Monday, May 17, 2010

Guest Episode Roloff Review by Rap541; Little People, Big World May 17th, 2010

Our next guest reviewer is Rap541. All opinions and statements made belong to the person making them (Rap).

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Written by Rap541


Noticed on a second watch.

The Statesmen jerseys do look a tad um… full of ads. Not quite PARTY CITY IS WHERE THE PARTY IS… but I totally know Lifelock was a sponsor. And Ikea. And something that has a Viking ship as the symbol.

Sometimes I wonder if Amy ever thinks of the twins as adults. If Jeremy - and this isn’t intended as a mock - is responsible enough to trot around Germany and drink beer on his own… why can’t he take his brother and sister to see the sites in Ireland if it really is “a long week” for the average height siblings to just hang at the games? Seems like that would have alleviated all the average height sibling boredom.

One of the basketball teams was USA/Germany….

Eddie has a rocking bod.

New episode.

Amy and Jake play ping pong in the game room. They have a game room! Amy notes how winning is everything as she plays ping pong. It’s cute.

So we have blurred out sponsors. Rockstar, yes, but from now on they are Blurred Beverage. Amy notes they gave her a bike to auction off and basically did a whole lot, and Blurred Beverage gets no advertising on the show. How lucky for them! I wonder why that was? There’s a series of shots of Amy falling on a minibike over and over. Zach hay bales that its cool Amy tries things.

Now we’re at the golf club. Lets call it “Blurred Club”. Since you know, that’s how sponsors should be handled. Amy talks smack to someone about playing golf and then decides to actually learn to play. There’s talk about how she needs stronger clubs. I think Amy just wants to make a play for Tiger. Insert lots of swinging.

Matt knows that Amy is distracted, so he can do things that he wants. He wants a shed so he can sort his giant piles of scrap wood littered in various piles. Ever wonder if the farm is edited to not show the piles of scrap that look like crap at a dumpsite? I wonder. Matt notes to the men that he needs to justify it all to Amy as she is a bitch.

Amy golfs and goes on about how she needs to play if she is going to have a charity thing for DAAA. She says “this game is a little more harder” and I don’t normally mock Amy’s grammar but really? How can I let THAT go?

You know what would be the perfect TLC show? Kate and Toddlers and Tiaras! I mean, I assume Kate would out scream the toddlers…

Amy goes on about the golf clubs and needing custom clubs because that’s not inexpensive at all or unreasonable. Amy hits balls and Jeremy watches and gives tips. Jeremy with much different hair hay bales how Amy golfs. One assumes this will be his episode insight.

Amy is off to snark on the woodshed project and is of course annoyed by not knowing about the project. Matt goes on and on about how incredibly necessary the wood shed is. Amy hay bales how Matt likes his projects. She asks questions about costs and notes that 3000 is a lot to spend on wood that has sat in crap piles on the farm for ten years. Matt snots to the workers how he won.

He hay bales how he has to hide things from Amy until he’s done. Because as a man, he’s entitled to do as he pleases without the wife getting input. It’s a long winded rant about balloons lifting the house and how he gave up that dream to please Amy. I think he was trying to be funny. Amy notes that there’s actually already a wood storage barn (which we have seen) and they don’t really need a wood shed. If, you know, the piles of wood were sorted and put IN the wood barn. Matt snarks to the workers how he’s a man and he’s gonna tell his woman to hesh on the topic.

Amy is back at Blurred Club and she is all “I am competing with someone!”. She shoots badly. I’m sorta waiting for her to fling a club and curse. Finally she putts one in. Ugh. If there’s anything more boring to watch than basketball, its beginners playing golf.

There’s a cement mixer for the shed. Matt notes that since Amy didn’t expressly forbid the woodshed build, he does it. He notes that he’s a better man than average heights because of his projects. That’s not arrogant. He drives Amy to the shed and claims the shed will be filled up. Amy notes that money just might be an issue. This is a pretty tired argument. I assume it was a slow day and they had to consult the storyline cheat sheet.

Amy goes on and on about golf. She just has to beat Laurie! She’s completely decked out in golf togs. They talk smack. They wager on spa treatments. There’s much ball hitting. I feel bad for the caddy, who seems annoyed. The par on the first hole was 3 and they were hitting 8s and 9s. God this just goes on and on and on…..I muse on how awesome Survivor was last night.

