Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm - Episode Review

Tonight will be the first episode of the Roloff show Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm. There will be six weeks of episodes.

Review written by Rap541

So let’s see, we’ve had an election, and I have a new laptop. Windows 8 is actually kind of exciting although FYI, it does not come with Microsoft Works. Also my keyboard is configured slightly differently so please forgive any misspellings. 

 Hmmm so the Roloffs are now doing a wedding business. I will be honest, on the one hand I have serious doubts about this business simply because I have to wonder what the zoning laws are… but having lived in a town that rolled over for Hollywood, my guess is that that coupled with the whining the Roloffs do, they got some dispensation. My point? Weddings aren’t “agritainment”. As it happens I think weddings are a good idea… I just don’t think it’s a real business in any sense. I think this is about getting back on tv. Funny… I always thought the Roloffs were strictly about teaching and learning. Let’s see what we learn. 

 Wow… this is on really late. I mean… I somehow don’t think this is going to include the seven words you can’t say on tv. What’s normally on during this time? I usually watch Law and Order reruns on Tuesdays (Law and Order in various variations is pretty much on all the time if you have cable. 

So anyway… weddings. So Matt goes on about how he has no idea what to do with the farm. I note that this is indeed a rehash of previous comments, on previous episodes. Matt announces to Amy that he wants do a wedding business. This will involve no landscaping and desperate brides. The credits change slightly. They zoom into the show and Matt says they’re investing no money into it? Did I hear it right? Maybe not. Matt notes how he’s a man with a penis so it will work and Amy openly caves. Matt says something in his fake screeching voice that I don’t understand. 

Matt has someone setting up the landscaping. Zach seems blah about it. Mat screeches again to Amy – I think it was “tada”. He has an extensive plan and Amy notes how ridiculous it is since there’s no plans. Matt wants to show her so off to a mule tour. The house is looked at. This is cute, as I recall at one point this house was where Zach was supposed to “bach it” with his male pals and have it be a crash pad but now Matt and Amy note all of its failings. The barn is pretty cool but is well a barn and Amy notes the plumbing and electrical issues. She notes how Matt being over budget is extremely common and that she worries about their debt load. Matt notes that Amy thinks small and he thinks big and he’s all about thinking big. The sneering undertone of course is how wrong Amy is to doubt him. 

Molly wanders in to discuss her graduation. Matt’s waxes philosophic on the graduation as Molly shows the grad invites. Molly photographs well. That’s a gift. Good for her. 

So we’re at the barn. Queue a lot of barn stuff and barn fixing. Apparently the barn is the reception area and Matt notes that the barn might not be big enough. 

So stuff is working but Matt is noting how Amy is being a BITCH again. We get a montage of Amy *being a doubting BITCH*. Amy is annoyed that Matt basically considers her nothing but his errand girl. Matt notes that she is the gofer. Amy haybales she isn’t a gofer. They have a fairly intense argument where Amy notes her role is not “Matt’s errand bitch”. Matt condescends how he was dealing with important building stuff. Matt basically faux improves the barn and wants to move Molly’s play church. Matt notes *again* how brilliant he was to put everything on skids, imparting this wisdom decisively. He notes how the church hasn’t moved in twenty years. I kinda beg to differ since there was an episode about this in season one or two where the church was moved…. Oh wait, best not to mention reality. 

Molly and Amy have “OMIGOD” sweet moments. 

Meanwhile Matt fake shouts “Let’s get some work done!” and “I need more dirt!” to show us how he’s the man. Amy demands an update. Amy and Matt chat and they plan to get brides out to see the venue. Amy notes how Matt still treats her like his helper monkey bitch. She leaves in a huff. 

Matt notes how the marriage is great despite the depiction. Amy harps on how everything sucks and is crap and how Matt is completely ridiculous. This is essentially Matt and Amy arguing for us. Then Matt notes how he “took Amy’s advice” and finished the barn and fake shouts “there’s fireworks going off in here!” and “She likes its!” as Amy sniffs derisively. 

