Monday, November 8, 2010

Guest Episode Roloff Review By Rap541 - LPBW Nov 8

The guest reviewer is Rap541. All opinions and statements belong to Rap.

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Written by Rap541

Episode starts:

So this is about dating? Meh.

So a soccer game - a Timbers soccer game and the girls theoretically won a game with just Zach as a host at one of Amy’s charity events. Amy gives Zach tips on scoring. Zach hay bales on how he finds speaking to people in a social setting to be pointless. This is complete with Zach scowling on the hay bale.

Zach at the soccer game, and Jeremy too, which makes me strongly suspect that the actual prize was “Timbers soccer with the twins” and Amy tells Zach to chat people up. Jeremy hay bales how Zach sucks. Both are wearing special jerseys, because really, this is about the only way the Timbers get their product placement. Amy hay bales how its all about Zach’s dwarfism. I don’t disagree although if this event was genuinely “win a soccer game with *Zach*“ then perhaps its time Jeremy stayed home and let Zach flail about on his own. I must say, its pretty clear the girls are making eyes at Jeremy, not Zach, and duh, lets not ignore the elephant in the room. Zach’s a dwarf and people pick first on appearance.

Amy meanwhile interrogates Molly on who she’s dating. It’s Nathan! Or is it? Molly is horrified and hay bales how he’s nice but…. Her friend rats her out. Amy asks her if she has been asked to “do anything”. Amy is super pleased Molly isn’t a lesbian. I find myself wondering why Amy isn’t inviting males roughly the same age to head on up to Molly’s bedroom while she is sleeping and have the boys wake her up as a way to *teach her to mingle*. I mean, Matt did that to Zach and Zach is clearly more confident and open now. Oh wait, no he’s not. Interesting.

Jeremy is all “clothes matter” and “looks matter” and takes Zach clothes shopping. I’m not shocked that he’s into appearances. Molly is brought along and is helpful. No mention of that should be made though as Jeremy is just prancing about the store in a frenzy of shopping joy. Jeremy notes that he believes books should be judged by their covers. Jeremy calls a dressed up Zach his “golden baby bear”. Yeah that’s not condescending or humiliating. And this is the second time in as many episodes where Jeremy comments on how dressed up dwarfs are somehow cutely amusing to him. I only draw attention to it because you’d think he’d be more concerned about LP Awareness than to dress his LP brother up and refer to him as a cute baby bear.

Now Jeremy takes Zach to score chicks. Jeremy suggests he has a hard time finding women and Zach doesn’t realize it. Wow this is super dull. Zach notes how he’s quiet and therefore shy and uninteresting. There are no women wandering about the empty courtyard that Jeremy has taken Zach for filming. Really if MSNBC is to be believed, they just have to drive downtown to pick up people who will date them for just a small exchange of cash and or cough syrup based homemade medicine.

Jeremy and Zach are doing a dating “thing” after they strike out. Zach notes that he has no girlfriend and never did. Which is an interesting contrast to several other episodes and also puts the whole Nathan thing in an interesting light. He rattles on for a bit on the hay bale but I have no idea what he said. Jeremy and Zach leave and Amy gives Matt food and he compliments her cutely and Amy is having none of it. Matt hay bales how Molly should marry someone like him. I find myself pondering whether wanting your daughter to marry someone like you is or isn't creepy. I vote creepy. Amy is less than thrilled with this and notes that marrying someone like Matt would not be good. She seems to vehemently agree with me.

Now the boys are off to “flirting class”. They natter at each other. Jeremy hay bales the obvious - that Zach lacks confidence due to being “a golden baby bear” aka not average height. Having your twin call you something like “golden baby bear“ may not help, that’s all I am saying. The class itself seems like an ice breaker sort of class we have at work. There’s some staring contests, and I can see why Zach might be uncomfortable looking up at some girl. Now they have to give out their phone numbers to people in a grocery store. A little creepy but ok. The teacher tags along for the cameras. Its rather awkward. Zach hay bales again, something about rejection but again, I can’t make it out. Zach is finding it super difficult. Zach needs to buck up, we average heights don’t bite and the older we are, the more flattered we are, no matter what the guy looks like. Zach asks why he has to do the hard thing. He hay bales how he wants someone who likes him for his quiet side.

Amy goes on a rambling monologue about how this is all about confidence. Yeah, I think we all clued in on the episode theme but thanks there, Amy.

We get several scenes that may or may not have been filmed at the same time of friends playing soccer in the yard. Zach notes that Molly likes Nathan. Nathan is cute. Molly is cute. I’m inclined to agree not much is going on there. But they seem cute.

So now Amy is hanging with martial arts friends with her charity but *really* she’s setting up Zach by making him take a kick boxing class. The girl is cute, a bit of a shorty but still nice looking. The dojo is very well appointed.

Now they have Zach kicking stuff while Mommy watches… that’s so conducive to dating. And every girl wants a 20 year old who hangs with Mommy. Then they have Zach break a board with his foot. Now Zach hay bales how he now wants a girlfriend as we see the girl basically say complimentary things to Zach over his skills while the camera is on her. Yeah, I can see why performing like a trained monkey for the cameras and for Mommy just might not be Zach’s thing. Is it really that important?

And overall this was as dull as dishwater and I wish they’d go back to subtitling Zach.

5 comments:

Shadow said...

Do ya *think* that having a camera crew following you around a grocery store and a woman beside you barking out orders might *not* be the most conducive atmosphere for walking up to a complete stranger and cramming your phone number in her hand? If I were Zach, I think I'd rather be dressed like a leprechaun for four hours than have this sort of farcical, fake script forced on me by TLC. And truly, IS this any different? "Little golden bear?" I would've used my board-breaking kick on Jeremy's shin at that point.

Being an introvert meself, I can't help but note that this is the type of thing I grew up with in a household of extroverts. I was *always* being involuntarily signed up for some activity with the admonition to "Go in there and make friends!" and then being chastised and made to feel like a freak when I came out of the first day without 17 lifelong buddies. I know EXACTLY how Zach feels in that family. The only result of all this "encouragement" was that I crawled even further inside my head and didn't emerge until I went as far away to college as I could afford. Which is when I discovered there are lots of other people who don't find it necessary or desirable to be the center of attention. Which is why I think the best and only solution for Zach is to get out of Dodge for a few years.

And yes, Rap, isn't it interesting that although Molly displays many of the same tendencies, she isn't being hustled by Jeremy to "dive right in" like he was exhorting Zach back in high school when they were the same age Molly is now. Funny that...

Em said...

I'm pretty sure the soccer game was the same game as they showed before. I saw Jacob and Keith in the background when Jeremy was talking to the girls. They all were wearing the same clothes.

Monica said...

The show has become so lame. The worse scene was them in Portland. Matt talks in his facebook how people always approach them. But this stupid show wants the viewers to think girls won't come up to Jeremy? Or Zach? Stupid producers.

Abby said...

I didn't have difficulty understanding Zach.

Jeremy looks terrible with whatever he thinks that is on his chin. An attempt at facial hair? imo, Jeremy wasn't a great host for those girls at the soccer game. He didn't look like he wanted to be there or enjoyed talking to them.

Andrea said...

Who is responsible for editing of different Roloffs? Matt? Amy? This Chris guy that I read about?

I can't remember a time in the last 3 years when they've compared Zach and Jeremy and Jeremy has been the one to look bad.