Review written by Rap541
So let’s see, we’ve had an election, and I have a new laptop. Windows 8 is actually kind of exciting although FYI, it does not come with Microsoft Works. Also my keyboard is configured slightly differently so please forgive any misspellings.
Hmmm so the Roloffs are now doing a wedding business. I will be honest, on the one hand I have serious doubts about this business simply because I have to wonder what the zoning laws are… but having lived in a town that rolled over for Hollywood, my guess is that that coupled with the whining the Roloffs do, they got some dispensation. My point? Weddings aren’t “agritainment”. As it happens I think weddings are a good idea… I just don’t think it’s a real business in any sense. I think this is about getting back on tv. Funny… I always thought the Roloffs were strictly about teaching and learning. Let’s see what we learn.
Wow… this is on really late. I mean… I somehow don’t think this is going to include the seven words you can’t say on tv. What’s normally on during this time? I usually watch Law and Order reruns on Tuesdays (Law and Order in various variations is pretty much on all the time if you have cable.
So anyway… weddings. So Matt goes on about how he has no idea what to do with the farm. I note that this is indeed a rehash of previous comments, on previous episodes. Matt announces to Amy that he wants do a wedding business. This will involve no landscaping and desperate brides. The credits change slightly. They zoom into the show and Matt says they’re investing no money into it? Did I hear it right? Maybe not. Matt notes how he’s a man with a penis so it will work and Amy openly caves. Matt says something in his fake screeching voice that I don’t understand.
Matt has someone setting up the landscaping. Zach seems blah about it. Mat screeches again to Amy – I think it was “tada”. He has an extensive plan and Amy notes how ridiculous it is since there’s no plans. Matt wants to show her so off to a mule tour. The house is looked at. This is cute, as I recall at one point this house was where Zach was supposed to “bach it” with his male pals and have it be a crash pad but now Matt and Amy note all of its failings. The barn is pretty cool but is well a barn and Amy notes the plumbing and electrical issues. She notes how Matt being over budget is extremely common and that she worries about their debt load. Matt notes that Amy thinks small and he thinks big and he’s all about thinking big. The sneering undertone of course is how wrong Amy is to doubt him.
Molly wanders in to discuss her graduation. Matt’s waxes philosophic on the graduation as Molly shows the grad invites. Molly photographs well. That’s a gift. Good for her.
So we’re at the barn. Queue a lot of barn stuff and barn fixing. Apparently the barn is the reception area and Matt notes that the barn might not be big enough.
So stuff is working but Matt is noting how Amy is being a BITCH again. We get a montage of Amy *being a doubting BITCH*. Amy is annoyed that Matt basically considers her nothing but his errand girl. Matt notes that she is the gofer. Amy haybales she isn’t a gofer. They have a fairly intense argument where Amy notes her role is not “Matt’s errand bitch”. Matt condescends how he was dealing with important building stuff. Matt basically faux improves the barn and wants to move Molly’s play church. Matt notes *again* how brilliant he was to put everything on skids, imparting this wisdom decisively. He notes how the church hasn’t moved in twenty years. I kinda beg to differ since there was an episode about this in season one or two where the church was moved…. Oh wait, best not to mention reality.
Molly and Amy have “OMIGOD” sweet moments.
Meanwhile Matt fake shouts “Let’s get some work done!” and “I need more dirt!” to show us how he’s the man. Amy demands an update. Amy and Matt chat and they plan to get brides out to see the venue. Amy notes how Matt still treats her like his helper monkey bitch. She leaves in a huff.
Matt notes how the marriage is great despite the depiction. Amy harps on how everything sucks and is crap and how Matt is completely ridiculous. This is essentially Matt and Amy arguing for us. Then Matt notes how he “took Amy’s advice” and finished the barn and fake shouts “there’s fireworks going off in here!” and “She likes its!” as Amy sniffs derisively.
