Monday, December 23, 2013

The Duck Dynasty / Phil Robertson Controversy And The Roloff Family

Our frequent episode reviewer, Rap541, graciously decided to submit an article about the recent Duck Dynasty controversy where one of the stars of the show, Phil Robertson, made some very anti-gay remarks during a magazine interview. Rap dissects the similarities or differences between the Duck Dynasty family and the Roloff family when it comes to being upfront and honest about their beliefs.


Written by Rap541

The Duck Dynasty thing has been amusing the hell out of me. I don’t really watch the show any more. I tried the first season and while it was funny at times, it was also really repetitive and really staged. I also am not shocked by Phil Robertson’s recent comments because a) it was pretty obvious that the family was right wing b) I was curious and found some of Phil’s sermons because someone told me he was a brimstone and fire preacher and he is and btw CNN has a clip where he pretty clearly is not “love the sinner hate the sin” about it and c)because Phil has been mouthing off in prior interviews that he isn’t happy. One of the reasons Duck Dynasty never made it on to my view list is that I didn’t care for Phil and his views on women and on anyone who doesn’t live the way he does. Sorry, but the yuppie bitching and the disdain for anything that isn’t hunting just got old too quick for me. 

So it wasn’t a surprise to me when Phil interviewed that gay people were the moral equivalent of terrorists, “pre-entitlement blacks” never told him (a white man in the early sixties) that they were unhappy, or that “Shintos” bombed Pearl Harbour - the last just makes me sad because despite the schtick, Phil has a master’s degree and should really know the reasons why the Japanese entered the war (a lil hint, it wasn’t about their godliness, it was about oil) because frankly, its not well hidden. This quote from one of Phil’s sermons – “Women with women, men with men, they committed indecent acts with one another, and they received in themselves the due penalty for their perversions. They’re full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant, God-haters. They are heartless, they are faithless, they are senseless, they are ruthless. They invent ways of doing evil." Is easy to find and yes, Christians, this is a Christian judging others… But it did surprise me that people really didn’t know because they are pretty clear about what they are. 

Where am I going with this? It is no surprise that the Robertson family has fundamentalist Christian beliefs. In fact, some of the criticism that A&E is facing is that they’re just now having a problem with the Robertson family’s religious views. I posted about this on my live journal, describing the Robertsons as anti-gay and virulently Christian and… My pal Andrew posts: 

“So when do Matt and Amy show up?” Which made me laugh but I corrected pal Andrew with: 

“Dude, those two *wish* they had the Duck Dynasty audience” 

Pal Andrew snarks back with: 

“That's both true and mean. Ha, ha, ha!” 

Here’s the thing. It IS true. Let me explain. 

I don’t particularly care for the Robertsons and their viewpoints on various topics but I really can’t say that they aren’t loud and proud about them. If you ask Phil Robertson his view on homosexuals, he apparently will on record state he thinks they are going to hell and are God haters. Please see the above quote from his *sermon* on the topic.

Do you think a member of the Roloff family would ever give that firm of a statement on their religious views? Really? 

Not a friend, not one of the many anonymous buddies who let us know just how much Jeremy James Roloff loves the views of the Solid Rock church and thinks gays are going to hell, much like his beloved pal John Mark Comer. 

 Jeremy Roloff's favorite Pastor, John Mark Comer of the Solid Rock
Church in Portland, OR, (a Church that the entire Roloff family have
attended) has given sermons that Jeremy has shared and recommended
where he describes gay people as having a perversion and being broken
in their soul. He recommends a website, , which
converts gay people into being "straight".

Does anyone think Jeremy will ever say that? How about Molly and her love of Kirk Cameron’s stance on homosexuals? 

Shortly after Kirk Cameron's controversial comments on CNN's 
"Piers Morgan Tonight" where he said gay peoplewere ultimately 
destructive for civilization, Molly expressed her support of Kirk Cameron
 to her friends. However, none of the Roloffs have ever went on the record 
(16 year old Jacob has been the closest) to say exactly what they think publicly. This 
leads many feeling that the Roloffs are intentionally being deceptive so they
don't jeopardize their careers as paid public diversity speakers. 

How about Amy and her “I like some of the message but not all of the message” stuff where she never actually outlines what part of the message she doesn’t like?

As much as I don’t like Phil’s views on religion, I sure can’t accuse him of hiding those views now can I? Christian fans of the Roloffs – and I assume a few of you like and agree with Phil’s views – do you really think the Roloffs are in agreement with Phil? 

Because I am fairly amused that the Roloffs, who so many *anonymously* insist are in accord with fundamentalist values haven’t come down on the side of the oppressed Robertson clan. Well, let me be honest, I am not surprised in the slightest that the Roloffs are shutting their mouths on this one. When it comes to saying anything other than “We’re diversity speakers, we want all people to *appreciate* (not tolerate, *appreciate*) each other’s differences and yes we attend a church that advocates that gays are going to hell and can be cured of being gay but we are under no obligation to say whether we agree with our church or not because that’s private and our privacy is so very precious” – well, members of the Roloff clan don’t like direct questions about their faith, now do that?

It’s funny also, that there’s really never been any anonymous friends who have braved the trend here to insist that the Roloffs are secretly *liberal* and actually hold moderate views. No, that has never happened. It’s always, *always* anonymous friends letting us know how *Christian* and *anti-homosexual* the Roloffs are. At which point, the part of the fanbase that this pleases starts to harp on how the Roloffs always stand tall on their morals and principles as shown by well, their attendance at church events where praying out the gay is preached, Amy listing Focus on the Family in her links for a while, Matt’s cute little references to Focus on the Family on his facebook, their fairly open support of anti-gay marriage political candidates, Jeremy and how he loves the views espoused by the Solid Rock church. When I wonder out loud why the Roloffs themselves never want to speak out on how proud they are to support traditional marriage, no one ever really wants to answer. And when people likewise ask why the Roloffs never speak on this topic in a definitive way…. There’s usually an anon who rushes to explain that even though the Roloffs are diversity speakers, as long as they never ever say what their views are, and even though everyone who knows them knows they are against gay marriage, no one can actually hold them accountable for having an opinion at all. 

Amy Roloff originally linked the controversial group
Focus On The Family, who is arguably best known 
for their opposition to gay rights, on her official
website. She removed the link to replace it with
her own Charity Foundation link.

Have you noticed that they’re not coming out in support of the Robertsons? 

Let me explain. Unlike the Robertsons, the Roloffs aren’t actually independently wealthy. To be fair, I don’t think the Roloffs were close to applying for welfare when the show started, but I think they needed the money. The Robertsons in contrast, were already pretty well off with the Duck Commander business. Also, unlike the Robertsons, the Roloffs have portrayed themselves as diversity advocates. 

I’m sure someone will make the argument that “TLC told them not to say anything!” which btw is likely true. Here’s my response to that. I am absolutely certain someone at A&E told the Robertson clan to not mouth off on certain topics as well. The difference is that the Robertson clan has the money to say what they please, and have consistently marketed themselves as redneck hillbillies (even though that isn’t accurate) while the Roloffs don’t have the financial freedom to speak freely and very much want people to think they embrace diversity. 

