Saturday, April 24, 2010

Guest Episode Roloff Review by Rap541: Little People Big World April 19

Our guest reviews of the LPBW episodes have become weekly staples to the site. Some have asked for Rap's review of last Monday's episodes. Here they are. Sorry for the delay.

All opinions and statements made belong solely to the person making them (Rap541).


Written by Rap541

First episode

First off, I am very sorry this is so late. The cable fritzed out here for the entire length of Monday’s show. But the intrepid Spiritswander pointed out how easy it was to purchase and download the episodes from Itunes for $1.99. Then I had to question whether I wanted to spend 1.99 per episode. Finally, I decided it was worth it. Actually I was a little bored so…

So we’re in Florence. Jake likes the open air elevator until he manages to break it. Molly is amused

Now they head to Palermo? Jake notes how dull going to churches, even architecturally magnificent churches is. I know Jake is going to catch a lot of flack so let me ask you all up front. Have Jeremy and Zach chosen to spend any of their time in Europe looking at churches? Or has their trip been soccer, kilts, beer, and whores? Amy hay bales how she hoped Jake would see something he liked. Jake notes he would have preferred swimming to hauling ass up and down stone stairs. Molly seems to be having a good time and hay bales that Jake was a pain.

Meanwhile in Germany. Jeremy hay bales how he was developing his own style by driving places. Just so we all understand, it’s actually a bit unusual for a 19 year old to a)have the money to rent a car in Europe or b) be allowed to rent a car in Europe. Jeremy and Zach’s unique style of travel is basically being indulged with privileges people who aren’t on a reality show would not receive.

Back in Florence, Amy waxing on how delightful Italy is in summer. Amy and Molly go jewelry shopping while Jake is pointedly bored. Hmmm…. Gosh, if only Jeremy and Zach, who spent oodles of their vacation time in the jewelry stores could have been there since their experience was *exactly* like Jake’s….Jake again notes how he would have preferred the beer and whore tour in Germany.

In Germany. Jeremy and Zach hay bale how they were going to have to sleep in the car since they have no idea where they are. They find a pretty waitress who speaks English. They order Hawaiian Pizza (a traditional German dish, I believe) and note how cute the waitress is. They say they have no place to sleep and are alone, sad little waifs tossed in the harsh world and the waitress invites them into their German home . Jeremy hay bales how nice it is to have a production crew to set up a place to stay and a whole pretend for the camera scenario so they don’t even have to think. You know, while on their unplanned adventure. Zach is impressed with how they got invited but it seems super fake. Jeremy notes how he’s never been invited into a complete strangers house in a foreign country. I imagine this would be a whole lot more risky or thought provoking if they weren’t being tailed by a camera crew. Wasn’t the entire premise of the splatter horror film “Hostel” two stupes getting caught in a European snuff ring just like this?

Zach notes he is not socializing, that is Jeremy‘s job. They meet the entire family and everyone seems to speak English and Jeremy seems impressed with his adventure. Zach notes how awkward he feels. Yeah um… really I find this rather implausible. I mean, they just happen to be invited to spend the night with the mayor who just happens to invite them to a major league soccer practice. Sorry, this is way too much of a set up. I can smell the lies. This is on the level of the “friends who just happen to stop by and offer to build custom bicycles” stuff. Oh, and do note - the twins do not turn down the soccer offer to look at churches.

Meanwhile Amy is noting how they are boring the hell out of Jake. So they are in Venice, which is essentially going to a bunch of buildings on top of a humid swamp in high summer, but it is cool to take a boat to work so…. The scenery is cool. Jake is dying for the pool and is in an excited frenzy. In fairness, it’s a cool pool at the hotel. Basically he is denied a pool due to “private party” heheheh.

Meanwhile the German thing continues. There’s a giant meal. Jeremy again notes how he and Zach were taking a risk. I’d agree completely if this was not so obviously a production set up. I mean, the mayor just happens to take them to the pro soccer practice? Come on. Oh and yeah, this sure is the same as looking at churches and jewelry shopping. Zach seems impressed. Jeremy is a bit meh in the hay bale. If I took a drink every tme he said “amazing”, I would be so drunk by now.

Venice. One day. Amy hauls the kids to a gondola. Molly likes it. Jake is bored. Jake is now excitedly anticipating his swim. So of course the pool is completely drained. And of course there’s no lock on the facility because letting guests roam around the drained pool is perfectly safe, and of course there’s a camera crew waiting. Feels fake. My one concession is that pool safety may be different in Europe but really…Amy does seem sad for him.

