Monday, January 16, 2017

Little People Big World Episode Review January 10th

Here are reviews of the Little People Big World episode on TLC that aired Tuesday Jan 10th.

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Written by Rap541

New finale that is so about the pending baby! The first bonus scene reveals that Jeremy had returned to the farm for this episode to celebrate Amy’s birthday and to judge her for dating, but more importantly, to celebrate their MARRIAGE. I especially adore how Jeremy expects his mom to make breakfast for him. And to you know, provide him a free place to stay when he so openly judges her.

Not sure if it’s a bonus scene but Matt basically describes his potential new house as part of the farm and as something that Amy would be required to chip in for as it is a farm expense. And there lies the problem, since there’s no reasonable way to insist this is a farm business expense.

Next bonus scene is Zach and Matt talking about his neck brace and Zach inviting Matt to Amy’s party for her birthday. Zach makes a similar joke to one I make with my dad – my dad likes to do the “oh how old are you? In AARP yet?” To which I always retort that “hahaha I am still 31 years younger than you!”

I’m a little worried about Spirit so it’s awkward to be totally jovial here.

Anyway.

So, at the horrible double wide, Matt lays out the housing plan to take care of Jer and Auj and provide them a home without them needing to work and of course Jer is on board. Matt notes that Jer isn’t smart enough to disagree with him. Matt wants to build a separate house for Jer and Auj. Matt of course notes how *Amy* is the problem. Jeremy really wants the big house so he tells Matt he’s not sure if Amy wants to move. Jer is all “But even tho I whine incessantly how I want to live on the farm, I want to be in charge and make the decision and get to live away until I decide because I am a little boy who wants his way!”

Amy and blonde friend who’s name I missed discuss the motorcycle date with Chris and how Amy is going out with her man Chris. Amy haybales how being divorced is awesome.

Meanwhile back at the Zach house, Zach is all “I love coaching kids” and Tory is all “I love teaching kids” and in the haybale they are so hiding the pregnancy…. Zach thinks Tory will be the authoritative parent.

Matt describes how he sometimes needs the neck brace and also how cool he is about living on the same property with the ex. Amy is all “wtf?” and “I knew it” over the whole compound plan. Matt mentions the “Jer and Auj want to pitch you out” plan. Amy is like “I’m not stupid” and that’s nice to hear because I do worry she’ll let the mom thing override the good sense.

Back to the tension. Amy nails it with how Matt wants to move in to the big house with Jer and Auj and I totally don’t believe Jer and Auj know that part of Matt’s plan. Matt puts on an awesome puss face of disappointment as Amy disses the whole compound plan and notes how it’s designed to drive her out.

Jer and Zach discuss the compound plan. Zach has no interest, and Jer has things to do in bend so he has no real interest in returning to the farm NOW.

Amy is going on a second date with Chris so she’s making him a pie. Is Chris… Chris the ex producer? I am just curious. Amy meanwhile wants to know where the cameras are looking and wants to see the camera feeds. Matt denies and denies that the cameras are to spy and Matt immediately asks what she is up to? Amy wants them gone and Matt is all “You’re being a bitch because you’re dating! So lets break them all!”  

Amy is cool with that.

Zach and Matt discuss the farm and Matt notes how he’s been making a humongous contribution and he’s super proud of Zach and about fucking time you said that, Matt. Now if you could let Jeremy know  you’re not providing him a free home?

Matt wants the kids of Zach to swim in the pond and stuff. It’s nice to see Matt acknowledge Zach even though I worry it’s for the cameras.

Amy is off to her date. She’s wearing a fancy dress. Chris shows up, looking slick and nice. They’re off to Portland for a fancier date. Amy continues to marvel how she’s never considered dating an average height man. Chris wants more travel dates. Amy seems smitten and Chris is surprisingly sweet and open with her. He seems like a nice guy. I also note how nice it is that Chris had no kids so that’s not an issue.

