Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas At the Roloffs

Merry Christmas to everyone from Spiritswander!I hope everyone has a safe and happy Christmas.

This is a picture that you probably won't see on either of Matt or Amy's Facebook Fan Pages or on Little People, Big World. For those that don't follow their pages, the Roloffs like to convey their family as a very sweet wholesome family with strong Christian values - many of the Roloff Christian fans that they play to often commend the Roloffs for their wholesome ways and often criticize other shows or celebrities for being crude. Amy and Matt are fond of posting pictures portraying the Roloff kids and their friends playing board games with each other.

Anyhow, this is the outside of the Roloff home all ready for Christmas :) The picture is from Jacob Roloff's public twitter account.

Captioned by Jacob Roloff: "Seeing this when I came home ......."

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm: Episode Review December 18, 2012

Review of the Dec 18th episode of Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm featuring the Roloffs.

Written by Rap541

Hmmm interesting that yet again, no rerun of the prior episode. I watched Storage Wars, a much better fake reality show and then thumbed through the blog. Oh look, it’s Matt and Amy’s 25th anniversary again! Didn’t they celebrate this on a special journey to California? About four months ago? When it wasn’t their anniversary or Amy’s birthday at all but they said it was and they were celebrating? Hmmm.

So we’re at the house and Matt is noting how their wedding anniversary is in September. Amy thinks her perm is awful. Amy also is still annoyed that Matt helped with nothing at the original wedding. Now we have cute home movies of the r thought young roloffs – I kinda like the perm. Amy notes how she never thought she’d have a normal life. The undertone is that Matt made a quick completely unthought decision while Amy was thinking no one would ever marry her. 

So Molly and Jeremy are home, playing pool. Molly notes how they basically goofed off the last 25 years. Jeremy wants to make a movie of how they love mom and dad. Zach manages to make it about soccer. Jeremy’s glasses really aren’t attractive.

Matt tells Amy they’re going to have their own party apart from the whole endless roadtrip thing they did prior. Amy doesn’t want a formal thing. Matt wants some sort of bachelor thing. Matt notes how he and Amy have completely different friends. Amy thinks that if they can’t make the party work then they’re sunk. Amy also thinks appetizers are no biggie. Amy notes how difficult Matt is to work with. They basically bitch at each other for a few minutes.

Amy voices over how she’s fun and crazy. She hauls out the wedding gown. To be honest, I think she was a lovely bride.  Now we’re at the wedding bakery. Matt notes how he didn’t bother helping her with wedding prep before and now is all “I’m a MAN! ME HATE NOT MANLY THINGS!” Matt, it’s a frigging cake. He keeps harping on a cake shaped like a barn.
Now they are making Sven take their photo in various places. Matt continues harping on seeing the barn in the photos. Sven runs off in a snit then comes back and now Amy and Matt argue again. Its pretty typical. Matt notes how they may not survive the anniversary. There’s more endless complaining and fighting and picture taking.

Apparently Zach still lives at home and they are all going to Spokane to see Molly. Amy admits she doesn’t plan well but also thinks Matt is super anal about schedules. They drive off in a new silver man and Matt makes a sexist comment.

So Matt notes how they are fighting and Molly will miss the party. Molly and Jake hug. Everyone hugs. Molly likes school. Molly seems to be a bit broken out face wise.  So they wander about Whitworth. Amy has a ton of stuff for Molly’s room. The roommate is nice.  There’s lots of fond memories from Amy and dorm stuff. Aw it’s a cool college area. Molly notes how 25 years is a big deal. There’s lots of home movies and fond memories.

So back to the farm. Matt goes on about how dirt and sand should be a traditional gift idea. Matt is annoyed that the boys aren’t supporting his idea to serenade her with rap music.  Meanwhile Amy makes craft projects from her pictures. Amy notes how really, they kinda lived separate lives, which is kinda sad sounding although I see why it isn’t.

Matt bitches about Amy. Amy notes how Matt should be happy to wait for her. They argue about the potties and the tables. Sven yells at them. Matt wants to dump sand for some reason. 

Meanwhile Jeremy and Zach break out the Kitchenaide. It’s clearly a staged scene. Caryn wanders in to say remove the haybales. Matt wants the haybales and sand! Amy wants flowers and photo collages.

Meanwhile the cake looks like something I made with school pal Jennifer when we were eight and my sister and Jennifer’s sister were 11. It looks bad but it tasted pretty awesome in the treehouse

Matt notes how party planning is not his thing. Not a great statement from someone running a wedding venue. Meanwhile Amy gussies herself up in her wedding dress and has her hair done. Amy notes how she barely knew Matt when she married him. It’s kinda sweet tho that despite the fights she says she still loves him. To be fair, Amy looks good in the dress.

So now we have a cake with a Precious Moments figurine on top. Matt is all wow the dress. Oh look, Audrey identified as Jeremy’s girlfriend with no words or commentary. Matt does some sort of rapping thing. I agree with Amy… he seems to have had a few drinks.  Then they do the cake shoving tradition I don’t like.

Then we get the obligatory scene of the kids saying how cool mom and dad are. Then there’s a game like the newlywed show where they ask rude questions.  Matt gets nothing right.
Oh hey, TLC has a show about twins married to the same man!

Back to the barn, what is Amy’s fav flower? She likes daisies! Amy professes to not know what the Mile High Club is. And apparently ALL the brides got branding irons and now Matt and Amy have one and Amy brands a piece of wood with the brand…. Now Jeremy brings in the red velvet cake. Amy notes its kinda horrid. Then Matt and Amy dance. Amy has moves.

This was way dull but I will be honest… my heart isn’t in it. That little town Sandy Hook looks so much like my home town… all those little kids… I’m more maudlin than anything else today. 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm Roloff Episode Television Ratings December 11, 2012

For the first time in a long time, Little People, Big World failed to crack the top 100 cable shows for the evening of Tuesday December 11, 2012. has the Top 100 Cable Shows for Dec 11, 2012. Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm on TLC didn't make the cut.

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm Roloff Episode Review Dec 11, 2012

This review was written and submitted by Rap541

Ok, so for some reason, there’s no rerun of the prior episode, and instead there’s some “I’m obsessed with Christmas decorations” show. I switch over to Law and Order SVU. Oh, over on TelevisionWithoutPity, various posters came up with a drinking game for this show. Here it is.

Drink when Matt or Amy says "We could lose the farm!"
Drink when Amy says "We're hemorrhaging money!"
Drink when Matt says "This could be a disaster!"
Drink twice if Jeremy/Zach/Jake or Molly are on.
Drink if livestock wanders into the "bridal suite"
Drink if Matt tells us how he thinks big and Amy thinks small
Drink twice if Amy says a variation of "I'm not your employee" to Matt
Drink three times if she slams a door
Chug when Matt dumps a crappy chore on Amy (like say, telling people to get the hell out of the barn)
Drink whenever Matt puts his head in his hand and shakes his head a bit, like poor Mr. Put-Upon Husband, who tries so hard, but for that wife of his. Whatever shall he do. Awwww.