Now we have wedding planners theoretically coming out. Matt notes how very frustrated he is with Amy and her “queenship” attitude over things. They snap at each other in an ugly fashion. Amy notes how this has to work or else TLC is going to run. Zack blergs how he and Tori love it and that’s all we see of Zach and Tori. In theory all the big Portland wedding planners showed… I have my doubts. Amy notes to the planners how there’s no real bathrooms. The planners ask about catering, tables and chairs, potable water. Amy says they have no idea what they are doing. Matt says they are making it up as they go along. Seriously no one in their right mind or who isn’t desperate or looking for a freebie is going to get married here. Why? Because there’s no flushing toilets and your guests have to drink bottled water and no one seems to have a plan if it rains.
Meanwhile they are shooting a pumpkin commercial so they call Jeremy to show up because someone majoring in still photography will have insight into video. Matt screeches “AND PUMKINS AND PUMKINS AND PUMKINS” and it’s lame.
Then we cut to a montage on the sacred tire swing. I die a little inside. Next they spray a faux rock thing on the barn and then Matt and Amy take Jake to buy jewelry for Molly. Hmm Jake is looking manly. They get Molly a watch?
Meanwhile Matt needs to show us all how he’s a man by moving the church “by himself”. There’s a lot of folksy joking with a bible. Matt notes the first move is crucial. He off course fake shouts “IT’S FREE” and then we are treated to an endless commercial ridden storyline surrounding the tiny church.
So back from commercial and Matt’s NOT GIVING UP. H e also shouts helpfully for camera time “LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD” and states how he’ll drag nothing but a beam to make a point. Because that will teach the church to mind him! He joyfully notes “WE’RE HERE!!” Everyone notes how incredible it looks. I note how the church really needs some paint and some de-dilapidation. Amy and Matt argue about how to “bling” it out.
Jeremy wanders in for Molly’s graduation. They take pictures. I hope Jake sprouts up a bit because he’s a lil short. I see this time Matt gave enough of a crap to show up on time. Everyone beams with pride for Molly. It’s sweet. Oh and hey folks? The yellow sash? That Jeremy didn’t have? Is the indicator of someone who graduated *with honors*. In case there’s still debate there.
There’s balloons. Matt does the fake shouting “ITS PLAY TIME!” and they give her the bracelet/watch. Matt takes us on a faux tour with Amy and tells us how beautiful it is and how they are soon to lose the farm because no wedding planners have called them back! THEY COULD LOSE THE FARM!!
Yeah considering how TLC is footing this and how they aren’t advertising this business at all (oh and naysayers? Craiglist is not the be all and end all of advertisement.) I kinda have my doubts about Roloff Weddings.
Meanwhile feel free to check out Matt’s support of someone whining how 100k United flyers just aren’t being comped to his standards anymore on his facebook. First world problems!
Review has been submitted by Podge/Rodge groupie:
Written by Podge/Rodge groupie -
Matt's insecurity is showing through again with his always wanting to prove himself and going the extra mile and doing the next step and do something "extraordinary".
I have a question about timing and budgets. Amy is always concerned about not having enough money, but Matt spends money like he already has it.
I wonder about the timing of Matt's deal with TLC about doing this wedding show plan thing and getting paid off on it before he even started the project. He can't possibly have that much disregard for his children's futures as in college funds and the like, to spend it all on this wedding project without the guaranteed revenue.
On the other side, When is Amy going to stop complaining about how Matt treats her, and just say no? Is this the "Christian" way of being obedient and subservient to your husband? How much money is involved in all this, when Amy still sticks around and puts up with all this treatment?
Also, is anyone feeling that Amy is acting and playing the bit of the part of the "prima donna" with the way she reacts and handles her situation in all this? Matt and Amy's self-centeredness is well documented and is very very evident in this episode. No prior consultation with a wedding planner or an expert in the field, no concerns about zoning and building permits for public occupation with the county etc etc. Why did Matt not ask a wedding planner or caterer right from the get – go? It's obvious why Matt and Amy had personal connections to the weddings that they featured on the show, because the wedding planners in the Portland area were not going to use them. Of course they had absolutely no idea what they were doing, you were correct on that, Amy.
Hey, I wonder who produced the television commercials? Molly's grad was a nice day version from the usual BS. And Matt was even early to the ceremony! Jacob was his usual very insightful self. And, if you read Amy's Facebook fan page, he certainly is not miserable because Matt and Amy left him at home and had Zach come back to look after him. Yeah you two, your kids come first. Always. Indefensible. More later. Just my first impressions.