Now we have wedding planners theoretically coming out. Matt notes how very frustrated he is with Amy and her “queenship” attitude over things. They snap at each other in an ugly fashion. Amy notes how this has to work or else TLC is going to run. Zack blergs how he and Tori love it and that’s all we see of Zach and Tori. In theory all the big Portland wedding planners showed… I have my doubts. Amy notes to the planners how there’s no real bathrooms. The planners ask about catering, tables and chairs, potable water. Amy says they have no idea what they are doing. Matt says they are making it up as they go along. Seriously no one in their right mind or who isn’t desperate or looking for a freebie is going to get married here. Why? Because there’s no flushing toilets and your guests have to drink bottled water and no one seems to have a plan if it rains. 

Meanwhile they are shooting a pumpkin commercial so they call Jeremy to show up because someone majoring in still photography will have insight into video. Matt screeches “AND PUMKINS AND PUMKINS AND PUMKINS” and it’s lame. 

Then we cut to a montage on the sacred tire swing. I die a little inside. Next they spray a faux rock thing on the barn and then Matt and Amy take Jake to buy jewelry for Molly. Hmm Jake is looking manly. They get Molly a watch?

Meanwhile Matt needs to show us all how he’s a man by moving the church “by himself”. There’s a lot of folksy joking with a bible. Matt notes the first move is crucial. He off course fake shouts “IT’S FREE” and then we are treated to an endless commercial ridden storyline surrounding the tiny church.

So back from commercial and Matt’s NOT GIVING UP. H e also shouts helpfully for camera time “LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD” and states how he’ll drag nothing but a beam to make a point. Because that will teach the church to mind him! He joyfully notes “WE’RE HERE!!” Everyone notes how incredible it looks. I note how the church really needs some paint and some de-dilapidation. Amy and Matt argue about how to “bling” it out. 

Jeremy wanders in for Molly’s graduation. They take pictures. I hope Jake sprouts up a bit because he’s a lil short. I see this time Matt gave enough of a crap to show up on time. Everyone beams with pride for Molly. It’s sweet. Oh and hey folks? The yellow sash? That Jeremy didn’t have? Is the indicator of someone who graduated *with honors*. In case there’s still debate there. 

There’s balloons. Matt does the fake shouting “ITS PLAY TIME!” and they give her the bracelet/watch. Matt takes us on a faux tour with Amy and tells us how beautiful it is and how they are soon to lose the farm because no wedding planners have called them back! THEY COULD LOSE THE FARM!! 

Yeah considering how TLC is footing this and how they aren’t advertising this business at all (oh and naysayers? Craiglist is not the be all and end all of advertisement.) I kinda have my doubts about Roloff Weddings. 

Meanwhile feel free to check out Matt’s support of someone whining how 100k United flyers just aren’t being comped to his standards anymore on his facebook. First world problems!

Review has been submitted by Podge/Rodge groupie:

Written by Podge/Rodge groupie -

Yes, Amy, here we go again. This is not going to be a blow-by-blow description of the episode, just a few comments and questions on the people therein. 

Matt's insecurity is showing through again with his always wanting to prove himself and going the extra mile and doing the next step and do something "extraordinary". 

I have a question about timing and budgets. Amy is always concerned about not having enough money, but Matt spends money like he already has it. 
I wonder about the timing of Matt's deal with TLC about doing this wedding show plan thing and getting paid off on it before he even started the project. He can't possibly have that much disregard for his children's futures as in college funds and the like, to spend it all on this wedding project without the guaranteed revenue. 

On the other side, When is Amy going to stop complaining about how Matt treats her, and just say no? Is this the "Christian" way of being obedient and subservient to your husband? How much money is involved in all this, when Amy still sticks around and puts up with all this treatment? 

Also, is anyone feeling that Amy is acting and playing the bit of the part of the "prima donna" with the way she reacts and handles her situation in all this? Matt and Amy's self-centeredness is well documented and is very very evident in this episode. No prior consultation with a wedding planner or an expert in the field, no concerns about zoning and building permits for public occupation with the county etc etc. Why did Matt not ask a wedding planner or caterer right from the get – go? It's obvious why Matt and Amy had personal connections to the weddings that they featured on the show, because the wedding planners in the Portland area were not going to use them. Of course they had absolutely no idea what they were doing, you were correct on that, Amy. 

