Monday, April 26, 2010

Guest Episode Roloff Review by Rap: Little People, Big World April 26

Our next guest episode reviewer is Rap541. All opinions and statements made belong solely to the person making them (Rap541)

===============

Written by Rap541


First episode.

So in theory this is all after the Euro Vacation, but in reality it had to have occurred before since the Roloffs went from Paris to Ireland for the World Dwarf Games.

Amy and Matt discuss the budget. Matt has a personal cook and driver? Really?

So Matt hay bales on the World Dwarf Games and he’s all about rebuilding the field. Zach notes the practice is two days long and feels dad is making it too difficult. There’s talk of adding turf. Why isn't Jeremy James Jesus at his father's side???

Matt is building a locker room with running water since porta potties are expensive. Matt notes how disregarding Amy makes his work faster since she’s all about the budget. He goes on and on how he is driven. He talks on the phone about the bids and cutting costs and its all “bare bones”. Basically he’s trying to make her be ok with the cost and then plans to spend more later. There’s a lot of laughter on how he isn’t going to regard her opinion and will do it without consulting her. Since you know, he’s the man.

The Roloffs eat “green stuff”. No Jeremy at the dinner table. Why isn't Jeremy James Jesus at his Father's side defending hiis imaginative ideas??? Amy hay bales about being reasonable about cost and how 18 grand for a locker room for a two day practice is kinda silly but she doesn’t protest a lot.

People building stuff while Matt supervisees. Why isn't Jeremy James Jesus there, blessing the build with his amazing construction skills??? A lack of a blatant "no" apparently means yes to Matt and Matt notes that he likes to get around Amy by just ignoring her views. Well, I am sure that helps the marriage. He notes that he has a ridiculous idea to build a Grand Canyon and has decided to do it since Amy isn’t paying much attention. Apparently digging trenches equals millions of years of geological work.

Matt debates bringing in sod since the lawn must be awesome. We get an endless scene where Matt hauls himself into a Bobcat. He moves sod. Why isn't Jeremy James Jesus at his father's side lovingly lifting his father and tending to his needs at the only Roloff who gives a damn about Matt???

Now Matt wants to build a hut… a hut that is surprisingly similar to the ones advertised on his website…. Amy notes Matt will spend money without consulting her since she’s just a wife. He tries to explain projects. She is bored and worried about money. Matt attempts to suggest he is concerned as well. He’s really into the huts.

Sod is rolled out by workers. Work is done by workers. Why isn't Jeremy James Jesus blessing this amazing creative project of his father's with his sainted wisdom andChrist-like caprenter skills???
Amy is taken for a tour by Matt and she notes he is all about Matt and Matthew’s kingdom. They look at a dirt trench. Amy isn’t terribly impressed. I have to admit, I wasn’t either and I hope this got some touch up from professionals. Matt is very impressed by the red soil. Amy notes it’s a dirt trench and not the Grand Canyon. Amy kinda mocks the idea. Matt hay bales how she’s a dumbass who doesn’t get his genius.

So more work crews. The huts are being built and Matt is all “its for the lp soccer team”! Matt notes that he is including Amy more, and then snots to the workers how he has cut her out of the decision process. Why isn't Jeremy James Jesus here at this father's side helping with this project???

Amy checks out the new soccer toilet. All the faucets are leaking. She calls some big guy, oh Camerino, who turns off the water. Where is Jeremy James Jesus with his mad plumbing skillz???

More sod is being laid. With workers. As an Arizonian, I wonder if they have three forms of id. An extensive drainage system is put in. Why isn't Jeremy James Jesus at his father's side giving his gentle Christ-like support to his incredible father that he adores???

Zach has no idea whether there is Astroturf or grass in Ireland. He is snitty about having to rake the lawn. Amy goes on about money and is concerned. Matt notes how they aren’t poor. He also notes how he was depressed and projects make him live and be happy. And not you know, the love and all.