Drink whenever Amy reminds us, as if the vicious fights aren't enough of a clue, that the two of them just don't work together very well.

Drink whenever we see Rocky in the background. I like to keep track of whether the poor dog is still living.

Another drink whenever we see Spike, Molly's cat, who her dad promised he'd take care of. Because I'm really worried about Spike now.
Take a drink if a Roloff mentions being an empty nester
Chug if fifteen year old Jake is right there to hear it.
Drink if the Roloffs are on their "last family vacation" again
Drink if all the kids are working an event and Amy tonguebathes Jeremy while ignoring the other kids.
Drink if Matt mentions his failing health or his childhood of torture
Drink twice if he mentions what he could have accomplished if he was average height
Drink three times if he actually collapses
Chug if Amy makes a joke about wishing he was dead
Chug twice if she’s clearly not kidding
Drink: Amy huffs as she is getting into her car, purse swinging to her side, and she slams the car door.
Drink if Matt answers the phone in the middle of a conversation with Amy, and she keeps saying, "DON'T ANSWER THAT WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

This isn’t all we came up with, I skipped the ones that were more orientated to the older episodes.

Anyway, the final wedding, and the second to last episode of this miniseries. The final episode is Amy and Matt celebrating their own wedding anniversary in a special fashion for the second time in approximately five months. Previously, parking was a disaster and Amy was giving people the boot.

Now we have previews about a wedding being set up in ten days with a Hawaiian theme. So while I think this is all fake, I would point out that really, maybe they shouldn’t take clients with extremely short time frames if it’s such a problem. Particularly if they’re going to complain about it.

Matt begins by complaining about how all these darn guests dare damage plants and apparently plants don’t water themselves. Hard to believe that wedding venues involve actual upkeep! Matt notes how Zach and Jake do NOTHING to help out. Matt notes asking Jake to do something is a waste of breath. Ah yes, expecting a teenager to want to work in the summer…. I seem to recall Jeremy abandoning pumpkin planting for fun at this age. Nice to see Jake, at the same age, emulating the Golden Boy’s bad behavior. Oh and Matt? Lil hint – if you’re actually upset by Jake not helping, do something other than *nothing*. Your kids walk away and goof off because you do *nothing* to correct the behavior.

Matt wants the grass off limits. Ironic that he later covers it with sand. Amy says Matt needs to ease off the visions. Now it just happens that Shannon and her beau need a wedding venue unexpectedly. The wedding will be smaller, and in ten days!

Shannon and Joe get the obligatory tour of the farm. Apparently this is their second choice and money is an issue. Hmm, is anyone surprised? Shannon wants leis and a bamboo arbor. The whole change from Oahu to Portland seems odd but ok. Matt of course is all “I get to do stuff!” and brags about his projects. Amy says they will do what they can… Matt gives her a death glare.

Meanwhile Zach is all into soccer and doing his own thing and expresses how he isn’t interested in the wedding business that isn’t actually real.

Matt and Sven decide to build a volcano because brides really want explosions at their wedding. Matt “Yeah baby’s!” over how it is. Camerino notes how it may not work. Camerino speaks!

Amy looks on at the volcano mess as Camerino moves culverts. Amy seems amused by the plans for fire and a fog machine. Amy asks if Shannon and Joe even know about it .More on this later. Amy haybales how this project stuff sometimes blows up. Amy notes how Matt is out of control and spending all their money. If only she had said “hemorrhaging” money!

Matt fake woos! And fake shouts for the camera “We got a volcano! Just Like I ENVISIONED IT!” But how to make an eruption? Matt explains to Sven, Camerino, and Amy how the explosion will be involved gasoline. Amy notes how all this talk of lighting gasoline sounds e extremely dangerous. Sven snots at Amy. Amy walks out. For the record, napalm and flamethrowers aren’t really words you want to hear in connection to a wedding.

Now we have Joe and Shannon explaining how they’re nice people. They have kids. The daughter is six and they apparently waited to get married until the kids were old enough to understand the wedding. They seem nice.

Now Matt is moving the tiki hut from yesteryear to the wedding area. He also wants to cover the grass with sand for the wedding and they’re “burning the candle at both ends”. Zach wanders in, and Matt says he had hoped this would be a *family* business. Basically this is a forced chat where Matt wants Zach to be on the farm. Matt finds it sad that no one wants to take over the farm. I’m thinking Matt has difficulty understanding that people aren’t required to be on his wavelength.

Sven has an idea for an eruption. Matt makes a big deal about baking soda and vinegar like this isn’t the science experiment we all did in third grade. It fails, because its actually more of a wet reaction than a fire reaction and Matt wants a boom so now Matt gets out the fog machine. Because brides like fog at their wedding, and people who like Hawaii are into volcanos.
Ironically later at the wedding, I didn’t spot any fog, so count that in the “money pissed away” pile.

Zach, Amy, and Matt go to lunch so they can stage a scene for the cameras. Zach is all “I’m gonna move out”. Amy asks if he is reenrolling in school. Interesting what *that* indicates. Matt makes a big deal over Zach and his two pals getting a year lease. They both ask if he will be sad, and Matt hay bales how Zach is a dumbass making a mistake as he hasn’t thought this through. Matt is such a supportive dad, isn’t he?

Matt and Amy rehash the whole thing later in the kitchen. Matt hay bales how it’s a waste of money and he and Amy debate how they basically haven’t taught Zach anything about living in this world. Matt hilariously notes how he wishes Zach was *buying a house* instead of simply moving out (because god knows homebuying on Zach’s salary at Indoor Goals is realistic) and snits how now he can’t even count on Zach being around for the weddings and here he was wanting to give the business to Zach.

Mat and the planner disagree on the sand. Matt wants his way and makes it clear how he can easily do all the sand but no, it’s not wanted. I must admit, I think it would look nice but I also see where a bride might not want to deal with it. Also here’s another reason why I don’t think anyone paid for these weddings. Um… I don’t pay for things I don’t contract for. Matt’s surprise volcano? Where the guest may or may not like it? Do you really think he billed the bride and groom for all the money and labor he threw at that? What about that fog machine? The truckloads of sand no one really asked for?

Now we’re setting the arch. Matt and the wedding planner debate who is right. Again, Matt wants his sand and notes how the planner thinks it will be a little sand but he wants a dump truck of sand. And he respectfully does it behind Justine’s back. Fortunately she likes it.

Now Matt wants to force Zach to participate so Zach’ll see how stupid Zach’s plans are when he could be his daddy’s whipping boy forever. Apparently there’s some issue with the photographer and Zach is going to be the security on keeping them out. Matt tells Zach to step up. And now back to the volcano. It looks kinda lame. Matt notes that “IT’S A DISASTERRRR!”