Hey, I wonder who produced the television commercials? Molly's grad was a nice day version from the usual BS. And Matt was even early to the ceremony! Jacob was his usual very insightful self. And, if you read Amy's Facebook fan page, he certainly is not miserable because Matt and Amy left him at home and had Zach come back to look after him. Yeah you two, your kids come first. Always. Indefensible. More later. Just my first impressions.



Christine said...

How often can they repeat the same B.S.?

Amy: "We might go bankrupt and lose the farm if this doesn't work out!"

Uhhh Amy, we know this is only a way for you to get back on TV because that's what the Roloffsare - career tv reality whores.

Brandon said...

How I missed the very natural knock on the door entrances. Not staged or anything....cough cough.

I see Rick Loranger, the TLC contractor....er...Matt's contractor is back.

Ol' Rick seemed to disappear for a while when TLC wasn't footing the bill.

Timothy said...

I'm laughing during the staged Matt and Amy argument comment "Amy gets mad but gets over it quickly'....except if it's an County inspector and we think we can sue for $$$$...then she's an emotional wreck that holds onto it forever...

Brandon said...

Nice to see Jer come back and spread his wisdom in the area of photography and filming. Looks like his contribution to the commercial was to hold the little "take 5" sign before the paid TLC experts start filming. Haha.

Ashley said...

There's Jacob putting in his mandatory 2 second appearance.

Dave said...

Sorry, but I'm really amazed at Amy. I mean, it's been awhile since I've watched one of their programs, but tuning in tonight.....she just looks like she's really had a bad couple of years. It's the first time I've seen her look older than Matt. I don't know if it's her type of dwarfism, but wow.....

As far as Matt....he still seems like he's living out his preteen years.....every time you see someone lift him up onto a platform, you can see him trying to think of a way to take credit for what's happening around him....

Just kind of sad.....all the anger and desperation....it's not easy to make light of it anymore....

Anonymous said...

Love it! We've really missed the whole Roloff family. We love the concept, love the changes. Regardless of the personal motivation, we are glad to catch up with these "old friends".

Anonymous said...

wow who'd have thought Jacob would be the hottest?

dane said...

wow who'd have thought Jacob would be the hottest?

Jocelynn said...

Podge, about Amy playing the prima donna role? Yes! Oh I believe Amy IS a Prima Donna, just look at her hissy fits about airlines and inspectors. Having said that, yes I think when the TLC cameras are rolling, she is acting her part.

Matt does a crazy project. Amy pretends to be livid, pretends like she thinks they are in financial ruin (ignoring that they are being paid to act like they will lose everything). It's the same script we've seen for years.

Natalie said...

Podge, what did Jacob say that was insightful? Or were you being sarcastic?

Vicky said...

Anyone else think it was strange that at Molly's graduation, Jacob was not sitting with the rest of the family? He was in the balcony with a friend?

Did Faith Bible ban him from the main floor because he expelled??

Leigh said...

It is very obvious that this "new series" is a fraud. It's not about Weddings, it could be about anything.

Insert "project" and pretend like Matt and Amy will kill each other, but in the end, they will suceed!

Sprinkle in one segment of the kids that was all filmed in one day, but spread it through the hour to make it seem like the entire family is part of this "new" series when really it is Matt and Amy.

Molly...I'm over her act. I tire of them portraying her as the sweet good girl. I think she is a snob. I've never actually seen or heard of her doing anything that was particularly unselfish or kind for someone else.

Peter said...

Crap. Not even worth commenting on.

On an aside, anyone catch Matt Roloff crying about Million Milers United Elite status members not receiving enough perks to satisfy the elite??

Millions in poverty, losing homes and jobs....and there's the Roloffs that live on Air Planes complaining about not being pampered enough and not having their egos stroked.

Hard to believe there was a time when people thought the Roloffs were real everyday people.