So there’s a lawn, a locker and a dirt hole. Matt notes to Camerino how the kids don’t work. Jeremy appears for a moment a shovels. Thank Jesus! Jeremy James Jesus shovels dirt for three seconds and shows us all his incredible creative passion!!! Amy notes how the projects are mostly for Matt.

I see Jeremy’s slutskank undies. I am curious who in the Christian set will throw a hissy over Jeremy strutting like a Chippendales dancer with his boxer buttocks out and no shirt on….

==============================
Ep two

Kids playing soccer, muttering “beotch”. How delightfully appropriate for all viewers. Zach pretends that the “Grass Hogs” are the team that went to Ireland and not mostly Breakers. Really this episode was rather unpleasant about the whole fa├žade and the fact that its even suggested that the Grass Hogs and the Statesman are the same team is completely laughable.

Amy and Matt go out to eat. Matt asks Amy if she’s cool about his picking the team since she’s on the board of the DAAA. There’s various shots of Amy being sporty. She hay bales how she is cool and likes being on the board. That’s important for later.

There’s an issue with having 8 players versus 10, Matt hating the idea of 8 and Amy pointing out that its DAAA rules. She thinks it will be hurtful if they leave DAAA out. In fairness, this may be a cost concern.

There’s rock music as Marty Klebba arrives like a celeb. Marty is helping Zach pick out uniforms and they are “joining forces” aka the team going is mostly Breakers with Zach thrown in because his dad is doing the organizing and Matt is annoyed that Amy steps in and tries to be the coach. Matt goes on about the vetting process of the players. Matt is annoyed and hay bales about how Amy doesn’t know anything. Amy notes Matt has hardly any knowledge about soccer. There is an unpleasant argument.

Zach and Marty head to the printer with Matt. Marty notes how the marriage is going south and wonders if Zach needs a new dad. Zach notes how they argue. At the printers, Matt decides Marty and Zach know more about jerseys and then interrupts and basically makes the decisions. Kind of like Matt versus Molly with the castle…. It’s just easier to let Matt do as he pleases. Zach protests when Matt suggests a pumpkin be on the uniform. Matt mocks him as though he hasn’t been controlling the whole situation.

Matt voices over how the team needs sponsors. Zach notes things were easier when they didn’t have corporate sponsors. Matt goes on about corporate sponsors and he’s the hero negotiating sponsors and there’s issues with what DAAA wants and prefers versus what the sponsors want….

Look, it seems pretty obvious that Matt jumped in and made promises to sponsors that the DAAA didn’t want to be associated with.

Matt tells Amy that DAAA needs to decide what they want or else Matt will break away and take the team to Ireland himself as he is a man. Matt notes if Amy wasn’t on the board, he’d be kicking ass and declaring what he wants. Amy notes that its not as simple as just doing what you want when other athletes etc are involved.

Matt rants how he has spent too much time on this with the board. He basically tells the DAAA that he’s not negotiating with the uniforms. Matt has already made promises that DAAA didn’t know about. Matt’s assistant says quit. Matt decides to quit and be independent. Amy is annoyed and argues with Matt that its arrogant to use the DAAA. Amy does not agree with the route Matt has taken.

Matt rants on how DAAA is of Satan and they are hating dwarfs and just want no one to go to Ireland because they are haters who hate. Matt tells Amy they are independent now. Matt hates the petty rules and its too painful to deal with DAAA and sponsors because kissing ass to the sponsors is what’s important since no one can afford to go without sponsors. Amy notes Matt has basically trashed relationships with DAAA. Zach is worried about how this will impact his future in DAAA.

Side note - Zach is on the team. Marty is on the team. The Manuel twins are on the team. That’s four people who all have the means to fly to Ireland. Zach will even get a paycheck for being in an episode of the show. Maybe, instead of cheerfully blowing 18k on a locker room that will only be used for two days, that money could have been better spent, if there were genuinely kids who couldn’t go? I mean… aren’t these the people who talk on camera about their outdoor pee habits?

