Our guest reviewer Rap541 will review the episode of Little People, Big World. All opinions and statements are that of Rap.
So when last we met, the twins were twenty and had decided to live at home rather than move out because well, it was easier. Matt and Amy were considering selling the farm and didn’t. Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin were still popular.
It’s actually over a year later. Hurrah! Rumor has it that TLC insisted that any filmed specials be aired soon after filming which is a significant difference from before. Watching this rerun where Jer blithely ignores dad’s resume advice… ah what a spoiled mess. And Matt’s nicely negative about how the twins are spoiled messes but only in hay bale confessionals. Watching Matt lecture Jer and Jer be all “whatever” is hilarious. So is Jer-Bear whining about everything being online. Jer looking at the camera and bemoaning not having his SSN and why does anyone need that? HAHAHA Jeremy is such a go-getter!
And Matt spends most of these reruns bitching how irresponsible the twins are! And Jer telling Matt how he doesn’t need him… so respectful and its 2010 :D. Oh and Jer telling his mom to trot her ass to the kitchen and its 2010 and Jer telling his mom he’s not gonna stop disrespecting her while Matt says nothing! Oh YEAH. Matt? Amy says “her poor twenty year old boy….” *you* said all the occurrences of Jer snotting off on camera took place six years ago. Matt? Hand on the Bible… is your wife a *liar*?
One of the most amusing aspects of the rerun is watching Jer manfully talk about getting a job in 2010 when we all know he was still jobless, oh forgive me, “working for daddy” before his big man move to Cali.
Oh man, my friend has freshly made ravioli that she just brought in and she’s offering it to me but I am here and the new show starts and by the time the show is done, there will be no fresh ravioli for Rap! AND I am missing Animation Domination! Oh wait, Blue Crow is offering to hold some of the ravioli back for me! Woo! So there will be a review after all!
Wow the last episode was kinda cloying. Still like the words to the song tho.
Btw I like how the rare commercials are mentioning that the perfect never have problems Roloffs were indeed considering divorce.
And we start right off with DIVORCE talk. Amy notes that it came up a LOT in the last five or six years that oddly enough seems to run concurrent with the reality show. Amy? There’s this Kate bitch who needs a new man…. Also didn’t Matt tell a completely different story about how happy they are?
Matt hay bales how everything is great, they aren’t selling the farm and he’s buying property. Amy notes how he whines how he is going to die early. Yes Amy, we’ve all picked up that whine too. As I recall, he was going on in 2009 that he would need spinal surgery within six months and was probably going to be in a wheel chair so take it as you will, Amy. You live with him after all.
At the same time, this scene in the mule on the farm seems very carefully staged. As in something thought very carefully about how they were going to chat on the mule.
New Credits. Not really that different. More shirtless Jer.
Jer’s on the mule, unshaven. On the hay bale he is clean shaven. Nice to see that TLC will never fail to mess up continuity this way. He lies to the camera that he’s waiting on his acceptance and then stages a scene about receiving the acceptance letter that he got in November of 2010. Wasn’t this filmed in August 2011, almost a year after Jeremy’s acceptance? He and Amy hug. Amy whines about the empty nest., Jeremy is ready to party. Was it really necessary to lie about this? I mean, it actually is rather unusual to get your acceptance letter “weeks” before you head off to school. It just adds an unnecessary extra moment of fake to the whole business.
Now we have a family dinner where Jeremy announces his acceptance. Again, its obviously staged to where even Amy notes his flat affect. Zach expresses surprise. Matt notes publicly on camera that Jeremy will fail and cry for his mom. Amy turns this all into “What is Zach doing” which is kinda assy. Btw I think this is the first family dinner that had Jeremy and didn’t have Mueller that we have ever seen on this show. Interesting.
Matt worries that the farm will quiet down without Jer. Now another staged scene where Amy and Matt sit on the porch and discuss it. I mean really, on the one hand the hay bales come off a bit real, with people expressing emotions but the actual “real scenes” seem fake… especially Matt’s “We did it!”. None of the Roloffs are actors, and yes, it shows.
So now we’re going on an RV trip that was actually in what, July? Wasn’t this to the LPA Con? Didn’t Mueller go? Why present a lie? Matt makes nice to the dog. Matt’s office and really the whole house is a total sty so nothing has changed. I wonder if they let the maid go since there’s been no filming.
No scenes of Jacob Mueller who was on the road trip with them because Jeremy has issues being away from his male friends for any length of time but since this is “the big boy going to away school“ I guess focusing on the codependency is a lil too real.
The green shirt Jeremy wears while driving is very girly… I wonder if Mueller picked it out. Also the 20 questions game seemed staged for the cameras.
Now we have Santa Barbara…. It seems nice. Jeremy expresses his love of playing on the beach. Matt does another weird fake shout “Welcome home!”. They stop at the beach to play Frisbee for the cameras. Matt pointedly asks Zach his opinion of Jeremy leaving and Zach is totally disinterested and walks away. I think since the entire point of this line of questioning is to point out what a loser he is and to push him to get the hell out too, I suspect he’s just embarrassed. This line of questioning is repeated constantly. Amy expresses her plan to freak out and walk away as well. Matt hay bales how they will rediscover themselves and there’s a family photo op. Is rediscover code for divorce? Because for a loving couple who were awesome per Matt, these two don’t seem like love birds.
Still no Mueller. Now Jeremy is on tour with his family at his new school. Jeremy hay bales how he’s learning his craft. Amy does most of the talking and notes she thinks his ideal job is to work for National Geographic. Jer hay bales a lot of nonsense about photography. He notes how if it all doesn’t work out he will live in his new van for two weeks - as opposed to his two BMWs.
