Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm: Episode 4 December 4th, 2012: Review

Here are the episode reviews for the LPBW Wedding Farm episode 4 Dec 4th:


Written by Rap541

Sigh. This is on so late…. I watched the rerun of LPBW and really… I mostly don’t remember it. I did watch a dvd of Breaking Bad this weekend and it was really good. Really dark, darker than Battlestar Galactica, and of course there was a lot more meth, but good stuff.

So the previews are hilarious, Amy shouting at the 350 people. Bran? And Michael want 350 and that might be too much and Amy IS ASKING THEM ALL TO LEAVE! OHNOES!

How will Matt save the day?

Amy forces granola on Matt. Matt notes there’s two wedding s down and now Matt wants to go big or go home by using Craiglist. Amy notes how Matt isn’t thinking. Matt fake shouts “The skies the limit!”

Meanwhile Amy is all about her charity and how she does a charity for children charities and its tough! She’s having it in the barn and she HAS AN IMPACT! She notes how anything can happen.

Oh, its *Bree* and Mike and Bree loves country barn weddings and used Craiglist to find a romantic barn. They met at a gym. They want a giant wedding. Matt  haybales how they finally have a big wedding. Amy notes how her charity project is also super important. Hmm possible conflict? I mean why schedule these events on different days if you want conflict? Because they seem to be on different days despite all the whining. The farm can’t do two different events on two different days?

Bree wants a chandelier, a field, and a barn. Maybe a trellis with the chandelier?  Now we’re on the Mule, looking at the barn. Matt notes how the caterers will have a different access. Amy notes how this is the same weekend as her charity event. I sense issues. I also note that the same weekend is not the same day and most professional wedding venues can have two weddings on the same day and I doubt Amy’s event was the same day as the wedding.

Matt heads off to the lumber barn. Mike of the wedding disses the distressed barn wood Matt attempts to offer. Matt and Mike look at wood. Mike wants Matt to give him good wood. Mike wants the good wood at the bottom of the pile. Matt doesn’t want to give his wood to Mike. Because its his *special * wood.
All this talk about Matt’s wood… Is this why the show is on so late? Wood jokes?

Meanwhile Amy is juggling her event with Matt’s. Apparently the wedding Planner is named Molly. Essentially there’s lots of details and Matt dumps it on Amy and she disses him and walks out. In other words, it’s every episode of LPBW.

So ten days before the wedding and we’re walking thru. And there’s chickens, and Bree wants a chandelier in the barn. There are cocktails and appetizers and all sorts of fancy stuff to plan for. Matt wants a tent but this is never suggested on screen. There’s no final guest list, there’s caterers and the trellis for the chandelier is slow. And there’s Amy’s event at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME! Even though its not.

A little person sets tables for something .Oh, it’s Amy’s charity event that never mentions the name of her charity or the recipients this year. Amy is having her event. Amy goes on about her charity and how she wants to raise 200k. It’s all so important yet clearly less messed up than the wedding. Oh and PUMKIN season!

Meanwhile we see construction guys doing manly stuff. Ironically, I wasn’t really watching for it but I never a chandelier anywhere…  Did I miss it? Matt insists that Mike seduced him into giving up good wood. Matt laments about his wood.  This is all so sexual. I mean why not just have someone in a “GOT WOOD?” t-shirt?

So we’re at the charity event. Oh look Zach speaking how awesome he is mom is. Amy speaks at her own event. Amy notes that she’s 50 with four kids and still married. She notes that the party has started. Insert staid party montage.

Oh hey the neighbors are annoyed with the music at 9:30. Matt notes that Amy is hardcore because she shuts down the music after police complaints. Just so we’re all on the same page, I can, and have, called in noise complaints over loud music. Anyone whining defense for the Roloffs needs to remember that the land they are using isn’t commercially zoned and this is large loud event number three.

So Matt wants some structure moved – the trellis? Matt screeches YAY! YAY! YAY! I don’t see how this was hard. There’s wedding prep. A dance floor is laid out. It’s 9:30 am. Amy worried that the wedding isn’t prepped. Matt is all worried about Brianna’s day. Matt greets Molly the planner with news about the crapper. He haybales how managing the crappers is his duty.

Bree seems pleased about everything, including the chickens all over the bridal suite. Amy tells Matt how the set up is sucking. There’s funs stuff with Bree and the Chickens and oh hey, the power went out. In the background I spot the raised chicken coop and there’s chickens everywhere!


FYI wherever chickens go, chicken crap follows. I assure you, it does not smell like air freshener, unicorns or cupcakes.

