Review Written By Rap541
On a rewatch, I really have to say, Audrey is so much prettier when she tones down the lipstick. I get that she wants to insist on having a signature look but it is doing her no favors. I also think Matt is attempting to do some damage control with his public apologies to Amy. I also still really find it hilarious that Matt has issues with not having enough space in the double wide. I think Matt misses that “I live in a million dollar house!” snob point – we all remember how Matt likes to brag that he makes more money and has nicer things… And now he’s “Matt Roloff living in a trailer”.
There’s some bonus footage of Amy doing a fundraiser for an unnamed private Christian school…. Heh. And oh, fyi, Amy was brutally teased over her height. Otherwise, oh look Zach going on about how he loves soccer. Oh and we can’t take Matt anywhere without Matt screeching to the camera “LET THE GAMES BEGIN!” – Because Matt is so into soccer, right? And for the record, I know it was for the show, but they need to figure out how to shoehorn Jeremy in when the story is about dwarf athletics because it really seemed weird to have Jeremy coaching and then playing with a bunch of 15-16 year old kids…
All the previews are of the family arguing about the farm in Hawaii. Because that’s reasonable.
So Matt is on the haybale insisting that they aren’t going to be like other divorced couples, they are still going to do things as a FAMILY. Important to note, the “whole family” now consists of the twins and their wives. Matt calls Amy to his office to discuss his great idea – taking the family to Hawaii. Amy thinks it’s crazy. Then she’s all “If the kids are going then maybe”. We’re then treated to prior footage of other vacations. Matt notes that once the marrieds crap out some grandbabies, they aren’t gonna get to go to Hawaii at the drop of a hat. I also note that this is the trip that Auj and Jer refer to as a “working vacation” where they were working on their website.
Amy tells Zach and Tory about the trip. Matt tells Jeremy and Auj. Everyone seems to think this might be awkward but… Free trip to Hawaii, how bad can it be? Jeremy condescends how his parents probably can’t be mature, and Zach concurs. Now more prior footage of trips. Jer considers it a trial run for how they do vacations going forward. Jer, lil tip, you can’t go to Hawaii at the drop of a hat if you ever have a kid. You’re also getting a little old for mom and dad to be treating you to a vacation.
Hawaii seems nice. Matt tries to pretend he doesn’t go to Hawaii constantly. Matt demands the family – which apparently only consists of Jeremy, Zach, Tory and Auj, do certain activities with him. There’s parasailing, dolphin swimming, whale watching, a luau. Advertising partners are giving treats.
Amy loves the luau and the dancing. Of course the audience is asked who is in love and Amy is sad that she’s not in love etc because we can’t go three minutes without the divorce. That said, Amy does seem pretty open and honest about it. Matt pats himself on the back for suggesting Hawaii. Zach is pulled to the stage to shake his butt and didn’t catch that Tory was there – I sense production involvement but it was cute. Jer and Auj are just happy it wasn’t them!
I get why Jacob is He Who Must Not be Named, but since when do they not mention Molly needing to miss the vacation? That’s interesting. Well, really it’s just sad. Especially when they repeatedly refer to how awesome it is to have the WHOLE FAMILY there. (Note – since some of you like to bitch, remember, I am finding it odd that MOLLY is now no longer part of the whole family).
It’s Day 2 of Hawaii Hell. Matt and Amy lounge by the pool. Amy hay bales that she doesn’t hate Matt and wants to have fun with the kids. She’s glad they are ALL able to be there…. Interesting. Zach and Tory are off to paddle board aka smooching and watching turtles. Jer wears a grandma hat and Auj lets us know that Matt and Amy are together but sitting three chairs apart. Now we’re off to the twilight whale watching! Audrey was clearly enjoying herself – we don’t normally get to hear her speak and not be “on” for the camera. They are impressed with the whalesong and everyone seems to have a great time. I’ve done whalewatching myself – I highly recommend it. Amy is all “Tory and Audrey are like my own daughters”. Matt makes everyone swear to vacation in Hawaii even if they have children. Matt goes on about how awesome it is and then “RAWR!”’s for the camera.
Now we’re parasailing. Matt notes how he’s a man and will do it. Oh of course we need it pointed out that a) Matt is concerned about the harness because he’s a dwarf and b) He knows it’s a bad idea because of his health issues but he just has to! Everyone seems to have fun. Oddly we don’t see Jer and Auj parasail. Or did we? I missed it if we did.
Now we’re at dinner, and Matt relates how he bought the farm. Tory pointedly asks Jer and Auj if they plan to move back to the farm. Auj is very clear that she and Jer have shown the most interest. Matt expresses a real concern that people will fight over the farm and I kinda think that it is totally true especially as Jeremy and Auj pee on the entire place to claim it. Matt rightly points out that selling the farm, cashing out and splitting the money evenly is the only fair way to handle it.
