Monday, November 22, 2010

Guest Episode Roloff Review by Rap541; Little People, Big World Nov 22

The guest reviewer is Rap541.
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Written by Rap541

So we start with Molly cutting Jake’s hair. It’s cute as Molly debates whether she is messing it up or not.

So Amy and Molly are heading to George Fox U. Amy brags about Molly in voiceover as Molly as usual is the one making sure people leave on time. So Molly, Zach, and Jake go on the tour with other people. Molly seems nervous and hay bales how she’s nervous. Amy is all full of questions and seems surprised that Molly had no questions. Considering that this is possibly being done entirely for the cameras, I am not shocked.

Meanwhile Jeremy plays with an expensive camera. He waxes philosophical on his photo missions. He notes he’ll never know how good he is until he starts making money with it. That’s an interesting philosophy. I wonder if he’s read how photographers average about 25k a year. That’s not “buy old cars and have someone remodel them for you” money.

Molly is doing a relay marathon and Amy gives her a book to learn from. Molly seems like she has sorta been volunteered by a friend for the marathon. This isn’t especially interesting.

Now Jeremy is off to the air show with a special invite from a flying group. He is excited about photography. Oh we get a montage of Jeremy’s careers. Its delicious. The taking samples of the grizzly/polar bear hybrid was especially well thought out. Yeah, lets see. He takes pictures, his parents give him fancy photography toys, and he wanders about holding a camera taking pictures. This is certainly going to be a career.

So he gets a special tour with Mom of the wing walker job… There’s an intensive bit of wing walking film interspaced with Jeremy muttering “omigod… extreme… it’s a rush….” Lets hope he doesn’t add wing walking to his career goals. Now he wants to shoot action adventure photography. I’m honestly curious how he plans to parlay that into a paycheck. Amy calls him Peter Pan and yeah, that’s pretty apt.

Back to the farm. Molly seems to be slacking off her running practice. She actually sounds kind of sick, voice wise but I might have misheard. Then Amy does her parenting, aka tickling and not really doing much. Molly jogs off with a camera person tailing her. Apparently she ran five minutes. Amy complains and notes it will be hard.

Sam Roloff wanders in. Jeremy wants his drawings examined. Yeah, this doesn’t feel staged for the camera either. The drawings we see aren’t bad. Sam says his skills are “budding” and “warming up“. I notice he avoids the hyperbole some of the fans and Jeremy’s parents tend to throw out. Then they look at photoshopping pictures and Sam casually offers him a job taking pictures of his studio. Ahem. Yeah, that wasn’t awkwardly set up now was it? On a more interesting note, Sam looks a lot more healthy than Matt.

Amy helps Molly prepare for the marathon relay and there seems to be some tension that Molly hasn’t prepared adequately. Amy throws out her typical can do patter.

Jeremy heads to Sam’s studio. It’s a photo gig. Sam asks about the lighting what Jeremy would like, and Jeremy is all “uh….um… whatever you like”. Sam’s paintings look interesting. Sam seems to have a sense of humor, not quite as bold as Matt but a bit of a quiet ham. We get Sam on the hay bale noting how it was fun. They talk about portfolios and it seems like Jeremy may not understand the difficulty of the job, or what a portfolio is. Sam seems pleasantly concerned.

Now we’re back to the running plot. Amy is worried Molly will freak out. Molly takes the relay! Its ON! Molly notes how the night and darkness frightens here. Amy is interviewed at the race wanting to root her on. Amy hands off water and shouts more encouragement.. Meanwhile Jeremy shows up at Sam’s studio in the middle of the same night? Nicely done, TLC! Jeremy hay bales how photography is what he wants to do. Yeah, rumor has it making videos is now his career goal so….

Were we supposed to believe this was the same night as Molly’s midnight run? Or are we to be mocked for pointing out we can tell the time frames have been manipulated? Are we wrong and stupid for believing the show as presented? Or are we wrong and stupid for pointing out we know the situations presented are exaggerations and lies?

Oh god, do we really need to see more of the Gosselins?

Back to Molly running. She’s dragging tail. But she pushes through the pain! Triumphant music plays! Molly makes the race! Amy goes on about how amazing her kids are but they will have to sink or swim on their own?

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2nd episode

So Rob and Amy show up with Aiden their new adopted son. There is diaper discussion. Yeah, we can move on from that.