Now they look at a studio apartment. Jeremy notes how Zach must be sad and thinking about his future. Personally I think Zach was bored as hell. Also its rather hilarious how Matt and Amy keep asking Zach how he feels about Jeremy leaving… I mean honestly I kinda don’t think Zach much really cares one way or another. He looks like he wants to gnaw off his leg as Amy interrogates him.
Oh the Madonna Inn. I bet they were comped. Its cool, but its not the Bahamas. Its not even the Gobbler. Guess the budget didn’t go too far!
So we get an extensive tour of the Inn. Amy and Matt have steaks and stage a scene for us. Now Amy goes on again about the kids being around. Now we get the kids staging a scene for us as well. Honestly this is like watching paint dry. Zach does note that they are behind the curve. Jeremy notes that he’s totally happy with living like a lump at home for two years. He does not think he’s behind the curve at all. Well, you keep thinking that, Jeremy!
Back to Matt and Amy, and Amy whining about her empty nest. Again. Matt wants to rediscover her. Matt openly prods her to describe memories for the camera and she does. Amy hay bales how she’s probably still considering divorce but not saying it. They force a kiss. The Madonna Inn is so delightfully tacky!
Amy yells at Jeremy and he snits back to her, probably because she’s a woman and he knows better than a woman. Jeremy notes its too much for his pretty little head to deal with and manfully rubs his brow. Jeremy then shovels hay and tells us about the third car he wants to buy.
There’s a party being planned on camera. Amy and Matt argue about work. Matt notes how they all suck at driving as he’s never crashed a mule. Oh hey, we need to kill some time so we’re staging a race on the mules like you know, on a sitcom. Perhaps in the next special, Amy and Matt will put masking tape lines on the floor to separate the house during their trial seperation.
This is so cheesy. So they race, Molly does not rip off her top to start them properly. Amy wins and Matt immediately whines.
Oh look the prep for one of Matt’s Beer Bonfires. Jeremy and Zach stage a scene at the fire. About how weird it will be to spend more than ten seconds apart. No beer? But the twins are twenty one! Jeremy who is afraid of and who hates computers admits texting every day. The nattering between them would be interesting if I wasn’t entirely certain they needed a scene here. “Pray for me” is perhaps the first time we’ve heard anything religious from Jer. I am wondering if we’ll get to see the Jesusmobile’s front or not.
Oh the tear filled tire swing scene. Matt thinks Jeremy should be packing tools to take. He notes how important it is to rehang the tire and how deep it is and Matt weeps for the cameras while Jeremy looks on with dead, bored eyes. Honestly if you can’t remember why it was taken down, it wasn’t that important to you. Matt wanders off, weeping, Jeremy looks like he wants the whole business to be done and checks the box with a “love you”.
Zach on the mower! The DIXIE MOWER! Now we’re having a party to send Jer off to Iraq.
There’s a symbolic rehanging of the tire swing that was probably taken down because the kids were all too old to play with it but we needed a deep family scene to show Jeremy reconnecting with his family for ONE LAST TIME. Since you know, he’s dying and the Roloffs love drama. We get Matt’s philosophy that the tire swing was his entire inspiration for the entire farm… even though he has no idea how or why it came down but gosh darn it it’s the most important thing ever!
Matt gives an endless speech to the crowd. Then Amy. Amy makes it clear she wants all the kids to continue playing at their house despite Jeremy being gone because it makes her feel cool. Jeremy looks bored. Now we have a scene of Frisbee shirtless to provide the T&A. Amy waxes on how it’s a good way to end, to have a great last memory because Jeremy is apparently also dying. Geez…. Its not like he’s not coming home for Matt’s filmed birthday, the next planned special. I think perhaps one of the Roloff family’s problems is their tendency to over dramatize things.
So Jeremy needs mommy to wake his ass up out of his filthy bedroom. Because, you know, he is a twenty one year old child who still can’t figure out how to use an alarm clock or plan ahead. Mom is making him breakfast because well, she’s his servant. Amy hay bales how she hides her emotions and portrays herself as tough. Jeremy is “pumped”. Amy takes pictures. Apparently everyone needs to have their picture taken.
Jeremy waxes philosophically on how he wants to be a good person. Jer, a little hint - it involves actually acting decent, not just saying you’re a Christian. Another hint? If a friend suggests photographing cat tossing, people will think you’re an asshole if you actually take pictures. Another hint? Just because you’re white and Christian, its not ok to slur Jews, Mexicans, African Americans, Asians, the mentally challenged, homosexuals, or any other group you have less than amusing names for.
We get more and more pictures and hugs. And its staged as though Jeremy takes off into the great big world by himself but in fact Amy went with him. “Thank you Jesus” on the van was, much like Mueller’s presence in the RV, or Amy’s presence IN THE VAN (folks she face booked the whole trip) was nicely kept hidden.
Matt weeps that his major-me is gone as we get more staged driving scenes. Matt breaks down as he will never see his son again. Amy hay bales that she loves her kids. We get a montage of Jer vacationing. Funny how the cameras totally hid the fact that Jeremy took his mommy with him on his manly drive into the future. Why is that? I mean, in reality, Amy rode down with Jeremy to Santa Barbara… why was that hidden?
So to sum up, Zach was thrown under the bus repeatedly, the Roloffs per Amy *were* considering divorce, Jeremy openly faked a scene receiving his acceptance letter in summer when it’s known that it was November of 2010, Jake’s expulsion wasn’t mentioned, the beer bonfires weren’t mentioned, and for some strange reason Matt and Amy and Jeremy lied out right about Jeremy driving down to Santa Barbara by himself.
Nicely done, Roloffs! Now for fresh ravioli and Terra Nova on DVR.