This is Rap541's episode review. All opinions and statements belong to Rap.
Written by Rap541
And so it comes, the end of the show. I'd like to thank Spiritswander for this blog,, and for all the mad editing skills, and send props to my fellow reviewer Expressed (fist bump) because we don't generally agree but I really think Expressed has grown as a reviewer. I have dreamed since I was four years old of writing reviews for a reality show on a blog so of course I must thank the Lord Jesus Christ as well. :)
Dec 06, 8:00 pm
Twins at Twenty
The twins face challenges growing up when Zach puts off buying a new car and Jeremy has a tough time applying for a job.
So Zach isn't buying an expensive brand new SUV? Even after scoring his low paying job that we had an entire episode devoted to?And Jeremy will of course triumphantly get a job thereby showing us all? Oh wait, this was filmed in May-Sept and we all know Jeremy didn't sully himself with work. After all he's a rich boy who lives off Mommy and Daddy and we should all respect his awesome achievement of well, doing nothing but playing. I am just shocked Matt and Amy actually allowed such a negative preview about Jeremy. How dare anyone say WonderJer has a tough time with anything?
Dec 06, 8:30 pm
While the twins explore moving into their own apartment, Matt and Amy reevaluate their lives and seriously consider selling the farm.
So really, the show didn't end last year because of "loose ends needing to be tied up" but we're teased with a cliffhanger? A cliffhanger of lies?
I mean, come on, the twins live at home right now, months after filming has ended and nope, the Roloffs haven't sold the farm. However I am totally willing to bet this ends with the Roloffs sitting around the table and Matt doing a voice over of how freaking amazing everything thing he's ever done is.
Because we must never forget... Its all about Matt and how he's the special snowflake :)
Hmmmm…. So Matt is waking the twins up and Jeremy is sleeping in cowboy town. Yeah this exactly how mature I thought the twins were. Zach asks for breakfast and Matt says NO as he rolls out to Jeremy’s sleep spot. Yes, he’s waking Jeremy and Zach up at 10am at twenty years of age. He comments on how he was already out of the house at their age. He goes on and on about how they are moving forward.
He asks about Jeremy’s resume. Jeremy is “durpa der” aka he says next to nothing other than ummmm. Matt goes on about how middle names are passe but objectives are important. Jeremy doesn’t seem to know what “objective” means. Matt rants and Jeremy looks sleepy, bored, and confused. Matt hay bales how asinine the situation is and how he unintentionally encouraged it. Jeremy also doesn’t know what a cover letter is. Ironically I think this is possibly the most honest scene of Jeremy we’ve gotten in years. No surprises.
Now Matt tales Zach car shopping. Several shots of the Previa. Now they look at an Outback. Matt is all about getting a good price. There’s amiable bargaining. Matt goes on and on how dumb Zach is to not make an immediate decision. Zach notes it takes six years to pay off a brand new car and he wants to think about the commitment.
Jeremy and Zach play video games. Wait, I thought Jeremy James NEVER played video games and abhorred all forms of electronic gaming entertainment as it keeps him from his beloved nature hikes where he ponders theology? Matt and Amy discuss the budget. Matt wants to sell and pitch the twins out. During the voice over of Matt wanting them to leave before he dies, the boys play video games. Matt asks for Jeremy’s resume, Jeremy has little to say, other than there is no resume. Matt thinks about selling and tells Jeremy he’s thinking of selling because he’s tired of the twins being lazy. Matt calls it dragon slaying.
Jeremy whines about how applications are all on line now. Has he ever applied before the world went on line? I mean seriously now, Wonder Jer at twenty has *never even applied* for a job before? And we’re supposed to feel sorry for him? He whines about being ignorant and wanders into Home Depot for a paper app. They point him to the computer application area in the store. He whines how he hates computers and says he can’t finish because he didn’t bring his ssn number. Just for the record, didn’t Go-getter Jer-Bear also need Mommy or was it Molly to tend him and fill out his college application and specifically, remember his social security number for him? Gosh he’s such a man. He heads home after failing at filling out an application for a minimum wage job. Praise him!
Zach heads to his job. He awkwardly asks for more hours. The boss sorta mocks him about the farm and his work habits. Zach whines how hard work is. This whole scene feels completely staged.
Matt crutches about. He bitches how the twins suck and skip chores. Matt chastises them and Jeremy smarts off how he works and Matt disagrees. Jeremy notes he doesn’t care what Matt thinks or whether Matt believes him. Gosh is that Jeremy Jesus respectfully agreeing with Daddy as always? Jeremy whines. Matt whines to Amy about selling the farm. Amy starts to talk and Jeremy tells Amy to leave and trot her ass back to the kitchen. You know, because she’s just a woman and not Matt so Jeremy telling the woman who birthed him to do his bidding is respectful. Amy tells him, a bit curtly, like she’s totally aware the camera is there and hoping he shuts up before its too late, to stop while he’s ahead. Jeremy snots off again and Amy notes she’s not gonna hear it from a 20 year old slacker. Oh Jer fans? What I didn’t see was Matt grow some balls and say one word as his son disrespected his wife or say one word when his wife told the 20 year old unemployed slacker to shut up.