Marty Klebba shows up. Apparently no one knew he was coming. Matt hay bales what CODA is. Matt goes on about how riding a bike needs special customization. So Coda is getting six bikes to six kids. Now I think that’s awesome. However, I often wonder if some of Matt’s low grade resentment towards Amy’s charity is because ARCF seems way more successful at raising money. Last year the gold thing earned what? 50k? And this year it earned 100k? And CODA gave out a 5k scholarship and six bikes.

Amy goes on about *her* charity and drives off with a cup of coffee on the car. She says her next event is a trip to Haiti. You know, the “voyage of hope”. So they put their kids like Molly and Jake and someone’s little kid to pack duffles for Haitians. Amy hay bales how she needs to do something. They’re shipping 100 backpacks. Molly and Jake fill the backpacks and Jer-Bear and Zachie get the free cruise. Interesting choices there.

Back on the farm the bike guys are there to measure kids in the garage. So we see kids measured. Zack hay bales how awesome it was to get a bike. They have the kids biking on bikes.

Meanwhile it’s the day of the Haiti trip. There’s the typical no one has packed until the last minute rush. Amy notes how the twins don’t understand the horrors of Haiti in the slightest. Matt hay bales how it’s a disaster in Haiti.

Now they’re on “the cruise to Haiti”. The little kid who was packing backpacks is there. Amy and her buddies discuss the plan. This is all on “twin cam” as the budget for this sort of trip was cut. By the way everyone is in stylish evening wear. For a relief trip.

Matt goes on about how amazing his own custom bike was that he got when he was 15. I find myself wondering if it was that great and all, and the Roloffs weren’t poor, why didn’t Zach get a custom bike until he was old enough to drive a car?

Haiti! Danger music plays! The road isn’t paved! This could turn bad at any moment! They may not make the cruise ship dead line! Ominous!

This episode by the way, seems to have lengthy commercial breaks.

Off to Port Au Prince! Jeremy’s mind is blown by tent cities. Amy is all “wow this is huge”. They have the little kid with them. There’s rubble everywhere. Its basically awful. Now they are at the hospital/orphanage and its heartbreaking. They hand out sample backpacks.

Ohnoes! The driver has disappeared and they’re behind schedule! And there’s a storm! Will they make it back to the cruise ship loaded with food?? Chase music plays! Jeremy remarks how “insane” it is! But they make it back and toast themselves with wine over their good deed. The cruise by the way probably cost each cruiser several thousand dollars. Just putting it in perspective.

Back at the farm, Matt has the twins putting the bikes together. Matt insists this is a scramble bamble (its cute when dwarfs baby talk, apparently). I find myself comparing the giant mess of crap everywhere and Matt calling it a scramble bamble, while Amy’s charity events never seem to have people running around in hysterics over last minute details.

Matt goes on about how awesome it is that he’s doing bikes. EEP! My cable totally went out just as Zach hauled out a bike. Waiting….Now I see four kids bike off and Matt is all “..IS REALLY REWARDING”. Aw well.

And remember, the show is real and raw and not staged, and don’t you dare suggest it’s scripted, but when you point out the “beat the clock” timing, someone will mock you for believing the show is reality. :)

35 comments:

Brandon said...

Score one for whoever made the decision to put in the segment of Jeremy's career choices. They forgot a few though. What about under water welder?

Lynn C said...

I don't think it's accurate to call the show scripted.

Being "scripted" and having "Beat the clock" themes are not the same thing.

They are real events weaved together into a story (with beat the clock plots).

Nadia said...

Has anyone noticed how all of a sudden Zach is barely in the episodes? Last week was Jeremy centric episode and again this week.

Greg said...

From the little bit I've seen of Sam, I like him a lot more than Matt.

I appriciate that he wasn't all "Jeremy, you're the greatest photographer of all time or destined to be". He was nice, but not over the top like Matt and Amy are about Jeremy.

Em said...

Rap, the little kid was Lisa's son from Amy's charity foundation.

Unlike the Roloffs, the kid that did the packing of supplies actually got to go on the cruise, ha.

Did anyone ever find out why there was a switch? Why did it end up being Jeremy and Zach instead of Molly and Jacob?

Em said...

Sorry I pressed submit too soon.
I remember Amy telling the cruise guy, Barry something, that Molly and Jacob were going to go with her. Somewhere along the way there was a switch.

David said...

Em, other than the usual Roloff dynamic of Jeremy and Zach getting to do whatever is the most fun, it could have been because they cut back on the travel budget which meant they needed the Roloffs to film. Perhaps they thought Zach and Jeremy would do a better job filming than Molly and Jacob?

Craw said...

Jeremy's sketches were amazing. I don't know what some of you people watched, but Sam said Jeremy's pictures were "Really good". They were.