So the vendors are setting up. There’s trash and garbage all over the barn. There’s curtains? They look bad. Matt sees the bridal party arriving. There’s bridal preparations. Meanwhile Matt wants to dump more sand. Now we have Matt fake shouting how he loves sand and attention! But mostly attention! Justine puts the kibosh on the sand, and Amy agrees. Matt now needs to prove his masculinity by making the volcano explode. 

Matt complains about Zach not being there. Camerino and Sven tell him to quit it. Now the rogue photographer wants in and Matt tells him to leave and notes how this was supposed to be Zach’s job. Zach has failed his father again! How dare he go to his job not on the farm! And apparently the bride’s dress is missing and it’s soon to be a disaster!

Matt, another little hint. If you understand that Zach has a job away from the farm and he tells you that, and that he’ll be back at a certain time, then you end up looking like a demanding ass, complaining that the employee who made sure to let you know he wasn’t available, isn’t available. When an employee tells you they won’t be there, your job as the boss is to handle it.
So the guests are getting restless. The dress is found! Meanwhile Matt is still complaining how Zach isn’t there dealing with it. As the rogue photographer finally leaves, Matt snickers how he loves confrontation. The wedding is finally moving. As Shannon voices over her wedding tale, I see how all the dirt and sand might be an issue for the wedding dress…. The curtains at the door looks really bad. The groom crying is sweet. Amy tells the planner that they’re gonna be lucky if the volcano blows at all. The newlyweds suck face.  There’s photos. Amy calls Matt about her texts about the volcano.

 Zach finally shows up from Indoor Goals. Matt seems annoyed. The reception has a tent. Matt notes how his project the volcano is really the most important thing. There’s a cool fire dance. I can totally see all the guests shrieking causing noise complaints. Matt notes how this volcano and wedding is all about him! But will it work?

Commercial break – well played as always, TLC.

So now everyone is chanting “blow it up” Matt notes that the middle of the wedding is a great time for an explosion. Matt notes how failure is not an option. It poofs fire. Yeah, I’ll be honest, I don’t think they paid for it. I’d be annoyed if I paid money for it.

Zach is packing actual trash for his move. Amy now seems more supportive. Zach may or may not take the couch. Amy reminds him out he’s on a budget now. Zach drama queens how he’s stress sick. Amy notes how he’ll need to make his little man meals from now on. Matt says something about Zach leaving that is basically platitudes. Amy notes how Matt probably expected Zach to stay on the farm since he’s such a waste.

Matt and Amy reflect on how awesome they are to be empty nesters finally. They both seem possibly a lil drunk.

Next week, Sven shouts at the two of them, and we have the second “it’s our 25thanniversary!” episode in the last five months. Hey perhaps Rocky can disappear for this one too?

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Matt and Amy Roloff Appealed Case Vs Washington County

This isn't breaking news since it was filed several months ago, however, we haven't mentioned it until now. Since the matter of whether or not the Roloffs are invested in this site or not has been raised and debated recently, we thought this might be a good time for this item.

A few months ago, Matt and Amy Roloff filed documents to the Ninth Circuit Court appealing the decision for their case against Washington County. As most know, the Roloffs basically lost badly in that case.

The judge threw out all the constitutional claims and reduced it to a simple trespassing charge. Shortly after that decision, the Roloffs and the County apparently reached a settlement and the case was closed.

Well, the Roloffs are appealing. What might be of interest to our readers, is that the Roloffs are specifically mentioning their failed attempt to subpoena Spiritswander (for all my personal information, informational about my email address and the personal information about anyone who has ever, in the 4 year history of the Blog, issued a comment to the blog.). We filed a Motion to Quash the subpoena. The judge then ruled in our favor, against the Roloffs, and quashed the subpoena.

This is what the Roloffs and their attorney wrote in their reason for appeal:

 Briefly describe the result below and the main issues on appeal.

"The trial court granted summary judgment in favor of Washington County on all claims except the Plaintiffs' trespass claims. The main issues on appeal are the decisions of the trial court on the Plaintiffs' claims under the 4th Amendment to the Constitution and the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution. The Plaintiffs are also challenging the trial court's decision to quash a subpoena issued earlier in the case."

For our readers that supported our Motion to Quash and oppose Matt and Amy Roloff being given your personal and private information, at this point there is nothing to be concerned about and really there's nothing to do. Generally, appeals rarely are successful because they need to prove that the judge made a mistake in the case and said mistake had an effect on the outcome of the case. And even if the Roloffs were successful on the appeal, then the whole subpoena process would start over again.

The next decision for the appeal isn't until February 2013.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm: Episode 4 December 4th, 2012: Review

Here are the episode reviews for the LPBW Wedding Farm episode 4 Dec 4th:


Written by Rap541

Sigh. This is on so late…. I watched the rerun of LPBW and really… I mostly don’t remember it. I did watch a dvd of Breaking Bad this weekend and it was really good. Really dark, darker than Battlestar Galactica, and of course there was a lot more meth, but good stuff.

So the previews are hilarious, Amy shouting at the 350 people. Bran? And Michael want 350 and that might be too much and Amy IS ASKING THEM ALL TO LEAVE! OHNOES!

How will Matt save the day?

Amy forces granola on Matt. Matt notes there’s two wedding s down and now Matt wants to go big or go home by using Craiglist. Amy notes how Matt isn’t thinking. Matt fake shouts “The skies the limit!”

Meanwhile Amy is all about her charity and how she does a charity for children charities and its tough! She’s having it in the barn and she HAS AN IMPACT! She notes how anything can happen.

Oh, its *Bree* and Mike and Bree loves country barn weddings and used Craiglist to find a romantic barn. They met at a gym. They want a giant wedding. Matt  haybales how they finally have a big wedding. Amy notes how her charity project is also super important. Hmm possible conflict? I mean why schedule these events on different days if you want conflict? Because they seem to be on different days despite all the whining. The farm can’t do two different events on two different days?

Bree wants a chandelier, a field, and a barn. Maybe a trellis with the chandelier?  Now we’re on the Mule, looking at the barn. Matt notes how the caterers will have a different access. Amy notes how this is the same weekend as her charity event. I sense issues. I also note that the same weekend is not the same day and most professional wedding venues can have two weddings on the same day and I doubt Amy’s event was the same day as the wedding.

Matt heads off to the lumber barn. Mike of the wedding disses the distressed barn wood Matt attempts to offer. Matt and Mike look at wood. Mike wants Matt to give him good wood. Mike wants the good wood at the bottom of the pile. Matt doesn’t want to give his wood to Mike. Because its his *special * wood.
All this talk about Matt’s wood… Is this why the show is on so late? Wood jokes?