Amy and Chris have a campfire on camera. There’s talk of stars and they SMOOCH! J It’s quite chaste but sweet and nice and now I want to smoosh them together.

Back at Zach and Tory’s place, Tory nervously hides her baby bump as she plots how to tell him about the obvious baby. Zach is flabbergasted that she’s knocked up and I kinda remember why I used to like this show. They’re very sweet together. Tory nicely sums up the dwarf baby issues with “we know it will happen and it’s ok”

They tell the grandparents on both sides with gifts to surprise them. Amy seems to react with “are you *shitting me*? Which I love as that is so my mom’s reaction. All the grandparents freak! Tory’s mom is all OMG! HUG HUG HUG! Matt weeps as does Tory Dad and it’s all so sweet.  Tory’s parents are so nervous on the haybale but sweet.

Now we’re never selling the farm because you know, kids. Matt now desperately wants the compound and Amy is now considering maybe leaving but everyone is delighted to be grandparents.


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Episode Review written By Podge/Rodge Groupie

REVIEW OF LIFE’S ABOUT TO CHANGE

The Tarnished Couple drive up to the house. Amy claims she is surprised. Yeah, right. Not knowing they were coming. Whatever. Planning a birthday party for Amy with just the kids, except Molly and Jacob. Amy and Zach were doing pre-Pumpkin season inventory in the garage. Does anyone else notice that Zach is helping at the farm one helluva lot ore than the mighty Jer wants to be? Because if he wanted to be, he wouldn’t be living in Bend. Just saying. This scene sure makes the next scene a little awkward. Where did Auj disappear to? Doesn’t she get to go into the kitchen with Jer, seeing as they JUST got there? And I apologize for seeing a scene from a different angle, that stupid trebuchet is still there.

Zach and Matt. Zach flashed a look at the camera on the way into Matt’s office. I didn’t know they made BBQ sauce. He invites Matt to the small just-the-kids birthday party for Amy. Hey, why don’t WE get to see the party? Huh?

This week’s episode starts in Matt’s office. Uh, Matt, you’ve got your plan and/or scheme backwards again. The FIRST step is to apply for a Development Permit from the County for the new buildings. What the heck is the point of running it past the family, then finding out you can’t build what you want where you want? D’uh. I’m pretty sure by now the county is really tired of your crap, Matt. And Jeremy, much as your dad would like to think, the first step is not to convince you, you greedy pigheaded jerk. And enough with the ‘interesting dynamic’ BS. Please please come up with something else. Unawesome Jer outlines his overall schedule, but I’m wondering about the “Want a couple of years to NOT be on the farm”. Why? Might have to do some work? Learn something? Perish the thought.

Lisa (I called her Liz) shows up at Amy’s house. I guess there wouldn’t be much of a show if Amy talked to herself. Or haybaled and voice-over’d everything. Amy finally feels good about Amy. It’s nice to live without a boat anchor. Zach and Tori sit at home and have a leading conversation about kids, and how much they like them, and who is better with them, like this was taped before they knew. Yeah, right.

Matt describes for the first time to Amy his ‘plan’. This goes as predicted. One thing that Matt said in passing – when he’s describing the compounds, because of course the not-so-golden Couple get the big house (??) he tells Amy “You can have your own situation on YOUR tax lot.” What does that mean? Your tax lot. He speaks of ‘tax lots’. He didn’t say squat to Amy about subdividing anything. And, of course, in Matt’s condescending way speaks about Amy, “We need to go through every step. She doesn’t see the same thing I do.” As Amy said, she’s not stupid. Your schtick is getting so old, Matt.