Timothy said...

Peter, yes I noticed. And Matt deleted all negative comments on Facebook. People did comment on the elitism he was showing in full force. But Matt deleted the negative comments.

Randy said...

A few things about last nights show...

---Say what you will about Matt's parenting, bragging about how great his kids are, lies about how great the show is doing, etc....but you do have to give him credit that he is one hard-working and creative guy.

The fact that he was able to do so much with his farm is pretty awesome. I mean just all the stuff that got done in last nights episode was neat. Granted, it helps to have a big budget like he does, but he built a ton of stuff on his farm before the show even started (western town, pirate ship, huge treefort, molly's castle, etc). I don't have 1% the creativity that Matt does, and I think you have to give him credit for that. In a world where people are so lazy, it is pretty neat to see someone always trying to build and improve on something. Yah he can't do much of the physical work because of his stature, but it takes a lot of effort to think up and coordinate all that.

---I thought Amy came off like a whiny snob last night. I don't know if this is the role she plays for the show or if she's really like this, but it is kind of annoying to hear how much she complains. Look at what Matt has turned their farm/business into. They're multi-millionaires in a large part to his projects. Every time Matt tries to do something, Amy is against it. If he listened to her, their farm would still look like the run-down shack when they first bought it.

--Jeremy sure comes home a lot for being so far away. He was home on two different occasions in last nights show, Mollys graduation and filming of the commercial. And I'm sure he was home for most of pumpkin season. That sure is a lot of money spent on plane tickets. But I guess if you have the income that the Roloffs do it's no big deal.

---Zach is still a spoiled mama's boy who still gets waited on hand and foot. Had to chuckle seeing him just sitting on a stool in the kitchen eating a sandwich you know Amy made for him. And then later in the episode Molly commented how she had to go bring Zach dinner. Will he ever move out? Also did anyone else notice that his eyes are really spaced really far apart from each other? I've been watching the show since it started and have really started noticing it with these past few specials. Kind of weird.

---I don't get the nastiness towards Molly on this site. She has never done anything in the show to make you think she's a bad person. She's surrounded by three brothers who are always slacking, barely passing in school, or getting kicked out of school...while Molly is a straight 'A' student (probably valedictorian) and comes across as a real sweet person. I think it's unfair for people to say such mean things about her.

Mike P. said...

For a woman who claims a degree in the hospitality industry, Amy Roloff is remarkably and conspicuously clueless about the basics of what it takes to handle a crowd.


"Hey! Did ya see that view we have?"

Drinking water"

"Wow! That's some view out there, huh?"

Caterer's facilities?

"Whoa! Did I mention that view?"

And then she's snippy afterward that those people (whose time she has utterly wasted) would ask "questions like that."


Poor Jacob. I like Jacob and I always have liked him. And now, my heart now goes out to him as never before. He sees the misery coming as Molly leaves and he is left to live, alone, with his parents. He even uses the term; "I will be miserable," he says

But as Amy points out elsewhere, there's Zach to take care of him. The upbeat, life-of-the-party Zach! The responsible Zach Roloff, who casually shot his little brother in the face with a BB rifle, not so long ago.

Run Jake, run.

Podge/Rodge groupie said...

Natalie, Jacob mentioned with some regret that Molly would be gone and he would be home alone with his parents. The evidence I've seen and heard pointsz to the fact that Molly had much more to do with Jacob's development than his parent's did. His moaning of probably being miserable in the future stems from the idea that he has trouble relating problems and ideas to his parents.
I come from a family of 7 kids. When the house started to empty out, I, being the second youngest, felt alone at times without any siblings around.
Jacob does realize he basically has the entire second floor of the house to himself now, with Matt's mobility problems and Matt and Amy being so tied up in their own 'stuff' for the majority of the time.
If Jacob put in only 2 seconds of mandatory appearance, then Zach put in maybe 5 seconds. I do agree Ashley, it did seem short, however with Molly being 18 now, BOTH her and Zach are now getting residuals from the show. I find it a bit ironic that Jacob claims at school the show pays for his college education, while daddy blows the wad on a 'wedding business' that he knows absolutely nothing about. I personally feel Molly's grad was merely a by-line to the entire show being about Matt and Amy. Now it looks like "Us, Us, Us!!!!" instead of Matt braying "Me, Me, Me!!!"