Em, Jake probably threw a temper tantrum and refused to go, so they took Jeremy and Zach instead instead.

I missed the first 10 seconds of the hair cut but turned it on in time to hear Jake's whining. Molly should have used that as her chance to get him back.

Shadow said...

Just gotta say...

The race was NOT a relay "marathon." It is a race from downtown Portland out to the beach. There are usually 12 runners on a team. Each runner runs two legs that are between 4 and 7 miles long (that "10 miles to go" pop-up was a hoot). TLC pulled some strings on this, because normally "regular" people are not allowed to drive on the course, as there would be too much traffic on narrow, dark roads. So you can bet no one else's mommy was out there cheering on her kid. With a camera crew.

George Fox - I never had many questions to ask on my college visits - because I read the literature before I went. Anyways, seems like Molly's just window shopping right now. Amy's the one who seems a bit manic...guess that happens when only one of your kids seems to be headed towards higher ed.

The photography...not even gonna go there.

The cruise and "rescue mission" to Haiti. Wait, they DIDN'T EVEN HAVE BACKPACKS TO HAND OUT? Just "samples"???!!!! No wonder those kids had those looks of confusion. That may also explain why Amy kept dancing - to distract them from what they weren't getting. So they went through all of that to pat a bunch of kids on the head and tell them their boxes would arrive "some day." Hmmm...and then finishing off this mission of...whatever it was a mission of with their wine before their six-course meal. Nice humanitarian touch...

They have Marty Klebba and Matt Roloff heading up CODA, both millionaires, and all they can afford are six bikes? Seriously? And about that baby talk by Matt - he does that on his Facebook page too. Awww, him's so kewt!!! I was wondering just today how little people feel about the MiniKiss band that appeared in the Dr. Pepper ad? Like, is that on the same level as dressing up like a leprechaun? Or is it okay, because they thought of it themselves?

Brandon said...

"The photography...not even gonna go there."

Aw Shadow, please go there. I want to hear what you have to say about the Jer Bear's latest passion :)

Birdie said...

The one girl at the end that got the bike, the one that Zach didn't introduce by name...is Zach's friend!!!!

He went to a dance with her and Jeremy and Zach went wakeboarding and surfing with her.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. A charity. They use it to buy a bike for the President's son's friend.

Depending on the charity, that kind of thing could get some people in trouble.

Shadow said...

Brandon, about the photography, I think Expressed said it best in her review.

"Sam asks Jeremy about his portfolio. Jeremy seems a little confused."

Maria said...

I think all the Roloff kids would be better off and better people if they spent more time with Sam and less with Matt and Amy.

Jason said...

The Roloffs keep sinking to new lows. It showed how much of a trip for Haiti it actually was. They didn't even bring the backpacks!

It's a trip for Haiti, but we're not gonna bring anything.

What, did they not have room for the backpacks? Maybe they could have put it in their luxury suites on Oasis Of The Seas, but I guess that would have cut into their closet space for their dress clothes for all their fancy meals.

Dana said...

How many LP kids would have received their own bikes without Matt Roloff, Shadow? It irks me when people say the Roloffs should give more. What are you doing? They are doing something.

As for Jeremy's photography, it was very impressive. Did you not listen. Sam is his mentor. Sam is a professional artist. He has been in the field for years. Jeremy not being prepared with a portfolio is nothing to be ashamed of. He is just starting out, hence why Sam is his mentor.

L7 said...

Molly said she was thinking about being a teacher.

Diane said...

"Then they look at photoshopping pictures and Sam casually offers him a job taking pictures of his studio. Ahem. Yeah, that wasn’t awkwardly set up now was it?"

Agreed. Jeremy is such a bad actor. He can't hide a smile when he is supposed to be having these natural and non-staged conversations.

Hayes said...

When they showed their schedule on the Cruise, I read the whole card.

5pm = Ship Sails

6pm = ARCF ONLY DINNER

Is that how they celebrate *helping* in Haiti. With a special dinner only for them?

Rap541 said...

Do people understand that Sam is a painter and Jeremy wants to be a photographer?

Because they're very different fields. Its like saying I want to be a screen writer and a well established technical writer is my mentor.

Hayes said...

The ending credits listed "Bike Friday" as a special thanks. Does that mean CoDA didn't pay anything towards the bikes?

Rap541 said...

"I don't think it's accurate to call the show scripted."

I don't think its accurate to call what we see "real and raw" either, Lynn. And frankly, the only reason there's debate on this issue is because Matt Roloff won't decide which story he wants the fans to believe.

