt. Jer should come to Dragoncon where everyone wears kilts. They call command “nudy-budy”.
Then the lads are trying pipes and walking about. There’s lots of scenery. They walk up a hill. Its cute. I like Kenny. How about a show about him?
Jeremy harps on how Zach wore a kilt. I mean really, I didn’t see Zach cry or refuse, and honestly, it IS kind of a touristy thing. Anyway… There’s a nice history lesson, and now they are moving on to their next adventure!
They finish up and Kenny seems to have had a good time, even if he seems a bit overly interested in getting the boys to shuck their undies.
So now we’re in Dr. Who territory, aka Merry old London. Jeremy voices over how they are gonna find that hostel. They do have nice hostels. There’s doubledecker buses and Jeremy notes how he had to be the man and push to have fun. They only have one day. They head to Big Ben. Zach wants to plan, Jeremy wants to take pictures of vomit. Lil hint Jer, you can do that in America. They find Big Ben after riding the tube. They take pictures. I have fond memories of “The Doctor Dances”.
Meanwhile, Amy is annoyed that no one has called.
Back in London, they are off to Buckingham Palace. They wander by the Tower Bridge and head off to Hyde Park. My dad used to play soccer in Hyde Park. Jeremy joins in a soccer game, Zach notes that he’s not totally uncomfortable with “BSing in a foreign country”. They talk soccer.
Jeremy notes how well its going. They head to the London Eye, where The Doctor and Rose defeated the Autons and The Nestene Consciousness. Jeremy is very impressed. Zach is nervous. They hang around a brdge and muse how “Eye” is a better name than “Wheel” or “Joe”.
Back at the hostel, Jeremy notes that they are stressing in the space. Oh jeez they brought a soccer ball. REALLY?
Meanwhile Matt hay bales how the boys are culture shocked and hopes they learn some life lessons. Perhaps sending the clods with a camera crew to a foreign country isn’t the best way? Might have been less expensive to try parenting?
The boys head off to foreign speak land. Jeremy plans to laugh at Zach over Zach’s language concerns. They are on the Chunnel, it seems. Now they are in Brussels. In theory they don’t know where they need to go. Zach correctly identifies the language as French. Jeremy is all “I want to spit bullets” over it. In fairness he is very polite to the nice train fellow he speaks to. They seem fairly confused. They wait on the wrong track.
So they continue wandering about and finally find the right platform. They’re on their way to Sin City! Jeremy waxes on the Red Light District and how prostitution is legal. Jeremy continues to go on about how Zach needs to break out of his comfort zone by eating Indonesian food. Zach rightly notes that you can get Indonesian food in America. Jeremy then tricks Zach into eating some hot pepper and gleefully notes how hilarious tricking someone into being miserable at the table is funny.
So only one day in Amsterdam and Jeremy wants to take Zach to prostitution alley later. The scenery in nice - Top Model went here. The lads try on clogs and wander about. Jeremy is all “so lets head down to the whore show street”. Zach goes with him with little argument on screen. Jeremy waxes on how sophisticated he is with his love of the night life in Amsterdam. Jeremy notes how one should not take their girlfriend to the red light district. They go on about how they are both feeling tense over Zach not wanting to troll the whore streets looking at the nude women in windows advertising their wares (that’s what we *weren’t* seeing btw) Both note how when the other is tense, each “totally shuts down”. Jeremy hay bales how sad he was that Mueller was not there for the walk down the hot whore street. Yeah, not shocked that it’s the red light district being cut short that prompts that comment.
For the record, Zach was uncomfortable touring Prostitution Alley. I am curious to see how this is spun into “Unadventurous Zach *ruined* Jeremy’s good time! All Jeremy wanted to do was spread his Christian love to the red light whores! All good Christian boys love whores and love the red light district! Stupid Zach!”
Zach hay bales how “tense” they are even though there really seems to be little tension….Jeremy notes how he was stuck and how they don’t spend time together and its weird for them to be together. Really? Isn’t that the exact opposite of the last five years?
Honestly, for all the talk of “tension”, they seemed fine.