Chris Linton said...

I'm shocked! Another LPBW episode comes and goes with no sightings or mentions of Jeremy's dear girl Audrey.

I admire how real and raw Jeremy is on this reality show! He hides his religion from the tv audience. He hides his girlfriend from the tv audience. He hides his hobbies like chucking cats and killing animals from the tv audience. Real and Raw Jeremy Roloff being honest and transparent to make Jesus proud!


kitten Has claws said...

WOW ...same ole' same ole' I could not stop falling asleep...wake up ten minutes later...Same Ole' same ole' Matt and Amy banter..fall asleep again wake up ..same crap and wth...No crappers for the wedding guests *COUGH*. Of course those crappers might cost The Roloffs to WHAT LOSE THE FARM...g'nite all this show is still the joke of Oregon...now to get me started on our states name ..roloffs have lived in oregon for along time and they can not pronounce Oregon the correct way. That is a jimormouse slap to all up Oregon folks. Just sayin~ Ohhh pull da plug..pull it and pull it fast. Sweet*dreams all!

Kyle said...

I dont know if it's Rap's review or the actual show but the episode sounded mind-bogglingy scattered: farm location scouting, wedding planners, a pumpking video, molly's graduation, buying a watch for molly, zach and his gf, moving a church? HUH!?!

gahgahgah said...

Did anyone else notice that Amy obviously didn't know what "potable" meant? The woman asking about the water had to do a "drinking" motion to illustrate it for her.

Rap541 said...

I'm genuinely curious to see how much or more likely, how little we see the Roloff kids in this.

I suspect btw that this is a not so subtle jump away from "we're educating and showing how little people are just like everyone else". I mean, after all - take out the kids and what do you have? A wedding version of the Little Chocolatiers.

Kyle said...

So where's Jeremy 's ex boyfriend Mueller? Aren't Jacob and Mueller now "hanging out"?

Kyle said...

And I agree with Dane's comment about Jacob. He is really cute, especially before his haircut. WOW

BeckyM said...

If you watch Craigslist enough, you will routinely see ads seeking locals to participate in various reality shows. It's a way to drum up some warm bodies who want to ho themselves out on television while pretending to be "real."

I imagine this is what Matt meant by advertising on CL.

I'm sure that the Wedding Show will last for a laugh or two. Matt got his improvements footed by TLC and I imagine that is all he really cares about.

Amy I used to think was a voice of reason but she has become a Harpy. Time to go talk to that divorce lawyer Amy and find yourself a better life. After all you don't have any kids at home anymore right....?

Greg said...

Randy, it's because people don't think the Chris Cardamone TV version of Molly or how Matt talks about her on on his fan Facebook is the 100% truth.

Let's flip the question. What has she done to make you think she is a sweet caring girl that thinks about others first?

I think she's just like Jeremy. The difference is she doesn't blurt it all out on the Internet for people to catch her on it.

sassenach said...

Oh dear -
we may go broke and lose the farm! (again)
I am worried about the kids' college funds (again)

Pure garbage - some bulldozers, Matt getting his own way despite Amy, "Napoleon" Matt bragging and giving orders, cameo by Jeremy, Molly's graduation, church moving and wedding planners and other stuff I probably missed all in one episode.

There are some besotted fans no matter what Matt churns out but that garbage barely held my attention and then only out of curiosity that something might actually happen. Like maybe the little church would collapse in a heap of firewood when Matt moved it or the invited wedding planners would "ooh and aah" for Amy and Matt. Instead they asked obvious questions like restroom facilities, kitchens, potable water, etc.which apparently Amy (the trained hospitality guru) had not thought of.
I will only watch again to see what "deer-in-the-headlights" young couple they get for a free wedding reception because even Matt surely cannot charge them for the facilities AND make a TV program out of it.