They take a train to Nice. Amy suggests Jake swim in the Mediterranean. They run. I so secretly hope they get to the beach and it’s closed…. Alas finally Jake gets some water. Jake notes the ocean is good.

Meanwhile in Milan, the boys kilt up and proudly remove their undies for the camera. They then stand about dumbly and argue where to go. Amy is *worried*. I wonder why she hasn’t called the production crew? Jeremy notes he doesn’t know was “Rue” is and notes to always trust strangers. Easy enough when you’ve got personal handlers….

They search for the neon naked guys. Jake runs and hugs Jeremy and then Zach and Amy notes how cool the kilts were. Zach hay bales how he worries, and Molly is given her wooden shoes by Jeremy. There’s excited chatter. Jeremy proudly notes they saw no museums and were completely unplanned despite the obvious planning.

Episode two

Matt is now going on how he had Matt time for a week but wants to see the kids now that he has scoured the house. I note that Matt stores wine on the floor. How convenient.

Matt takes pictures of the dog and hay bales how he is packed and leaving. Then he takes a picture of the Bug. He notes how he has plans for the French part of the trip.

The family does a vineyard tour and a castle. Matt notes traveling is difficult. Oddly Jeremy notes the “Big MR” smell. Amy notes that Matt generally takes over and makes everything about him. Even Molly and Jeremy gets in on the Dad dread. Jeremy’s hair dramatically changes in the hay bales.

Matt wants to show everyone a good time with a lunch in France. Amy heads down to play bocce and she lets Matt have time with the kids. This seems a lil overly explained. They actually seem to be getting along ok at lunch. Matt actually looks like hell in the van and Amy notes that rather sweetly that Matt wants the kids to see this castle that she and Matt had seen on their first trip but really, Matt looks wasted in this. He naps in the van. Amy hay bales that its disappointing.

Zach notes the city of Eze is not lp friendly. But the view is awesome. Jeremy hay bales how dad really wanted to see Eze but how it was already a failure - I actually repeated this a few times and still don’t know what Jeremy was saying. Matt gets the scooter out and joins them. Jake and Jeremy meet Dad and Jeremy pushes the scooter. Matt wants to build a city of Eze on the farm.

So they head to a train. To head to Paris. Matt lost his ticket and buys a new one. Train travel is so civilized and fun. Relaxing even. I highly recommend. Matt goes on and on how everything is stacked against them. I dunno, I mean this is just a vacation…. I mean they aren’t exactly storming the beach at Normandy. Amy notes that with six people, its harder to keep people moving. They hotel up - nice view of the Arc de Triumph (sp) and the Eiffel Tower. Amy shoots down Eurodisney immediately. Matt notes how they can’t plan stuff he can’t do. They get on a double decker bus for a your. That’s cool. Molly is all about the history and keeping people in line. Things get gripy. Molly keeps everyone in hand. They hit the Louvre. Jeremy doesn’t know what it is. They take a picture in front of the Pyramid that is pivotal in the Da Vinci code. Molly tells people to make decisions and then decides for all.

She notes “At least its not raining”.
Cue the rain J. Well played, TLC, well played indeed.

Somehow they got split up and walk about in the rain. They head to the Eiffel Tower. There’s a line that was ALMOST as long as the line at Dragoncon to see Leonard Nimoy. Matt notes to Amy that he is going to see if he can work the system a little bit since the line is very long. Amy hay bales that she was ready to simply leave.

Matt hay bales how scary and dangerous lines are and we see him hitting the special services at the Tower. Matt notes the horrible way norm butt smells. I find myself wondering if people who proudly declare how their stink is unique and special and who often don’t appear to wash or change their undies very often really should be throwing that particular stone at the glass house of the stinky average heights.

Amy notes that she finds it awkward to use her disability but she does not hang back and the family line cuts.

Personal opinion - I am utterly certain that its not inherently more dangerous for little people to wait in lines. I also note that at no point did Matt say that standing in the line would be too painful. The only stated reason for the line cut was that they did not want to wait two hours.

Molly notes how cool the view was. Amy takes pictures. Matt comments on how he’s the man. The family heads off for a traditional French meal of hamburgers, French fries, and Coke. Matt prates how awesome it was. Jeremy makes a point at dinner how much easier it is to not travel with his parents. Classy.


Rap541 said...

For the record - I know its a pain, but I love seeing reviews with photos! Thanks Spirit! Sorry this was late!

Judy said...

Everything comes down to personal opinion. Mine differs from yours.