If you genuinely believe that Matt and Amy Roloff are against gay marriage, the gay lifestyle, etc, because of their religious views, you really can’t tell me they aren’t keeping that on the down low. They won’t answer direct questions on it because instead of standing tall with their Christian friends, they don’t want to tick off the liberals who pay them for diversity talks. They let their friends, who also won’t stand up and say “I am Lisa “insert lastname” and I know Matt and Amy personally and they believe homosexuality is wrong” and then whine and moan that people seem to think they just might be a bit against homosexuality. Matt, Amy, if you genuinely don’t harbor the view that homosexuality is wrong and against God, you have the power to say so, and you might want to protest all these kind friends of your family who anonymously insist you do believe this. And if you do believe this… well, you’re not the Robertsons, now are you? LPBW never had the marketing value, and Matt’s previous businesses, his protests aside, clearly weren’t the empire that Duck Commander is and was. 

Now I will be honest. I don’t care for Phil Robertson’s views, and because the Robertsons are independently wealthy, I don’t think Phil is taking a life altering risk when he decides to do interviews because Phil has the money to say “screw you” and walk away. A rich man being an asshole because he knows he can get away with it, in other words. On the other hand, this has never been hidden and his sermons are pretty easy to find. I have to respect that he’s willing to stand up for his beliefs and say them, knowing that there’s a potential for consequences. 

I don’t see the Roloffs doing that at all. I get it, it’s about the money, but don’t tell me that wiffle waffling about not liking “some things” in their church and never ever protesting that all these anonymous friends who say they are proud to be against homosexuality, and never stating their opinion in a way that makes them accountable is “The Roloffs standing loud and proud in their faith”. Because if they genuinely believe homosexuality is wrong…they sure aren’t willing to say so and they aren’t willing to buck their masters in order to say it.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

New Episode Of Little People, Big World Featuring The Roloffs: "Crossroads For The Roloffs" December 17th at 9:00pm On TLC

This is a preview and then review of the new episode of "Little People, Big World" airing tonight  at 9:00pm on TLC.

The episode is called "Crossroads For The Roloffs":

The Roloff Family dynamic is changing. Jeremy and Molly return to school as Zach moves into a new house. Pumpkin season catastrophes push Matt and Amy to their limits - and after 25 years of marriage, they question whether there’s still a future together.


Review written by Rap541

Weird thing I noticed while watching reruns. Amy is all “why is it leaking??” in the wine cellar, but she’s standing right next to the gaping hole in the bricks. Also when Matt is giving Jer the pep talk on doing good in school, Jeremy is rolling his eyes and unable to look directly at his father. And who wants to bet we never see Heidi again? Oh and despite the serious concerns everyone expressed in the Family Game Day episode, not once in the other episode did I see a Roloff, or anyone with a Roloff put a seat belt on while driving the mules. There’s even one lovely scene of Matt and Heidi rolling up and there’s a full on shot of Matt not wearing a seat belt.

Also the commercial leading into this final episode are cloying. And if Molly and Jeremy expect to be provided a bed over summer break, Christmas break, and whatever break, and for their stuff to be stored at the house, and Mom and Dad pay for their places at school, they aren’t actually moved out.

Btw Person of Interest was really awesome!

So in previously, Matt and Amy bitch at each other.

The farm is desolate and Amy and Matt eat dinner by themselves.  Apparently Zach moved out and now since Matt and Amy are alone (screw Jacob, they’re already talking grandkids) Matt pointedly states “I’ll move to Maui and call me when the grandkids arrive.”

Four weeks earlier, Matt is chiding Amy how he’s sooo beat and he doesn’t like the weddings and he clashes constantly with Amy. Matt harps on pumpkin season and he’s so exhausted. Amy notes that she’s told Matt to calm down for years and doesn’t appreciate his bitching.

Matt and Amy check the pumpkins and the harvest looks like crap.

Also the kids are doing headshots with camera equipment. Jeremy notes this is the last summer (as opposed to the various last summers) Amy notes her empty nest and how she misses the dog.

Matt notes how despite not showing any of it, there’s been a massive push to build the funzone. Matt says he’s been working so hard he hasn’t seen the kids.

Molly demands a car from Amy.

Jeremy notes Molly wants a car. Molly wants a small SUV. Jeremy and Molly drive the jeep. This is all about how close they are, nicely staged since in the actual scene they barely speak out loud.

Now there’s a staged scene with some kids who are “testing” the fun zone for the cameras.  Matt notes Amy needs to shut her mouth and let him work with the kids because she’s in his way.  In fairness Amy is a bit gripy but really neither of them are good with kids who aren’t theirs.

Amy enters the sacred office. Matt notes all the kids hated the fun zone and he’s sure it’s a disaster and he’s too old and is throwing in the towel! Is Matt bipolar. He wants to close down pumpkin season because he’s old.

Now Jeremy and Molly are leaving and even tho Jake is home, Amy notes she and Matt are alone. Jeremy notes his life is now in Santa Barbara despite his incessant whining that he’ll always be an Oregon farmer. Interestingly he finally seems to see the dysfunction.

Matt notes how tough it was seeing *Jeremy* leave. Not all the kids, just Jeremy.

Matt hands off a brand new SUV to Molly. Because all normal families have the new car driven by the salesman to their home. There’s a deathless scene between Molly and Jacob. Molly notes she hopes Jake moves the hell out.  There’s a lengthy good bye and Molly diplomatically notes Matt and Amy will have to “rediscover”.  Now Zach moves into a house. Matt doesn’t bother to show for this.  Zach notes how having kids was keeping Matt and Amy together.

Matt chides Amy for not planning. Matt notes how Amy is a piece of crap who never listens to him. Matt notes how if people aren’t lined up, they’re screwed.  Now pumpkin season starts. I note btw that no one seems to be in the pumpkin pavilion. Also the credit card machines are down.  Oh the farm has an ATM?

Amy apologizes to the customers.  Matt is grabbing some wireless gadget.  Matt wants to have the trebuchet fire because his *dream* has been to have it fire off, and of course he insists on having Jake fire it. And of course because it’s a piece of crap, its lucky no one was killed with it. Amy does a tractor tour.  To be fair, she’s fairly funny on the tour.  Amy notes life isn’t actually a fairy tale.

So Matt does a tour for the cameras as well.  The power goes out on the microphones and Matt notes he’s emotionally exhausted. He talks as we see film clips of the family in younger days and Matt notes how maybe he’s done with the farm now that the kids are moved out. Matt tells Amy he is fried from the work. Matt bitches and moans and he notes how careless and stupid it was. There’s lots of bitching and moaning. Now we’re back to the show start of the eerie farm and Matt bitter and angry. Amy makes Matt steak. Amy haybales that she prefers to stay married but things need to change. A rarity, Matt and Amy pray before eating. This is a rehash of the start.

Matt and Amy talk with their mouths full. Amy wants to see her kids and grandkids. Matt notes how small that is and feels he’s stuck on the farm and wants to quit. Matt notes how they are in a dark transitional stage, and how he has nothing in common with Amy. Oddly, Amy is pretty happy with her life. Matt notes how they don’t travel well. Amy notes she’s not going on a trip with Matt if she’s just going to be tested the entire time. Amy notes Matt doesn’t care about anything with the farm and the house and their life. Amy notes Matt’s isn’t happy unless whatever is in front of him is new. Matt notes that things shouldn’t be this hard. Oh Matt, stop being a douche. You want your way. Amy has called it completely – a trip together is Matt judging Amy on everything and Matt isn’t required to make any concessions.  I don’t particularly care for either Amy or Matt at this point but Amy does concede a lot to Matt while Matt constantly calls Amy out as a useless incompetent bitch a lot.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

New Episode Of Little People, Big World On TLC Featuring The Roloffs: "Come Rain or Come Shine" - December 10, 2013

This is a preview and then review of the new episode of "Little People, Big World" airing tonight on TLC at 9:00pm.