Zach and Jer discuss ‘the plan’ at Zach’s house, probably because his living room is big enough for the crew. By the way, what is the timing of this? Not-so-awesome Jer said HE was driving back to Bend today. So, is he in Hillsboro by himself? Or does he not bother to mention Auj anymore? Jer mentioned earlier that he and Auj have a lot of work to finish in Bend. WHAT work, exactly? What is so important there that it cannot be done on the farm? Like online stuff? Hmmmmmmm? Zach and Tori are a no-go to move to the farm. At least they realize that everybody needs more time than succumbing to Matt ramming this idea down everybody’ throat? The best line of the episode is when Jer mentions that if he doesn’t train he next generation as in his two eldest, his whole legacy could fail. Uh, legacy? What legacy? Matt certainly does have a high opinion of his ‘extraordinary life’. Yeah, right.

Amy and Matt fight about the cameras. Matt tries to blow the whole thing out of proportion to make Amy look stupid. By the way, he sure did stumble and stutter through his explanation just like he did explaining ‘the plan’ to Amy. And to not-so-awesome Jer. Weird.

Matt has a moment out by the castle deciding on upgrades for the farm. Zach arrives on cue. Zach has helped lots on the farm this year. Not the Tarnished Boy. Zach. Matt heaps kudos on Zach. They reminisce about the past.

Amy and Chris go on a date. Amy, CLOSE THE DOOR? Everything goes swimmingly. Is that the usual campfire site? I thought it was out closer to the gazebo.

Tori sets up a camera to catch Zach’s reaction to the news. Zach misses it completely. Yawns. D’uh. It took awhile. He grabs her butt. The haybale showed how Zach is still a bit of a perfectionist. He wants to study and know everything, or as much as he can anyway. He used to overthink going on a date when he was younger. They were surprised it happened so soon. Zach, “Like, did we do things right?” Uh, Zach, it’s pretty simple. You just go without condoms like the ones Auj asked for in the sea can ‘bunker’. They have a party. Zach sums up his mom, “Yeah, she reacts by screaming obscenities.” Matt tried to make it all about himself by bursting into tears. No Tori, it’s not cute. It’s ridiculous. The Pattons seem genuine.

Matt tries to use the news to convince Amy about ‘the plan’. What the heck is up with the treehouse? That’s what we have to look at right now. That was a bit out of the blue. Amy rightly does not give and predictions about the future, because ti’s not here yet, and there has to be a question or two for season nausea, 12 I guess. And as in the finale of season six, they’re sitting in a mule, riding off into the sunset, with an unsure future and endless possibilities. Yeah, right.

20 comments:

Podge/Rodge groupie said...

Hi Spirit! Hope all is well.

Good review Rap! I totally missed the bit about Matt really wanting to move back into the big house. i'm not sure how 'they' would feel about it, but it would certainly be an interesting 'dynamic' lol! I guess Jer can offer the benefit of all his wisdom and counsel Matt on how not to screw up a marriage, and Matt can teach Jer and Auj's kids how to drink pout and micro-manage.

Realistically, I wonder exactly what agreement exists about either party selling off their holdings representing 50% of the whole. If either can veto the private sale to another party, if either must be given right of first refusal, then hang on and dawdle and draw it out so the sale doesn't really happen, etc. Does anyone think Matt would put up his 1/2 in order to buy out Amy? My idea for an ultimate cheat sheet would be for Spoiled Lazy Jeremy James Jesus to finally step up, quit asking something for nothing, and approach Amy to buy her 50%. It would be so much fun to watch Jeremy learn that every bank ho goes to won't even give him the steam off their piss. I know that won't happen, because the Brass Boy (he's come down a notch) will go to his grave with his stupid asinine childish immature exclusive arrogant conceited sense of entitlement. Oh well. No one can take away my dreams.

I also hope that Amy will finally stand up and say "No" to tall this nonsense of Matt's. This can't be made clear to us for at ;east, what, two seasons? They need something!

Carlie Lunsford said...

Jeremy and Audrey officially QUIT Tlc's Little People Big World because they don't like how their image is being portrayed on screen!!!!


Don't believe me - just wait. They are QUITTING.

PJ said...

