Review Written by Rap541
So normally I watch the rerun of the previous episode but I have a new cable set up and can now pretty much watch new episodes of Criminal Minds on the hour since a friend recently turned me on to that show.
And do you really need the reminder that for the umpteenth time, Matt was an ass to Amy, Amy got pissed, and Jeremy and Auj took a few minutes off from their constant sex to say yet again that they want to be handed the farm. I actually discussed this on a different board, how strange it was that it was Jeremy, the able bodied, theoretically primed for success child who seemed bound and determined to be handed a living by his daddy while his much less abled brother who may have significant health issues as life goes on (did you know Jen from Season one ended up in a wheel chair?) and may not be able to work is never even asking to be daddy’s heir.
Oh look, this gonna be Matt bonding with the twins while Amy goes out to salsa classes. Yay.
Matt skypes with Jeremy and goes on about how he misses Jeremy and misses bonding with Jeremy. Matt sounds drunk as he asks Jeremy to bond with him over projects. Jeremy says no, he actually has stuff to do.
An aside, I am not over fond of skyping. It just seems silly. And here’s something interesting. Aside from the novelty factor, most people don’t like face to face over the phone customer servicing.
Amy is worried that she is retreating. She has her friend Lisa over to talk about how so lonely she is and also how she doesn’t want to see Matt dating. We hear yet again how Amy never expected to marry, which I both understand and kinda feel bad for her on several levels. Because a) she’s obviously been raised to believe that her role as a woman is to be married and a mother and nothing else, and she’s starting to see how she got the shit end of the stick on that. And b) she isn’t an ugly woman at all and clearly has never been encouraged to see herself as pretty and Matt probably hasn’t helped with the years of on camera “My wife sucks” stuff.
Matt is eating food with Bill a fellow divorcee. Matt is now more reflective as he doesn’t see the kids as much. I think the soundtrack flips to “Cat’s in the Cradle” as Matt is all “Oh gosh I should have spent more time with the kids”. I kinda wish the show had done a montage of Matt smiling and merrily noting how he had NO REGRETS over hitting the twins graduation late or how he had NO REGRETS over ditching Zach, Molly and Jacob in Ireland because he wanted to have fun with Jer, or how he had NO REGRETS over ditching the entire family on Mother’s day and the twins birthday because he just needed to go to Maui and have me time, or how he has NO REGRETS over merrily leaving HOW MANY family vacations because the farm, which he apparently now feels is an anchor, was far more important?
Zach and Tori are weirdly shocked to have Matt turn up at their house with camera crews and this seems really forced and fake. Matt pleads with Zach to spend time with him, and Zach is all “I am busy” and Matt notes how maybe Jeremy should be involved and this rapidly turns into a “lets go camping”. Matt waxes fondly on how he and the twins went camping in the olden days. Seriously though, this felt pretty fake.
Amy wanders into Matt’s office to tell him she wants to paint the kitchen cabinets. This is relatively cordial. She wants white, and Matt likes wood grain but he’s nothing but conciliatory. He lets her know how sad he is about how the twins have drawn away from him. He plans to take the twins and go camping. Amy loves the idea and plans to hang with the wives.
! Lisa is back and designing the kitchen. Amy wants antique white. I dunno, I rather like the rustic look. I also think the money could be better spent than replacing a perfectly nice kitchen but the Roloffs have trade outs to grab….
I am fairly amused though that Amy just… hires a contractor and apparently has the remodel half done already. Aren’t these the same people who had the house torn up for six months remodeling? Funny how there’s much less drama when Matt isn’t running the show.
Jeremy is all “I’m a man and I drop my busy plans of nothing to camp because GRR MAN!” Audrey notes how Amy is a mess and needs a friend and Audrey is ready to give Amy marital advice. Matt is excited for the trip. They are taking atvs and essentially all the camping gear ever. There’s some sort of massive grill on the truck. There’s a canoe. There’s fishing. Jeremy and Zach fish with much griping from Jer. It’s all whining. Matt’s all “did we even pack food? Hee hee hee! Tory sent Zach a goody basket.