Little People, Big World Come Rain or Come Shine 

The Roloffs need to prepare for pumpkin season - but with the last wedding of the summer still demanding their attention, the entire family is scrambling! Matt suffers from intense shoulder pain, and rain threatens to put a damper on the couple’s big day.


Review written by Rap541

So people are working. Amy meets with Caryn and Matt on the mule. Matt goes on about how they are way behind on pumpkin season. He’s totally worried about the kiddie fun zone that seems to involve large tractor tires. Amy notes how Matt doesn’t communicate squat.

Amy wanders into the sacred Matt office to chat up Matt. There’s a new wedding couple, Liz and Mike. They want a candy shop.  Its four weeks to the wedding and TENT ONLY IF RAIN.  Yup, Mike is a war vet… funny how the Roloff boys who aren’t handicapped never consider service. The bride wants rustic but elegant. Matt and Amy make it very clear the barn isn’t for people. The bride likes the church. The church is looking a tad ramshackle.

Matt screeches to no one “Lets get some work done!” He orders people to build an adventure park. Oh look, the Roloff kids put in a an appearance for under ten seconds. Matt tells Amy she’s in charge of the wedding because he needs to handle pumpkin season. He repeatedly insists its all on her and she repeatedly says no.

Two weeks to the wedding! Matt has an idea for “the special moment” an event that first and foremost leverages the farm. They have a little house in the woods idea but Amy worries about rain. Matt notes he may not have the strength to walk because life has taken its toll. Normally Matt guts through the pain to please us but…. He’s struggling and makes sure we know it. They examine the ratty barn. Matt basically bitches Amy out and says she likes to make him miserable and walks off.  Matt also hates the whole candy store idea and bitches Amy out again. Matt notes he may divorce her.

Now Matt is redoing the tour road and notes he is in excrutiating pain and it sucks to be Matt Roloff. Amy hauls the kids into the barn to clean it… again. I mean really, why is the wedding barn constantly needing cleaning? A tent goes up on the property. The wedding planner is fairly forceful but the groom insists they will marry in the rain.

Matt and Amy chat on mules. Matt wants to cancel the wedding. Amy notes he’s being ridiculous. Matt notes he’s in a ton of pain and has taken on too much. I’d be more sympathetic if a) we were talking about a real business and B) Matt wants the attention of the show more than his health.

One day to the wedding. Amy makes the kids play with Hershey kisses again. Amy tells them to make it look like an old fashioned candy store. The kids all look bored. The candy thing looks dumb. Matt wanders in and Amy fakes it with Matt for a bid. Btw, why is Matt the diabetic constantly stealing candy?

The dad of the bride is super happy.  They rehearse. The bride cries with dad.  Dad is real proud his girl didn’t have sex before marriage.

On the wedding, Amy is taking down the decorations from weddings past. Matt notes how he’s in constant pain.

The bride heads in to the “bridal suite”. They are still making the candy store? I think this is creative editing and Molly gets the plus points for artfully shilling the Hershey sponsor.

Matt notes he’s in horrible pain. He’s on the couch noting how the pain is sucking his energy.

Bridal stuff. The bride is wearing her grandmas dress but one of the bridesmaids screws it up. Panicky, they scrub it. THAT’S NOT WORKING!!

The bridesmaids consult Amy on stains. She heads over with club soda and no one (the bride especially) seems to question her wandering in with one bottle of club soda.

Matt rolls in, noting again how much pain he’s in but he needs to check on Amy’s work because she’s nothing but his vagina to plow.  Oh good god really? The candy store needed to be worked on hours before the wedding?

The bride is really into wearing Grandmas dress. Btw, the storm of the century is coming. It begins to pour.

So the bride heads out despite the rain. The groom thinks the downpour started on cue. Its really raining and thundering. It is like *pouring*. Now they are hauled into the barn and are soaked. Now the candy store and ice cream bar is opened.  Caryn suggests Matt and Amy try to help the bride. There is hair dryer drying. Matt notes how horrible the bride’s situation is.

Amy reads off some lines about the bride and groom being wet. Huh, the special moment is a pretend house in the barn. Then we have the bride’s dad talking. Then slow dancing by the bride and groom.  Finally the couple is thrown out by the Roloffs. There’s endless chatter. Matt notes the most important thing is pumpkin season.

Oh hey, next week where Matt and Amy discuss divorce. Ain’t that great?

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

New Episode: Little People, Big World Featuring The Roloffs December 03 "All Tangled Up"

This is a preview and then review of the new episode of "Little People, Big World" on TLC tonight at 9:00pm.

Little People, Big World All Tangled Up

"A job opportunity may mean big changes for Zach and Tori. When Zach looks for advice, Matt brags that he and Amy have worked well together this summer and suggests Zach take notice. Baffled, Zach challenges his parents to spend 24-hours tethered together!"


Review written by Rap541

So it’s the farm and Matt is playing with the piles of wood. Matt and Amy both work the cameras how they are learning to actually behave like children. Meanwhile Tory is looking for a real job teaching but she works on the farm for now. Zach tells Matt how she’s looking for work and Matt wonders how Zach and Tori work together. Zach notes they can’t work together for 24 hours. Matt finds his penis and one ups Zach and insists he could be physically tied to Amy. Amy notes how this won’t work. Matt notes how he doesn’t know how Amy spends her time and this will be good because he will see where Amy wastes time in her day. Matt calls Amy the ball on his chain.

They are tied together and immediately the stupid arguing begins as Amy notes she needs to make dinner and Matt can’t articulate his needs but doesn’t want to concede to her plan.

Amy continues to demand how she needs to make dinner. They argue and finally Matt concedes. As Amy works, she is also required to make him a sandwich and also listen to him bitch how she doesn’t manage her time well and how wrong she is. He notes how Amy doesn’t understand what a snack is. Zach and Jake discuss how ridiculous the storyline is. Zach btw plans to follow Tory to her job.

Matt refuses to do dishes and notes how wrong Amy is to do dishes and how dumb she is and how she has no sense of what needs to be done and how she has no sense of anything and is a stupid stupid bitch. Matt accuses her of showing off and he notes he’s getting nothing done. He notes he doesn’t recommend performing a stupid sitcom skit. Matt insists on stacking her work  and he continues to bitch incessantly how awful and dirty she is and he wants to quit as she takes out the trash. He ditched the tether because Amy is sooo awful.

Amy notes Matt needed a time out from being tethered. Matt notes how Amy has changed. He notes how they never worked out fundamental differences. Amy demands Matt rejoin the experiment – and despite his incessant bitching to the cameras how Amy is useless and dumb, he tells her to her face that he respects her and needs to get work done.

Zach finds Jeremy fiddling with a camera. Funny how Jeremy isn’t doing his school work and has no time to work on a wedding but has time to dick off in a field and play with a camera. They vaguely discuss their girlfriends.  Jeremy continues taking pictures of the trestle and not studying.

Zach returns to the house and Matt of course insists on lying to Zach about the tether and lying lying lying like a liar how he has been tethered to Amy. Zach clearly knows this is a lie but there’s cameras and when Matt lies, Jesus loves his lil dickens.

