Tuesday, May 24, 2016

New Little People, Big World Episode May 24th, 2016 on TLC

These are the reviews for the new episode featuring the Roloff family which aired on TLC on Tuesday May 24, 2016


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Review Written By Rap541


In case you care about the bonus scenes – apparently they really did do the seed spitting event. And Molly skyped with mom. I was too in thrall over Audrey’s slutty shorts (seriously, I think all the Duggar boys would be eyes down while the Duggar sisters screeched “NIKE!”  and pointed at Audrey’s on display thigh gap) to really care.

It’s Thanksgiving… or is it? I have a really huge sense that this episode is very staged. Also in advance, I am sure its difficult to deal with a divorce but considering how everyone is an adult, the dramatics are sad.

Two weeks before thanksgiving! Tory and Zach are decorating for the holiday. They put up autumn stuff. Zach wants dinner at both places and Tory is like “I want to see my family too” and Zach is like “ok,  sure althought MY MOM IS DIVORCING!” Tory suggests that Amy come to the Patton dinner.

In hipster bend, the hispters marrieds eat baked stuff and Audrey wants to do thanksgiving with her family. Jeremy suggests they invite BOTH Matt and Amy to Audrey’s parents… Audrey looks faintly horrified but is all “ok”.

I bet everyone ends up at the big house on the farm.

Zach drops the bomb about the holiday on Amy. Amy is all horrified since no family is coming is coming. Molly is skipping the holiday, and there’s no mention of Jacob. Again, even without the clips in the commercials, its obvious where this is going.

Zach heads to Matt’s place which is surprisingly not as neat as a pin. Matt is horrified that Zach isn’t coming to Thanksgiving on the farm. Matt seems to equate this with the divorce which is odd since this is really about the marriage. Matt is all “DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME BUT I AM HURT”. This also feels very staged.

Matt and the new dog sit in the office. Matt is of course bummed that he’s being left alone for the holiday because when he initiates a divorce and his kids marry, he’s the one who needs to have his needs tended. He arranges a dog date with Amy.  The dogs are cute. Matt is all “are you ok with this travesty of a holiday?” Amy attempts to be cool but is sad. Matt is appalled that the kids now have other families and Matt isn’t the center of the universe. Amy seems to cope better. Matt whines and then haybales to the audience how *Amy* is in denial over all the pain. Meanwhile he’s the one devastated by the lack of attention.

Amy hangs with Lisa in a homeless shelter and tries to make the best of it. Apparently none of the kids are coming home for the holiday. Lisa has asked Amy over. Amy is all “this is by myself”. Amy then butchers the names of cheeses.

Then homeless people get a nice meal. This is nice. There’s some cute stuff with Amy and little kids who are all amazed at her size. Amy empathizes with a homeless woman who is divorced.

It’s the day  before Thanksgiving and the two married couples are confabing over what mom and dad are doing. Audrey leads the charge with “Does anyone know where Matt and Amy are going??” which is kinda asshole if its actually real because if people invite you to a holiday, you’re supposed to rsvp. Basically – and we’re supposed to think the show has no influence on this – they all decide to have Thanksgiving on the farm…. Because Mom and Dad clearly have made no plans. They call Matt and Matt is all “THAT’S GREAT” and this feels totally fake. Amy is pleased and not appalled at all that she now has to make a large dinner on short notice because this isn’t fake at all.

Matt drives his dog over to the farm and complains about his ability to climb steps to Amy. 

Matt is pleased about dinner but wants to know the time of dinner. He mocks her over timing. Oh I sense an argument. The inlaws are coming. Oh yeah this feels staged. Matt hauls up the divorce. They both want it done.  This is all very bitter.

One day before thanksgiving.  Matt is ordering the kids around because now the inlaws are coming so the event is going to be a huge extravaganza of games. They’re setting up some game. In one of the barns.