Pretty lengthy commercial breaks. Seriously we’re about three minutes on this.
Now we have the Roloff men at the campfire. Oh sweet, Auj’s special gift to Jer is booze. Matt notes how his wife packed no treat. Well, you did leave her, Matt.
Amy and the daughter in-laws chat over the newly renovated kitchen. Seriously it took next to no time. Amy is taking them to a wine bar and salsa dancing.
Back at the camp, Jeremy notes how Zach is away from the wife for the first time. It’s sweet but also condescending. I’m just saying, did Jeremy ever get a “explain how you feel about NOT BEING NEAR YOUR WIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON CAMERA, JEREMY!” moment? Matt really seems drunk here as he talks about how he screwed up and made mistakes. Of course he notes how he was very driven and was working constantly. Jeremy notes that Matt’s projects became his wife. Jeremy really needs to be married longer than under two years to be giving his dad advice. Matt notes he has NO REGRETS as Jeremy notes Matt could make it work. Jeremy hay bales that there’s still hope. Matt slurs a bit and Jeremy continues to harp on how *his* kids will see Matt and Amy’s divorce and learn divorce is ok and really Jeremy, it’s not about you or your imaginary children. Jeremy notes how he will have a problem when Mom and Dad start dating and again Jer, you’re 26 and this isn’t about you. Considering how much you apparently like sex, you really don’t get to tell your parents that they can never do it again because the idea of it upsets you. He seriously is reacting like a ten year old.
Amy admits to the in-laws that her advice to their husbands was to not act like Matt. Amy mentioned how she went to counseling and Audrey wonders if she would go to counseling again and really no, no, no. Auj, you don’t get to tell your mother in law to seek counseling to stay married. Amy is pretty mature about it, I think.
Back at the camp, Matt slurs more about how awesome the boys are and how imbalanced he is. He asks if they feel he didn’t pay attention to them. They both note how Matt never went to their games. Zach hay bales that they were way easy on dad over that. Jeremy is all “You BUILT SOMETHING DAD! AND I WANT TO CARRY IT ON FOR YOU GIVE ME THE FARM!”
Back in Portland, Amy, Auj, and Tory score some black tar heroin (joking people!)and go salsa dancing. It’s fun to watch. Then we have some sort of grade school pick a partner and Amy is horrified! And shamed by all the memories of NOT BEING PICKED. And commercial!
And the commercial is of course about selling the farm.
Back to the horrors of partner choosing. And of course some nice, rather short latino fellow chooses her. Essentially Amy had a ball at the dancing and Tory is pleased and Auj seems pleased too.
Despite all the talk of no food, the menfolk are grilling tons of crap on their giant grill. Matt notes how he sent the kids out as children to be eaten by coyotes. Matt then tells them both that he’s considering selling the farm and he might need the money for assisted living and Jeremy is SCARED because he wants the farm.
Matt apparently wants to live at the same assisted living place my grandma lived at. Jeremy is APPALLED that he might not be handed the farm. Jeremy goes on and on about how he was always led to believe that the farm would always be there and now it might not and Jeremy is worried because he WANTS THE FARM and now that might not happen and OMG HE MIGHT NOT BE HANDED WHAT HE WANTS.
Jeremy hun? Grow up. You’re an adult. Your daddy and your mommy do not owe you anything. You want a fun cool farm? You’re able bodied and have money from a reality show. Go out and get it. The more you sit around whining on camera how your daddy and mommy need to think about you first in their divorce, the more you look like a helpless douche.
Oh look – next week is Auj and Jer’s advertisement for their website where per Christians here, gays are not welcome! And of course we get to see the dissolution of Matt and Amy’s vows to God to be wed.
Review Written By Podge/Rodge groupie