Also, in real, not made up for the tv, bets, Matt? Matt lil crybaby dickens? You lost the second you untethered so all the bragging at this point is Matt lying and making Baby Jesus cry.

Matt hauls Amy around on the forklift and insists she could be more useful to him if she tried. Apparently there was an abandoned dune buggy in the woods. Then Matt makes Amy do his paperwork. He acts like its amazing she knows the address to the farm. Matt condescends how helpful she is. Meanwhile Amy notes how Matt refuses to see that she has a place in the world that doesn’t match his vision.

Amy is in the kitchen making supper and Matt demands protein. Matt insists on going out and takes her to Pondos for a product placement. Meanwhile Zach, Molly, etc are left at home. Everyone is really warmly dressed for summer. Funny how Jeremy is not in this scene.

Pondo meanwhile makes a sex joke about the tether. Matt continues to pretend he didn’t dump the tether like a little whining bitch and acts like he’s gutting it out. Pondo hands out sage wisdom in exchange for the product placement. Pondo basically tells Matt to go screw his wife. Amy btw describes an evening with Matt as Matt sitting on the bed for hours watching tv.

Now its morning and Matt whines, despite quitting already, how hard it is to deal with Amy working out and making breakfast. Matt insists that the pancakes need to cook on his time. They proceed to have an argument over the pancakes.

Matt insists to Molly,Zach, Jeremy and Jake that they didn’t cheat.  All the kids note that Matt lied and lost and the stupid tether thing is done. Oh, and Tori that gold digging bitch who only sees Zach to be around Jeremy per Jeremy’s fans, has gotten herself a job teaching. Funny that.

Matt and Amy debrief from the tethering. Amy thinks Matt needs to be concerned about more than just himself. Matt asks what she thinks pillow talk is about…. Honestly I always thought pillow talk was about sex. Matt notes he goes right to the bedroom when he comes home. Amy notes that’s why he has no idea what the dining room table or the living room is like. Matt chides Amy for the very fact that they are sitting when they could be working. Matt insists he wants to watch the tree be pruned.  Matt cuts off all the reflection by answering his cell.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Little People, Big World With The Roloffs: New Episode: A Bride And A Bulldozer - New Episode November 26, 2013

This a preview and then review of the new episode of "Little People, Big World" featuring the Roloff family airing tonight at 9:00pm on TLC.

Little People, Big World A Bride and a Bulldozer 

The third wedding of the season is a month away and the Roloffs have grand plans to make it the dreamiest, most magical ceremony yet! Matt and Amy hire an assistant, but she may do more harm than good - and their plans could literally come crashing down


Review Written By Rap541


Ok, so here’s the thing. I actually had this done and it was loaded up and then the computer ate it so I actually had to redo it and rewatch it.

So Jeremy lets us know how he hasn’t been home in a year and a half and how he just sees all these things he could be doing. This is voiced over as he manfully puts up some chicken wire. Funny, I am actually quite certain he’s been home a lot in the last year and a half and also that Mom and Dad voiced no concerns about him spending three or four months living with them with no apparent reason. Despite, you know, the fit they pitched at Zach.

Matt rolls up. Apparently Matt needs to let us know again how he spent years in the hospital and how awful it was and how he KNOWS  what it is to be set free.  That’s why having free range chickens is so important to him….

Matt also notes that while having Jeremy home is great, he’s worried that Jeremy, a grown man at 23, isn’t putting enough time into his school work. Since you know, Matt is all about school. Amy and Matt chat about why Jeremy has come home for the summer. They both seem to think it’s a very good question. I point out that clearly, we’re just going to ignore the whole “TLC is filming our family” reason and pretend there’s something darker involved.  Both Matt and Amy seem to think Jeremy is ready to quit school for farm life…. Which btw is pretty much what Matt has said in several episodes that he wants, one of the kids to take over the farm, but of course, for the sake of this episode, school is very very important to Matt. He says they have to dumb down the farm for Jeremy.  I don’t really get what he means by that.

The wedding couple show up in a cool classic car. Amy wants their car. Its Kevin and Meredith. There’s the standard tour of the farm and it’s a month away. The couple seems nice.  He’s a fireman. She works in some way. He did a sweet proposal with a burning fire and a fire truck. Its cute.

So now, because Matt is all about Jeremy focusing on school, he and Amy are hiring a new assistant to help with the weddings.  Amy asks a lot of questions about qualifications to the candidates which *amazes* Matt. He seems to think its bitchy. Matt wants someone fun, while Amy is all about someone qualified. They interview Heidi who seems to have no qualifications. Caryn asks her if she will clean up actual shit. Matt thinks she’s cute. There’s another candidate, Rose, who seems competent but Matt hates her because she’s forceful.  Matt gets his way.

Amy notes Matt can’t handle Rose. He notes he can handle any employee, he just fires people who don’t do as he says. The decision is clearly already made but because it’s the show, Matt and Amy have to rock paper scissors over it. I also note that Matt’s office is a pigsty.

Jeremy sadly looks at his books and confesses how he loves learning but reading and being on the computer and answering questions about financial things is just not stimulating at all. Poor baby!  Also its sort of interesting to note that the room Jeremy is in looks like an office in the garage. As in, it looks like a room in the house until the camera pulls away and you see the concrete floor and trashcans and bare space.

So the groom is building a head table with wine barrels and a chandelier, and an arbor. Matt insists on helping  by holding a barrel while it’s sawed and doesn’t wear safety glasses. There’s a montage of the groom manfully building things and I wish he’d take his shirt off. Matt makes a show of displaying himself, and also notes while Kevin is competent, he’s taking on too much.

Matt now leads Amy to the wine cellar to discuss the “special moment” that they always plan for the bride and groom. The wine cellar looks like it hasn’t been touched since the last episode it was in. There’s a frog on the table, there’s standing water in puddles. Amy openly wonders about snakes. She also wonders why it leaks and frankly so do I because that basement was previously filled with water and I kinda wonder if that’s such a great investment. Especially if you know, its used all of once a year. I mean, do these people take care of things?

Heidi wanders in as the new hire. Matt is all “welcome to chaos”. There’s a lengthy bit where Heidi asks for the cameras how Matt and Amy met and a montage of Heidi decorating and mopping. Matt decides to give her more responsibility since she’s so awesome. Btw the wedding house looks undone with no skirting at all around the house and stacks of building materials next  to it. A bit eye sore-ish for a brand new place. Matt condescends to trust her with driving a mule and makes a show of screaming yeah baby!

Jeremy lifts a straw bale and Matt calls him in because Matt is so concerned about Jeremy’s school work.  Jeremy notes at this point – two weeks in theory before the wedding, that his courses are going good. Matt gives him a paycheck and again expresses how important it is that Jeremy do well in school. Jeremy looks and sounds totally bored with the conversation. Matt notes to the cameras how Jeremy is drifting and will sink.

One week to the wedding, Heidi is doing things all wrong, and Matt yells at her and notes how stupid she is for getting the mule stuck in a ditch. Sweet Jesus people! He had to call Jeremy away from his so very important school work to rescue the mule!

You know, if school is this important to Matt, why didn’t he kick up any fuss at Jeremy taking an entire semester off? You know, so he could go to the Bahamas with Matt and hang around for Mueller’s wedding? Matt notes that Heidi is annoying, what with wearing wings to work. Matt decides Heidi is too dumb to be trusted so he dumps her off with Zach and Jake, and gives them the crappy chore of cleaning the wine cellar and decorating. The place looks pretty bad.