Matt didn't look wasted. He had jet lag. Why do people on trot out conspiracy theories when it involves Matt or Jeremy? Zach had jet lag. He slept. I don't recall seeing you or anyone else suggest that he was secretly drunk and "sleeping it off". Molly was sick. I didn't read anyone suggest that her sickness was brought on a drinking binge. However, Matt has jet lag and he is hungover? Seems like axe grinding, imo.

Jacob is an embarrassment to all kids. The second picture of him says it all. He is an ungrateful little spoiled brat who needs to be smacked and taught how to appreciate all the many blessings in his life.

All 12 year olds are not that immature. Shopping may not be their favorite, but there are kids who recognize they can't constantly be doing things they think are fun. He was 12. Not 6. Don't set the standards so low by excusing Jacob's behavior.

Jeremy and Zach were on a trip by themselves. They are old enough to plan activities they want to do. I've seen both of the older boys on family vacations. They looked at old churches. I believe they did that both in the Bahamas and in New Orleans. Zach was moody in New Orleans, but Jeremy was stellar as always.

Watching these episodes makes me realize how lucky Matt is to have Jeremy. You can even see it in the pictures. Look at the number of times that it is Jeremy who spends time with Matt. Sitting beside him, helping him with his scooter. When they split up, Jeremy goes with his dad.

I agree with your opinion about the Roloffs not wanting to wait in line. I was disappointed. You can see in the pictures of those lines that there were elderly people waiting. Some were seated on benches. There were mothers with babies in strollers. Shame on the Roloffs for taking advantage and thinking of themselves. I'm not naive. They are "stars". They take advantage of every perk they can to better themselves. However, I was disappointed they didn't show more moral character and wait their turn.

Rap541 said...

Ironically I meant wasted in the tired and sick sense.

" I've seen both of the older boys on family vacations. They looked at old churches. I believe they did that both in the Bahamas and in New Orleans. "

So Jeremy and Jake had identical experiences? Jeremy (who ddn't actually know what the Louvre was, and never once was seen in a jewelry shop and who proudly stated he'd not seen a muesuem) had an IDENTICAL experience to Jake's and all comparisons between a 12 year old and a 19year old are FAIR?

"When they split up, Jeremy goes with his dad."


I mean, clearly the fact that Jake was with his dad ate Eze and Paris is *COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS AND UNNOTEWORTHY AS JAKE ROLOFF HATES CHRIST* right? And hates his dad and is evil, as is your point, Judy?

Interesting how choosing to spend time with one's handicapped father is only Christlike when it's Jeremy


Ashley said...

Does anyone know what Zach was doing to Jacob when they were waiting for Matt to arrive?

Jacob looked unconscious sprawled across Zach's knee. Zach was pressing his fingers against Jacob's neck. Was he doing one of those submission holds?

Expressed said...

Great screen caps, Spirits. Nice!

Rap, I agree about the fake feeling obviously.

Judy said...

Rap, you have your opinion. I have mine.

Jacob does not support Matt the way Jeremy does. Based on what I see from those three, Jacob went with Jeremy and Matt because Jacob wants to be close to Jeremy. Jeremy is always the one person in the family that Matt can count on.

Who said Jeremy and Jacob had identical experiences. You kept pointing out throughout your review that Jeremy and Zach were not looking at jewelry or old churches. It is a valid point that they didn't because they were in charge. When they were not in charge, past vacations, Jeremy did look at old churches.

You set the bar very low for 12 year olds when you excuse Jacob's behavior.

Rap541 said...

Judy - I didn't realize I had to make this pointbut since you're not getting it, let me dumb it down.

Jeremy and Zach, when allowed to choose their vacation entertainment, did active things like play soccer, and go up cool mountain trams and hang around beer gardens and whores.

They did not willingly choose any sort of artistic activity. I can think of two things I felt were educational- the center of Europe thing and Dachau, and they both seemed anxious to leave.

Jake in contrast got no choice in what to do. He was hauled around churches and jewelry stores (and lets not kid ourselves, if he had shown any interest in either you'd be calling him a queer).

They didn't have identical experiences. I suspect if Jeremy had been required to do what Amy wanted, that we'd have a redo of the New Orleans trip. You know, where Jeremy was bored.

Comparing a 19 year old who gets to choose what he likes to a 12 year old forced to go window shopping with mom.... sorry, it's apples and oranges but you need to hate a child to buck up the Golden Boy so here we are with yet another "That 12 year old is scum for not acting better than his 19 year old brother" comment

I also enjoy knwing that you can read minds, Judy, and can say with certainty that Jake never chooses to be with his dad ever. Its apparently all about Jeremy. Makes me wonder when Molly starts to get railed on for not devoting herself to Jeremy.

Rap541 said...