I know, I know, Matt *only speaks truth*! Anyone who doubts Matt HATES Matt.

So why does Matt tell people the show isn't an accurate depiction of his family? And also insists that it is?

Why does he constantly publically snicker how he knows the truth, and the fans who watch the show have no idea what his family is like?

But the show is an *accurate depiction of his family*!

But people who watch the show are stupid if they believe the "beat the clock" presentation!

Comeplete with Frank the boasting tv producer happy to snit how dumb the fans are for not figuring it out - even though Expressed makes the very valid point that we've all discussed the editing and forced storylines for years but Frank is a tv producer so when he says we all just figured it out, we need to smile and accept the insult. And then Frank notes how Matt's been hinting *for years* that the show is highly edited and not an accurate depiction of his family (which we've also discussed for years) and yet....

Its not scripted so its not a lie! If you say it's scripted, no no no its real! But Matt gets to laugh at you for being so dumb to believe it! But he's showing you an accurate depiction of his family! But he laughs at how stupid you are to believe it!

Matt's staff who scours the net to provide Matt with posts for his hate chapter he's gleefully talked about writing? Could you point out to Matt that laughing at fans who believe the show's depiction as accurate and then getting pissy when people say the show is fake is part of why people don't believe Matt?

Susan said...

The way the Roloffs twist the facts bother me. It wasn't a trip for Haiti. It was planned before the Haiti earthquake. It was a week long cruise for the rich and famous. Most passengers didn't know anything about it being a relief trip for Haiti. They always dock at the beach in Haiti.

It's very deceptive and dishonest of the Roloffs and TLC to ignore the real reason for the trip was to give the Roloffs a luxury vacation for a week.

Mike said...

Careful there, Rap. You need to quit bullying poor ol' Matt.

/sarc off

Anonymous said...

I never knew Matt Roloff brother Sam Roloff live in Oregon.I always thought he lived in California. If he did live in Califorina when did he move to Oregon?

Anne said...

Molly was no better than the boys at preparing for the marathon or at the University.

I was impressed with Jeremy's drawings and photos. Some of them were very nice.

Rap541 said...

"Molly was no better than the boys at preparing for the marathon or at the University."

Yes, Anne. Being an A student is exactly like failing math and struggling to maintain sports eligability. Checking out colleges early in one's junior year is exactly the same as waiting until mid senior year to even look.

No doubt Molly will be just like Jer-Bear and Zackiewackie and need someone to help her fill out her college applications too.

Molly also expressed deep interest in the sport of running, just like how Jeremy expressed his desire to play pro-soccer.

Only wait.... Molly actually didn't seem all that interested or motivated in running at all and was just doing the race as a favor... which makes it decidedly *different* than Jeremy wanting to play pro-soccer and pretty much quitting at the first real failure.

Don't get me wrong, Molly has her flaws, but I just really find it amusing that getting all As in high school is the same as goofing off and barely passing when it comes to preparing for college. But then I remember, she's making Jeremy look bad so time for the Jer Fans to bitch about her. :)

Rap541 said...

Mike - I know. Matt's a dwarf and on tv so he must never be questioned and always praised because he's just so perfect and anyone who doesn't agree is a hating cyberbully who hates.:)

Anne said...

Molly knew she would be running a long relay race. However, she didn't prepare. Amy told her to train. She wanted lay on the couch.

That sounds familiar. Do you recall Jeremy and the soccer tryout.

Molly went to visit the college with Amy. She was not prepared. She had no questions to ask. She deferred to Amy.

I didn't say the boys were ahead of Molly. I said she was no better than they were at those things and she wasn't.

Rap541 said...

Anne - the difference would be:

Molly has never even expressed an interest in long distance running. She didn't prepare, for an activity she on camera expressed a lack of interest in - no "I want to win! I want to run as a professional" but "my friend wanted a team and I sorta got volunteered...."


Jeremy in contrast wanted to play soccer professionally but didn't put in any effort... and even now the Jer fans insist there was a massive conspiracy on the part of the ODP coaches to deny Jeremy his soccer career.

Since Molly actually wanted to go to the college and even seemed anxious to check it out (and actually has the grades to be accepted to something other than a community college or a tradeschool) and does pretty well with the volleyball team to boot, it seems a little unkind to say she's no better than the twins.

I mean, she has a pleasant personality and does well in sports which I believe is the Jeremy definition of success?

Kapper said...

I thought Amy looked great - it looks like her dedication to losing weight and getting in shape has paid off.
The only thing I'm gonna miss about this show is the house, I'm in love with that house and its surroundings. Oh yeah, and of course Rocky. Love that dog...