Jeremy  wanders in to the office. Jeremy is a little backed up with his school work and has homework and tests to do  so he’s “opting out” of working the wedding. Matt is shocked! Jeremy smirks as Matt plays it up. For the record, Jeremy, like Matt and Amy, isn’t much of an actor, this is a clearly staged moment.  Matt notes how proud he is of Jeremy being so responsible. Matt totally thinks homework is a priority! And he better not see Jeremy goofing around on the wedding day, to which Jeremy snots “yep yep” as he walks out.

Ok so let me explain what’s wrong here, and it’s not that Matt “I went to the school of hard knocks and school isn’t important” Roloff has suddenly gotten on the homework train (for Jeremy anyway).  No, folks, it’s that Jeremy Roloff is a lazy indulged immature piece of crap. What? Rap is being too harsh? Folks, Jer-bear is a 23 year old man who, counting his community college years, has been in college for years and has taken this summer off, thereby getting even more behind and still has at least a year to go. I’ve taken online college courses. Part of the student’s responsibility as an *adult* is to manage one’s time. In theory, what we saw was Jeremy essentially telling his boss he couldn’t come into work because he was too backed up with his own personal concerns. Do you want to know what a real employer, and not Daddy Matt, would say to that? “Either you show up to work, or I get someone else, your personal issues aren’t my problem.” But… no… Daddy Matt tells Jeremy how PROUD he is to hear that Jer-bear is so far behind in his school work, there’s no way he can work the wedding and still pass.

Seriously, he told Jeremy that Jeremy was being responsible. A 23 year old man can’t manage his time and that’s Matt’s idea of a good thing.

Kevin the groom is bringing his projects in. The chandelier is tied off on camera. It does look nice. They walk off and it promptly crashes. Matt yells dude at the groom’s brother. I kinda think this was faked for the cameras. The shop btw looks utterly disgusting. There’s wine on the kitchen counter.

Amy and Matt debate salami and cupcakes. Yes yes, we get the script, Matt and Amy. Seriously the faux arguing over the salami cupcakes reminds me why these two aren’t actors. And now we badly segue way into the product placement cupcakes, made by Hershey’s! Note the full shot of Hershey’s website and the chocolate wrappers on full display. Also Amy, brides getting into white dresses probably don’t want chocolate frosting anywhere near them.

Heidi is sent to sweep glass. Kevin works hard. Zach and Jake have a staged scene with Matt. A tent goes up. The new chandelier is magically twice the size of the old chandelier. It is a cool looking piece. We have some chat from the couple. People arrive for the rehearsal. They’re having the dogs as their ring bearers.

It’s the day of the wedding. Jeremy asks Molly to help with his schoolwork. Actually he’s taking an exam and needs “guidance” on the questions.  Molly is basically explaining balance sheets to him.  Ok, seriously, Molly, HD is not your friend. Please ask your mom or dad to take you to a dermatologist. There might be something that can help that acne. I really don’t mean that unkindly.  When I paused the video, her skin just looked raw. Please do something.

Now Daddy Matt looks on and asks how it was going. Matt now notes that this class was *critical* for Jeremy – which of course is why Matt is so gosh darned proud of how Jeremy did nothing and had to get out of work in order to get his school work done.  Yup, Matt’s proud that Jeremy made “the right decision” in blowing off his school work until the last minute.

Now more couple stuff. The camera doesn’t linger on it long but the new bridal house totally looks like a construction zone. Amy comes in with cupcakes. She shares the insane salami cupcakes idea and they all laugh.

Amy notes that Heidi seems to have gotten more competent.  I do like the kite decorations. Now we have some bride stuff since the Roloff family really doesn’t want to actually be on the show. Now the wedding begins. Is the barn part of the venue essentially as nothing but a back drop? The couple is sweet, I just don’t feel like recapping them. Needless to say, out of the 42 minutes of this show, the bride and groom got a good 16 minutes of the airtime.

Now Matt and Amy haul the couple to the dank wine cellar. Amy actually expresses concern about what it will look like since she hasn’t been down since the earlier filmed moment with the standing water, frogs and snakes. I note that people who are actually running a business will usually actually check on things before they go forward. It looks nice. Matt gives them a cute bottle of wine. There’s champagne. Matt notes how it was gorgeous.

Now there’s cake eating. The groom and bride dance around. Matt notes how everything on the farm is an eyesore. He decides that the middle of the wedding is the right time to get the bulldozer.  Amy chases after him. Amy gets up on the scoop and smirks and yells at Matt. Amy shakes her ass at him, he fake shouts he never gets his way and will completely reconfigure the farm!

Back to the bride and groom who eat s’mores and say thanks to Matt and Amy. I swear we spend two minutes saying good bye.

Now Amy and Matt argue over stuff. Matt insists on reinventing. Amy notes he never appreciates anything and never finishes things.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

New Little People, Big World Episode Featuring The Roloffs "Forever Young" On TLC

This is a preview and then review of the new episode of "Little People, Big World" tonight Novemeber 19th, 2013.

Little People, Big World: Forever Young TV-PG CC 

Desperate for a bridal suite solution, Matt convinces Amy that a pre-fab home is the best option - but getting the house in place and functioning by the next wedding proves disastrous! Zach adds to the tension, announcing that he wants to move back home.


Review written by Rap541:

Matt demands the kids pay attention to him and praise him. Jeremy kisses Dad's ass. Now Jeremy takes credit for the western town and the castle that TLC finished. This is pretty much all we see of him except for his later wish to marry on the farm.

Zack wanders in. This is clearly a staged scene. Matt completely refuses and then demands to know why. Apparently it costs money to live on your own. Zach calls it a two month thing. I'd like to point out that there was absolutely no fuss at all at the idea of Jeremy taking four months off from school (which is what actually happened) and moving back into the childhood home for that time. 

Now Amy and Matt take a nice couple on the wedding barn tour. They seem to like the grassy field but want a huge cross up. Apparently its ok to have the reception in the barn. Hmmm its all of five weeks to the wedding. 

Matt hauls Amy to the open pit that is the old house. Matt wants the prefab manufactured home but he wants to have it positioned perfectly. Matt openly notes that Amy has no aesthetic sense and then tells Amy to get the hell away from him so he can have Matt Roloff time.

Now the argument is over, with Amy noting she doesn't know why Matt bothers to ask her anything. Then Amy notes his office is plan b and he throws an utter hissy, noting that his feelings are never considered.

They meet with the wedding people. Their theme is confused and the guy finally asks about the bridal suite. Matt plans to have the manufactured home but SOMETHING will be worked out. Matt notes how the manufactured hime is all rush rush because they had no idea in January they'd need a bridal suite.

Zach unloads a box of stuff. He seems to be taking Molly's room?

More construction. Matt tells Amy how the house is coming. Matt notes that thre's no way they will get it in on time. I note that the product placement signs are oddly obscured. Funny how Matt starts shrieking at the workers. Something cracked?

Despite Matt's shrieking, no one who actually knows what they are doing seems concerned in the slightest. Matt notes on camera how picky the damn county is and how they might not have time to get shit done. 

Matt wants to show Amy is idea for the wedding's special moment. He's chosen the school house and explains to the camera the farce that is the special moment - essentially this is all forced for the cameras because the wedding people aren't actually paying so they have to jump thru hoops. Amy notes she wishes the couple would keep each other engaged. Matt notes this is a smack on him and THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Amy seems to be trying to say something important. Matt completely dismisses her. 

