Written by Rap541
Matt feeds his Hollywood dreams and organizes a local cast and crew - including Jeremy - and attempts to make a movie about a spooky pumpkin farm."
So Matt wants to outdo "Manos - The Hands of Fate"? I really *pray* he airs this, I really do. :) I mean, wow, this doesn't sound self indulgent in the slightest. I think my biggest question is whether the movie was completed, how much money Matt blew on this particular project, and how, in Matt's mind, this film will somehow help the farm?
So we star with Matt screaming lights camera action! Apparently one of Matt’s lifelong dreams is to make a slasher film. About a pumpkin farmer. Who kills his customers and uses their bodies to fertilize giant pumpkins. We see someone being filmed as the killer at night.
Not exactly “Ben-Hur”, huh?
Flashback? Edward a local filmmaker comes in. Matt explains the story. A pumpkin farmer growing giant pumpkins and no one knows how and people are mystified. Eh, ok.(I actually pieced together the plot as the show progressed but the story wasn’t actually outlined.)Matt notes he has complete control over the farm, and will film on the farm, and during pumpkin season no less. Of course. That’s convenient.
FYI - TLC? Lil hint here, for your next show since LPBW is already done - if you genuinely want to suggest that a particular time of year is super busy and your star needs to be super attentive to his business during that time - perhaps it’s not wise to show the star pretty much ignoring his business to do a fun play time project.
Apparently there’s a script and now there’s a crew, and a very tight budget. They’re only shooting for two days and Matt’s all “lets go now!”. I bet the local filmmaker would tell a much different tale about this film project.
ONE DAY before filming! There’s a storm coming! Not only will Matt lose money in pumpkin sales but also in filming! I’d care more if we weren’t watching money being thrown down a well. So we have the local acting talent show up and hanging in the garage. Caryn yells at people to get with her to film stuff in the patch. People get yelled at by film crew for wandering in the patch. Caryn is pissed. Matt had no idea. Matt on the Mule notes how chaosy (yeah, that’s apparently a word) it is. Matt notes that the scene being filmed is awesome. He pretty much yells through the whole thing. (Let it not be said I know nothing about filming. I’m snarking on his bossy ways, not that he’s speaking…)
So now its night, and raining. Matt is yelling about where to film. Zach notes that it’s a train wreck. They’re filming a tow truck scene. The music btw in this episode is hilarious. Matt notes how totally sore he is and how he is breaking down. So of course the tow truck doesn’t start! DUNDUNDUN!
Commercial! Sister Wives! American Chopper! More Duggars! Is Michelle knocked up yet? Because really, 19 is such an awkward number.
So now we’re still fixing the truck, and Matt is “fading fast”. So the scene is filmed. But Matt is considering not continuing! It’s a crisis! He’s out of money! Now more filming! There’s only one take! Farmer Joe the Murderer does look evil.
I’m curious if anyone has considered the moral ramifications a Christian making a movie with an obviously Satanic theme… I mean we didn’t’ get a lot of the plot but really, murder with a shovel? The golden boy used as fertilizer for breeding giant, probably evil pumpkins?
ALL THE CASH REGISTERS ARE DOWN! Caryn calls Matt, Matt refuses to give a damn and seems to ignore the crisis. That certainly is one way to run a farm business. Jeremy meanwhile is looking for something suitable to wear as the “arrogant guy“. Amy seems annoyed that Matt’s basically playing during pumpkin season. Molly thinks Matt got in over his head. She also seems annoyed by the project. Now we have a series of scenes of Matt explaining to Jeremy how to act arrogant. As I watch this, I realize how unpleasant it must be to work for Matt.
Filming Jer in hot red pants…. I hope he’s not planning a career in acting. Oh, he’s not terrible, just pretty much exactly what he is, a twenty something guy doing a goofy home movie and hamming it up.
Meanwhile the paying customers are unable to park. Matt notes he’s still filming, but the line is backed up to the freeway. He chooses to film the movie since you know… its just his livelihood and all.
Really, if they have been having the huge crowds for how many years, it really does say something about the general competence of the farm staff that *every year* parking is an issue.
So we’re still in parking hell. Apparently they’ve shut the gates and they’re allowing walk ins. I don’t really see how that solves the problem. So more of the creepy farmer and Jeremy in hotpants. Jeremy hay bales how Matt was probably disappointed in how the movie was going. Jeremy is then hit in the head repeatedly with a shovel by the creepy farmer and then buried. Heh Matt called Jeremy “Jacob”. Matt hay bales how he may not have enough footage!
MONTHS LATER, Matt has the boys wander in. Jeremy is all fuzzy chinned. They watch “the pumpkin movie”. I swear to god the music for this episode is utterly hilarious. I mean, the whole cheesy horror thing is awesome. And was that a wiff of “Torgo’s Theme”?
The farmer has a gun? Matt is screening the movie. Jeremy’s pants are so bright…. I’m blinded by his red buttocks. In fairness to Jeremy, he notes that his acting talent was not right for the movie. I am kinda curious how long it actually runs. Jeremy notes that the ending was good because the beginning set up the ending. Matt drones on and one about turning his vision into reality.
This was an interesting peek into Matt’s psyche.