Matt hay bales how he doesn’t want to saddle them with the pressure. I think Matt just doesn’t trust either twin to run the place. Jeremy sagely notes how he wants the farm and wants it available for him to live at. Jeremy wants a contract with how he’ll never fight with Zach over it, until Jeremy and Audrey return to the farm. Because that sort of contract is you know, ridiculous and unenforceable. Matt disagrees with this idiot plan and Jeremy really strongly notes how Tory and Zach have NOT expressed an interest in living there and how he and Audrey want it bad. Tory notes that she and Zach want to visit the farm. Jeremy thinks this is all about Matt’s fear that he will lose control of the farm.
Personally I think the bigger issue here is that we’re not seeing two of the Roloff kids even considered, let alone involved in the conversation. That and the weird thing Matt and Amy do agree on? Is that they are concerned that that farm can’t be fairly split unless it’s sold. I do wish sometimes that a friend or random stranger would interject in these sorts of discussions and point out the really obvious reality that its neither unusual or cruel for parents to not leave their homes to their kids. Case in point – Matt’s parents and Amy’s parents have not done so. And no one seems to think that’s unusual or cruel of Matt and Amy’s families.
Now we’re swimming with dolphins again because torturing captive animals is fun. Sorry, I think it’s wrong, I understand the urge to do it, but it is keeping animals that were meant to swim the whole ocean in tiny cage pools. I don’t think people mean to be cruel when they do this but…
Jeremy is determined to get everyone to agree that he and Auj get the farm. Honestly it’s a little excessive on his part. Tory suggests patience. Jeremy thinks people are wondering what the Roloffs will do in the second and third generations. No, Jeremy, no one really cares all that much because you’re not that pretty and you’re not that special. As it is, I am fairly convinced Jeremy’s business savvy (and lack thereof) will pretty much doom the place.
Amy interjects a whole little bit on how shook up she is over the divorce again. Because we haven’t heard this before, a thousand times.
Now we’re at the last dinner and Jeremy is in his grandma hat again. I suspect all this hat wearing is Jeremy’s passive aggressive dislike of his hair that Auj loves so. Seriously, his hat wearing, especially when indoors is getting odd. And we then go on and on about the farm. Matt makes the comment that he really doesn’t think Jeremy knows how to run the farm. This doesn’t surprise me at all, because I have always given Matt credit for having some business sense, and I suspect Matt knows that Jeremy’s plans for the farm go something like this.
1. Steal underpants!
Matt then kills the mood by asking Amy in front of the kids at dinner if she’s done an email to the lawyers since he wants this done lickety split! Because we need a reminder of the divorce that hasn’t been mentioned in three minutes.
Next week, Amy is getting a tat! Well, the only way I’d be more shocked is if Jeremy said he was getting a job! And we know that’s not happening! Actually, one thing I find amusing about this whole endless wringing of hands over what will happen with the farm is why no one ever questions why Jer and Auj… aren’t already *ready* to live on the farm. They’re maintaining a household that’s three hours away from the farm for what reason? The farm is in Hillsboro not Bend. Their wedding blog can be run from anywhere and the photography business would actually be better if they were closer to a larger city. And Jeremy could actually learn how to run the farm. Ever notice though, how Jeremy has no interest in that?
Now we’re doing a helicopter ride because why not? Auj has heard horror stories about helicopters. Matt harps how he’s sharing the experience with the WHOLE family. Hawaii is lovely btw. Tory and Zach note that it was nice that Matt and Amy didn’t flip out at each other. Now they’re having a bon voyage drink… it’s actually rather obvious that the kids left at a different time. Matt and Amy drink to each other and pat each other on the back for remaining cordial in public.
Next week Matt is whining again over how he’s too damn good to have to live in that horrible doublewide.
Review Written By Podge/Rodge groupie
Review Written By Podge/Rodge groupie
REVIEW OF BIG ISLAND OR BUST! June 28
OK, in the 'extra scenes' in the previous episode, I was surprised when they did not include the scene where Amy spoke at a dinner about accepting EVERYBODY despite their differences (with Amy's well documented slecetive exclusionism) in the A Roll as isn't this not what the show is about? Hmmmm?
Also, Amy is shown going on and on about how it feels to know that someone does not want you in their life. Uh, Amy, when have you waxed as eloquent as we can hope for with you, about wanting Matt in your life? Not one word Amy. Not one. Yet you insist on the self-pity. Oh well.
Matt calls Amy in a set-up phone call about coming to his office for an intricate plan. Right. He says we HAVE to go on this trip, it can't be passed up! Why can't it Matt? As some people have suggested, you could always take the money tLC put into the trip and give it to charity. Right. The twins, the wives, anyone who wants to go. Going between photos taken on means Tori had to take time off and although they never asked I'm assuming Molly was still in her senior year at Whitworth. The twins could have looked a tiny bit more enthusiastic. Oh well. After Matt cals a full scale family meeting, Special Jer haybales how he is still hopeful that, even after many years, his parents will get back together. Right. Matt suggests a luau that night. The first words out of Auj's mouth? “Mai tais? I'm into it.” Alcohol is a drug. And it gets abused. During an Amy haybale, she does mention rhetorically, “How I may have messed up” in regard to the marriage. MAY have. Nothing definite. No responsibility taken. Right. But this vacation was a good thing to do.