Matt seens to be trying to dislodge Amy from them farm. And I'd bet he will try to not pay her a penny.
Any one else notice the lack of chemistry betwen Jer and Tawdry?

eye roller said...

Welcome backmRap541 and Rodge/Podge!!! Thanks for the recaps, soooo on point! First of all, congrats to Tori and Zach, for whatever Zach seems to lack on the quick wit department, Tori will more than make up for it. She seems so smart, loving and down to earth, she'll be a great mama.

Omg Rap, do you think Chris was a former TLC producer?! It does explain how quickly things seem to be moving romantically, and I wouldn't put it past reality show tactics.

Jeremy really is insufferable at this point, stop saying "dynamic" it doesn't disguise your childish, man boy ways. This kid really believes his own bullshit, with his monolouge about courting vs.dating and realtionships can go really fast, not good, or really slow, not good. This 26 year old man boy who has been married for 15 minutes in front of a camera on a tv show (literally) is pontificating to his 50 year old mother? Who even talks about realtionships and marriage to other people as much as Jeremy and Audrey do, if I were Zach I'd tell them to find a new subject, it's boring and very one note.

My greatest wish for this show is that Chris moves in and Amy shacks up with her cutely dressed hottie, and they lot's of great sex. I LOVED what Chris wore on the dinner date, perfect. Jeremy and Audrey would be reeling at the thought, I mean where would they live now if Amy is having sex under their bequeathed roof. Expect their next conversation to be about how they don't want to expose their unborn red headed curly haired tribe to Amy and Chris fornicating under their noses!

Hey guys, Audrey's floppy hat comes in black too, it can be yours for a mere 100 bucks!

Legacy, compound, dynamic, gnarly, so down, generations=creepy show about trivial everyday boring crap !!!

Sacred Ground said...

Cover your ears Jeremy and Aujoj: Amy and Chris sitting in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then , oh no, there goes Jeremy and Audrey having to move to another house that they will to have to pay a mortgage on! Welcome to the real world folks, you don't boot your mother out of her house because you want it. BUY YOUR OWN HOME, or pay to build on a lot.

Jeremy wants "a couple of years off the farm before he dies on it " oooookay, haven't you already spent a couple of years in Bend? And he says he needs to stay in Bend until "we finish up some work in Bend", ooookay, by work you mean blogging monthly, posing as either students or counselors of marriage, I'm still confused as to how they presents themselves in terms of resume or experience when they are CONSTANTLY espousing marital advice/ suggestions, and travelling to a random treehouse for "ideas"?

Was anyone left confused and going " wuh?" when Aujpoj and Goldilocks filmed themselves folicking in a treehouse, I thought how can I make a living doing dumb shit like these two aimless, jobless reality stars? I guess I got into the wrong profession when I got into teaching, mental note, next life: blog about B and Bs, while selling overpriced tshirts that literally make no sense, and film myself scowling while talking about my parents love lives and moving into their home behind their back on camera, that's pure nasty and pathetic.

Debbie said...

Carlie, it's appropriate that "lie" is in your user name. Why do people insist on lying about Jeremy and Audrey??

Anonymous said...

Lying, as in calling them for what they reveal themselves to BE, Debbie?

Man, they've got you hook, line and sinker.

Pumpkin Salsa said...

Did anyone catch how Jeremy is starting to sound like he's talking to and for the cameras, like he's trying to keep the audience tuned in and to keep watching next season?! Case in point, Jobless Jer and Auj and part time soccer coach Zach share a weekday lunch surrounded by dozens of toy tonka trucks in the sand, I know I'm confused too, and I watched the thing, but stay with me, he goes on to say that " year three of marriage is about new beginnings, and by beginnings that means the end of other stuff" I mean who talks like that, like he is speaking this weird reality tv language, even Zach has to laugh and say " so philosophical, Tori and I are just chillin". Amidst their laughter, he solemly asks you don't think this is going to be a big year?" Big year, by this you mean a job, a new house, kids, what?

