Episode review written by Rap541
So I have finished packing for Dragoncon. And now we’re having a candid talk with the Roloffs. The season started with a lengthy clip show and ends with what seems to be a clip show.
Not sure who the blonde chippy is, but she seems pleasant. Heh, no Jacob. Where’s Jacob? Amy vaguely doesn’t answer at all, and there’s utterly no explanation as to why he’s not there.
Jeremy is doing photos and Audrey is thinking of writing and have moved to Bend. And now we’re into clips of Matt delighting in how it was raining on the wedding day. It’s interesting that Matt has Jer and Auj on his couch, while Amy has Zach, Tori and Molly. There’s a lot of wedding talk and Amy expresses how she was impressed that Zach spoke well for a change. Zach and Tory are cute and giggly. Zach’s teeth look better. Matt insists he was totally freaked out during all those scenes where he was dancing with glee over the rain.
More clips of Tory and Zach arguing over the tent. Now we have the church being dragged around. The blonde asks how cool the farm was when they were kids. Honestly this is dull.
Tory is asked rather softly about the dwarfism and was she creeped out by the sex, etc etc etc. She says it doesn’t matter to her. Zach admits to being awkward with girls. Basically Zach feels like a stud with Tory. They want children. The blonde asks about the possibility of dwarf children. Tory admits to having some concerns and Amy bucks her up. Zach now says it will be three years to babytime for them. Tory is shocked! Amused and shocked. Jer and Auj decline to say if they’re pregnant and Auj keeps her hand firmly on Jer’s crotch for a lot of the talk. Jer is wearing some sort of weird leggings. Molly has a boyfriend.
Someone asks about raising average size kids. Auj’s hand is still in Jer’s lap. Amy blah blahs about raising kids, the kids blah blah about having little parents.
Now we’re showing clips of the divorce talk. Yup Auj has her hand on Jer’s crotch. All the makeup is really well done, btw. Now clips of the pumpkin salsa and the mud run. And now clips of Matt on his mechanical penis aka the track hoe. Matt’s latest project is a giant concrete pumpkin, which may be Amy’s idea… that she got from James and the Giant Peach. The blonde notes that the projects cause friction. Amy notes they cost money. Auj’s hand is on Jer’s crotch. Amy notes that the real problem is that Matt’s projects overtake everyone else’s life. Matt pretends to quit the interview.
Now we have Matt and Amy next to each other on the couch and the blonde is digging in her claws into the divorce. Matt notes that the show is the twins life that they don’t know anything else… which is odd that Molly and Jacob aren’t included in that. Matt and Amy both insist the show was always about education. Apparently the farm was a sty when they bought it. Matt still insists the western town and pirate ship were entirely for the kids and not as attractions for the paying customers and apparently Matt has forgotten some of his other interviews. Amy nicely articulates her problems with the projects, namely that Matt insists and overrides her and there’s never time or resources for anyone but Matt. Now clip shows of Matt and Amy bickering. Matt loves the cameras. Matt insists they don’t argue much despite the whole clip show of the arguing. Amy notes she can’t answer without actively disagreeing with Matt publicly and doesn’t.
Also they now say they knew each other for 14 days before marrying. What attracted them to each other? Amy says his creativity, Matt doesn’t really answer. Amy says they lived separate lives. The blonde goes for the empty nest comments. Amy is all “Matt still has his hobby, the farm” and how she has been feeling lost. She does give some good advice to the rare stay at home moms that they should really consider their resumes. Amy is doing the vast majority of the talking. God is this really two freaking hours long?
Are they weirded out that Tory is average height? Nope, not at all. The blonde harps on how alone Amy is in the house now. So now we’re on clips of the divorce. The blonde pushes them to admit how sad they are, and they basically dance around, with Amy getting stuck with most of the talking. It is acknowledged that Amy had to tell the kids alone. Blonde asks Matt how he feels about Amy being obviously saddened. He basically says its easier to be separated. What if Matt offered to come back, Amy? Amy is willing to try. Matt is all “she’ll yell at me” and makes a joke. Essentially he finds it easier to be separate. Blonde asks the obvious, was it the show? Matt categorically denies it, and Amy gets all judgy about other couples. Matt basically says he’s too awesome and wears people out. Blonde really seems emotionally invested in talking Matt and Amy into getting back together.
Now funny clips. Blonde is all “You dating??” and Amy is all “Matt’s dating” while Matt denies it. Blonde again harps on how alone Amy is. Amy regrets things, particularly how they didn’t work on their lives. Matt has NO regrets. Amy is clearly irritated by this answer. Blonde wonders if Matt wasn’t showing his wife enough love. Amy answers for him. This is mostly the Amy show. She hopes there’s grandkids and a successful business and that they don’t lose the farm.
Now we have the marrieds and more clips of the show. God, really I don’t care about Zach’s suit and Jeremy’s obsession over dressing Zach. Zach is interesting in how he acknowledges that he probably didn’t have it as bad as other little people… This is so dull. Also none of the marrieds are articulate at all. I must say Audrey, with the lipstick toned down, is much prettier. Also no one seems anxious to get knocked up.
Will the divorce angst ever end? Clips of divorce angst. Amy basically refuses to answer real questions about the divorce. Matt says nothing at all. Molly and Zach note that Mom and Dad were boiling for years. Auj has her hand back on Jer’s crotch as Jeremy waxes on how he and Auj implemented “something” to help their marriage. Auj says they ask each other questions which isn’t that bad of an idea but um… Jeremy notes how it defuses things that would have others been gigantic huge fights. Huh…
Now we have old clips… Oh look Matt pratting about how awesome he is. Jeremy sagely notes that the farm will heal his parents and Auj has her hand on Jer’s crotch again. Now Tory is doing it a bit to Zach. And then it ends. And I need bed because I have places to be!