Zach and Tori go paddle boarding. I doubt that the shots of the turtle were Zach's go-pro. But they had a blast, and Tori mentions how this trip is amazing. Good for them both. That's great. The whole(?) family goes whale watching. No, Matt, they are not crying. Audrey, maybe a little more attention in high school about simple Physics rather than Cosmetology would make how the whales can hear whalesong over miles and miles. Oh well. I'm still surprised at Matt's self-centeredness and failure to consider anybody else's problem when he tell the twins (not the whole family) that we should make a pact and do this every year, babies or no babies. For goodness sake Matt have you any idea what that involves? You didn't start getting freebies from TLC until Jacob was at least 11 or 12. No thought whatsoever. Right. A little help please, what's with Tori's tee shirt about Roloff July 25, 2015. Was that the mud race? Amy opines that having the daughters-in-law along is special. Darn straight is it. Good stuff. They go para-sailing. Matt gets all melodramatic about this, but then does his, “I'm Awesome” schtick for going through with it. Right. I was a little bit uncomfortable with Special Jer's description of Tori between Amy and Zach, sort of 'look you see Tori's long legs, and you don't see the other legs. It was just a bit, well, odd to me.
Alrighty then, the dinner and a meeting. Here we go, folks. Matt tells a story about how he was 'stuck' with the software co. he was with, so he convinces Amy of move to Oregon, so he can build up a farm and then sell. it. Amy shoots back, “We HAD a downpayment for a house, I was fine with it, but Matt wanted more.” The crap between these two started that long ago. Oh well. Auj haybales that, “We are not ready to move to the farm right now (WHY?) but that's the plan. But we are the ones that expressed the most interest. (HOW?) Matt makes the statement that the kids (ALL of them?) will be fighting over the farm, and it will make him roll over in his grave. Zach haybales that Special Jer has the drive (proof?) the creativity (where?) and the vision (what?) to run the farm, and I'm OK with it. Way to step up, Zach! Oh well. Tori says they just want to bring Sully there to run around. That doesn't seem to be a good enough reason to let a million dollar farm go down the tube, Tori. Matt mentions selling. Amy barks that the complexity of the problem is no reason to 'just dump everything'. Then Matt makes the wisest observation of the whole situation, “It's easier to divide money that it is to divide land.” Then Special Jer just has to pipe up with this, “There are some serious emotions going on about the farm. Are you going to divorce yourself from the farm or are you going to FIX it?” And this is not the worse from this spoiled brat man-child, believe me. Matt, secretly I think, knows what will happen in the future for his life's work, and says, 'Maybe I should just do everybody a favour.” Here it comes. The man-child has the audacity to suggest that, “OK, suppose we make an agreemet, that 'this is what we will do' and 'this is what they will do' and Zach will agree not to fight about 'this' and I agree not to fight about 'that' and we sign it, then the personal dilemma is on YOUR side.” I can't believe this!!!! Who the Hell do you think you are? You do not dictate to your father whether his decision, which doesn't involve you in the first place becomes a 'dilemma' because that what you want to happen? What right could you possibly believe you have to make that kind of imposition on your own father? WHAT ABOUT MOLLY? WHAT ABOUT JACOB? And no, this is most definitely not how family farms work. Amy mentions delegating authority. What about someone stepping up to do the WORK? She goes on they tell Matt he has to let go of the control and start to trust so the boys can run the farm in a way that makes it successful and is good the them. Them? Who's them? She had no idea what she was saying, until she ended her contribution by saying, “Everyone will have a part of the farm, whether we keep it or sell it or what.”
They go dolphin meeting. Matt is so glad he can share this with the ENTIRE family. Right. The twins talk. Jeremy say his dad has some things to think about. Knowing what we do now, Amy has just as much say as Matt does. Tori hopes for patience. Special Jer says a lot of people are interested (?) in seeing what will happen to the farm through multiple generations. You're not quite that Special, Jer. Zach is the most reasonable in saying they don't have the answers.
Amy gets some alone time. I like how she says she learned a lot about herself, but didn't say a word about learning what she did to contribute to the downfall of the marriage.
The family meets, and Amy tells Jer how it would be great if you came and helped out and ran the farm (don't be silly Amy) and Zach worked for you. Yeah, that would be great alright. Matt's last haybale was interesting. He has a lot to figure out. The farm takes day to day commitment, to learn how to be competent and handle the affairs. Jeremy is not ready for the day to day commitment. No shit, Sherlock. Oh well. Matt asks Amy about sending an email to her lawyer. He just can't separate business from vacation. He sure can when he goes off to the BVI by himself or the Golden Couple. Sorry Matt, we weren't paying attention to you for 5 seconds. What's with Special Jer's, “Everything is a little broken on the island.” Right. They go on a helicopter ride. I'm glad they liked the take-off, because ALL take-offs are optional, people. People were impressed that Matt and Amy did their best to put on a good vacation and and get along so well. This was in Feb. and as we all know, the final divorce was signed in April. The farm is not solely Matt's to give away anymore. I'd like to see the email agreements for handling and selling the shared assets. That would be a good read.