Matt needs to stop undermining Amy to Jerermy and Zach with all the don't tell your mom shtick. It's disrespectful, and I don't see Jeremy hold Matt accountable, instead it's like this is how Matt and Jeremey bond, mom doesn't understand our vision.

Why is Audrey and Jeremy still expecting Matt and Amy to renew their vows, weren't they in Hawaii with Matt when he asked her mid meal if she called her lawyer to speed up the divorce paperwork. They don't love each other anymore, it's even fair to say they barely like each other as evidenced in every episode. Audrey and Jeremy should not give marital advice or counsel if they think these two should get back together, there is definitely an ulterior motive there in hoping two people with nothing in common except adult children get back together.

Anonymous said...

Do the Roloffs pay your bills? Any semi intelligent person can see that these people have pimped the intimate aspects of their lives to millions of strangers for cash, what does christianity have anything to do with a stupid, meaningless, fake ass show?

Act like sycophants if you want Jer and Auj fan clubbers, but they don't give a shit about you if you're not contributing to their revenue, bottom line. Practice your religion in your actions in real life, to even bring religion into a recap of a reality show seems blasphemous and sacriligous. It's disrespectful to religion to involve it when commenting on fake, contrived people doing rehearsed and pre planned lines and scenes so they can receive a check and buy cars, trips, clothes and cool toys for themselves instead of an education, a home or to charity.

Those people screaming "christians are persecuted" sound like people in movies dressed in black and bonnets, handing put leaflets in the street screaming that judgement day is approaching, ye all must repent, as their veins bulge from their necks.

Rap541 said...

Jeremy and Audrey officially QUIT Tlc's Little People Big World because they don't like how their image is being portrayed on screen!!!!

Sure, I am totally open to this if true, but when will the big boy and wife stand up like grown up adults and say so?

I mean, I tire of hearing how TLC owns them... if they're quitting over how silly and shallow they've been made to appear, why aren't they proudly shouting to the world?

Debbie, really, you're an amatuer

Melissa Ingalls said...

Ok, Rap, so happy you're back. I've been addicted to your reviews since last season. I think I mentioned once before that I met Amy in person a few years ago, and she was so kind to me. She asked all these questions about my life and she was just a gracious pro dealing with her fans. I loved her! I was so glad to hear that she was finally divorcing Matt, and this new guy seems great for her. I just want her to have a great life without Matt's toxicity.
The line that nobody has mentioned, that struck me as hilariously telling of this man, was when Matt said "you know before I just would've built it (the new house) without asking anybody, but after the divorce, I have to run it by Amy." That just illustrates his total disregard for Amy and the lack of respect for anyone, especially your wife. Since he's an off the chart narcissist, everyone is merely an appendage to him. Nobody is a person with any thoughts and feelings. And Amy is handling him masterfully. I love it!

Benzie Harp said...

I had a good laugh-out-loud moment when ManBun said he and ClownFace have "work" to finish up in Bend. Hahahaha. Work. Okay.

And the only true life moments on this canned-acting script-fest seemed to be Amy's uncontrolled giggling over her new relationship. I've never used the word "charming" in realtion to this clan, but that truly was.

Audrey's condoms said...


If I was the producer for this show I would suggest to Matt he start bringing women to the double wide and for nights on the town, Amy and Chris live together in the big house and have lots of passionate lovemaking while upstairs Jeremy and Audrey, still jobless but blogging and selling tank tops, live in the attic with their brood of curly haired cherubs above Chris and Amy. Jeremy and Audrey will hold weekly Navigator Council meetings with locals from pumpkinland in teepees and no portapotties, and council every couple that the antidote to wanting a divorce , is to remain together no matter how much they make your skin crawl " 'cause if it's broke, ya fix it!"