Meanwhile Amy is juggling her event with Matt’s. Apparently the wedding Planner is named Molly. Essentially there’s lots of details and Matt dumps it on Amy and she disses him and walks out. In other words, it’s every episode of LPBW.

So ten days before the wedding and we’re walking thru. And there’s chickens, and Bree wants a chandelier in the barn. There are cocktails and appetizers and all sorts of fancy stuff to plan for. Matt wants a tent but this is never suggested on screen. There’s no final guest list, there’s caterers and the trellis for the chandelier is slow. And there’s Amy’s event at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME! Even though its not.

A little person sets tables for something .Oh, it’s Amy’s charity event that never mentions the name of her charity or the recipients this year. Amy is having her event. Amy goes on about her charity and how she wants to raise 200k. It’s all so important yet clearly less messed up than the wedding. Oh and PUMKIN season!

Meanwhile we see construction guys doing manly stuff. Ironically, I wasn’t really watching for it but I never a chandelier anywhere…  Did I miss it? Matt insists that Mike seduced him into giving up good wood. Matt laments about his wood.  This is all so sexual. I mean why not just have someone in a “GOT WOOD?” t-shirt?

So we’re at the charity event. Oh look Zach speaking how awesome he is mom is. Amy speaks at her own event. Amy notes that she’s 50 with four kids and still married. She notes that the party has started. Insert staid party montage.

Oh hey the neighbors are annoyed with the music at 9:30. Matt notes that Amy is hardcore because she shuts down the music after police complaints. Just so we’re all on the same page, I can, and have, called in noise complaints over loud music. Anyone whining defense for the Roloffs needs to remember that the land they are using isn’t commercially zoned and this is large loud event number three.

So Matt wants some structure moved – the trellis? Matt screeches YAY! YAY! YAY! I don’t see how this was hard. There’s wedding prep. A dance floor is laid out. It’s 9:30 am. Amy worried that the wedding isn’t prepped. Matt is all worried about Brianna’s day. Matt greets Molly the planner with news about the crapper. He haybales how managing the crappers is his duty.

Bree seems pleased about everything, including the chickens all over the bridal suite. Amy tells Matt how the set up is sucking. There’s funs stuff with Bree and the Chickens and oh hey, the power went out. In the background I spot the raised chicken coop and there’s chickens everywhere!


FYI wherever chickens go, chicken crap follows. I assure you, it does not smell like air freshener, unicorns or cupcakes.

So there’s a power issue in the bridal suite. Amy sends Matt. Matt and Bree chitter to the cameras and there’s chickens IN the house.  So the power comes back on and the bridesmaids chase the livestock out of the house while Matt notes how people should expect this on a farm. He notes “Yahhh” over it and then fake shouts at the chickens. Matt intones how important parking is and how orderly parking must be. Jake, who is 15 and maybe 130 pounds wet is deemed Matt’s heavy. So caterers show up and Zach is forced to be on camera slicing bread as is Amy. This never happens in real weddings seriously, food service people don’t let random helpers do stuff. People are crashing the wedding and now the water pressure is dropping. Molly the Planner bitches at Matt, everyone bitches at Matt , Matt notes how legit the crashers look! There’s lots of yammering about no water, and crashing, and guests invading the bridal suite!

Oh hey a commercial break.

Hey a few thoughts on why this isn’t a real business? Here’s a few. In a real wedding venue, people actually sue over nonsense like livestock infestations. Oh and hey, maybe security and guest control shouldn’t be on a bunch of unsupervised kids who pretty clearly don’t give a crap about anything. I mean really, the *power* went out? Someone paid for *that*?
No one paid for a wedding venue with no electricity and chicken crap everywhere. I was raised with chickens. Where ever chickens go, chicken crap follows. No one pays for a “bridal suite” with no power and chickens inside the house.

So now we’re griping about the guest lists, there’s no water, and Matt intones how they aren’t ready for such a big wedding! Sven is told by Matt to try the water. Now Matt has to deal with security. Somehow random people from a different wedding are arriving. Jake notes how stressful it is. Caryn and Matt argue. There’s shouting and bitching and Amy and Matt shout at each other. Matt notes how the parking area is a mess. Yeah don’t make a 15 year old in charge. (Lest anyone think I’m defending Jake, please ask yourself – a fifteen year old was “the heavy” for a parking situation involving 350 people?)

Now there’s a wedding and there’s clouds and thunder and Amy and Matt note how risky it was to not have a tent. Yet the wedding g happens with no one saying a word. The wedding seems sweet, pity we saw next to nothing of THIS couple. My guess? They didn’t have a sob story or a project for Matt to whine about. Oh a female preacher.  Oh Matt notes to Amy how it’s his way or the highway. Oh the wedding is rained on. The chick preacher is funny. Then God slams down the storm. Oh hey the barn can’t hold all the guests. Matt notes to the camera how he’s on record that he can’t allow all the people that he’s not stopping at all from taking shelter from  the rain in the barn.  Funny how he makes no effort to actually stop the over crowding .

So its RAINAPOCOLYPSE! Amy tells Matt she’ll kick people out if that bitch Molly the Planner and Matt won’t do it. Amy tells everyone to get to hell out. She’s so clearly pissed. She tells everyone how it’s the wedding planner’s fault. Matt whines. Amy tells him to shut his bitch mouth since he didn’t get off his ass to tell people to get out.  Apparently this wrapped up nicely despite everyone being told to get to hell out? Yes. Oh hey Matt finds a ton of people suddenly touring the farm because hmmm. Aren’t these the same people who consider every single part of their property intensely private but make no real effort to displace interlopers? 

But it’s a success! Matt notes how he was stresses but this was all utterly perfect. . Amy interrupts him to kick out people.

Next week its stupid projects and bitching about Zach and making Zach move out.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm - Roloff Family Episode Review November 27, 2012

Podge/Rodge Groupie and Rap541 both graciously volunteered to review the episode:

Written by Podge/Rodge Groupie:

Well, as usual, we open with an argument between Amy and Matt. I agree with Amy, Matt has issues. I agree with Matt, Amy needs to buck up. Lovely. 

Molly's off to college. We meet Trevor. I trust Molly is going out maintaining her station in society with Trevor being a coed of Faith, a private school, we'll see. Amy does the mommy-daughter thing. Very nice. Later, when Molly is packing, Matt enter her bedroom to try the daddy-daughter thing. Not very nice. By far the most footage of Molly's bedroom. Ever. Whoopee.

Matt's getting the farm ready. Sven says he is a poopy manager. Matt doesn't get it. I really really wish Matt would stop his contrived shouting, that is just putrid. Matt spend a lot of time with his manager, doesn't he? I just love the shot of the farm when Matt and Amy are riding in the stagecoach and you can see the Porta-Potties against the back of the barn. His road for the carriage has to go past ALL his wonderful attractions. 