Amy hay bales how determined she is to win the spa treatment. Suddenly the editing changes and Amy’s not sucking any more. For added drama they are tied on the last hole and shot. Will it be sunk??? Commercial!

I ponder just what my neighbors are doing that I can hear it over the air conditioner. Bang bang bang!

Recap! They’re tied! Amy wants to win! SO BAD! AND….. ITS IN! Laurie notes in good sport fashion “That sucks!” Amy brags and brags.

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Ep 2

God, more golfing. Insert golf shots from the last episode. Amy’s raising money for DAAA despite being kicked off the board.

Amy cooks food and hay bales how she is hosting an event at the farm. People stop by and she notes that they are local businesspeople. Again its for DAAA and Bridge Meadows which is a local charity. She tells her tale to the potential sponsors at the zip line. Lots of DAAA shots. Some one hands her a check for the start, which is nice.

Overshot of the farm and the fleet of cars. Amy hay bales about her charity foundation. It seems to be a girl thing, with women everywhere at first and then time seems to jump around as things are happening and scenes occur. Marty and people from Deadliest Catch may come. Amy hay bales how she worries about money. She does not want the charity to be a loser of money.

Amy tells Matt that 500 people will be arriving to the farm. That’s a pretty big event. Matt wonders how that will happen. That’s positive, Matt. He hay bales how Amy wants to do a big project on her own. Amy notes that Matt was worried she couldn’t handle it. Yeah, that’s quite clear.

So it’s a day before and things seem remarkably organized. Zack mows grass. Scott is helping, Jake is helping. Matt says happy anniversary - and notes he didn’t hold it against her but here we are with Matt noting publicly that she forgot. Matt, its not like she went to Hawaii by herself because she needed a break from you on your birthday, you know.

Jeremy puts stuff out. Amy has planned a huge event. There’s a ton of event stuff. Jeremy and boyfriends are lifting things, Zach is running errands. Gayle? Seems to have a little bit of a breakdown but nothing too serious. Amy physically falls like where she could have hurt herself. Like, it looked like it hurt.

Now Amy has a headset to track her people. Interesting. I’m beginning to see how a project runs with well… some organization. She runs about but people seem pretty calm. Matt is patrolling the roads. He notes to the camera that he considers the farm a sanctuary and he doesn’t like the violation. Isn’t this the exact opposite of the first season where Matt just loved hosting big corporate events and Amy was annoyed at the crowds? He gets pretty touchy about his territory being violated. I think Matt doesn’t like it when other people have projects. Jeremy holds balloons.

Amy hay bales as she has her make up done that she wanted to prove she could do something big. Its kind of sweet. I also note that Amy’s idea of event planning seems very well planned and doesn’t involve any last minute moments of psychosis or giant project building.

Amy notes how worried she is. People register. Marty is there. Gayle seems totally fine. Amy gets a check donated and is very thankful. Someone from Top Chef is there. And guys from the Deadliest Catch - I’d ooh and ah more if I watched the show. Amy falls on the deck again. She does the glad handing routine well. The whole family seems to show up. Matt notes to the gets that the lawn is probably ruined by Amy’s handling of the tent. There’s a lot of people there. The auction starts. There’s a kid mini golf cart that is sold. There’s a 47k statue that sells for 5000 dollars. Amy notes how this stuff is just selling for way too little. Then Zach comes out to save the day by giving a talk.

Zach actually does a nice a job of explaining DAAA. I was impressed. And then the auction seems to pick up and stuff starts selling! Hurrah! The exciting hopeful music plays! Amy hay bales how they hoped they made enough to cover the costs.

Commercial. Next week the kids set the house on fire. Hurrah!

So the auction continues! Amy has no idea how much was made. Amy gives a nice thank you to the crowd and says thank you. Amy really does seem to glow here. Amy and Zach hug at the end.

29 comments:

Brandon said...

Shame on you Rap for not giving Jeremy props. He held those balloons better than anybody has ever held balloons before. He didn't pop them on the trees after being guided by the balloon people!

Shadow said...

