Review Written By Rap 541
Matt in previously scenes notes how Zach’s wedding is all about his need to do some project.
So this will be about a windmill. Because why not? There’s a montage of farm scenes and then Matt calls from the magical office and demands Amy attend a state of the union meeting. They talk about the gazebo. Amy nots that NOW that she’s an empty nester, she loves having the kids return. Matt is all “No one seems to like the salsa”. There’s no orders and they may need to market it locally.
Tory is making mason jar personalized glasses. I really find arts and crafts dull so this is boring. On the plus side I like the idea of *receiving* a personalized mug at a wedding.
Molly and Amy are doing a baking class for no real reason but the cameras. There’s much commentary on Amy’s cake failure. They are going to make a mayonnaise cake. For someone who has actually written a cook book, Amy seems pretty clueless about cooking. The whole thing is fun except that its all clearly forced for the cameras. Molly at least has gotten better in front of the cameras. The cake made is for the rehearsal dinner.
Now Matt and Jeremy (up from Los Angeles) are doing stuff. Matt feels various areas of the farm are boring. They decide it’s time to build a giant windmill and of course Matt loves everything Jeremy suggests, and it will also be a walk around bar. Amusingly they pretend there might be other weddings on the farm for non Roloffs.
Tory and Zach struggle to seat people. First world problems, kids. There’s weirdness about separating the parents at tables. Matt is all “I need Jeremy to approve the windmill” and Jeremy of course tongue bathes Matt and Matt makes sure to note how Jer is his kid.
Now Matt and Amy go to the grocery stores locally and pitch their salsa. If the salsa business doesn’t work, yup, they could lose the farm. The store chain is small but they vaguely resemble a Wegmans so maybe they are good. (Wegmans lovers sound off). They pitch their salsa as gluten free and vitamin filled.
So after a commercial break, Darren at “Roth’s” wants to do a taste test. Matt is surprisingly negative about the whole thing.
Next up Zach and Tory turn up in the barn to see the giant windmill project. Zach expresses some concern that it won’t be finished in time, as is Tory. Zach and Tory have reservations but accept that their wedding is about Matt and not them.
Molly schools Zach on Jane Austin. Zach, Jeremy and Molly have a communal fire. Molly notes how Jeremy only theoretically lives in Los Angeles. Jeremy notes how despite all his comments, he really hates Los Angeles and wants to be on the farm. Molly and Zach both comment how they don’t plan to live on the farm. Molly wants to fly the nest. Jeremy notes how he wants the farm and hmmm this doesn’t feel like Jeremy asserting his rights to the property at all!
Now there’s windmill parts. No one seems to know what to do, and Matt publically chides Sven for daring to suggest they read the instructions and not wing it. We watch as everyone flails about not knowing what they are doing. No one, including precious engineering minded Jeremy, has any idea what to do.
Matt gets the call from Darren and gets an order on camera.
Zach and Tory are doing a photo backdrop and need pallets. Matt wants *good*wood pallets but somehow the pallets on the farm aren’t good enough. Matt offers to treat Zach’s friends to ice cream at DQ because apparently they’re all five years old. This doesn’t feel staged at all as everyone perfectly comments on the ice cream shakes they want to the camera and sit around toasting blizzards. Matt tells all the “boys” to get pallets because Tory is such a horrible person. Its Mueller and Dan and Jake.
Matt continually comments on how the pallets are “sketch”. Zach notes that Matt is micromanaging. The pallet thing is an interesting photo background but not my style. Tory likes it and has a blond friend in tow.
Jeremy notes how the windmill is a nightmare. He doesn’t understand the plans and neither does Matt. Matt pointedly corrects Jeremy’s errors on camera and notes how the deadline won’t be met. Huh… how can Jeremy not instinctively manage? I mean he’s Matt’s chosen!
Matt calls for Camarino as Jeremy is failing. Matt is all “There’s drama and the wedding will suck”. He openly chides the Not Jeremy workers for their failures. Someone other than Jer completes significant portions of the windmill.
Molly and Tory go shopping for dresses. Molly notes how Tory is her best friend and Tory is all “Yay Molly will be my sister!” and this is actually quite sweet.
Meanwhile the windmill is still being toiled over. There’s a tower, and a crane and clearly most of the work has been done by people other than Matt and Jer. Jake appears and doesn’t speak. Oh hey, the windmill has to fit perfectly in the brackets and the brackets don’t fit and Matt notes how it MAY NOT GET DONE IN TIME FOR THE WEDDING!!!
Matt shouts again that they don’t fit! Matt send Jer to make it fit and of course it does and Matt triumphantly shouts his joy. Then Matt gets into his mechanical penis to pretend he did something. Apparently establishing a folly windmill with no accompanying bar is a huge thing. Somehow the windmill will provide some shade despite not being all that filled in. Tory notes “Boys and their toys” and seems to know what she married into.
Matt and Amy head to the local store to look at the pumpkin salsa being sold. Roth’s does look like a Wegmans but there’s no way they’re as cool.