The bride and groom's story is nice, it should be a much bigger part of the show than Matt "it's all about me" Roloff. I used to be a mortician. We had the odd hiccup. We even made rare small mistakes. We handled it in a much more professional and much more secretive manner than these people. It's just sickening to see these 'planners'(?) parading their stupidity in front of God and the whole world. It's more than obvious Matt couldn't organize a three man race to a two seat outhouse. But, these people are PROUD of it? Yikes. My biggest problem is, I have trouble registering my complete disgust with Matt for barging his way into the wedding of the two people. Look readers, they supply the venue. Period. What in heaven's name is he doing asking them how they like the western town when they're getting wedding photos taken. Can you imagine myself, telling people that, "You know, we designed this visitation room just for your dad's funeral. We had this vision of you people burying your loved one here." What right do they think they have? Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. I suppose I should be used to Matt doing the "It's your wedding, but it's ALL about our farm and us and our self-serving show" thing. Like as in, Zach must forego his job and get back to the farm to run around because the cake got dropped or screwed up or goodness knows what. It's amazing how everything is an absolute disaster, and a catastrophe. 

Oh, one more thing. Matt did more of his "so gosh-darn awesome" bit with the Navy and defense of his country thing. He so happy he got a front row seat to someone else's wedding? One more time - he is supplying the venue. Period.


 Written by Rap541

So basically I am trying not to complain how late this is but really, for a family show? FYI LPBW is on at the same time as the new episode of HardCore Pawn. AND I had to stay up last night to catch Revolution… which at least had sword fights.

Anyway, yes, on a rewatch, an important note needs to be made. The reception, including food etc, was done at the farm which means people were crapping in porta potties at the reception. Yeah, I understand economizing, but I expect flush toilets when I marry. Also Matt’s “she has to answer me” is a tad sexist. Oh, and the wedding gift the Roloffs gave was a branding iron.

So Molly is off to college and Matt is pissed that it’s conflicting with his plans! Sven opines how Matt pisses him off and Caryn dumps a wedding cake into the dirt! Excitement! 

Oh look Matt complaining how the business took a beating. The landscaping is *ruined* and the business is a bust! Amy and Matt chat about the gravel and Amy notes how it was 3500 dollars for the gravel. Matt wants to restrict tents and possibly porta potties. Matt notes how awful it was that Amy didn’t respond to him on the phone. They bitch at each other over it. It’s unpleasant and essentially the same argument that we had last week. Amy notes how they are struggling with the business.

Molly, and Zach, and Tori and Trevor are off to the beach. Trevor is Molly’s “friend”. There is beach frolicking. 

Matt continues harping on the tent placement. There’s lots of placement discussion and bride discussion. Amy notes how there is no business but FINALLY a bride turns up. They seem like a nice couple, the soon to be newlyweds. A sweet Marine couple. Amy notes to the bride how awesome the barn is. The bride likes the country theme and the barn theme. Christine and Levi need a specific date. Levi is a mechanic in Japan for the Corps. That’s an *awesome* Marine job. And the wedding is in two weeks! TWO WEEKS! 

Molly is doing a double major. At the beach they hang out at the rocks that I think were in the Goonies. Molly notes how it does not yet seem real. 

The bride has colors, and a theme. The wedding planner is *gushing* how awesome it is. Matt wants to use the stage coach that he spent money on and never actually used. Christine likes horses and Levi is “country” so the stage coach idea is a go. They’re inviting 200 people. There’s two weeks to prepare and Matt is being left on his own like a big boy because selfish Amy is taking Molly to college! 

Matt notes that the roads are like pie crust! Western town must be repaired! Matt needs to figure out if his stage coach is actually functional! And a loading dock needs to be built! Matt is a MAN! He’s building! 

Meanwhile Amy is taking Molly on a mother daughter day. Molly is a good sport about the golfing. It’s a classic silly competition but kind of fun. Amy notes how all the DBU is still swinging single. Molly has no interest in even having a boyfriend. 

Meanwhile Matt yells while hay bales and cannons are placed about the Western town. Matt notes how Marines impress him because his dad was a Marine. Sven and Matt argue. Sven is frustrated that Matt is throwing a ton of work at him at Western town. Caryn actually defends Sven. Sven calls Matt a bad manager. I note that this is a really short segment and now we’re back to commercials.

After commercial, no fight, and Matt notes how Sven calmed down and did as he was told. Matt builds the loading dock, he fake shouts about building the loading dock! 

Then we get to the stage coach which btw is a replica and has to be tested. Matt is of course lifted into the coach, followed by Amy. It’s a TINY coach. Matt notes how it’s amazing and how they’re firing on all cylinders! Everyone is doing stuff but matt must bull doze a route to Western Town! FOR SAFETY! A road must be built! Because Matt is all about the safety!! Zach and Sven are attacked by bees. 

Its sweet that the bride has her little brothers give her away. 

Molly’s room is a pigsty. She doesn’t want to be messy at college. Matt comes in to have a sweet moment. He agrees with me that Molly photographs well. There’s a lengthy monologue on life and raising kids. Matt chokes up. 

Oh look a commercial. 

It’s the day of the wedding! Molly notes that the cats know she is the only one who protects them. Matt notes how Amy and Molly taking off is a pain. Molly is made to pack her own vehicle while Matt watches. Oh Jake wanders in to lift her bike and his hair is long and in his hay bales its very short. Amy is all “I’m an empty nester!” She notes Jake will miss Molly the most, which I think is likely. There’s sweet moments as Molly drives off to her future.

Back to losing the farm. There’s tents, Tori fills in for Amy, and Zach is working. Matt is openly horrified by the vulgar truck that has… a pig’s butt on it and makes sure we don’t see it. Who knew Matt, who called people cheap douchebags is sooo hypersensitive about pig nudity! Meanwhile Caryn screws up the bride and groom cake and it’s *ruined*! 

Cue commercial! 

Matt notes how dumb Caryn was to ruin the cake. It’s AWFUL! Meanwhile the bride and groom are very sweet and btw I totally don’t think they paid for this. Matt thinks Levi is breathtaking in his uniform. I must agree. I like the bridesmaids outfits. It was inexpensive but cute. 

Caryn sends Zach for the cake, and there’s a wedding! Meanwhile Matt checks on the horses. There doesn’t seem to be an actual problem but Matt is pretty freaked out. Matt notes how its almost a complete disaster but not, and it all ends perfectly. Meanwhile Zach and Tori could still screw it up and don’t. 

Matt is amazed at the idea of someone being married in his western town. Meanwhile there’s something wrong with the cake? Or not? 

The cake is too big. Matt notes how awful it is. The new smaller cake is pretty tiny but no one seems to care since they engage in the cake smearing tradition I don’t like. Everything goes well. Christine notes how the wedding was given to her and there’s various shots of the wedding.