Jeremy is so thick without any idea of what to do next expect down some beers with his buds,, he's going along with Audrey's ideas of cornering the marriage market, although they have never studied psychology, lived with a partner until 24 months ago, what qualifies them to advise or council anybody responsibly and intelligently?!!
It's the only thing they have going in their lives; it's the cool new thing that they have jumped into, which seems to me the immature way of embarking on a career.

They are uninformed and too inexperienced and UNDERQUALIFIED to present themselves as marriage , what's the word, even they don't or can't define it the public because they know they are RIDICULOUS! WHAT IS YOUR RESUME, Jeremy and Audrey to accept speaking engagements and "author books" on marriage and dole out advice and commentary to people when all you've done is be married for a hot minute with no children, full time jobs, no financial pressures or real life adversity yet. You two need to each eat a giant slice of humble pie!

Jeremy's dynamic said...

This show is tacky and low budget. The Roloffs will argue they are not actors, well then why are all of you so bad at acting. You can even see Tori or Amy cringe at times when they can't beleive they find themselves sitting at a table in front of a camera for no reason but to eat a grilled cheese sandwich with your 30 year old sons (why not at work, men?) to talk about your dating life, this is soooo for the cameras, if it wasn't , that convo would have been already had, period. Why put that akwar, personal shit on t.v. , so freakish and cheap.

Matt needs to go on some auditions, this cat is a frustrated extra on a low budget movie. He probably rolls around naked in his TLC show cash, he is such a pimp/ringleader of this low budget circus.
This show is tired, ridiculous,, stupid, pointless and as terrible as Kate plus 8 and The Duggars Boring Clan that do nothing but breed rolled into one.

Chris, please marry Amy and never that leave that property. Then you can charge Jeremy and Audrey rent to live there like most normal parents do who have kids that do grown up stuff but can't pay for it and expect mommy and daddy to take care of it.

Anonymous said...

I know what Zach and tori do for living, and Jeremy is a freelance photographer and a blogger, but Jacob? They seems to hangout on the beach a lot.

Stacy Peach said...

Jeremy is a "freelance photographer"? Really? I think he bombed at that years ago.
And a blogger? Yeah, okay. My nephew is a blogger too. He's 10. Glad he's considered employed. I guess his parents better look into Form 1040-Jr.

Mike P. said...

Jacob reads. He does it for his own information and education. Not much different than if he—just turned 20—were enrolled in college.

I have no problem with that.

Rap541 said...

Stacy, you have some fair points.

Jeremy's photography is clearly a hobby at this point. Golifeorbust.com is still under construction. Jeremy's print shop is still offline.

And beating50percent.com has not obtained any advertisers other than datebox, which is a friend of the kids... Oh and the kiddies now haven't actually posted in 30 days....

Has anyone here signed up for Audrey's devotionals? Bought Audrey's clothes? Pre-ordered a "Navigator's Council" notebook?

Don't get me wrong - Jeremy and Audrey are clearly making their living off playing wifey and hubby on the reality show... but here's the question.

If there was no show, could Jeremy as a man pay his own bills on what he makes as a blogger/photographer? Could he and Audrey live the lifestyle they live on her barre3 instructing and sales from her clothing line?

I know a bunch of Christians are gonna start crying how hateful this is so I remind you all of John Mark Comer's remarks. John Mark Comer believes a man should support his family as the breadwinner.

Who here thinks, without the show, that Jeremy could support himself, let alone Audrey?

Point - Zach isn't exactly impressive but if the show went away, at least Tory has a job and they have the investment of the house being fully paid for and can afford the child they are having. Can Jeremy and Audrey do the same?

Anonymous said...

Of course they couldn't.

And the blogging stopped after some critiques about them stealing the idea for Navigators Council from 'A Severe Mercy', particularly questioning if they are paying royalties to the author's estate. Hmm...

Lpbw fan said...

They seem to still be peddling the pre-sale on Instagram... either they don't care, it's not an issue, or TLC fixed the problem for them?