Now its three days to the wedding. There's crap everywhere and the wedding might be ruined. Amy makes the "kids" fill glasses with hershey kisses. Matt runs in and this gets very staged with Matt "being a lil dickens" steaing glasses and shoving kisses in his pockets.

Now they decorate the school house and Jeremy sagely notes how he might marry on the farm. If TLC offers to pay him I am sure it will happen. Hey Amy, what are your views on whoring out your son's marriage? 

The wedding couple goes on about how being married is nice. Meanwhile there's no water in the new house.

The inspectors wont let the house be used because there's no water and Matt is all "She'll have to go in the barn because I am NOT letting anyone in my office!"

Matt's all amazed that an actual plumber to fix the water and then snots while holding the permit that he usually doesn't ask permission, he asks forgiveness. Yeah, I'm sure having to settle the lawsuit oof the woman who broke her leg in your unpermitted pavillon had *nothing* to do with your sudden need to ask permission, did it? And hey, how did the appeal on your case about the inspectors violating you come out? Cause rumor has it you lost. 

The bride is impressed with the new house. The groom loads a cross up and the groom is then taken on a tour of the farm. Then we see the groom and friends playing ball and Zach and Jeremy don't care about the time. Amy notes they had to call in a caterer. Yeah I don't believe that the caterer needed to pick veggies from the Roloff garden. Matt notes that Jeremy and Zach haven't returned with the menfolk. Someone tells the bride the groom is missing. Matt brays to the boys how they're all late for the wedding and honestly, with the camera crew pointedly noting the twins not caring about the time and Matt's patented fake shouting... yeah, staged drama. 

The wedding happens. They seem like a nice couple. Matt and Amy have Vespas for the couple to ride to the schoolhouse for the mandated staged moment showcasing the farm. To be fair, the schoolhouse is a lot nicer than making the previous couple dance in the dirty saloon. Having them ride the Vespas seems like an accident waiting to happen. Back at the catering, Amy is helping because that is perfectly acceptable, you know, someone completely unconnected to the caterer handling the food.

Amy yells at the catering staff. There's toasts and speeches and I note that I think we saw the Roloff kids (including Jer who *sacrificed* an entire semester at his photography college, therefore putting off his career and his dream) for maybe all of five minutes on screen. And most of that was Zach moving back in despite, per the anons out there, the reality that he's making a handsome living being paid for this five minutes! Honestly there clearly wasn't much of the Roloffs to film because there was a LOT of the wedding people.

Amy rightly notes that Matt actually hates the weddings because they are very organized and have to follow a certain pattern. Matt of course gets annoyed and gives a little speech about how marriage sucks. 

Friday, November 15, 2013

Roloffs Lose Appeal On All Counts In Case VS Washington County

This will be a very brief update simply to pass along news.

As previously noted in articles both on our Spiritswander Blog and in places like Portland Business Journal, the Roloffs basically lost their case vs Washington County in the trespassing case. In the original lawsuit, most of the case was dismissed and then both sides reached an agreement.

However, the Roloffs appealed the decision. The Portland Business Journal had a few articles which were linked by Matt Roloff on his Facebook Fan Page about the Roloffs appealing the case.

The appeal has been heard and there has been a ruling.

The Roloffs lost the appeal on all counts including the part that involves this blog. Part of their stated reason for appealing was that the original judge (Judge Mosman) granted Spiritswander's Motion To Quash the Subpoena the Roloffs filed demanding that the personal and private information of myself and every person that has ever posted a comment on this blog be handed over to Matt and Amy Roloff. Matt posted on Facebook (and linked to his twitter at the time) that his act of subpoenaing Google was perhaps the "funnest" thing Matt had ever done in his life. The appeal court upheld the original ruling about the value of anonymous online speech outweighing the Roloffs need for discovery.

That's about all I can say say about the documents in the appeal because it says it is not for publication. If you are interested, it is available on the pacer website if you care to search for the case and spend the few cents it takes to access the documents.

People have been inquiring over the past several months so we are simply informing everyone of the decision. The appeal has been heard and the Roloffs lost.

I would like to once again thank everyone who offered their various forms of support to the Spiritiswander Blog throughout the entire process.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

New Little People, Big World Episode Featuring Roloff Family - November 12, 2013 "Game On!"

Here is a preview and then recap of the new episode of Little People, Big World on TLC tonight at 9:00pm on TLC.

Little People, Big World (Season 9) Game On! 

 In hopes of recapturing the old Roloff farms spirit and encouraging the kids to help out more - Matt decides to throw the first annual Family Game Day. However, there can only be one winner and everyone’s true competitive colors come out in full force!


Recap written by Rap541:

So Matt and Amy are "refocusing" on pumpkin season. Apparently they normally prep for six months but this year they want a fun zone and a corn maze. Matt notes how IMPOSSIBLE it is. Matt notes how HOPELESS it is and how he can't depend on the family.

The four kids note if they don't leave soon, Dad will make them work so they go innertubing. Everyone, including Jeremy "Always wanting to be at Matt's side" Roloff would rather goof off for the cameras having fun, leaving Dad to work.

Matt meanwhile wants the trebuchet to finally be repaired but notes his kids are crap who won't help him, leaving him to gut it out alone with no help. He could use the kids but Amy notes the kids get tired of work. Matt notes that whatever he says is fun is fun, and no one should question that. However he wants to connect with the kids without pissing them off by expecting them to do anything.

Matt calls a family meeting to let them know he wants them to have a family game day for the cameras because otherwise TLC will have nothing but weddings and bitching and dead dogs to film. Essentially it sounds like Matt making everyone be his toys. Tori shows up. Apparently the teams are random. They run off on a timed mule race?

For the reality, as presented by Matt, it is a little obnoxious and spoiled that his mostly adult children can't handle a summer that is mostly work. I mean Christ Almighty on the cross, Jeremy and Zach are both 23... summers off ended a few years ago.  Funny how the Roloff kids are never ever willing to be grateful on camera that at age 23 they can spend a day, and really an entire summer, goofing off like 16 year olds and getting paid to act like children. Yes Roloffs, I'm judging your spoiled kids.

So everyone watches the mule race. I'm really not going to really recap the race except that its innane. Matt and Molly race, then Tori and Amy = Tori sucks at basketball although Amy seems sorta ok with it. Then Tori screws up picking cherries. Its amusing how pointed they are about buckling up... something we have never seen with the kids. jeremy snots how fast he is compared to Zach and really... I kinda hope someone twice Zach's size is a bit faster at running, Jer.

There's a ton of whining. The boys do the race. While there's pointed seat belts on calls, it's also obvious they aren't wearing seat belts a lot. Matt starts shrieking no seat disqualified! He rants a bit but Amy allows it.

Now we're at the minefield competition that seems to ripped off blatantly from Survivior. The teams change for no apparent reason. Jake tries to talk Jeremy through, it's bad, they switch and its ok. Matt and Amy do the course and Amy is annoyed that Matt is rather openly playing to the cameras. Matt btw is all about shrieking at Amy constantly. Matt notes how Amy wasn't listening and he did a better job. Then Dad rides off in a huff over something.