Matt rolls around on the stage coach for the cameras. 

Meanwhile on car cam, Molly is dumped off at college. There’s a lot of sweet jabber from Matt and Amy on how awesome Molly is. 

Next week, Amy starts pitching people out! 

To be honest this was slow. Without Amy and Matt fighting, it’s just Matt yelling at us about how it’s almost a disaster except completely not.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Ratings For Little People, Big World: Wedding Series: Featuring Roloff Family On TLC

There have been some inquiries as to the ratings thus far for the first two episodes of Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm on TLC.

So far, TLC has planned 6 episodes in the LPBW Wedding Farm series. Two episodes have aired.

Here were the ratings.

Episode 1: Tuesday Nov 12th LPBW: WEDDING FARM TLC 9:00PM 
1.656 Million viewers and 0.6 in the key 18-49 demographic.

Episode 2: Tuesday Nov 20th LPBW:WEDDING FARM TLC 9:00 PM
1.022 Million viewers and 0.3 in the key 18-49 demographic. 

Week one was higher than many TLC shows. TLC has been doing very poorly in the ratings as of late. Many of the TLC shows do not reach even 1.2 million (although one of the new TLC hits is "Breaking Amish" which received a 3.063 rating and 1.3 in the key demographic this past Sunday). However, as you can see, ratings dropped significantly for the LPBW Wedding series from week 1 to week 2.

Even Matt Roloff has admitted when ratings get around and below 1.0 for a cable series, that's when it's time to worry. Matt always attempts to put a positive spin on anything involving the Roloffs, and Matt made that ratings comment back in Season 5 of the regular LPBW series when ratings had dropped to the 1.2 level (Matt was attempting to imply there was nothing to worry about because at that point ratings were still above 1.0).

During the TLC glory days of Jon & Kate Plus 8 and LPBW, J&K used to regularly receive ratings in the 3's and LPBW often exceeded 2.0 or at least very high 1's.

By Season 4 and 5 (interestingly enough, it was around this time, later in the series, that Matt and Amy Roloff gained more power and achieved Executive Producer status, which they still have for the "specials" and for the "Wedding Farm" series), ratings for LPBW were dropping to the 1.2 - 1.0 level. Some episodes in Season 5 registered 1.0 and 1.1's. That's when TLC pulled the plug on the regular weekly LPBW series.

As we all know, TLC then agreed to periodic "update" specials (about 4 per year) of LPBW before announcing 6 episodes of the new "Wedding Farm" series. The LPBW "update specials" received ratings ranging between 1.3 and 1.7.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm Episode 2 - Nov 20th - Review

This is an episode review of the 2nd episode in the 6 episode series "Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm.

Review written and submitted by Rap541:


So here we are, and my goodness this show is on late. I mean, shoot, some of us work, you know! Now granted I have tomorrow off but really. I mean, it’s not like there’s zombies on this show.

A rewatch of the first episode is interesting. Scratch that, a rewatch of the first episode is mostly dull, but I duly note how time seems to flit all over the place and how this entire business seems to be a farce for the cameras. No worries, I spent most of my time outlining to an angry friend how secession was illegal and also how if it was somehow legal, that it would destroy any state’s economy. Lil hint – consider that a leaning severely right person like Matt Roloff isn’t considering secession. You know why? It’s a bad deal for the wealthy. Oh look, Matt muttering again how he might lose the farm yet again….. 

Also, I really hope they paint the little church because it looks weather beaten and also seems to be leaning. I wonder if people are allowed to be inside it? Hmmm. 

 Oh, one last observation on the prior episode. Two, really. The twins wore their dress sneakers to the graduation, and there’s one odd moment where the camera points at Matt and he makes one of his weird comical faces mugging for the camera. Just kind of odd that he’s doing that for the camera at Molly’s graduation. 

We start with a lengthy rehash of the episode we just saw and fresh new clips from the upcoming show. Cue credits. So there’s a mound of dirt and wedding season is already here with tons of money spent and nothing ready! Matt is freaked out! He notes how this is the first major change on the farm and it’s already a disaster. I swear, he’s as over dramatic as a teen age girl having her first time of the month. 

He wanders through the house on the property, and notes how it’s basically a tumbled down shack and completely. Oh look, a bride with a problem! Her venue has canceled at last minute and now we have a lengthy chat with the bride, Erica. Amy shows her around the unfinished stuff. Amy is pretty blunt on how stuff sucks and how people will be crapping in chemical toilets. Of course despite how it’s all a squalid nightmare and Erica and Jesse are basically broke anyway, this is going to be a good fit. Also there’s a terrible tragedy concerning Erica’s sister and of course that makes everyone happy about doing the wedding. I somehow suspect Erica is not actually paying the Roloffs. 

Oh look Jeremy’s here and he’s going to be Erica’s videographer because yeah, mommy and daddy got him a job. Matt goes on and on about how much he’s spent and how in the hole he will be. Zach doesn’t want an upfront role. Amy plans to be the bride helper and of course Matt needs all hands on deck. More scenes of the barn and landscaping. Matt does some fake shouting. The two of them wander around the dirt and disagree on what to do about the dirt. Matt periodically shoots down everything Amy suggests. Amy runs off, noting how she’s not actually Mat’s bitch. Now Matt is pissed that Molly took the Expedition and how could Amy not know that they needed the Expedition?? He leaves a passive aggressive voice mail on how Amy is ruining everything with her failure to stop Molly from using the Expedition.

An amusing aside, I don’t think Molly was even in this episode. Also, doesn’t Molly have her own car and were there any consequences to her ruining a work day? I mean, Molly girl, your daddy COULD LOSE THE FARM.

Amy comes into the meeting loudly noting how Matt is not to treat her like a piece of garbage again via cellphone. Matt plays innocent and indignant at the same time. Amy states she has no idea why Molly took the Expedition and then leaves, slamming the door as hard as possible as she goes. Matt makes it very clear with his body language how he’s the much put upon victim here. Interestingly, Amy also references “messages” suggesting that there was more than one “Amy, why are you so dumb as to let Molly take the most important vehicle when we both live in the same house as Molly and I could have said something as easily as you and didn’t since I’m up here and you’re down there” message. 

People on the Mule arguing over flowers. Matt notes how difficult Amy is. Matt wants a wall and Amy says no and Matt tells her to hesh. The female assistant, Caryn, who ultimately is all over this episode takes her side on the wall. And I must say, on several points, Amy makes some good sense in this episode. 

Back to Erica and the older woman who’s name I haven’t caught yet. This might have been her mom? This is a nice bit on how they are doing crafty bits and stuff to save decorating money since this is all being done for nothing. Erica misses her man. We meet Erica’s parents. They seem like nice people. There’s some teary “I love you” stuff. They want to acknowledge the dead sister with a photo at the wedding. 