So Jeremy is doing some work on a friend’s car. Amy asks whose car it is and Jeremy’s friend is Jeremy Roloff. So he lied right to his mom’s face. I guess that is Christian respect, lying directly to your mom’s face on camera. I mean, I am really curious how this will turn into a “Jeremy was telling the truth when he said it was for a friend because he’s a Christian who never lies!“. They debate the money, and he admits he didn’t even have the money to buy it. Amy hay bales how dumb he is.
Jeremy hay bales how he bought the second car before getting a job. There’s just not much going on in that pretty little head is there? He heads down to one of Daddy’s contacts and applies (not by computer). The interviewer asks about hours. Jeremy goes on about how nice it is there. Since we all know Jeremy isn’t working aside from chores for Daddy, and spent the last six months playing, this whole job thing is especially hilarious.
Matt and Zach drive to get the new car. Zach babbles on the hay bale. He buys a car. I note Zach managed to bring his license and registration with him unlike someone else. Matt congratulates him. Zach rams the curb as he drives off.
Back on the farm, Zach rolls in on his new SUV. Jeremy and Mueller want to sign the ceiling and perhaps realizing how expensive it is, Zach says no. Amy hay bales how dumb Jeremy is to buy a second car with no job. Jeremy sits at the family dinner and mentions moving out. Matt does a hallelujah! He’s just a little too happy, as in it feels like a completely staged moment. Then he notes how they don’t think about the costs. Matt hay bales how the twins are challenged and kinda slow moving out. I’m guessing this episode kinda reflects how no one really needs to kiss ass anymore.
Amy and Molly and Jake head out to the gazebo. Amy hay bales how divorce is impending. Molly and Jake fight on the hammock. Jake looks a lil young there. As in I think this whole sequence was recycled from years ago. Also I would just like to say I appreciate how TLC continually used footage in such a way that if Mike had wandered through one of these last episodes, I wouldn’t have been shocked.
A realtor wanders in. Matt hay bales how without the twins he can’t work the farm. Ahem. Since Camerino and the staff do all the work and the twins only pitch in at pumpkin season…. Not buying the faux drama. Matt waxes nostalgically about the land as he is a man of the land. Amy chides Matt over that. Now we get a nostalgic mule trip around the farm.. The realtor sounds a bit like Jeremy and he nicely kisses Matt’s ass in this.
Mueller and Jeremy and Zach go apartment hunting in the Previa. Jeremy snots how mature he is. Everyone looks SHOCKED at the rent costs. This is dull because I know the twins didn’t move out and certainly didn’t move in with Mueller. Also, I don’t know about Oregon but really, there aren’t free advertising magazines in the grocery stores for apartments? You don’t have apartment hunters? You can’t go to yahoo.com and check pricing? This should not have been a shocker at all.
Matt notes a stain on the driveway. Amy notes that its from the Mercedes. Matt chides her, and Amy notes she did it on purpose to piss him off. Matt runs off to complain to Jeremy. Then Matt rants at her over the oil, and calls her lazy over the car problem. Molly notes on the hay bale that they aren’t communicating well. The divorce word finally rears its head. Matt hay bales how staying married might not be realistic. I’m sure tomorrow Matt will point and laugh how dumb everyone is to believe that.
The twins make lists on what they need as they wander about the store. They make Jake do math for them. That’s sad. More talk with the realtor. Amy shows the realtor around. Molly seems sad on the hay bale. There’s flashbacks of Matt letting the kids do dangerous stuff on the Mule. Amy goes on about the memories and playing with the kids. Insert picture montages.
She takes the realtor around the attractions. Amy and Matt go looking at houses. Matt notes how he’s just curious of Amy will agree with him on anything/ They look at BIG houses for “empty nesters” and I respectfully point out they still have two kids in school. I mean, that’s before I point out how Thing One and Thing Two have no interest in leaving. They look at another huge house. Amy goes on about moving and change and says the kids won’t run the farm. Amy seems to be having a midlife crisis. Again.
Jeremy and Zach and Mueller debate moving out and how expensive being grown ups is.
Molly hay bales how she doubts the twins will ever leave. I know she’s the smart one but that’s a pretty safe bet. Jeremy tells Amy how it makes more sense to loaf at home with Amy in the kitchen tending him than working. Because he’s a man and needs Mommy to tend him and mind him.
Matt tells the twins to get out and don’t think about bringing home grandkids. Amy hay bales how the twins will move out eventually. She seems pretty ready for that moment.
Matt talks about selling so he takes Amy out on the mule. They discuss making memories. Matt refers to the property as a palette but also feels tethered down to the land. Yeah, this is dull. Matt and Amy actually seem pretty disconnected from each other.
Matt hay bales how they might sell. Amy goes on about her memories and we get photo montages. They’ve come to their decision and they’re not selling…. Right now. Really this is a BIT forced. Matt and Amy need to work on the marriage, Amy calls it rocky and iffy. Yeah that’s super positive. There’s more montage. Oh hey there’s actually words to the theme song! WHY IS THIS THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE HEARD THE WORDS???
Back to Amy and Matt on the Mule. Both Matt and Amy make vague comments in voice over about the future…..and they mule off. So… we end on vagueness, hints of pending divorce and the sad realization that yes, the twins are lazy boobs.
And now the Cake Boss! But… the theme song with words will be on Itunes? It was the best part of the show :)