Beth said...

okay this "Haiti" trip annoys me.

Doesn't it seem odd that they took a cruise to go help the poor people in Haiti? Sounds almost obnoxious.

If they were going to go to Haiti for the charity foundation I don't understand why they didn't fly there, spend a few days and deliver more then markers and a harmonica. It would have been a lot cheaper. Royal Caribbean owns Labadee. They've been making that a stop for over 10 years. This doesnt seem like they went on the cruise for just Haiti.

Which brings me to my next point. Dont the items they brought seem a bit odd as well. I mean Markers and a HARMONICA? WHAT!? Last time I checked I thought the Haitians would need clothes and canned food.

Is it just me or is all of this somewhat of a joke..

I don't think Amys charity foundation makes enough money for all of that. I think its called the TLC "foundation"

Expressed said...

Beth, the cruise was originally the Amy Roloff Celebrity cruise with Royal Caribbean on the Oasis of the seas. It was scheduled months before the earthquake in Haiti.

If you booked the Amy cruise I think you paid more, but some of the money went to Amy's charity.

Then after the earthquake, Amy asked anyone booking her cruise to bring some items for the people of Haiti like blankets and stuff.

From then on Amy stopped calling it the Amy Roloff Celebrity cruise and her charity started calling it a trip for Haiti.

Like you said, Labadee is one of the stops Royal Caribbean always docks at. Somebody said they docked in the morning and left in the late afternoon (6pm I guess).

You're right. Really it was a celebrity cruise for a week. They were spending one afternoon of the week in Haiti.

Thats what they talked about instead of the vacation on the biggest cruise ship in the world or the docking on beautiful beaches every day or all the expensive stuff that Oasis has or all the dinners and show they went on during the cruise.

Personally I don't have a problem with it. They're allowed to vacation and as long as they were going to Haiti, bring something is better than being like the rest of passengers and spending the afternoon tanning on the beach.

But I agree it's kinda sneaky the way they used it on the show and to call it a trip for Haiti because really it was a free celebrity cruise for the Roloffs, Gayle and Lisa and her family.

Vic Rattlehead said...

So the Haiti trip was just a cover scam to disguise the fact that the cruise was an exclusive vacation for Amy and those two worthless wastes of skin she calls her oldest sons.

I found the whole episode so patronizing and disrespectful towards the child victims of a horrible tragedy (which is still going on today with a massive cholera outbreak)and their immediate needs of food shelter and clothing instead what the children got was a cheap plastic backpack filled with cheap trinkets and junk (felt pens, plastic sunglasses and a toy harmonica)instead of the food and clothing they needed.

Listening to Jeremy trying to sound emotionally effected by what he saw felt so phony and put on that it actually made me angry and Zack seems to be just as cold and callous towards people as Jeremy, remember that were talking about two people who walk around with a high and mighty "I'm so important because I'm on tv" attitudes and treat anyone who isn't like them as if they are annoying flies buzzing around their empty head and then try to reconcile that with their fake attempts at sounding genuine heartfelt and emotionally moved by something they probably didn't care enough about when it happened to pay any attention to it.

This wasn't a "Mission Of Mercy" it was an ultra luxurious dream vacation that was held aboard the largest and most expensive (at the time) ocean liner in the world, a vacation which I might add probably would have cost about $10-15.000 to go on if it hadn't been comped by Royal Caribbean (it must be so nice to have the kind of money sitting around that you can afford to spend on a vacation what most people would use as a down payment on a house).

Lauren said...

I'm really dissapointed in Amy with the "Haiti relief cruise". I mean, a relief *cruise*? She could have done much more to help those Haitians if she really tried. And Rap-- You really seem like you want to argue and put people (both the Roloff's and the other commentors on here) down.

Mike P. said...

I understand how the cruise was scheduled before the earthquake. I also understand how Roloff (because I've seen him in action) can bend it to a grandstanding "charity" effort in response to the quake.

But a chartered jet to meet them in Haiti? I'm afraid I don't understand that.

Well, yeah, I do understand. Unfortunately.

Money be damned! Especially if it comes from contributors and can be used to polish the image of Amy and the twins. Nothing wrong with that, huh?

If I were a contributor (and I sure am not!), and I saw a private jet chartered with money I'd sent for responsible uses, I'd want an explanation.

I'd also insist on an audit of the Roloff charities and would want to see, most particularly, just how much of each contributed dollar goes to "administrative expenses."

I think the result would be very revealing.