Amy decides to step down from DAAA’s board since she’s in a huge conflict of interest, coaching a team that is pointedly saying “eff you” to the DAAA. Amy tells Matt that she is resigning since it’s a huge assy thing. Matt says he doesn’t get it. Amy explains, and Matt asks if things could change and she notes there’s really no chance of that. She notes she can’t be on the board and send atheletes who aren’t DAAA and not be well… totally trashing her organization.

So Matt notes how he’s paying for it so he wants his way and screw any longterm consequences. He notes he will be blamed not Zach.

The family comes to dinner, minus Jeremy who seems to be bailing. Why isn't Jeremy James Jesus at this father's side showing the world how he continually stands by his father showing his incredible respect??? Zach notes Amy would still be on the board if it was not a huge broohaha. Matt notes he doesn’t believe there was any conflict of interest at all. Well, of course he thinks that. Amy seems kinda pissed in the hay bale and notes he still would have done as he planned. Matt hay bales indeed, he would have gone ahead regardless of Amy’s situation. He notes how he is helping people who wouldn’t get to go.

Yeah um…. Not buying whats being sold.

13 comments:

Carol said...

I’ve said it before, but Jeremy Roloff is truly the modern day Himbo.

I refuse to believe that the editors on this program are not clever enough to purposely be using him this way as a joke. The only thing they deemed worthy of showing in the entire hour was Jeremy marching down shirtless, bending over in tight jeans. No words of wisdom. No purpose. Just Jeremy showing up shirtless in tight jeans and boxer shorts.

He is LPBWs “pool boy”

Michelle said...

Poor Zach. Even Marty! Matt must control everything.

Jan said...

I agree with Amy. Matt needs to sit back and relax. It goes against his personality, but you can only have so much dirt and structures and buildings and attractions. Enjoy the beauty of the land.

Judy said...

Rap, was that really necessary? I get it. I am sure everyone does. You don't like Jeremy. You don't like that many people feel he is the Roloff who shows the most respect towards Matt. Must you act like a child throwing a tempter tantrum or a raving drunk lunatic?

Rap, Shadow, etc, I did not approve of Jacob's style in that episode last season.

I am still not fond of the boxers showing. However, as I said then, you cannot compare a fit 19 year old man dressing in a certain style and a 12 year old little boy?

Carol, Jeremy did have a purpose. He was working to help his dad. Zach was inside whining. Jacob is a lost cause when it comes to helping Matt. Jeremy stepped up. Again.

Brandon said...

"Jeremy stepped up. Again."

As the storyline demanded. hehe.

Anonymous said...

Agreed.
Just like the storyline plamned out.
I'm sick of their fake episodes and scripted words.
I wish they were actually more real, because personally I would find that alot more entertaining. And don't tell me I should stop watching then if I'm sick of it, because it still is entertaining but I feel they are doing a disservice to all their loyal fans that actually watch their show and keep the ratings decent.
If I could say one thing to the Roloffs, I'd say " Keep it real".

Rap541 said...

"Rap, was that really necessary? "

Considering the praise being lavished on Jeremy James for his proudly standing at Matt's shoulder, always helpful, and the only Roloff child who dares loves his father, yes, I now have an expectation of seeing that Christlike love and devotion.

Cindy - I actually have to agree with you, at least for these episodes.

Brandon - Interesting how pointing out how Jeremy isn't manfully devoted to his dad's every whim somehow means one is throwing a temper tantrum, eh?

Why am I *wrong* to expect Jeremy to be at his father's side, defending him, lovingly carrying him out of empathy for his handicap, and all around being the best Christian son? Judy? Why am I wrong to expect the behavior Jeremy is constantly lauded for? I don't understand.

" However, as I said then, you cannot compare a fit 19 year old man dressing in a certain style and a 12 year old little boy?"

Wait - so comparing a 12 year old to a 19 YEAR OLD ISN'T FAIR? I DON'T UNDERSTAND -I thought 12 year old Jake was expected to act exactly as 19 year old Jeremy or else be BAD AND ROTTEN as being 12 means he's a grown ass man.