Jacob and Matt drive around. There are references to Erica’s dead sister and how roads can be dangerous. Suddenly Matt is all about *safety*. Isn’t this the same guy who let his kids ride on top of the Mule’s roof? Oh hey, isn’t this guy the same guy whose excuse for slopping the car around the road to where he was taken for a drunk was that he needs to use peddles and just didn’t *bother* adjusting the peddles on the car he was in, thereby willfully driving unsafely? 

Matt bitches at Sven to make things perfect. Oh now we have Matt lamenting his status as a dwarf as if he was average height, everything would be better. He also snits how the work isn’t up to snuff. Then he moves Amy’s gazebo that had special meaning to the wedding site for general color. I’m curious what she will think about her special farm memories being altered. And then we’ve got seeds being planted. This is of course, touch and go, a hail mary, and Matt might not get a touchdown! He might lose the game! THEY COULD LOSE THE FARM. 

Of course, it’s increasing obvious that Erica isn’t paying for this at all, that she’s the lucky recipient of a free venue as long as she agrees to be filmed. 

Matt states his only priority is the wedding. But two weeks to the wedding, there’s no grass! Caryn makes it very clear that Matt better have a back up plan and Matt does not correct her as to who is in charge. I somehow think if Amy took that tone, Matt would be rolling his eyes to the cameras on how Amy has no faith in him and always thinks small. Lots of talk about special features, like a swing. Yeah, um, the swing is nice, don’t get me wrong, but it in no way makes up for the feces smell from the porta potties.We watch Matt, Sven, and Camerino swing for the cameras. Then there’s flowers for the “homebase office” for Matt and Amy. Now Matt shows Zach and Molly the barn. Wait… Zach and Tori. He askes Zach and Tory how cool the barn is. The bridal suite looks a bit dumpy still. Then in a weird segue way from discussing Zach and Tory it moves to how he barely knew Amy when he married her. Then he badmouths Amy to Zach and Tory, noting how she got her way and it’s awful

 Meanwhile the grass sucks. Matt is considering buying sod. Amy hay bales how they’re hemorrhaging money. Matt hay bales how Amy is cheaping out and is wrong about the sod. Matt asks for Rocky’s opinion. Amy refuses to agree on sod. Matt walks off noting how it’s never going to be ready. 

The commercial breaks are noticeably lengthy.

Amy shows Matt the bridal suite. Yeah, the inside is nice but the exterior looks bad. Part of this is simply the house itself. It’s got that “I was built in the late forties as cheaply as possible” look. Amy massages Matt’s back and he suggests they have sex in the bridal suite. Then more projects, a cute pergola and a dance floor. Real wedding planners come in to set up the tents and dining areas. It’s actually very nice and suddenly Matt thinks this wedding is amazingly important. Matt schmoozes with Erica and Jesse, as does Amy. Jesse seems nice. There’s a wedding rehearsal. Jesse is actually quite sweet in his nervousness. 

Matt notes that the grass grew and apparently Amy was right about not spending the money on sod. Note – he never says this, I am merely noting that Amy made the correct call which Matt does not acknowledge as he gleefully rolls in the grass and congratulates himself. Matt does a fakish “it’s a miracle!” – no mention of Amy being right. Now the family is “pitching in”. It’s not that it feels fake but it definitely feels staged. Meanwhile the wedding party is pretty natural seeming in comparison. Matt wanders out to bitch about the tent. Amy is worried the bridal suite isn’t ready. Matt freaks out and chides Amy from the hay bale on how completely wrong Amy is. Then we see a completely ugly little argument. Now, really, as entertaining as all this fighting is, I trust someone will let me know how this is “educating and advocating” for me to watch? And how this isn’t watching two people passive aggressively attack each other? Like on the Real Housewives?

Matt notes how he and Amy are at each other’s throats and Amy is so wrong. Matt is clearly blaming Amy for all this. Amy covers well with meeting Erica and takes them to the bridal suite. Now we have wedding stuff. Everyone gets wedding stuff on. There’s a minor issue with hornets. Then there is a fun moment with the bride and dad and family. Then Matt voices over how desperately important it was for the wedding to be successful since THEY COULD LOSE THE FARM. Oh, and THEY’VE INVESTED A LOT OF MONEY IN THIS. 

Then we have Matt saying how nothing would go wrong, and then high winds assault the harpist. Yeah, that’s funny

Matt notes how this really wasn’t that big of a deal as we return from commercial. The dad of Erica is very sweet. The preacher sounds twelve, which is cute. Then Matt and Amy kiss. Then there’s a party and we have Jeremy videographing. There’s an extensive moment Amy kisses Jeremy’s butt for being so fantastic. I didn’t really get the gift they gave the bride and groom but frankly I think the free wedding venue was enough. 

Matt notes how a plan comes together. Whatever he says on the hay bale was amazingly slurred. I didn’t catch it. Matt and Amy congratulate each other. 

Next week, despite constantly bitching how useless Amy is, Matt is affronted that Amy is leaving him to tend a wedding along because (insert gasp of horror) Amy has to take Molly to college! OHNOES!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm - Episode Review

Tonight will be the first episode of the Roloff show Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm. There will be six weeks of episodes.

Review written by Rap541

So let’s see, we’ve had an election, and I have a new laptop. Windows 8 is actually kind of exciting although FYI, it does not come with Microsoft Works. Also my keyboard is configured slightly differently so please forgive any misspellings. 

 Hmmm so the Roloffs are now doing a wedding business. I will be honest, on the one hand I have serious doubts about this business simply because I have to wonder what the zoning laws are… but having lived in a town that rolled over for Hollywood, my guess is that that coupled with the whining the Roloffs do, they got some dispensation. My point? Weddings aren’t “agritainment”. As it happens I think weddings are a good idea… I just don’t think it’s a real business in any sense. I think this is about getting back on tv. Funny… I always thought the Roloffs were strictly about teaching and learning. Let’s see what we learn. 

 Wow… this is on really late. I mean… I somehow don’t think this is going to include the seven words you can’t say on tv. What’s normally on during this time? I usually watch Law and Order reruns on Tuesdays (Law and Order in various variations is pretty much on all the time if you have cable. 

So anyway… weddings. So Matt goes on about how he has no idea what to do with the farm. I note that this is indeed a rehash of previous comments, on previous episodes. Matt announces to Amy that he wants do a wedding business. This will involve no landscaping and desperate brides. The credits change slightly. They zoom into the show and Matt says they’re investing no money into it? Did I hear it right? Maybe not. Matt notes how he’s a man with a penis so it will work and Amy openly caves. Matt says something in his fake screeching voice that I don’t understand. 