Oh and Judy - I loved how Jeremy supported his dad by pointedly stating at the end of his Euro Adventure that it was a lot easier to travel without Dad

Dana said...

Jeremy did not say that. He said it's easier to travel with just himself and one other person than with 6 party. I'm not surprised that you're trying to make something out of his comment.

You totally missed Judy's point. Jeremy has been bored before. He's done things that hasn't been on the top of his list. He didn't act like petchulant child.

"Zach seems impressed. Jeremy is a bit meh in the hay bale"

You did not think Jeremy was excited?

Rap541 said...

Dana - since this was his first experience traveling without parents.... do you think he was refering to Zach?

Yes, I have seen Jeremy act petulant. He needs a playmate especially for him (Mueller) and when Mueller isn't on the trip, he's allowed to leave early (Rv Trip) and on the New Orleans and RV trip he was clearly bored. He can't go to a dwarf con without an average height buddy to entertain him and *whined* on his euro trip how he wanted Mueller there. Wow he was showing his NOT PETULANT behavior there, given a trip of a life time and bitching he had to spend it with his brother instead of his buddy.

No I dd not think he looked excited. Is my opinion wrong and unChristian? Am I being an UN CHRISTIAN HATER? Come on Dana - is my opinion wrong and I have NO RIGHT TO IT?

And btw - it is VERY noticble that you and Judy didn't have a thing to say on Expressed's first noticably negative review but were just *waiting* to run to bitch about mine.

Come on Dana - I would like to see you have the courage to review an episode instead of just bitching about mine. Do a recap "Dana's recap and opinion." And lets see what people think :)

I notice you Christian soldiers generally don't like to put yourselves on the line.

lucas said...

Thanks for the review Rap.

I've traveled with 12 year old boys (as a mom) and the last thing they want to be doing is shopping, tours, and museums. Most 12 year olds I know would have been jumping out of their skin after a long flight and organized tours. Jake was not being a brat, he was being 12, and for as much effort as everyone took to make sure Jeremy had an awesome time, its sad that a simple swim or running around took so long to arrange for Jake. Haters on Jake, seriously what is your problem? mean mean mean towards a child? wow

Dana, I'm looking forward to your review of the next episode.. Rap did a nice job.

Expressed said...

I would step aside for a week if someone else wants to fill my spot :) Maybe a week off will re-energize my Roloff love :)

Dana said...

lucas, truth be told, Jeremy has never acted as poorly as Jacob.

Jacob could be heard whining many times. "Can we go yet?" "I'm sick, I wanna leave." Give 12 years old some credit. A mature 12 year old would have been excited to swim and ride, yet they would have the decency and respect not to ruin their mother's and sister's time.

His behavior at the Vatican was autrocious. Amy is at fault for not punishing him for the disrespect, but his behavior was still the problem.

Rap, you cannot be serious? What are you watching? Jeremy is excited and appreciative of everything he's experiencing on this vacation and in life as a whole. Nothing about his behavior is petchulant or comparable to Jacob.

Jeremy was excited to be in Europe. He wanted a companion who shared his excitement. Instead Zach wanted to sleep. You can't compare that to Jake. It is perfectly reasonable for Jeremy to have wanted Mueller with him. I'm waiting for you to put some personal responsibility on Zach for the fact that Jeremy prefers Mueller company. Zach finally admitted on the last leg that he was trying to loosen up and have a good time. If he had a better attitude, perhaps Jeremy wouldn't have been wishing Mueller was with him instead.

I don't know if I can find time after the show to write a review. Do I need your permission to comment? I wasn't aware that you must write a full review of the show in order to post.

If I had time, I would not be opposed to it.

Rap541 said...

Dana I merely find it interesting that you don't have time to review... but do have time for these lengthy missives deriding my reviews :)

Seems odd you don't have a thing to say except in response to me.... You're awfully defensive considering your posting history clearly indicates you don't have anything to say unless you're responding to me. No cheerful agreement to Expressed, for example

"Jeremy was excited to be in Europe. He wanted a companion who shared his excitement. "

So he wasn't *complaining* when he complained he would have prefered Mueller there? Jeremy was blessing us with his pure gentle wisdom and not being petulant? I mean, he's been handed a free Euro trip and he's NOT COMPLAINING he would would have prefered Mueller be there.

Dana - Your kids. If one of your kids expressed on camera how he preferred his friends to his family,would you praise your son for being like Jeremy? Would you applaud your own children for preferring their friends to their blood?

this is a yes or no, Dana.

Would you HATE your child and verbally state your child was unChristian and bad, if your child was not emulating Jeremy?