So there’s a power issue in the bridal suite. Amy sends Matt. Matt and Bree chitter to the cameras and there’s chickens IN the house.  So the power comes back on and the bridesmaids chase the livestock out of the house while Matt notes how people should expect this on a farm. He notes “Yahhh” over it and then fake shouts at the chickens. Matt intones how important parking is and how orderly parking must be. Jake, who is 15 and maybe 130 pounds wet is deemed Matt’s heavy. So caterers show up and Zach is forced to be on camera slicing bread as is Amy. This never happens in real weddings seriously, food service people don’t let random helpers do stuff. People are crashing the wedding and now the water pressure is dropping. Molly the Planner bitches at Matt, everyone bitches at Matt , Matt notes how legit the crashers look! There’s lots of yammering about no water, and crashing, and guests invading the bridal suite!

Oh hey a commercial break.

Hey a few thoughts on why this isn’t a real business? Here’s a few. In a real wedding venue, people actually sue over nonsense like livestock infestations. Oh and hey, maybe security and guest control shouldn’t be on a bunch of unsupervised kids who pretty clearly don’t give a crap about anything. I mean really, the *power* went out? Someone paid for *that*?
No one paid for a wedding venue with no electricity and chicken crap everywhere. I was raised with chickens. Where ever chickens go, chicken crap follows. No one pays for a “bridal suite” with no power and chickens inside the house.

So now we’re griping about the guest lists, there’s no water, and Matt intones how they aren’t ready for such a big wedding! Sven is told by Matt to try the water. Now Matt has to deal with security. Somehow random people from a different wedding are arriving. Jake notes how stressful it is. Caryn and Matt argue. There’s shouting and bitching and Amy and Matt shout at each other. Matt notes how the parking area is a mess. Yeah don’t make a 15 year old in charge. (Lest anyone think I’m defending Jake, please ask yourself – a fifteen year old was “the heavy” for a parking situation involving 350 people?)

Now there’s a wedding and there’s clouds and thunder and Amy and Matt note how risky it was to not have a tent. Yet the wedding g happens with no one saying a word. The wedding seems sweet, pity we saw next to nothing of THIS couple. My guess? They didn’t have a sob story or a project for Matt to whine about. Oh a female preacher.  Oh Matt notes to Amy how it’s his way or the highway. Oh the wedding is rained on. The chick preacher is funny. Then God slams down the storm. Oh hey the barn can’t hold all the guests. Matt notes to the camera how he’s on record that he can’t allow all the people that he’s not stopping at all from taking shelter from  the rain in the barn.  Funny how he makes no effort to actually stop the over crowding .

So its RAINAPOCOLYPSE! Amy tells Matt she’ll kick people out if that bitch Molly the Planner and Matt won’t do it. Amy tells everyone to get to hell out. She’s so clearly pissed. She tells everyone how it’s the wedding planner’s fault. Matt whines. Amy tells him to shut his bitch mouth since he didn’t get off his ass to tell people to get out.  Apparently this wrapped up nicely despite everyone being told to get to hell out? Yes. Oh hey Matt finds a ton of people suddenly touring the farm because hmmm. Aren’t these the same people who consider every single part of their property intensely private but make no real effort to displace interlopers? 

But it’s a success! Matt notes how he was stresses but this was all utterly perfect. . Amy interrupts him to kick out people.

Next week its stupid projects and bitching about Zach and making Zach move out.


Megan said...

Same formula, over and over.

Ashley said...

Jacob managed to convey that he's a moody brat that can't handle a simple task in his 45 second appearance.

On being the parking guy: "I only need to say like 2 words and I'll never see them again"

"There were a lot of people not on the list...but I let them in anyway."

Between his anti-social comments on the show and the whining he does on his twitter account, he must be absolutely miserable to be around in real life.

lisa said...

Amy being her usual miserable self...poor Matt.

Lisa said...

Is it me or does Amy seem to really despise Matt this season. I feel so bad for him. I wouldn't treat my dog like that let alone my husband.At what point did she decide he was the village idiot?

Natalie said...

I wonder about the wedding planner thinks of being thrown under the bus by Producer Amy.

But who knows, maybe Amy will sue those wedding guests later and claim she was scared for her life.

matty said...

It's like Matt said its all in how u word things..treating guest like 3 yr olds..counting to 3 and then telling them to get outside...was rude and unnecessary..Amy ould of just told them of the fire codes and ask that some of them would have to step outside...word of mouth means a lot when u run a business..

kitten Has claws said...