The marrieds show up at the house and Jer and Auj are gonna cook from youtube videos. Because this isn’t staged at all! Jeremy notes how he was never expected to learn to cook. Auj thinks they put the head in the turkey. Its funny but sad. Auj mistakes the neck for the turkey weiner and then the head. They then stuff vegetables into the turkey. There’s no foil so we have a staged scene at 11:30am to get foil. Matt is a cheerful dick about it. I find it interesting that Amy is “thankful for all of you” over two of four kids showing up. But wait! There’s a surprise for Amy at the door! Because this isn’t staged!
It’s…. Molly!

Molly didn’t want to come down but the show needed an event so… Molly is immediately put to work. Tory and her parents show up at 5:40. Matt harps on how the new boyfriend didn’t come. He greets the Pattons and the Bottis.

Then 6:30. Matt is sitting at the table by himself because dinner was at 6:30 and now he’s waiting on his dinner as dinner at 6:30! Amy tells him to shove it up his ass and is pissed. Matt smugs to the camera how Amy is ALWAYS LATE and he needs to be a giant ASS in order to show the guests how AMY is late.

So here’s the thing. If Matt keeps playing games like this, when the show dries up, he’s going to be looking around wondering where the kids are. Because it’s going to be easier to go over to the Pattons and the Bottis rather than try to have a nice dinner with the direct family since Matt can’t let a holiday dinner go without making sure to be an ass to his ex.

Matt continues to sit at the table. Amy regrets the shove it up her ass remark. Matt then realizes he was a total dick and apologizes but doesn’t since he couldn’t help himself. And now we have pumpkin bowling. Molly is all “yeah, dad always does something like this” 
Basically they’re whipping pumpkins at glass bottles and breaking the bottles. Everyone plays because its kinda required since the cameras are there and Matt makes sure to wrap it all up with how he’s thankful despite Amy being a bitch.

This was super staged and I totally get why Amy agreed to the divorce.

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Review Written By Podge/Rodge groupie



Review of A New Kind of Thanksgiving

There will be an assignment at the end of the review.     


We’re in Portland. Zach and tori are decorating and discussing plans for the holiday. They discuss a balance of attention to the separate families. Tori says it would mean a lot to her if they went to the Pattons. This is not in the plans of the Executive Producers of the show, however.

 We’re in Bend. Another one of Special jer and Auj’s $30.00 coffee outings. Must be nice to afford this. Very nice camera work to frame the product placement. Well done. The same blather as Portland. The Roloff parents, yadda ydda yadda let the chips fall where they may. These were not pre-planned, were they?


We’re in Hillsboro. Zach walks right in, past the ‘Simplified’ chalkboard with a list of prepared dishes necessary for ‘something’. This is supposed to be two weeks before Thanksgiving. I’ll come back to this later. Zach breaks the news to Amy. Amy goes through the usual “oh me, oh my” stuff, then says, “Well it’s a part of letting go”. Ok Amy. SO. LET. GO. Sigh. Zach crosses the yard and breaks the news to Matt. Why is the trebuchet in the middle of the yard? Matt haybales about his self-centered possessiveness. I never thought you would have to share your kid. Now, you have to share your kids with the in-laws. They are not possessions, Matt! They are over the age of 21. And not living there anymore. And they’re glad. “I can go knock on people’s doors.” Diarrhea on the pity pot again, Matt. Don’t forget to wipe, because Amy’s not there anymore to tend to your every whim and give you the attention you so desperately crave.

Matt phones Amy for a dog play date. He obviously uses this as an excuse, but he did not phone a few days(?) later. D’uh. Anyway, he notes that Amy may not show her emotions as readily as he does. Really. Are you kidding me? You are the biggest pouting baby we’ve ever seen on TV when you don’t get your way. Give us a break. Matt in his selfish self centered possessiveness reiterates, “I just always thought the kids would come here”. Matt needs help.

Three days(?) before. Amy is helping a chef friend make a holiday dinner for those not as fortunate. Very nice of her. However, didn’t she write a cook book? Yes? She honestly has no clue how to pronounce Parmesan cheese? Are you kidding me? While we’re here, what’s Lisa doing in the kitchen? She scooped spuds that Amy peeled and sliced and other than that she did not do anything else that we could see. Unless she was there ‘for’ Amy, to provide conversation because the chef is actually busy. The moments with the kids are what this show was originally about. You can accept a person even when they’re little and still grown up. But not gay.

