Monday, November 1, 2010

Guest Episode Roloff Review by Rap541: Little People, Big World Nov 1

The guest reviewer is Rap541. All opinions and statements belong to Rap.
Written by Rap541

Pre show
Little People, Big World

Turf War
Amy and Matt butt heads over the spot where she's planting her garden, and a "turf war" ensues. Meanwhile, Matt believes bees are the keys to the success of this season's pumpkin crop.

Yet another argument between Matt and Amy? And don't the bees have enough problems? Maybe we'll find out why they are all disappearing?

Show begins:

So wow, the commercials are getting increasingly weird for LPBW. I mean damn, they’re not doing a tv show, they aren’t dying. Is it really that shocking?

So a Mercedes rolls up and Amy is annoyed that there’s toys and bikes and crap in their giant garage. Now Matt throws a fit over her car blocking his car and Matt makes it clear that his spot is his spot! He describes in detail how he and Amy each have two bays for their cars, and Zach has a bay, Molly has a bay, and Jeremy has a bay and a half. And yet everyone is bickering over where they can park. Maybe Matt should build another garage! Or hey, maybe they should reconsider how many cars they really need to have.

Amy and Molly are planning a garden and Amy voices over how this isn’t her first attempt at growing stuff. Amy sees dirt on her garden and calls Matt. Matt is meanwhile planning to make some sort of giant chicken coop and Amy’s garden is in the perfect spot for the giant coop. Amy notes that he’s just doing it to bedevil her. He makes a lengthy argument on how having a fantastic chicken coop is important.

Amy proceeds to dig for plants and seems to be planting in a different area near Dudley’s coop anyway. Oh wait, that’s probably footage from several years ago.

Matt throws a hissy for one little shelf in the fridge. Molly notes on the hay bale that everyone in the family is territorial at times and gets crazy. Hmm I wonder if that’s the episode theme! Matt wants a special spot for his salami. I could so say something. I mean… where could Matt *put his salami???* Instead I note how the fridge is filled with wine. Matt tells Amy he’s often disappointed and therefore his salami is gone. Matt whines and literally shouts “its not fair!” and stomps out like a toddler.

Honestly, did he really just pitch a fit over how an area of the refrigerator should always be only used for his personal salami? Here’s a thought, Matt. Spend 100 bucks and put a cube fridge in your office.

Amy recruits Molly to paint signs, hay baling to the audience that Matt will concede the fight if Molly is working on *her* project. Well, that’s not coldly calculated now is it? Amy is a tad psycho on this topic. Meanwhile there’s an actual sign saying “Matt Roloff Way”, so maybe she does have a point. Matt whines on the hay bales how he wants his way over the chicken coop.

Jeremy notes that its ridiculous and suspicious that Matt wants to put the play center in Amy’s garden. That Jeremy, always proud to stand behind Matt, manfully agreeing with Matt’s every whim! Matt delights in the idea of violating Amy’s space. Jeremy notes it’s a bad idea but basically takes the “Shut up and don‘t piss off the golden daddy” path.

Now Amy checks on the plants and spots the play set in her garden. She is annoyed. And really, I think she has a point here. It’s not a chicken coop at all. It’s clearly a play set for children and Matt’s putting it there entirely to tick her off… he even says so. And then lets the play sit in the garden for months just to make the point that it is his territory and Amy has no say. Meanwhile the chicken coop remains completely unbuilt, no doubt because Matt has important forts to build.

Meanwhile the secondary plot begins. Matt and Jeremy have bought bee equipment and need bees. So like most reasonable people, they have a team of specialists to come out and set everything up for them. Jeremy thinks the bee suit looks adorable and cute on little people. Haven’t people been yelled at for that? Commenting that little people look cute? I mean, I’m just saying….

So they put the bees on the hill and play with the bees. Matt notes how he is like a bee and alludes to his dispute with Amy. Yeah not really a great comparison there, Matt. All the males bees pretty much exist only to mate the queen and then are shoved out of the hive by the females when the winter comes. In other words, Amy is the queen and Matt really should simply service her and hesh. I mean, if you’re actually going to make the bee comparison to their relationship.

Meanwhile back at the garden, months have passed and the playset coop is still in the garden. Matt says his fingers have been chopped off and continually says how helpful he thought it was of him to do something with the dirt. He and Amy argue about it. Amy notes that the farm actually had dirt before Matt ordered more dirt. Amy hay bales how all she wants a small patch of dirt. Matt condescends to Amy how *he* created the dirt and ordered it so he’s the one who did it and her garden wouldn‘t exist without his efforts. In his office he mutters how tired he is of being right and fighting battles over such little things.

I find myself noting that a play set is in no way a chicken coop. Also didn’t all the chickens die? Because a coyote got them or something? Do the Roloffs really need chickens for farming ambience?

So Matt and Camerino go to the garden and Matt decides to pull the play set out of the already growing garden. Matt hay bales how he nobly gave up for the good of the marriage as he usually wins anyway. I wonder how taking heavy equipment into the already growing garden and removing the play set wasn’t a passive aggressive attempt to wreck the garden.