Matt has someone setting up the landscaping. Zach seems blah about it. Mat screeches again to Amy – I think it was “tada”. He has an extensive plan and Amy notes how ridiculous it is since there’s no plans. Matt wants to show her so off to a mule tour. The house is looked at. This is cute, as I recall at one point this house was where Zach was supposed to “bach it” with his male pals and have it be a crash pad but now Matt and Amy note all of its failings. The barn is pretty cool but is well a barn and Amy notes the plumbing and electrical issues. She notes how Matt being over budget is extremely common and that she worries about their debt load. Matt notes that Amy thinks small and he thinks big and he’s all about thinking big. The sneering undertone of course is how wrong Amy is to doubt him. 

Molly wanders in to discuss her graduation. Matt’s waxes philosophic on the graduation as Molly shows the grad invites. Molly photographs well. That’s a gift. Good for her. 

So we’re at the barn. Queue a lot of barn stuff and barn fixing. Apparently the barn is the reception area and Matt notes that the barn might not be big enough. 

So stuff is working but Matt is noting how Amy is being a BITCH again. We get a montage of Amy *being a doubting BITCH*. Amy is annoyed that Matt basically considers her nothing but his errand girl. Matt notes that she is the gofer. Amy haybales she isn’t a gofer. They have a fairly intense argument where Amy notes her role is not “Matt’s errand bitch”. Matt condescends how he was dealing with important building stuff. Matt basically faux improves the barn and wants to move Molly’s play church. Matt notes *again* how brilliant he was to put everything on skids, imparting this wisdom decisively. He notes how the church hasn’t moved in twenty years. I kinda beg to differ since there was an episode about this in season one or two where the church was moved…. Oh wait, best not to mention reality. 

Molly and Amy have “OMIGOD” sweet moments. 

Meanwhile Matt fake shouts “Let’s get some work done!” and “I need more dirt!” to show us how he’s the man. Amy demands an update. Amy and Matt chat and they plan to get brides out to see the venue. Amy notes how Matt still treats her like his helper monkey bitch. She leaves in a huff. 

Matt notes how the marriage is great despite the depiction. Amy harps on how everything sucks and is crap and how Matt is completely ridiculous. This is essentially Matt and Amy arguing for us. Then Matt notes how he “took Amy’s advice” and finished the barn and fake shouts “there’s fireworks going off in here!” and “She likes its!” as Amy sniffs derisively. 

Now we have wedding planners theoretically coming out. Matt notes how very frustrated he is with Amy and her “queenship” attitude over things. They snap at each other in an ugly fashion. Amy notes how this has to work or else TLC is going to run. Zack blergs how he and Tori love it and that’s all we see of Zach and Tori. In theory all the big Portland wedding planners showed… I have my doubts. Amy notes to the planners how there’s no real bathrooms. The planners ask about catering, tables and chairs, potable water. Amy says they have no idea what they are doing. Matt says they are making it up as they go along. Seriously no one in their right mind or who isn’t desperate or looking for a freebie is going to get married here. Why? Because there’s no flushing toilets and your guests have to drink bottled water and no one seems to have a plan if it rains. 

Meanwhile they are shooting a pumpkin commercial so they call Jeremy to show up because someone majoring in still photography will have insight into video. Matt screeches “AND PUMKINS AND PUMKINS AND PUMKINS” and it’s lame. 

Then we cut to a montage on the sacred tire swing. I die a little inside. Next they spray a faux rock thing on the barn and then Matt and Amy take Jake to buy jewelry for Molly. Hmm Jake is looking manly. They get Molly a watch?

Meanwhile Matt needs to show us all how he’s a man by moving the church “by himself”. There’s a lot of folksy joking with a bible. Matt notes the first move is crucial. He off course fake shouts “IT’S FREE” and then we are treated to an endless commercial ridden storyline surrounding the tiny church.

So back from commercial and Matt’s NOT GIVING UP. H e also shouts helpfully for camera time “LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD” and states how he’ll drag nothing but a beam to make a point. Because that will teach the church to mind him! He joyfully notes “WE’RE HERE!!” Everyone notes how incredible it looks. I note how the church really needs some paint and some de-dilapidation. Amy and Matt argue about how to “bling” it out. 

Jeremy wanders in for Molly’s graduation. They take pictures. I hope Jake sprouts up a bit because he’s a lil short. I see this time Matt gave enough of a crap to show up on time. Everyone beams with pride for Molly. It’s sweet. Oh and hey folks? The yellow sash? That Jeremy didn’t have? Is the indicator of someone who graduated *with honors*. In case there’s still debate there. 

There’s balloons. Matt does the fake shouting “ITS PLAY TIME!” and they give her the bracelet/watch. Matt takes us on a faux tour with Amy and tells us how beautiful it is and how they are soon to lose the farm because no wedding planners have called them back! THEY COULD LOSE THE FARM!! 

Yeah considering how TLC is footing this and how they aren’t advertising this business at all (oh and naysayers? Craiglist is not the be all and end all of advertisement.) I kinda have my doubts about Roloff Weddings. 

Meanwhile feel free to check out Matt’s support of someone whining how 100k United flyers just aren’t being comped to his standards anymore on his facebook. First world problems!

Review has been submitted by Podge/Rodge groupie:

Written by Podge/Rodge groupie -

Yes, Amy, here we go again. This is not going to be a blow-by-blow description of the episode, just a few comments and questions on the people therein. 

Matt's insecurity is showing through again with his always wanting to prove himself and going the extra mile and doing the next step and do something "extraordinary". 

I have a question about timing and budgets. Amy is always concerned about not having enough money, but Matt spends money like he already has it. 
I wonder about the timing of Matt's deal with TLC about doing this wedding show plan thing and getting paid off on it before he even started the project. He can't possibly have that much disregard for his children's futures as in college funds and the like, to spend it all on this wedding project without the guaranteed revenue. 

On the other side, When is Amy going to stop complaining about how Matt treats her, and just say no? Is this the "Christian" way of being obedient and subservient to your husband? How much money is involved in all this, when Amy still sticks around and puts up with all this treatment? 

Also, is anyone feeling that Amy is acting and playing the bit of the part of the "prima donna" with the way she reacts and handles her situation in all this? Matt and Amy's self-centeredness is well documented and is very very evident in this episode. No prior consultation with a wedding planner or an expert in the field, no concerns about zoning and building permits for public occupation with the county etc etc. Why did Matt not ask a wedding planner or caterer right from the get – go? It's obvious why Matt and Amy had personal connections to the weddings that they featured on the show, because the wedding planners in the Portland area were not going to use them. Of course they had absolutely no idea what they were doing, you were correct on that, Amy. 

Hey, I wonder who produced the television commercials? Molly's grad was a nice day version from the usual BS. And Matt was even early to the ceremony! Jacob was his usual very insightful self. And, if you read Amy's Facebook fan page, he certainly is not miserable because Matt and Amy left him at home and had Zach come back to look after him. Yeah you two, your kids come first. Always. Indefensible. More later. Just my first impressions.