Two days (nights) (?) before Thanksgiving. We’re at the Rock Creek Tavern. Kudos to Rock Creek for getting so much mileage of the show fro product placements.  Auj leads the scripted portion by “Maybe we should re-visit this” helping things move smoothly. Zach phones Matt. You’d think that after all these years both parents would be better at acting. Because they’re not expected to stand at the sidelines just watching to learn. Special Jer phones Amy. What? “Are you kidding me?”

Let’s take a moment here and look at the ridiculous charade with a smidge of objectivity. TWO DAYS in the evening of two days before, the kids decide to change plans. Has anyone spared a seconds thought for Kim Patton and Cendi Botti???? It’s the evening of two days before. You can bet your bottom dollar that the in-law mothers have their own turkeys in the fridge if fresh, and in thaw mode if frozen, they been to the shops and have ALL the vegetables, ALL the cranberries and dried bread for stuffing, therefore ALL the preparations ready to go. What about them? What are they supposed to do with the bounty they have ready? Can any doubter not see the stupidity of the garbage? Oy.

Matt takes Lucy over for another play date. What? No phone call? And why is Amy sitting outside? Again? Doesn’t want Matt in the house? Doesn’t want the cameras to see the inside of the house? Only the Shadow knows. Matts pokes Amy about timing. Rightfully so I’ll grant, but hey Big MR, you don’t have you don’t have to be a perfect dink about it later. But, you can’t resist can you?

The day before. Matt thinks the people are going to just love his bowling game. Will the BS ever end?

The day of. The kids bring in the groceries right past the “Simplified” chalkboard that has exactly the same writing on it, a list of things for the big dinner, that was on there “2 weeks before” when Zach was there. Auj asks, “Is that the wiener?” She certainly has a fixation. And when I was growing up I was taught sex was for procreation only. And they are not planning on having children anytime soon. Amy mentions that she has pre-warmed the oven, Special Jer sure takes his sweet time putting the turkey in the oven without burning his fingers off. Horrible staging. Enabler Amy giggles that the kids didn’t’ learn how to cook by watching her at big holidays and Sundays and the like. WHAT? Are you kidding me? You wouldn’t let them near the kitchen! You actually expected them to stand just outside the kitchen or as close as you would allow them and just watch you cook? You would make them sandwiches and whatever they wanted whenever they wanted it. Also, what is Felix the dog doing in the kitchen in Amy’s arms during the big cook-up? Eeewwww. That is by far the strangest stuffing I have ever seen in my life. Ever. Totally bizarre.           

Zach walks to Matt’s house to get foil, while the turkey is already ‘in’ the oven. Matt please clean up your wine bottles on the counter before filming they were all still there when Zach came over two weeks(?) ago. Or maybe those are new bottles. They had lots of bottles for bowling. 

Meanwhile, the turkey……. Special Jer is all “About time!” when Zach arrives back at the house. Yeah, right Jer. The doorbell rings. It’s Molly. Whadda ya know about dat? It’s funny, when Matt and Molly talk, all the while the magnificently cooked turkey is sitting on the oven rack, with the door open. All the while. For awhile. When Mother cooked a big dinner the kitchen was pretty toasty. All the burners on the cooker were going, and the place would get roasted out if she left the oven door open that long. Horrible staging.

Amy and Matt have their little set-to, because Amy’s a bitch and Matt just has to have the camera on him, and can’t resist being a jerk. Did anyone notice there was NO GRACE/BLESSING/PRAYER offered before the big meal? And, uh, Special Jer? I’m positive Amy has a utensil called a carving fork, with two long prongs you can use instead of using your fingers on the turkey? Eeeeewwww. And what happened to the turkey after Jer carved it?

The rest is not worth mentioning.

OK, your assignment children, is to watch the re-run with 30 seconds of B Roll added, and tell us on the blog how many times the word DIVORCE was used. Because after all folks, this is not about family, not about the holiday, it is all about Matt and Amy.

25 comments:

Ashley said...

So much for Audrey's and Tori's family's having Thanksgiving on their own. I wonder if they realized that their holidays would be filming for LPBW episodes.