So now its a cooking challenge and Matt btw admits to being frustrated and running off in a huff. Zach and tory make cheesy spaghetti. What? Not some recipe from Amy's cook book? SO basically Tori does it while the entire family runs off. Amy is the judge btw. Jeremy and Jake have "omelat and a smoothie". They put hamburger in the omelat. Jeremy apparently has no idea how to make an omelat and it's sad. The smoothie has carrots and spinach and milk?  The "burrito" has peppers, jalapenos, hamburger... it honestly sounds gross.

Matt and Molly have fish tacos. Molly tells Matt to get her spinach. Yeah, Molly is the one who takes after Matt. The fish tacos look good. Amy gives Tory/Zach a 12, Jeremy and Jake a 9 and Matt/Molly a 15.

Now they are writing trivia questions? God this is dumb. Amy owns Matt. Jake and Zach both suck at family trivia. There's an endless debate over when Matt proposed to Amy and I so could care less. And pretty much they could care less too.

Now there's a soccer game and we kill a few minutes with that. Every waxes on soccer and then we're in the living room deciding who wins based on some fantasical system that is essentially devoid of meaning.

A commercial for next weeks ep implies all this family harmony? Hmmm for nothing as Matt and Amy continue the divorce debate.

Jake is number two and Jeremy is number one because you know, he's clearly not going to handle not geting his ass kissed. Matt notes how awesome it is and then next day everyone goes out to work on the trebuchet because they're kinda required by TLC. Amy is worried but Matt wants it so screw how anyone else feels about it. It works. Everyone eats tacos and honestly this was really pretty fake. By fake I mean this. What are the odds that there will ever be an unfilmed "family game day"?

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

New Episode of "Little People, Big World" Featuring The Roloffs: "Till Death Do Us Part" November 5th, 2013

Here is a preview and then review on the new episode of Little People, Big World, which is airing tonight at 9:00pm on TLC:

Little People, Big World (Season 9) Till Death Do Us Part TV-PG CC With pressure of the first wedding weighing heavily, tensions between Matt and Amy rise. Matt’s careless ways have complicated preparations and as the bride arrives, the Roloffs are woefully unprepared. Meanwhile, Rocky’s health continues to decline.


 Review Written By Rap541:

So for the record, it was announced on Jake Roloff's Twitter in December 2012 that the dog had cancer, and the dog died in June 2013.

Matt portrays this as a few weeks ago but the reality is that the diagnosis was some six months earlier. So the kids being told upon arriving from college at the end of spring semester is a lie. 

So the dog's got a hand up his ass and the doc says there's a giant tumor.... and nothing happens. The dog totters around. There's home movies of the dog in better days. The chat with the kids feels a tad forced and Jeremy blithely notes he's already lived longer than expected. 

They do some maintenance at the farm, oiling the road. Matt sends Jeremy to fix the road. Jeremy notes his father will criticize him no matter what. Matt seriously slurs his words talking to Jeremy. The wedding barn that was picked up last week with hay etc, is picked up again featuring the same hay. 

Matt and Amy meet with the wedding people. They want a country wedding, with boots and cowboys. The wedding planner asks about the bridal suite. Matt notes how there's nothing but there will be *something*. Another clue these people aren't paying for this. 

Matt demands Amy come to the office to discuss how she screwed up and insisted on burning down the bridal suite. He wants to trot in a manufactured home. Matt's visibly annoyed that Amy is not immediately on board. 

Caryn assigns chores to the kids. Wild West town is looking very ramshackle. Matt notes how he wants to serve champagne. The Saloon looks quite dirty. Matt finds Jeremy and asks "about school" and also wants to find the old wagon? The old wagon is gross. 

Two weeks to the wedding! Matt hauls the kids out to scour the saloon. Matt leaves them cleaning to check on Jeremy who is power washing the trailer. Zach notes how he's not interested in running the farm. Matt does some sort of guilt trip on the boys, noting how he needs them to pitch in. 

The week before the wedding! Amy notes how putting the bridal suite in the barn is icky. Matt wants a yurt. Amy thinks Matt should transform his office since it has a bathroom and a couch and no additional cost but NO! NOT MATT'S office - he wants a trailer!

Matt notes how the wedding season that he didn't advertise for is important. Btw there's only three weddings at this venue and all are filmed. Also Jeremy had someone refinish the wagon for him. Matt notes how "their" timing was perfect and he had to rent a trailer as a bridal suite. The groom and bride seem nice. They rehearse and oddly the officiant couldn't make the rehearsal so Matt stands in for the offiicant. It feels fake and contrived and an opportunity to Matt to get attention. 

Amy feeds Rocky special meals. She doesn't top my mom hand feeding her dog Riley a special pumpkin diet.

Matt notes he's gonna die. Amy gets annoyed with the "I'm gonna die " talk. The wedding is on. Amy notes Burgundy looks like death. Molly btw speaks and mostly looks annoyed at the whole business. The bride notes its hot and there's coffee and sandwiches and that's a vomit moment.

Three hours until the ceremony! The bride tells Matt about the vomit and wonders if the trailer shaking makes her vomit. Matt notes that the bride vomiting is a bad omen.

Meanwhile the tractor is dying! And the bride is made pretty. Molly and Jeremy are "mapping the route" to western town? Gosh how scary considering the whole "we've lived here our entire lives" thing. Jeremy notes he is to take photos because he's dreamed since a child to be a wedding photographer for daddy. The bride and groom seem sweet and I like their color scheme. I like the preacher. Matt shrieks for Jeremy and of course this is cut to look like it happens during the ring and kiss scene. OMG! WILL THE TRACTOR NOT START AND RUIN THE WEDDING??? MATT SHRIEKS AT JEREMY!

Sure enough, despite being a "close call" the tractor starts and Jeremy hauls the bride and groom to the saloon where there's a hee haw band and Matt in a cowboy hat and champagne. There's a brief dance in the saloon and its very obvious that the bride and groom were dragged down to the saloon solely for the cameras as none of their friends and family were there. They are hauled back to the reception. Oh look Audrey assisting Jeremy. Oh good, the bride and groom don't smoosh cake on each other. Matt notes he wants Jeremy to finish the wedding book. I notice how Jeremy is being emphasized as daddy's special helper. 

So Matt asks the family if they are having fun but *Jeremy* is surprising the family by taking them on a tractor ride! Because that sure sounds like Jer doesn't it? 

Matt demands Amy make a sandwich and Jeremy walks in and says "Rocky's dead!" 

Oh lord the dog is splayed out on the lawn. Everyone was clearly called to stand there. Matt rubs his eyes like President Obama does and then tells everyone to go dig a grave. Oh look the servants haul the body out and Matt makes a scene. Jeremy looks bored, Molly walks off. 

Matt gives us a speech about how he's gotta keep moving on despite the pain he feels for the dog he wanted to kill three years ago, specifying that he preferred Rocky die by shotgun because that's how Old Yeller bought it. Oh and hey, lets not forget Matt snickering with glee how his beloved pet was locked in a closet for three days and lost weight, or the Roloff kids asking each other "remember when we forgot to feed Rocky for a week" or Zach yanking the beloved dog up by the neck into the car, or Matt telling us how the dog had signs of an eye problem for close to a year and he was just getting into the vet.... 

 Look. I'm not a pet person. And it's very obvious to me that no one in the Roloff clan is a pet person. My mom was sobbing the day I had to help her get Sherman (Sherman Tank) our akita into the truck for the ride to the vet, and she was so upset, my brother had to hold her in the waiting room while I hugged the poor dog and made sure he had his Barney the Dinosaur plushie at the end. 