Rain O' Rain ...this is Oregon and what keeps Oregon green? RAIN i guess not having tents just added to the fuss n muss of this wedding. How many parking situations, dropping the cake *last epi* etc how many same ole same ole can they do over and over ...but then again this is TLC and The Roloffs. Jake knock that big cow patty off your shoulder, it stinks and so do you. Best part of the show=The End! PS Not that it happened this episode ....I still can't stand the kitten tossing..sickening. Wondering if that Barn has been checked out to see if its safe? uggggghhhhhh...

flip said...

I so bad wanted to see all.those guests in the barn toss Amy out the door when she was evicting them. Then toss Matt and Zack out in the same fashion. Sort of like a "dwarf toss" game. LOL

Podge/Rodge groupie said...

I'm at work so I went to bed immediately the 'show' was done. Lisa: Matt was being his usual self - poor Amy. OK, I write thta in a bit of jest, I can't see how one side can favor or ridicule the other in that relationship.
In reagrds to my predictions, I'm sure the Firedepartment sets the occupancy level for a public(?) space, which in this case is under the auspices of Washington County, so we can debate the semanitcs of zoning or fire regs. to decide about my first one. The second one came true, but I'm not throwing Jacob to the lions entirely. I didn't see on the 'show' that things were made clear enough for me, a former morticisan, to understand about parking, let alone a 15 year old. As usual, Matt's scant directives to him and the other fairly young gent who was working the lot, certainly in my mind left a lot to be desired. It was also obvious there were no signs up at the road of the corner of Helvetia Road and NW Grossen Drive. For either wedding. You know, "real" wedding this way, and "comped Roloff" wedding this way. I've seen these signs on many a road and street corner.
Who were the caterers? You saw, the ones that needed help to present their meal, and do prep? Yikes. Yes, Amy threw the wedding planner under the bus. And yes, word of mouth is most times, the most powerful of advertising.
I was so tired that when they were counting down to the wedding, I swore the TV said, "9 WEEKS to the wedding" and 3 weeks and so on. And yes, I do agree that here in the U.S. the national sport is an oriental art called "so-su-me" the entire execution of the wedding, in real life, would be seen as indefensable.
Lisa, I agree that Amy is a little bit deferential to Matt, but when Matt says, "This wedding is ALL on your shoulders" as in I want nothing to do with this project any more, I can't defends Matt's feelings for Amy either.

Rap541 said...

Podge - I just don't think "well this is a farm!" flies as a reason for the house to have chickens in it.

Now sure, the wedding was comped, and this whole business is basically for Matt to throw up his arms and say "All hands on deck! Hee hee!" and basically prance around for the cameras, so I don't expect much but really... along with flush toilets, I want electrical power and no invading livestock at my wedding venue.

Funny how Matt wasn't willing to risk the guests anger by standing up and telling them to leave... Then again for all the bluster from Amy... did the cameras ever show anyone leaving the barn through the rain?

For that matter, despite all the "crashers"... did we ever see anyone actually boot a crasher?

Christine said...

Kitten, I couldn't agree with you more about Jacob.

He's such a pouty brat.
It's like he has all of Jeremy's bad traits, but is even more miserable.

Podge/Rodge groupie said...

Matt said he was "scared to death" when challenged by Amy after he suggested verbage to evict the barn people. Another point about Amy throwing the wedding planner under the bus. Doesn't anyone remember the GROOM telling Matt and Amy that THEY don't want a tent and that he "ordered" a day of perfect weather?? I can't remember if he said he was from "ORE-uh-gun" and not familiar? Help.
Points of poor set up and execution to me were; Matt having no idea where the breaker box was for the bridal suite, wut? The strangely inadequiate (potable?) water system. Didn't the guests have to drink bottled water earlier? Anyone seen the Public Health Board lately? Total lack of direction in many things, signage (none whatsoever, a huge sign at the entrance to the farm would be great for TV not to mention avoiding confusion) thinking the kids can or must be able to read his mind, etc. etc. And oh yes to all his supporters, hindsight is 20/20, it's easy for me to sit back and nit-pick, they're trying their best yadda yadda yadda, well, for Matt to bray it's all about Bree's special day, and those two clods ruin it completely, and make this wedding all about them? Does anyone want to explain to me why Matt talks to chickens? On TV? While they are all about making the most special day ever for someone who is NOT a Roloff? Is one of them thinking this crappy relationship is being made up for TV, and the other is being quite serious and honest about it? I wonder sometimes. It's a sadly fun dynamic.

Nicole said...