Rita said...

Sorry as a vegetarian I have to say that was frigging disgusting to watch Jeremy rip open the turkey and debate about if the head was tucked in or the neck. I'm practically running to the toilet as I type this. I have a weak stomach! lol!

I gotta say because I just had a fight with her on twitter, Isabel is so friggin fake! You can go through her twitter (unless she deleted it which she probably did) and see all of her past tweets about being so sickened about people eating dead animals.

But when I mention the disgusting scene with the Roloffs, she's all 'oh there's nothing wrong with it! It's not sick!'

God! Either think it's fine or think it's gross. But don't friggin change what you say depending upon who you're taking about.

Isabel is definitely a jerk. I don't dislike her because of whatever religion she is or isn't, I dislike her because she is a jerk who doesn't stand behind an opinion and changes what she says depending on who she thinks is listening. Very fake person.

Anonymous said...

https://www.instagram.com/p/-mVdTmTCp7/?hl=en

Um nice little Thanksgiving filmed for the camera. But Amy posted on instagram, how Jeremy and Zach spent Thanksgiving with their in laws, and how she cooked Thanksgiving for Jacob and Molly. Link above. This show is fake!!!!

Chin said...

Uhhhhh has anyone emailed TMZ yet to tell them Audrey is associated and will continue to work with someone who has Josh Duggar in their council?

Aka that is a HATE group. Hate. H a t e !!!! It should be known and reported to see if her "fans" still want anything to do with her.

judith gormely said...

Amy seems to have a potty mouth by saying shove it ... Not a good remark on a family show! Nasty!

djsi said...

Amy and matt don't think of their own mother and father on thanksgiving?

Podge/Rodge groupie said...

https://www.instagram.com/p/-mVdTmTCp7/?taken-by=amyjroloff. It's not the first time, Anon, they've played with timing a little(??) bit.

Review will follow.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how almost every TV reality family has had problems staying together after their fame.
Somehow, you'd think the Roloffs would be the one family that would stay together.
Hopefully - their children's marriages will last.
@Rita. Who is Isabel that you speak of?
@Anon. Thanks for the heads up on the Thanksgiving fib!
When the whole thing went down I looked at my wife and said, "I guarantee that they had dinner with their parents."
The show was still mildly entertaining but it's losing it's luster.
Ame telling Mat to "shove it up his a**" shows that they are losing their religion as well.
I wish them the best of luck because when they start splitting the goods - it's going to be UGLY.

Rap541 said...

So much for Audrey's and Tori's family's having Thanksgiving on their own. I wonder if they realized that their holidays would be filming for LPBW episodes.

Well, here's the thing. By Amy's own instagram, this entire episode is a lie. Jeremy and Audrey spent Thanksgiving with the Bottis, Zach and Tory went to the Pattons, and Amy, Molly, Jacob, Isabel, and one of Amy's friends had thanksgiving at the house. (I was suspicious to begin with, and more suspicious when just the inlaws showed up - the Bottis abandoned their other children who seem to be younger than Audrey for the holiday?)

So the inlaws pretty much won, with Amy and Matt getting a faux thanksgiving that I suspect the inlaws won't participate in again.

Point - Isobel, the one desperate to be on tv, wasn't in this episode despite clearly being available per Amy's instagram. Likewise Jacob could have appeared and didn't. Since this family event was as fake as a three dollar bill, its actually a point in his favor that he didn't appear.

I do expect to see him at Molly's graduation simply because it's not an event that can be restaged for the cameras after the fact so that Amy, Matt, Jer and Auj can get a paycheck.

Ecossais said...

TLC is getting cheap with all the reruns. Even if they pay residuals it is cheaper than paying a film crew, travel, hotels, etc.
We get to see this charade again next Tuesday along with a couple more previous episodes just in case we missed something.

Alex said...

It's weird to me that all the Roloffs are allowed to use social media to talk about the show, since their posts prove the episodes are staged. I clearly remember a Thanksgiving Snapchat from Audrey where she referenced the two Thanksgivings, one of them being "fake Thanksgiving" at the farm. And Amy's Instagram posts too.

Maria said...

