The bonus footage isn’t all that interesting. Amy and Lisa pretending to be married and painting each other was an odd choice, I admit. The gate project is still obviously make work and I still wonder why there is a couch out in the junkyard near the goat gate. Amy strikes me as ready to move on. Also there’s a weird pagoda sort of structure all thru the goat gate stuff.
We start with Matthew on an ATV whining about how he’s getting a divorce. There’s much fond reminiscing about how awesome Matt is for building a playground. Matt notes how he wants all the kids to live there forever and also all the grandkids.
Huh, Jeremy turns up. Amy notes how often he visits the farm. Jacob’s room is now a guest room. Jeremy notes how awesome his mom was for him. Personally I don’t like the curtains. Amy notes that Jeremy is around to help Zach get a tux. Audrey isn’t coming but will be there soon.
Jeremy heads fifty feet over to Matt’s house, and Matt notes how AWESOME it is that Jeremy is around. Jeremy notes that the sauna makes the place smell like bachelor pad. Hmm…. Jeremy hates Los Angeles. Despite all the prior previous love expressed. Jeremy really wants to be invited to stay. Interesting how quickly the tide turns.
Now we’re off to do a fitted suit. FYI – this is clearly comped and fitted suits are expensive. But there are some valid points raised about how clothes look on dwarfs. Zach is funny with how he is amused by the color grey. To be fair, its nice that Zach wants to look nice for a change.
Now Amy is making pumpkin salsa! She’s *refining* it. Yes, yes the Roloffs are making pumpkin salsa and marketing it. Hmmm… no Roloff Salsa on Amazon.
Zach and Tori debate wedding invite etiquette. Also the guest list is exploding. Zach really wants to go to the courthouse and email everyone. Zach is visiting Mom at the big house and wants to take Tori for a special date. Where he makes a meal and of course he wants Amy to help and this feels sooo staged. Also Amy refused to just make the meal for them. Amy is obsessed with Zach making the whipping cream. She also wants him to make garlic.
Meanwhile at the secret Matt office. Amy and Matt are going into the pumpkin salsa business. They are planning a taste test. I don’t know… pumpkin salsa sounds really gimmicky. I will admit, I am pretty easy going about my salsa but if it is “exotic” then it needs to be *really* good. Matt wants the taste test in the wine cellar as it is “neutral”. Amy wants it in the main house, no doubt because she recalls all the spiders, snakes obvious open holes in the walls, and collapsing bricks of the wine cellar. Did I mention the standing water?
Now we’re at the house, at the tasting test. There’s pumpkin peach and two other flavors, pumpkin verde and pumpkin corn. And a fake salsa to trick people. Matt tells the testers that Amy wants it done chipless. She immediately disagrees. Everyone tries the salsa. Most people don’t like three, and everyone seems to like one. Pumpkin peach won, and the store bought was the crappy number three so yay!
Jeremy is out on the mule with dad. Now he muses on how he loves the farm. Matt hay bales how they’re redefining the family. Matt tells the three boys he wants them to all live on the farm. Jeremy is pretty openly planning to move back (ahem). Jacob is “um ok” and Zach is like “it depends if I will be Jeremy’s bitch”.
Now Zach is making food for Tori. Zach makes a mess. Apparently biscuits are torture. There’s a burned pot.
Zach is taking Tori to her fav spots and they smooch. Tori thinks the wedding is for other people but the marriage is for the two of them. And the dog. Tori is shyly pleased that Zach set the table and made a theoretically edible meal. Tori manages to not vomit, yay! Then Zach turns on the Christmas lights and they have a sweet on camera date that didn’t look too forced.
Now we’re up to Tori getting a dress. They all drink mimosas. Amy seems shocked that Tori included her even though Audrey already did and this was filmed for the cameras. I’m too jaded from My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding because I am all “where are the glowing butterfly lights? Why is no one saying the f-word? WHERE IS THE BLING???”… I like that they did make an effort to keep the dress a secret. It’s cutesy but I allow it.
So the expo is happening and if they go national then there’s a huge profit. Matt somehow wants a couch at the booth. Amy is also a bit anti-Roloff red. Matt also wants his face on the label. I won’t fault them for trying but the salsa is gimmicky. I notice even though I think Jacob was there, he’s not in this. It’s like a dull Dragoncon, where no one is selling steampunk goggles. Matt notes how if the salsa doesn’t sell, the FARM IS DONE!
“TRY SOME SALSA!” Matt shouts. No one comes so Zach is sent out to peddle the salsa. Suddenly there’s people everywhere! There’s word of mouth. I dunno…. To be honest, I’ve had a lot of salsa and to be honest, I like me some cilantro, tomatoes, peppers and onions. I don’t even like mango salsa even tho I adore mangos. I will try it if it turns up on amazon.