Amy didn't "forget" anything. Ignoring something that's not important to you is not forgetting. When your spouse demonstrates that your feelings don't really matter to him, it's pretty easy to let something like a reminder that you're MARRIED to this person slip right on by. Matt can celebrate by himself in his new woodshed with a bottle of "Sprite." After all, he's the only one he really enjoys being with.

And Amy? Kudos to you for "ruining" Matt's sanctuary and "tearing up" the lawn. About time he got a little of his own tossed back at him. Sour grapes, anyone? Matt has a whole bunch.

Lynn said...

Lets not forget the important thing is that they did all this for charity. Good job Roloffs!

It is stressful when that many people gather for a function. They all did a good job. I saw Jeremy working hard for Amy.

Rap, that was a cheapshot at Amy's grammar. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone uses poor grammar or misprounances a word now and then even if some people don't admit it. It's petty to point out the mistakes of others.

Em said...

Rap, in fairness to Jeremy in Ireland, it looked to be a team trip. Amy went. Zach went. Bill went. Eric and Jeff Manuel went.

But.

oth, can you imagine Jeremy being the adult on a tourist trip with Molly and Jacob? Maybe it wouldn't be bad with Molly, but I don't think I would want to see Jeremy take Jacob somewhere alone.

*We're ignoring the obvious. Jeremy wouldn't be the adult in any of those situations. The producer and camera guys would be.

Laura said...

Zach floored me with his turn at public speaking at the auction.

He has come a long way. When he took the stage I though oh no, they would have been better to send Jeremy up there and have him speak about the DAAA! Not Zach! However he was good.

Zach handled himself with much more maturity in the TLC clip at the auction too. The one about the Portland Timbers prize. Maybe his comment about being around 13 year olds wasn't the most mature, but he did sound mature when he was speaking to the winner.

Jason said...

How much do you think Jeremy and his friends got paid to do some of the yard prep work? No way would they have done it without getting paid.

Diane said...

Thanks for the recaps Rap and Expressed. I went out last night and forgot to DVR. It doesn't sound like I missed too much.

corsica said...

Amy's grammar and speech are deplorable. These are not isolated incidents.

Joanne said...

I loved seeing Andy and Jonathan Hillstrand at the auction! Love them.
I felt bad for Amy with all the running and falling she was doing.

Doreen said...

I liked watching Amy golf. I golf that way too. It's embarrassing. It made me feel better to see I'm not the only one.

It's nice to see Amy out with her friends. I wish the show was more down to earth like that again. Friends stopping by for visits, that type of thing.

Greg said...

It was extremely odd that Rockstar became the blurred out beverage company. She introduced the motorcycle as "I organized a sponsor to donate an item for my auction, but never mentioned the company.

Very odd given all the product placement on the show.

Fifi said...

I think Zach is coming into his own. His speech was very good for a naturally introverted person. He looks more relaxed in the scenes where he is socializing with crowds of people, in the other auction clip and at the World Dwarf Games dinner.

Erin said...

Count me as impressed with Zach's speech too.

What has happened to Jeremy? He's barely in the show anymore. Sure everybody loves to hate him but it makes for good discussion fodder. People obviously like oogling him. I don't know why they put him on the back-burner.

Dana said...

Zach's speech was better than what I've come to expect from him, but I wouldn't get too carried away. Jeremy is a more natural and smoother speaker who speaks from the heart. Jeremy has given two of the best speeches on the show, at Mike's memorial and at his graduation.

Zach was nervous, but stayed focus and made his point. Personally I think that was Matt and Jeremy's influence rubbing off.

Since they were very young, Matt has been trying to push Zach to be more social and confident in front of people like Jeremy is. Zach had Jeremy's example. He's admitted that he relies on Jeremy in social situation. He must have learned something from their examples.

Some of the things in the episode were done to create a story, but they need to attempt to keep the the show interesting by having some kind of plot like a deadline or budget to meet.

Hopefully Amy gained some respect for Matt. She saw how hectic it is to be in charge. Matt is in his element.

Connie said...

Why was it a private auction? Am I they only one that thought about this last night? If the goal is to make money for charity, why didn't they put the items online and get the fans involved. The chances that there is one fan out there that might overpay for something the Roloffs are pitching is good.

The Roloffs could have sold more things of their own or that involved them. Having Zach as part of the Timbers game was a good idea.

I'm not a Jeremy fan, but I have a mind for marketing. Why didn't they auction of "A date with Jeremy" or something like that. I know there must be a few wealthy parents that would give their daughter a gift by shelling out a few thousand dollars at a charity auction for something like that.

Jocelynn said...

Connie, those are good ideas, but honestly I'm not sure how personally involved the Roloffs are in Amy's charity. I think they view it separately from their own money.

I'm not trying to be unfair, but it is their pattern. If they sold their own items, I think they would want to keep the money for themselves. Example. When they charage $300 for a tour of the farm, they don't give that to Amy's charity. A portion of Amy's and Matt's speaking fees are not donated to CoDA or the ARCF.

I believe Amy's way of giving is to organize all of this. To create it all and ask for donations. It's a separate entity from the Roloff product which is done for themselves.

BeckyM said...

It's not unusual for high-end charity events to do a private or "silent" auction. The thought process is you get your wealthy partners at an exclusive event, which depending on the charity might even charge for the entrance fee ticket, to insure big number buyers for the items.

Didn't watch it but from reading the recap, it sounds like it was Amy's charity production, separate from her family. Most likely attendees were there because they support the charity, not necessarily the Roloff family themselves so a "date with Jeremy" I don't think would have sold well (sounds like it was movers and shakers who had money; not young people).

Personally, the only reason I would date Jeremy would be to tell him off. No interest in paying money for that on this end :P

Carol said...

BeckyM - Excellent last paragraph :) I agree.

Although in trying to be totally objective (I think the Jer Bear is a Himbo and nothing more) it is possible they could make some coin of a "Win a Date with Jeremy" Prize (cringe!).

It sounded like the woman's motivation to bidding on the soccer prize was to take her teenage daughter and all her friends to meet Zach. If someone would pay a couple of grand so their daughter could meet Zach, I think there would be someone who would pony up for some one on one time with Jeremy.

I might think he is worthless as far as having any redeamable qualities that I respect in a person, but I can't deny that there are young people who are head over heals in love with him. Someone would give their child a birthday present by bidding on something like that.

Jen said...

I enjoyed the shorts Jeremy was wearing.

Kapper said...

Lordy what a boring episode! Who cares to watch someone trying to golf? I do think Amy did a good job organizing the charity event though. And no matter how irritating I find her, I hated seeing her fall. It really looked painful

Expressed said...

Jen, which ones? When he was helping set up? Those were his usual Faith Bible shorts that he always wears. I prefer the jean shorts he wore in the tlc college clip.

(Sorry Rap, but Jen posted her comment in your review! :)

Ashley said...

Kapper, agree about Amy falling. Some idiots already put Amy falling on YouTube to laugh about a dwarf falling.

What is wrong with some people??

I'm glad people aren't like that here.

Emma said...

Completely random, but I liked the World Dwarf Game episodes much better. And...Zach's teammate Adam Romano is extremely good looking!

Sarah said...

Emma, my friend knows Adam from Michigan and has partied with him. I saw a picture of Adam passed out. Funny. LOL!

And I agree. Adam is the best looking dwarf I've seen.

Expressed said...

We should put together a list of best looking guys ever seen on LPBW.

1. Jeremy
2. Scott
3. Adam

Disputes? Disagreements? :)

Abby said...

imo, troy is better looking than adam or zach.

Expressed said...

Rap, since your review has drifted into a "hot guys" topic (I didn't start it!), I'll comment on your review... :)

Eddie? Really? Eddie?

IMO, this is how The Statesmen ranks on looks alone

1. Adam
2. Troy
3. Zach
4. Alex
5. Bill
6. Marty
7. Eddie
8. Manuels (I can't tell them apart)

Expressed said...

I can't make a list ranking guys on their hotness without including Jeremy. This is how I'd rank the DBU

1.Jeremy
2.Jeremy
3.Jeremy (the emphasis means it's no contest!)
4. Scott
5. Brendon
6. Mueller
7. Dan
8. Bryan
9. Jake

Anonymous said...

I ♥ JEREMY