Rita, what happened with Isabel?

Rap541 said...

Yes yes, Rita - do tell. After all Isobel was on the show and her twitter argument was featured and isn't you know, a bunch of teenagers bitching at each other on twitter... because you know, high school never ends.

Rita said...

Maria and Rap, about a month ago Isabel tweeted me asking me to follow her so I could "get to know (her)" so I did.

I am a vegetarian, like Isabel. She has posted stuff in the past about being disgusted at people eating animal flesh.

Anyway, when I was watching the episode last night and the part about Jeremy ripping open the turkey and debating about whether it was the head, neck or private parts...it literally made me sick. I'm sorry, I have a weak stomach when it comes to that which is why I'm a vegetarian.

I @ Isabel, saying that I feel sorry for Isabel if she needs to do family dinner for the Roloffs and hear that kind of talk because for me, that kind of talk about ripping open dead birds grossed me out..especially at meal time! I was in no way insulting Isabel. Just noting that personally as a vegetarian, I couldn't handle that as dinner table discussion and I felt for Isabel because I thought she was the same way considering her past tweets about being disgusted by eating animals.

Instead she was a complete bitch to me, arguing and insulting from the get go and using the usual insults about "thinking you know someone from watching them on tv".

I think Isabel is just sucking up to the Roloffs because like I said, in the past she made random posts about being grossed out by that kind of thing. But because I mentioned it with the Roloffs, she was trying to be one of the Roloffs and insult me.

I really don't respect her as a person. I didn't even start out being mean, I thought I was agreeing with her in that she would be grossed out by the Jeremy/Audrey/Amy comments about the turkey.

I know it's not nice, but I do agree with the comments other people have made about her mother probably wouldn't be proud of her carrying herself that way. Btw, her aunt said the thing basically a while ago when Isabel was insulting everybody too, just in a nicer way because she's family. Something like "Come on honey, you can make your mom more proud of you than when you act like this".

I admit it's not the nicest thing to say, but she's just so arrogant and is determined to insult and feel superior.

PJ said...

What I find sad is that a 25 year old woman who's been married a year doesn't have a clue what gibkets are. And that her mind is in the gutter

Ecossais said...

PJ - TLC must be getting desperate to fill air time.
The whole episode was a joke. Totally fake with terrible acting.
Audrey and Jeremy don't have a brain between them, Matt sitting pouting at the table and Amy's "shove it...." comment topped off with a hay bale/pumpkin bowling alley.

Noh8 said...

@Rita- maybe Isabel just isn't quite as dramatic or dogmatic ad you on the vegetarian scale? For that matter, have you ever seen a field after its been plowed to plant and or harvest those grains and veggies you're eating? The field is littered with mutilated and dead ground animals. Bunnies, squirrels, moles, mice...do you think they get notice to vacate before their burrow is bifurcated with a plow or tiller? The only th vegetarian who is actually committed to animal rights is a scavenge vegetarian.

I just find it laughable that you're calling her out for not being outraged or disgusted by a turkey neck?

Rap541 said...

Rita - since the sarcasm whooshed over your head, let me help you.

I really don't give two shits whether you like Isobel or not. If you don't like her and your only interaction with her is online... then you control how much interaction and abuse you take from her. That's why I am not crying my eyes out over how you attempted to befriend her and decided she's a bit of a bitch. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, this happens to people all the time. You meet someone, you realize you don't like their humor or attitude... and normal people just part ways.

Not you. You've decided you hate Isobel and so should everyone else so you've HIJACKED the episode thread again.

Rita - was Isabel in the episode? The answer is no.
Rita - Was Isabel even mentioned in the episode? Again, no.
Rita - does your conversation with Isabel have anything to do with the episode or the recap? Vaguely the episode since you were somehow appalled over the giblets but you're really reaching.

So basically you derailed the entire discussion of the episode over someone who wasn't on the show and who has yet to be formally mentioned on the show and over an incident that is you basically picking a fight and choosing to be offended.

Would anyone like to see the IM war I had with my sort of friend James over how assholish he thinks vegatarism is? Because its AS RELEVANT

. said...