"Jeremy did have a purpose. He was working to help his dad. Zach was inside whining. Jacob is a lost cause when it comes to helping Matt. Jeremy stepped up. Again. "

JEREMY JAMES JESUS SHOVELED FOR THIRTY SECONDS ON CAMERA AND THEREFORE IS THE ONLY ROLOFF CHILD WHO IS DECENT AS EDITING NEVER EVER COMES INTO PLAY FOR THE OTHER EVIL ROLOFF CHILDREN.

That was your point, Judy? The other Roloff kids weren't around because they hate Matt and only Jeremy - who gave his father a blessed 30 seconds - deserves to be loved?

Cindy - I actually have to agree with you, at least for these episodes.

Brandon - Interesting how pointing out how Jeremy isn't manfully devoted to his dad's every whim somehow means one is throwing a temper tantrum, eh?

Anonymous said...

I feel so bad for amy. all that work with the daaa and matt ruins it because it has to be once again what he wnats.

Matt seems to always be ignoring what his family says.

Oh to the person who showed the pills........ ever been a small person and not have issues to contend with and pain.? try it sometime and see how you make it. matt is no drug addict if that was the implication.

Anonymous said...

Jeremy is Jeremy James Jesus? or is that just sarcasm? lmao!

Kapper said...

I'm still LMAO @ "Jeremy James Jesus" , so aptly put!! Ok, I know this is beside the point but I just don't get where this kid/man/whatever is so gorgeous. He's just not all that...
And good point: If Matt could afford 18k for a stupid locker room, then why the hell not just fund the players who couldn't afford the Ireland trip?? Omg, this family is tripping all over themselves - they can't keep anything straight if their lives depended on it. Except Molly OF COURSE who is brilliant and does no wrong...yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah

lpbw537 said...

hahaha i caught the beotch thing also! By this time I'm surprised more bad words or other "inappropriate" things haven't slipped out onto the show with 4 teenagers plus friends on camera

Jane said...

The thing that is that has been a constant since the series started is how everyone let's Matt get his way about everything. I take Jacob out of this equation because of his age. He is too young to really know how to hold his ground without turning into a brat, or more of a brat.

However, the rest of the family are always being steamrolled over by Matt and he just wears them down until they give up. Jeremy may be somewhat of an exception to the rule because he seems to truly not care, so why should he push back. I realize it is hard for Amy to stop Matt going off on tangents, like building a soccer field/bath rooms for a two day practice. But she is also an enabler. If ever there was a project to absolutely refuse to let happen without a huge fight, it would have been that one. Spending that kind of money for a something that is used for 2 days is nothing more than Matt showing off.

She complains and argues with him, but ultimately gives in. His behavior with the DAAA was classic for Matt. He steamrolled over them and then justified it by bad mouthing them.

If I was understanding correctly, he got himself in the mess because he didn't check out the guidelines of DAAA before he contacted sponsors. I think that was on purpose. He has been too active in different organizations not to know they all have guidelines. He couldn't see the conflict of interest (note to professional/business/amateur associations: don't put Matt on your board) and didn't seem all that sorry that Amy had to step down. I wonder how the DAAA got their athletes to the games, because according to Matt his way was the only way the players could get to the games.

It appears he feels like he makes the money, he can spend it as he pleases. When you have a family, that is not true anymore. Any responsible parent will tell you that.

Kapper said...

Don't kid yourself Jane, Amy's just as much to blame...I didn't see her refuse the Mercedes that she so vehemently was against. As a matter of fact, I see her driving it all the time now.

The entire DAAA drama was just another thing that TLC probably threw in to create yet more tension.
NOTE TO TLC: We GET it: Amy hates Matt. Matt spends too much. Jacob is a brat. Molly is Einstein. Zachary has enormous chip on shoulder. Jeremy is the stud muffin. And wow, everyone loves soccer.
Ho hum, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz