Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Amy Roloff interview about parenting

Amy Roloff did another interview, this time about parenting.

Some of the questions and answers:

What do you wish you had known about becoming a parent?

It’s great to be an at-home mom and be so involved, but I forgot about me during all that time. I always put myself last on the ladder, and there comes a point when you have to think about what you like and what you want, especially when your kids are out of the house. I wish I would’ve taken a bit more time establishing friendships and trying to figure out areas I really wanted to be involved in. Family always comes first, but forgetting about yourself isn’t a healthy thing, either.

Your son, Zachary, is a little person like you, while his twin, Jeremy, is average-sized. What’s been the hardest part of that situation?

Playing soccer. He works very hard to be the best player he can be on that field, because he knows he has to. He knows he has to work hard just to be the minimum or for people to think he can be on the team. It’s frustrating for him when he sees his brother. Sometimes he looks at average people like, “What are you complaining about? Put a little effort into it and you can have the world!” But he has to convince people who automatically assume he can’t do anything, which gets frustrating.

How does being on reality TV affect what goes on in your house?

Of course, it’s going to affect the dynamics and what’s happening in the family, like any other big event. But one area that is affected is discipline. Sometimes when you want to discipline your kid, you think, “I know what I’m doing, but are people going to get it when they watch the show?” But it’s about what’s best for our kids, so if necessary, sometimes I’ll ask to take five. What I need to explain to my kids is more important than what they get on tape.

TV may have also affected my relationship with Matt. We may not take as much time together, but once we realized that, we addressed it. One thing I do worry about the most is friendship. How are the kids going to have friends, and are those kids’ parents going to be okay with them being filmed? My philosophy has been that the TV follows us, we do not follow them, meaning we don’t stop our lives because we have a film crew in our lives.

You can read the full interview here:


Dana said...

Is Zach still complaining about Jeremy and soccer? I wish he would have matured and out grown thinking that Jeremy doesn't work hard.

After reading Amy's answer to the question about what she wish she had known about being a parent, I further understand why Matt feels Amy is out of balance right now. Being a mother should come first.

Cathelitou said...

I always love Amy. I understand what she said about taking time for herself. When you become a mom, you don't disapear. I think it's healthy to still have a personal life, like still have friends, take time for yourself. It's difficult when the kids are younger but now her kids are getting older (I know jacob is still young) but it doesn't mean she can't have time for yourself ans still have quality time with your kids.
I also understand what she mean with Zach and Jer. I will always be more easy for Jeremy but I think Zach should accept that but I'm sure it's not easy.

Shadow said...

Ah, Dana, we can always count on

mythoughtis said...


re-read the sentences, please. Amy says Zach gets frustrated about his brother and soccer. She doesn't say why. Then she goes on to discuss Zach's feelings toward average size people who have it easy and complain. I don't take that to mean Jeremy. If you read the next sentence, Amy goes on to indicate that Some people automatically assume Zach won't be good at something beause of his height.. No mention of Jeremy there either.

Why must you take every comment concerning Zach as an affront to Jeremy? Read the entire paragraph.

Dana said...

MT, I did read the interview. Amy was talking about Zach and his frustration with Jeremy.

"Playing soccer. He works very hard to be the best player he can be on that field, because he knows he has to. He knows he has to work hard just to be the minimum or for people to think he can be on the team. It’s frustrating for him when he sees his brother."

They have said this on the show. Don't you know what this means? It means Zach thinks Jeremy doesn't give a good effort and is frustrated because Zach feels if because he is dwarf he gives more of an effort and feels Jeremy is wasting his opportunity as average size.

That is obviously what Amy meant by her answer. Zach and Amy have both said this on the show a few seasons ago and it was very unfair and unkind of them to say such a thing.

Rap541 said...

Why isn't Zach allowed to be frustrated?

Jeremy has opportunity that Zach won't because of a genetic roll of the dice.

People continually note how much less Zach is than Jeremy. Dana, you do it yourself.

The reality is the Zach is completely inelgiable for a number of different lifestyles, not because he's unwilling to put in the effort (why Jeremy is not pursuing soccer) but because people do indeed look at him and assess his ability based solely on his dwarfism.

For someone who claims to hate the "pc" nature of the modern world, you seem to embrace it when it comes to running down Zach. So here's a little hard cold reality. Zach will always have to face hurdles in employment because of his dwarfism. Acting as though Zach and Jeremy are on an even playing field and Zach isn't as successful purely because he's just not as motivated as Jeremy, is really ridiculous.

Considering this show has been on a while, I think it says something about Zach's character, how rarely his frustration with being a dwarf shows.

Judy B said...

I agree with Dana. There is a disturbing tendency for people to blame Jeremy because he is average height and Zach is not.

I've never heard Matt be critical of his sister Ruth the way Zach has been towards Jeremy and apparently by Amy's comments, he must be that way off camera more often.

I can't remember Matt saying that Jeremy doesn't give effort. Matt is more positive than that. I understand the challenges Zach faces as a LP, but it's not fair to blame it on Jeremy by being frustrated with him.

Maggie said...

Dana, I know that even one of Jeremy's friends think it's frustrating that Jeremy never went farther with any of his soccer talent because he could have if he had worked harder.

Anonymous said...

"I've never heard Matt be critical of his sister Ruth "

I've never heard Matt speak his sister's name.

Rap541 said...

"There is a disturbing tendency for people to blame Jeremy because he is average height and Zach is not."

Who is blaming Jeremy for being average height?

JustSayin' said...

Dana and JudyB, you do know that Zach and Jeremy are twins, right? Twins (and siblings), despite their abilities or disabilities, always compare themselves to each other. It's not just because Zach is a dwarf that he thinks Jeremy wastes his opportunities. A lot of it is probably Zach thinking, "if I were in Jeremy's shoes, I wouldn't waste my talent and opportunities." If I recall correctly, in a few of the earlier episodes, Zach, Matt and Amy comment on how Zach has to put in a lot more effort to try to gain some respect, while Jeremy can get by on winging it.
In fact, one of the first couple of episodes of LPBW is of an indoor soccer game. Zach tries to stop a ball and just misses. Matt says something like, "if his legs were just 3 inches longer, he would have gotten it." Zach's voice over of the game includes him saying how he physically can't try to run all over the place, because he won't be able to keep up. Meanwhile Jeremy is running all over the place. I have at least two other show references regarding Jeremy squandering his soccer opportunities while Zach tries his hardest and still can't make it.
Twins are always going to compare themselves to each other. It happens a lot for the Roloffs, and not all of it is height-related. Zach sees how Jeremy wastes his gifts while most people won't even give him a chance. Speaking from experience: if you can't do something because of some kind of disability, but you love to do it, you try as hard as you can when you do get a chance. It really is frustrating to watch other people shrug off their abilities and talent when you've had to watch from the sidelines for a while.

Trucker said...

Neither Zach nor Jer-Ber utilize their opportunities equally. They are both lazy boys.

Rap541 said...

More importantly, this is a classic example of running Zach down for something he didn't actually do.

Amy was asked a question about Jeremy and Zach and dwarfism and what was the hardest thing for Zach, and *Amy* said playing soccer.

Dana then runs to say:

"Is Zach still complaining about Jeremy and soccer? I wish he would have matured and out grown thinking that Jeremy doesn't work hard."

In fact, *Zach* said nothing of the sort and of course gets slammed for being immature and accusing Jeremy of not working hard.

Judy runs to agree, and adds a whine on how put upon poor Jeremy is as people blame Jeremy for being average height.

Of course Judy provides no examples of anyone saying anything close to "Jeremy is a bad person for being average height while his twin is not".

And we're left with poor Jeremy the sad little victim... and Zach and random unnamed people, the big meanies....

When in fact... Zach hasn't recently said anything about Jeremy and soccer and was nicely supportive of Jeremy's playing ability when they saw that college coach.

Nice... tearing down the "not-Jeremy" Roloffs to make Jer-Bear the hero again.

Shadow said...

Rap - Which is why I just laugh now when I see Dana's posts. I know exactly what she'll say for any given situation. Judy and Sheri as well,

Dana said...

Shadow, are you more irritable than usual? Is that because Roloff pumpkin season isn't far away? You're one of the jealous neighbors. It must make you extra grumpy.

Mr or Mrs. Arvitt? Tired of Matt kicking your butt so you have to resort to posting anonymously to Roloff blogs?

Dana said...

Rap, you should work on your reading comprehension skills if you're determined to continue to post.

Amy said "It’s frustrating for him when he sees his brother."

She did not speak in past tense. She did not say Zach used to get frustrated in grade 9 watching his brother play soccer. We know what Zach's feelings were. He said them on the show.

If Zach realized he was wrong, then Amy should not be bringing it up again.

It is blaming Jeremy for being averaged sized. He doesn't have to say "I'm blaming Jeremy for being averaged size" for that to be what the comment meant. He is like an armchair sports fan sitting back and saying that the professional is not giving effort and that he would be better if he was playing in the same situation.

baxter said...

Notice to Dana: There's nothing wrong with Rap's reading comprehension. Yours, however, leaves MUCH to be desired.

BTW, isn't it time for you to go out and spit on and kick some poor veteran with Parkinson's Disease?

Rap541 said...

Dana - so when Amy says things about her boys, she always speaks the truth?

Thats your point right - Amy said it, Amy NEVER lies about her kids, so therefore you are correct in *assuming* Zach still has issues and Amy wasn't just... giving the same answer she always gives to this particular question?

Shadow - I know, Jeremy could smoke pot and Dana would find a way to say its good (I rather enjoyed the whole arguement about how Jeremy was open to new things when he was looking at titties and boozing in Amsterdam) but much like tay's "lets call Zach a suck for ruining the spinoff plans that never actually happened but he *woulda* been a suck so its fair to say Zach ruined an opportunity for Jeremy even tho it never happened", I'm just not letting slide.

There's enough legit reasons to critize Zach, I personally don't have a whole lotta liking for him at all, but he's being blamed for something that Amy said and since Amy's comments aren't usually considered holy writ, I don't think its fair.

Baxter - thanks for seeing my point. I am still waiting for examples of people blaming Jeremy for being average height while Zach is not.

David said...

Rap, I usually agree with you, but don't this time. I don't agree with Dana either. I think that is how Zach feels, but he has good reason to feel that way.

If Zach was able to speak, something that apparently he's not permitted to do or is unwilling because they have a phony image to uphold, if he was asked if he is frustated with Jeremy over the effort he put into soccer, do you honestly think he would say no? I think he would say yes.

Amy's point was a good one. Zach lives and breathes soccer. He does need to give more effort to play. Jeremy doesn't put the effort into it when it crosses the line into not being fun. Zach thinks "Man, if I could run like Jeremy, I wouldn't float around, I would work out". So he gets frustrated that Jeremy doesn't work or prepare and eventually floundered any future in soccer that he might have had if he had been willing to put some effort into it.

Rap541 said...

David - I think the issue is whether Zach immaturely blames Jeremy for his lack of soccer success *now*. I am absolutely certain he had resentment as a child... but in the last few years he's been supportive of Jeremy in soccer.

I think he certainly is still frustrated for himself... but do we have any current examples of Zach running Jeremy down for not working hard at soccer and blowing opportunities?

No - most likely because Jeremy has moved past soccer anyway (he was never a contender for a pro career to begin with) and Zach gets it. Regardless - I think Amy's answer is the same answer she's given for years, because its easy. And that is why Zach is being called an immature whining brat - not over something he's done, but over something his mother said that has no corroborating recent evidence. The fact that we don't have constant montagees of Zach whining over how unfair it is just might be because Zach *has matured* a little...

I mean, I agree, thats hard to believe, but it's not impossible.

David said...

Rap, I don't think Zach is immature if he still feels frustration that Jeremy didn't put more effort into it.

Rap541 said...

Neither do I - but I would consider him immature if he was actually blaming Jeremy for being average height, etc etc etc.

However, he's NOT doing that - at least no one is citing any recent examples, and that's why I have a problem with Dana running Zach down in public for being immature and whining.

One sign of maturity is knowing something is unfair and can't be changed(being a dwarf with a twin average height brother) and not complaining out loud about it.

I'm happy to hear or see evidence Zach has done so recently but until then, I think its unfair for Zach to villified over vague comments made by his mother.

Shadow said...

Ah, Rap, you know I got your back! I'm with you, but I just HAVE to laugh whenever I see one of Dana's posts. I can write them before she does...

Doesn't stop me from commenting, either, for the same reasons you give, but at the same time, she is SOOO predictably silly and illogical that the grin just happens...

Rap541 said...

I hear ya. Itz like we playcousins, Shadow ;)

Hey, I asked all the fairies at Dragon con if they knew ya. Then I got escorted out for being a nuisance :D (kidding)