Is Jeremy better than you? Come on Dana. You're a Christian. Is Jeremy a better Christian than you? Was he obeying the commandments drinking the beer and going on the whore tour? Thats how he showed his Christian home training - as soon as he could he ran to experiement and Zach, who was showing some home training, is run down by the Christian set for *actually being hesitant to immediately toss aside his values*. Jeremy was applauded for it! He's praised for not drinking as he drinks a beer. Praise Jesus! Lets suck down the suds and praise Jeremy for being adventurous in drinking a beer!

Dana - want your kids to experiement? Come on, Jeremy drank on camera, did youm hand your kids a beer and say "Jeremy does it so drink up!"?

Anonymous said...

thank you so much for the stills since I can't watch the show cuz I'm europe and it will take AGES for this season to come to us!

first yes it is simple to rent a car in europe, since they're 19 no problem :) they just need to be over 18 .
Hawaain pizza is not a typical dish for Germany. you can find it anywhere in EUROPE. it's a normal pizza but with pineapple and whatever.

I love this show but yeah you can see a lot of fake things happening and yeah they get lot of stuff, privileges cuz they have their show :)

Anonymous said...

I agree what everyone says about jacob being spoiled! it's true people. he should be grateful for what he has, and the opportunitties that come to his way! I wish I had the chances he has. hes so lucky but then he acts like 5 year old would act. grow up jacob! and jeremy. you not gonna like what I'm going to say but he's gay. please. watch him...mueller is his boyfriend lol! I'm gay but I'm not telling this just because I want him to be, but I can recognize a gay when I see it. in 10 I'll mistake 1 . maybe jeremy is that 1 but hmm I don't think so. zach sometimes looks like a unfun person if that word exists . he needs to loosen up . have fun like jeremy has!

JimW said...

Ashley, I believe Jacob was acting like the 4 year old that he is. He was bored waiting for Matt. He proceeded to sprawl across Zach and Molly seeking attention.

J. Sterling Ellison said...

I loved how Matt conveniently used his "disability" to cut in line at the Eiffel Tower. Upon seeing that line one of the first things he said was that he was going to try and "work the system". Way to be a role model, Matt! Fair treatment for all, right?

lucas said...

Were cameras filming Jer when he was 12? Thank goodness I haven't sold my soul to the devil for money. Spoiled you say... ? Multiple vehicles, trips, and and diplomas given as gifts.. laughable. Matt and Amy-good luck, Jacob is the least of their worries.

Kapper said...

So well put Lucas!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe the things that people are saying about a 12 year old! Ofcourse he was bored at the museum, he knew nothing about them! Maybe they should have taken some time and educated him a little bit about what he would be seeing and he would "appreciate" it more. I feel bad for Jacob, because in a few years he will probably regret his lack of enthusiasm when he realizes the importance of what he was experiencing. This trip was wasted on him because of his age. I would have wanted to swim in that pool too!
I can't believe that these people blame a Jacob for the relationship that he has with his father. Matt is the parent, and you rarely see him try to make an effort to spend time with his youngest son. He obviously prefers his beloved "Farmer". This could be the reason that Jacob acts out so much. It's the only way he can pry any attention away from his older siblings,Even if it is negative attention. He's a typical kid, lay off!!
Unlike Rap, I do think that Matt was drunk! That was no Jet Lag, or maybe a little, exemplified by the wine he was drinking. I have been around plenty of drunk people over the years and that guy was wasted. I wish I could go back and watch that part again, because I was buying the jet lag explanation, untill I saw the way he passed out in the van, and then the drive to Eze. I had to rewind to lunch and sure enough, there was the bottle of wine and his glass full. I'm sure that it would not take much for a person of his size to start feeling good.
I don't blame Jeremy for wishing that his friend was there. I would have been mad if I had gone all the way to Scotland(wasn't it?) and all he wanted to do was take a nap!! They have different interests. Zack probably would have been more comfortable with Molly and Jacob, too. I don't think that there is anything wrong with Jeremy saying that it was easier to travel without his family. When I was his age, I would have loved to travel with friends instead of my parents as well. That's just how kids are at that age! They yearn for independance. However, I am starting to draw a different opinion of Jeremy after reading about others' experiences with him in "real life". This does not offend me, though.
Finally, the whole mayors daughter-waitress thing in Germany was SOOOO set up! Just the way that Amy reacts when they tell her what happened is a dead giveaway (besides the fact that they just happened to get to go to a soccer practice the next day). If my kids came and told me that story, I would be less than thrilled with their lack of personal safety. Like someone said before, just the thought conjures up images from movies like Hostile or Taken. Stranger Danger, anyone?!