Written by Rap541
Matt pulls off a minor logistical miracle transporting an oversized replica of Noah's Ark to the farm. Amy is dead-set against it, but when a government official trespasses to investigate the giant attraction, she defends the project and her property.
So to be clear, Matt didn't make the Ark, and Amy hates the idea which means I easily predict that we'll get several scenes where Matt whines and moans about how awesome his idea is and how Amy needs to get with his mindset. I also predict that that the government official aspect will be relatively minor.
Episode begins: Noah’s Ark
So Matt is at Mt. Rainer and he’s all about a free Noah’s Ark. He checks it out because it’s a dream to make Noah’s ark. In fairness, the ark is pre made and not really an ark but a large boat. Matt is impressed by the ark but is perplexed by how to move it. Apparently this may entail destroying the barn the ark is in. Matt of course is all yeah and of course Amy isn’t in the know.
Matt tells Amy about the Ark. Amy asks on price and permits and hay bales how Matt rarely thinks about the financial end. Matt notes how its free and Amy is being dumb because its free. Because being free trumps all. Point - just because it’s free, that doesn’t make it a good thing. Amy wants to kill the plan. Matt says if Amy says she wants it killed, he will. She says “kill it.” Matt whines how the Ark is over and how he’s not laying a guilt trip. I respectfully point out how obvious it is that Amy being in disagreement will never deter Matt.
Amy hay bales about the ark. She’s trying to work with Matt and Matt is all passive aggressive about it. Amy notes that Matt doesn’t settle for the first no. Matt hay bales how right he was to wear her down.
So Matt gets his way, as the child he is, and he’s all about tearing down the barn so it won’t destroy the ark. Personally I would have liked more description as to why people built an ark. I mean, its not as though Matt himself built the ark, he’s just taking it. Why did these people go to the bother of building an ark? That is a story. The barn collapsed on the ark as Zach and Jeremy watch. Matt hay bales how awesome it was and it is all “mission accomplished!” He tells Amy how he plans to have a petting zoo. Amy wants details and Amy is both annoyed and amused and isn’t interested in caring for actual live animals. Jeremy thinks caring for animals is hot. I wonder if he understands the work involved.
Jake described the idea of moving the ark for the cameras. He seems into it. There’s construction shots and people with knowledge get things rigged so Matt can look like he helped and is the man. Now the ark is on the trailer. Its apparently super dangerous and Matt delights in describing how *serious* it all is. Point - it’s a boat being moved. Its not really that amazing.
I especially love the ominous music and Matt describing how the boat is art and precious. Insert lots of scenes of Matt watching as people work. This is actually a rather boring episode.
So now a county guy or something is outside the gate. Or inside. The editing is all over the place here because we start with the government guy outside the fence and then he’s leaving (and insisting he was told to leave) And Amy tells him to leave and he notes he was told to leave. Amy demands his camera. She declares he is trespassing, he insists he was told by her to leave. Amy hay bales how evil it was. More ominous music as Amy notes “he’s taking pictures” and he’s refusing to give her the camera. The government guy refuses to talk to her and insists on talking to her man as she is a mere wife. Amy freaks out and is super angry and gets into his car.
Woo! Amy as a female needs to learn that Matt is the man and she has no rights as she has a *vagina*. Right? I mean, her entire reasoning here is that she’s married to Matt but it’s *Matt’s land* right? Amy has no rights as a wife, right? Matt is the man and the *male* government inspector is completely within his rights to want to speak to Matt the Man and since Amy is just a *female* and a *wife* - as I have been told again and again by Matt fans, she has NO RIGHT to speak for Matt. Right?
Come on folks, before we get all “Yay! Amy finally takes Matt’s side”, we do need to remember that a significant subset of the fandom really believes Amy as a wife should shut her mouth when a man speaks. I seriously ask that portion of fandom - shouldn’t Amy have deferred to her man as she has no rights as a wife to speak for Matt at any time? After all, she’s just a wife, aka Matt’s first child? I personally don’t agree with this view but so many of the Matt fans tell me how Amy as a wife is not an equal partner, I assume they applaud the government man “showing her her place as a wife, as someone who has no rights to her man’s property”, right? I mean… As a wife , Amy has no rights to the farm under the law and the government man was completely responsible and right to treat her as a child with no say?
Amy whines about people trespassing as she writhes on the inspector’s lap in his car. The inspector notes Matt is the Man. Amy notes that doesn’t matter. The Sheriff wanders out. The Sheriff notes its not illegal for a county inspector to inspect without a warning. Amy disagrees. Matt gets all “lets document!” and really um…. Lets all calm down. Here’s the reality - Matt has a history of doing dumb stuff on the farm. Ultimately the Ark is yet another piece of yard art that the public isn’t even allowed to touch.
Matt is pleased that Amy freaked out for him because he’s always right. Matt shows off the Ark. Matt gives a nonsensical explanation about how its worth it. Amy notes that it looks like crap. Matt gets all “OMIGOD IT’S A DREAM!! I AM A DREAMER BLESS ME AND PRAISE ME!”.