Matt and Jeremy suit up for bees while the bee guy wears no safety equipment. That’s quite hilarious. They get honey. Jeremy notes how he found eating the honey super rewarding and we’re treated to Jeremy grabbing his crotch after putting his fingers in the mouth and licking them. And it gets worse.

Amy holds up a giant zucchini and says “What can I do with this?” Really, between the salami, the zucchini and the touching, we’ve had a whole lotta amusing allusions made for a family show. And this is before the bee sting stripping.

Then Amy is stung by a bee! She runs off in agony… well, sorta laughing actually. I laughed.

Amy calls for Jake. Amy totally seems freaked and also amused. Jake laughs hysterically at her and runs off. Amy is now in the kitchen tending her wounds with her pants off. Jeremy wanders in with a shaved head and asks the camera man what she’s doing. He states that he’s embarrassed. Amy notes that she hates the garden. I find myself pointing out that Jeremy wasn’t so embarrassed when he was all but dancing with glee at the idea of strolling Amsterdam’s red light district.

Jeremy says “are all the roloffs home” (this is actually part of the dramatic commercial clips), and his hair is noticeably longer despite Amy stating she was stung by the bee just hours earlier. Now the whole family heads outside to have dinner. Amy hay bales how she picked and chose and her mountain was the garden. Ok. Not your sons doing well in school or you and the husband being on board with discipline as a team… but a summer garden. Matt hay bales how he’s right as always. Matt and Jeremy praise themselves for the honey that *they made*. I wonder how the bees feel about that. Eh, they are probably already mating with the Africanized bees. Too bad we won’t see the aftermath of that!


DJ said...

"Jeremy notes how he found eating the honey super rewarding and we’re treated to Jeremy grabbing his crotch after putting his fingers in the mouth and licking them"

lol. This sounds like Jeremy is auditioning for another type of career. ;)

Melissa said...

What was so dramatic about Jeremy saying all the Roloffs are home? I don't know why they included that in their dramatic commercial.

tashapork said...

I noticed the abundance of wine too, it doesn't mean anything necessarily my mom uses several kinds for cooking, I am surprised though with as much money as they have that they don't get one of those little wine refridgerators and maybe a little refridgerator for Matt in his office. I felt bad for Amy when she got stung. I am glad she didn't have an allergy.

Shadow said...

I think I am really glad I missed this episode.

Kapper said...

Omg Rap, laughing my butt off over your review...I'm a little jealous that Amy can grow a garden like that, it looked amazing. And yes, I do think Matt was being passive/aggressive with the chicken coop. Well, I guess just plain aggressive! He reminds me of my husband with his projects, except the difference is that Matt actually finishes his. Or tries to.
The temper tantrum over the refrigerator space was entertaining to say the least. I thought the exact same thing you did: Buy a freaking compact fridge and put it in your office!

Ashley said...

Kapper and Rap, I think the frige shelf argument was just for tv.

Both the twins and Molly (probably Jacob too) have mini fridges in their rooms. Matt probably does too.

BeckyM said...

Update on Honeybees: they think it might be due to a virus and a fungus

Rap541 said...

Shadow - honestly the multiple phallic references made the show, but it was otherwise a typical Matt/Amy fight.

Kapper - what got me was that he kept refering to it as the chicken coop project but it so obviously was not a chicken coop. And if that's how Matt's logic works, "I want to build a massive chicken coop so the first step is to use a piece of machinory to move a children's playset to the vicinity and then let it sit there for several months" then I can see why the projects tend to not be finished.

Ashley - I certainly think it was a stupid argument, but Matt appeared to throw a geniune fit complete with a lot of excessive baggage about how all he wanted was this one tiny thing!

If it was a geniune issue - and we've actually seen Matt have this fit before, that he specifically wants a shelf in the fridge where only his special food items can go, then really, buy a private fridge.

If its just a staged arguemnt for the camera.... yeah well, thats sure real and raw, now isn't it?

Mike P. said...

Roloff's juvenility got a full display last night.

Apparently, if you're four feet tall, you're entitled to act like a toddler--the age that height suggests. Does Roloff throw tantrums in the grocery store?

Shoot this show in the head and move on. There's nothing to see here anymore.

Susan said...

Matt and Amy's faulty parenting was on display last night, right from the opening scene.

Instead of finding an alternative parking spot, then arguing about it, Amy should have honked the horn until the kids came down and cleared their bikes themselves.

What did the kids learn? Nothing as usual. They get their way, mom and dad will fight each other.

Jenson said...

Matt admitted to Jeremy he was being a jerk "to show Amy who was boss.

He was being a jerk. But I suspect it was a designed plot.

What has happened to this show? I used to watch the show and think I knew a little bit more about the lives of the Roloffs. Now it's stupid plots thought up by producers brainstorming ideas

Berrybunch said...

I noticed that they have a whole shelf devoted to wine, but Matt can't have his own little space in the fridge? I actually felt sorry for Amy when no one would help her, she could have still had the stinger in her skin, but I thought honeybees stung only once? Or maybe it was all phony, just look at Jeremy's magical fast-growing hair!