DID ANYONE SEE THAT AUDREY ROLLED HER EYES? Yes, she did!!! Zack and Jeremy Audrey and Tori were at the restaurant eating and discussing having Thanksgiving at the farm...when they all agreed to have it at the farm Audrey took a bite of food and totally rolled her eye's!!! Not only that but why does Audrey call Amy by her name and not MOM? Like Tori does....

Rita said...

"I just find it laughable that you're calling her out for not being outraged or disgusted by a turkey neck?"

I wasn't "calling her out". We are both vegetarians. I didn't think it was offensive to acknowledge another vegetarian. I find the talk of animal parts while ripping them apart to be gross. Isabel has posted similar stuff in the past talking about random and unnamed people.

All I said originally was that I felt bad for Isabel if she needs to sit through those holiday family dinners with that type thing/conversations happening. Considering that the scene was on the show and Isabel has and probably will (especially with her sucking up!) be part of the dinners, I don't think it's out of bounds.

If she's changed her mind from her past tweets, and doesn't find it gross, she could have politely said "It doesn't really bother me"...you know, you can disagree with somebody without being a total bitch about it like Isabel was.

Rap, I know of Isabel from her connection to Jacob who I'm familiar with originally because of LPBW. I was watching the episode and commenting on the turkey ripping scene. And when I saw that, I thought of Isabel because I know she's a vegetarian like I am.

Rap541 said...

Podge, great recsp!

I ignored or missed some of the staging, but yes it doesn't take a discerning viewer to figure out the meal is a set up. (not helped by Amy's Instagram)

Matt's bitching about how the kids should be spending the holidays with him, complete with the guilt trip was nice. Made all the more telling that he didn't even ask where Jacob would be.

And you're right about Audrey being a bit off putting about sex. I'll excuse the wiener remark because I think she thought she was being cute for the camera... but looking over her marital advice, it's very clear she likes sex. Sex is a form of worship, something she does on the Sabbath. Sex is something she must always give her husband, its very important to never argue about sex or balk at sex, and if the mood hits for a quickie while driving, always sex it up. Isn't the whole point of Christian marriage to breed more Christians? More quivers in the bow?

Kathy said...

Our word was "excited". They must have used that word a hundred times during several episodes.

Ecossais said...


Excellent review Podge/Rodge.
Just a comment on your remark about the turkey.
If Jer was holding the turkey with one hand while carving it one has to wonder how long it had been out of the oven and were they dining on cold turkey?
This episode was so stupid, and we get to see it again this week, I am wondering what this week's Christmas Wonderland crap is going to be. More fake scenes/situations and total lack of any acting ability probably?

Rap - if they are "banging" on a Sunday for Jesus and still no baby on the way then they must be using "coitus interruptus" or other preventive measures. I thought that preventing god from delivering his precious gift was contrary to Christian teachings?

Rap541 said...

Eccosais, no, see, they pick and choose what parts of the Bible they take literally.

Take the Sabbath issue. Forget the Sunday stuff. God wants us to rest every seven days. Auj and Jer don't actually adhere to that. They simply pick whatever day is free and declare it the Sabbath.

They also don't actually interpret rest literally. Nope, rockclimbing, hiking, fucking, that's all "worshipping" - which I wouldn't mind if they were a couple of hippies but they're professing to believe in Christianity.

As for having a child, well, these two have married for close to two years now. I actually find myself wondering if they even want kids (and I don't consider that a bad thing btw) simply because they are clearly fucking like wild mink in heat - Audrey just can't stop letting us know how important it is to her battlefield of a marriage that she get rammed with Roloff cock on a frequent basis. (Anyone who takes offense, please understand Audrey has written many blog articles now on the topic of how she has sex and how sex is very very important to her marriage and to all marriages).

But I am sure some Christian here can and will justify how Audrey not being knocked up is Christlike.

Ecossais said...

Am I just becoming hypercritical because the show is getting really boring?
It seems to me that a scene with two or more people keeps jumping to a 'hay bale' style monolog more frequently.
What makes it even worse is that there is no continuity. The person delivering the scripted monolog is not dressed as he/she was ten seconds ago which proves it was not even filmed at the same time or even same day.