I've been watching LPBW since it started. I liked the first 2 seasons then after that it started to seem like everything was scripted. I continued to watch,though I can't really say why. LOL...This new show is crap..If it gets another season then Matt must be secretly head of TLC LOL. Jacob seems like a normal moody teenager who doesn't like the spotlight but for now has to put up with it because of his parents..Zach just seems lazy but then again it goes back to the parents treating him like a baby and not making him do anything. Jeremy seems to have gotten a big head out of all of this thinking he is the best at anything he does.I also think he's drank to much of the kool-aid!! I'm not sure about Molly yet. I think her and Jacob might be the normal ones out of the bunch..I think the show was a bad idea to begin with for them,especially for Matt and Amy. If you remember how they were on the first season to now,boy have they changed. They seem to think like Jeremy and they are god...Hopefully this will be it for them and poor Jacob can get away before the kool aid is offered to him.

Jack "N" Orry said...

I'm now convinced that this isn't a viable business but a scam on the part of Matt & Amy to stay on TV.

There is no way that any reputable wedding/event planner would ever do business with incompetent people like them.

The venue may be kind of nice but its not like there aren't any number of beautiful state parks (like the one my brother got hitched at)and sea side venues around here that wouldn't be preferable to going to Roloff Farms.

Anonymous said...

Why are the Roloffs even at the wedding in the first place? Why is Amy taking pictures of the reception?

When you hire out a venue, the staff should be neither seen nor heard unless absolutely needed.

Rap541 said...

Anon - that's another clue that the Roloffs aren't actually "running a wedding business". These brides aren't paying for the weddings so they don't get a choice about Matt and Amy wandering thru the festivities.

Jack - considering what the Roloffs *provide* for the wedding, I don't see how they could - if they were charging people which they aren't - charge very much. They're providing a barn, a yard with grass thats to be fair, quite scenic, and a "bridal suite" with apparently iffy electricity and in theory no security from the barnyard. The tents, the benches, the decorations, the catering, is all an add on service that the Roloffs don't provide.

I'm willing to allow that the chickens *in theory* could have gotten into the house, although my suspicion is that it was staged drama for the cameras but really... Ladies, who here wants live chickens near your wedding dress? There's wanting a country wedding and then there's having to chase chickens out of the house, and Matt's cutesy little "It's a farm!" suggests one of two things to me. 1)He's actually that emotionally tone deaf and really doesn't see what's wrong or why its a bad business move or 2) the more likely answer is that this was all staged so Matt could get in a "We're down on the farm! I'm a farmer, see me nonchalantly dismiss having chickens in the house" moment. I actually lean towards staged because while this particular bride might not throw a fit (since she's being comped) there are people out there who would really wig out over surprise animals in the venue and the venue runner being all "its a farm".

Especially since this all went down in the house. Sorry, I've lived on farms and visited many a farm... most farmer these days don't have the chickens roaming inside the house.

sassenach said...

This show is so pathetic it is almost worth watching if only to see just how far the limits of phony and ridiculous can be stretched.

Matt's junk lumber is apparently VALUABLE and sentimental.

The Roloffs helping the caterer prepare food, chickens in the house (Rap is right-they tend to crap wherever they are)? I wonder how long the help with food preparation lasted. I suspect just long enough for the camera shot.

Something seemed wrong about the rain. I must have missed something. Someone (Matt?)said it rained throughout the ceremony but the camera showed only a few spots on the shoulders of the guests as they FLED into the barn. Why were the doors open if they were not supposed to go in there. When Amy kicked them out the rain seems to have gone and they are all sitting at set tables outside. These tables would have been set some time in advance yet they didn't look wet.
Then, horror of horrors, while Matt is patting himself on the back for his great success some of the guests stray on to forbidden land which was apparently defined by white flags. How and when was this limitation intimated to 350 guests?

Bindibeggs said...

All contrived and scripted....that's how they can abuse the guests...because it's free.
I didn't think it was possible for Amy to become MORE of a b*tch...Do you think it is ALSO part of the script? or just menapause? Historically she seemed to despise Matt, now she seems homicidal towards him....
She's....just...so...negative. Oh...and IMPORTANT.

bawkbawk chicken talk said...

I agree with the poster that stated that Amy seems to not be able to stand Matt..worse now than before. Wonder whats up in the Roloff compound? Or is it just script..but over the last couple episodes she looked like she had some hate flyin towards Matt. Maybe this is really the way they live just seems like something going on ---deep dark undertones. *or is could be that reality tv is making me Crazy LOL. The show seems like its going to be the same things played over again and again. I liked the first couple of seasons way back when but not anymore. I find myself falling asleep during these episodes..Oh well atleast i have a good nap. Thanks Roloff i need my sleep. Jake play nice and THINK before you SPEAK. THX