I didn't see a tear, and the Roloffs weren't raised British the way I was. Sorry folks, but a cancer diagnosis six months earlier... this feels all about the cameras and the Benjimans.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Little People, Big World New Episode October 29, 2013 - "Playing With Fire"

Here is the preview and then review of the new episode of "Little People, Big World" featuring the Roloff family on TLC at 9:00pm Tuesday October 29, 2013.

9:00 PM 60 MIN. Little People, Big World (Season 9) Playing With Fire

For the first time in years, all four Roloff kids will be home for the summer. With wedding season fast approaching, the family wastes no time - all chipping in to get the farm ready. Matt hatches a wild scheme... and the family is hit with tragic news.


Review written by Rap541:

So for a change, this isn’t on super late. On the other hand, it’s interfering with Person of Interest, which I enjoy as well. But *one* of these shows will be available on Itunes and it’s not LPBW. 

Btw, being spoiled, I know who is being referred to in the commercials where Matt shakes his head in the doctor’s office as he gets bad news and really, after all of Matt’s telling people how his health is precarious, it’s really in poor taste.

So Matt is all “its summer! Time to completely expand the farm! I have to recoup the money from the wedding farm!” Because that’s so a real business. Oh and Matt intends to work the kids to the bone! Amy is against that, of course. Matt insists he will spend no money. Amy notes this is a bald faced lie. 

Jeremy comes home in a new truck thing. He notes how despite being home every other weekend, and for several significant overseas vacations, he’s been away two years and hasn’t seen the family. Molly’s summer plan is to buy a new car because the muscle car she owns isn’t ok for school. Jeremy is also annoyed that he lost his bed room and also isn’t allowed to take his spot at the table. Basically he’s a bit of a baby over it. Matt advises them they will all be working. No one seems concerned. Also its really noticeable how the family is pointedly sitting around the table as a family for dinner. 

At the office barn, Amy and Matt discuss less expensive ideas for improvements. Like greenhouses and such, but then Matt screeches “Expansion!!”. He demands Amy ride around the farm and listen to his ideas because this isn’t forced at all. He wants towers and a kiddie funzone. Amy notes the cost. They head into the wedding barn and note all the hay and dead birds and general mess. Matt notes how he can’t enjoy an utter mess. The bridal suite at the old house is a mess. Broken windows, bad electricity, dead flies. Matt wants to whip his dick out and track hoe destroy the place. Amy thinks that’s a bad idea. 

It’s only a month until wedding season! Which means a greenhouse? “The kids all chipped in to work!” They all look disgruntled. They also look to be doing fairly minimal on screen scenes for the cameras. Matt tells Amy he wants to burn down the bridal suite. Geez I totally see where this is going. 

Matt wants to let the fire department do a practice burn and then put in a manufactured home. Amy notes the whole no more spending. Matt lies to her face that it won’t happen. 

Now the kids are forced to film a scene planting stuff. 

Matt goes to pet the dog and Matt voices over how the dog has a tumor. There’s a long maudling scene of Matt rolling on the ground with the dog. Sorry Matt, the scene I will always remember of you and your beloved dog is you expressing how you wanted Jeremy to kill the dog for you. Oh, and I also remember your facebooking how awesome it was that your best old pal you loved so much really did get locked in a closet and not fed for three days. 

Jeremy and Zach discuss school. Jeremy is taking an entire semester off to play on the farm and film. Zach is on year four or five of his two year degree. There’s a random shot of a Mexican teen in the fields. 

Oh look Matt bald face lies to his wife and sends her off for seeds so he can let the fire dept in to burn the house down. I’m thinking this is all completely staged because neither of these two are good actors. And look, its Matt ordering the fire trucks around and cackling . He pointedly tells the firemen how his wife is a bitch that he lies to so they better start setting fires before she gets back. Yeah that house was pretty flammable. Jeremy notes that Mom will be upset. This also seems forced. 

Amy’s “gosh, that’s smoke! I *wonder* where it’s coming from??” was pretty damn fake. 

Oh good god, TLC is now exploiting FLDS runaways. 

So Amy runs up to Matt and is all “what?” but she is also laughing and smiling and this is all so fake. So now they have a burned hole which will look very attractive for the weddings. Matt haybales how that’s just how he rolls. 

Zach shows up with pizza. The kids all casually discuss how the dog won’t last the summer. No one seems all that upset. In fact its just sort of a given to them .Molly notes in a confessional that Zach is wasting his time in school. The kids all sit about the campfire making smores. Yeah, that wasn’t staged. Who wants to bet they all smoked weed after? Now Jeremy gets on the “Zach’s a piece of garbage” train. Yeah big boy, you’re taking the summer off to play. Think about it. I’m also wondering how your career in photography will go once Mommy and Daddy stop funding you.

Two weeks until the wedding season! Where there is only three weddings! Matt wants to put a replica of Tara as the new bridal suite. Because really, that’s not ridiculous at all. They proceed to argue about “the wedding business”. Amy notes she is the brakes and Matt thinks brakes are dumb. Personally this lil argument also feels staged. I also wish they’d stop discussing the weddings as though it’s a serious business. They’re having three. The entire summer, and three weddings. It’s not a real business. A real business would have had weddings booked months ago. 

Oh its two weeks to the wedding season and no weddings are booked yet. Yeah, that’s believable – especially after watching the fanboys and girls constantly ask Matt how they can book his farm. And why is there hay in the wedding barn to begin with when they don’t keep animals there? Considering the nature of the farm, no animals and only used for weddings, I could see the place being dusty but filled with hay? Why? Zach and Tory play soccer – she’s apparently just graduated from college and plans to be a teacher. She “works on the farm”. Zach wants to finish school. 

Now Matt is going on about how they put so much money into the expansion, they need to book Erica and her man. Or else they might lose the farm? The couple seems cute. The grass is all icky. The couple is not impressed with the open pit. Matt of course notes “We didn’t know what we were thinking” over the empty burnt pit. Because while I think that whole pile of stupidity was completely arranged for the cameras, it was still depicted as Matt doing what he wants cause he’s a man and his lil wifey doesn’t deserve to be treated as an equal partner. Funny how when there’s a burned up pit after, suddenly Matt made that decision with help. Way to man up and own your actions, Matt! The couple plays along but yes the decision to “sign the contract” seems like more staging.

Now grim music as we see Rocky. Amy and Matt argue over the ruts. Amy wants them fixed and Matt notes how he has to be the one to do it. Since its basically calling a contractor, I don’t buy it. As in how much physical effort for Matt is it really, to get the ruts fixed? Oh gosh and golly Zach is making a film with Jeremy to hand in for his lit class. Really, it’s not that hard to pass a lit class, Zach. They rush to school because handing stuff at the last minute is smart.

So Matt is taking Rocky to the vet. Not sure I need to see the doc put his hand up the dog’s butt. 

And sadly Rocky has fast growing cancer. 

Now Matt tells Amy the news about Rocky. Amy says “that’s a bummer”. I’ll throw Amy a bone in that I don’t think she’s a pet person. Matt tells the kids as they eat around the table that the dog is dying, it will be a fast slide and of course it’s all about Matt and how upset Matt will be. The kids don’t seem that upset, mostly accepting of reality. Matt of course takes the dog out on a filmed tour of the farm, asking Rocky his opinions and about his memories and then of course Matt patting the dog and howling for the cameras. Because this is indeed, all about Matt and Matt’s needs and wants.

The previews look like everyone is acting.