Written by Rap541
New finale that is so about the pending baby! The first bonus scene reveals that Jeremy had returned to the farm for this episode to celebrate Amy’s birthday and to judge her for dating, but more importantly, to celebrate their MARRIAGE. I especially adore how Jeremy expects his mom to make breakfast for him. And to you know, provide him a free place to stay when he so openly judges her.
Not sure if it’s a bonus scene but Matt basically describes his potential new house as part of the farm and as something that Amy would be required to chip in for as it is a farm expense. And there lies the problem, since there’s no reasonable way to insist this is a farm business expense.
Next bonus scene is Zach and Matt talking about his neck brace and Zach inviting Matt to Amy’s party for her birthday. Zach makes a similar joke to one I make with my dad – my dad likes to do the “oh how old are you? In AARP yet?” To which I always retort that “hahaha I am still 31 years younger than you!”
I’m a little worried about Spirit so it’s awkward to be totally jovial here.
So, at the horrible double wide, Matt lays out the housing plan to take care of Jer and Auj and provide them a home without them needing to work and of course Jer is on board. Matt notes that Jer isn’t smart enough to disagree with him. Matt wants to build a separate house for Jer and Auj. Matt of course notes how *Amy* is the problem. Jeremy really wants the big house so he tells Matt he’s not sure if Amy wants to move. Jer is all “But even tho I whine incessantly how I want to live on the farm, I want to be in charge and make the decision and get to live away until I decide because I am a little boy who wants his way!”
Amy and blonde friend who’s name I missed discuss the motorcycle date with Chris and how Amy is going out with her man Chris. Amy haybales how being divorced is awesome.
Meanwhile back at the Zach house, Zach is all “I love coaching kids” and Tory is all “I love teaching kids” and in the haybale they are so hiding the pregnancy…. Zach thinks Tory will be the authoritative parent.
Matt describes how he sometimes needs the neck brace and also how cool he is about living on the same property with the ex. Amy is all “wtf?” and “I knew it” over the whole compound plan. Matt mentions the “Jer and Auj want to pitch you out” plan. Amy is like “I’m not stupid” and that’s nice to hear because I do worry she’ll let the mom thing override the good sense.
Back to the tension. Amy nails it with how Matt wants to move in to the big house with Jer and Auj and I totally don’t believe Jer and Auj know that part of Matt’s plan. Matt puts on an awesome puss face of disappointment as Amy disses the whole compound plan and notes how it’s designed to drive her out.
Jer and Zach discuss the compound plan. Zach has no interest, and Jer has things to do in bend so he has no real interest in returning to the farm NOW.
Amy is going on a second date with Chris so she’s making him a pie. Is Chris… Chris the ex producer? I am just curious. Amy meanwhile wants to know where the cameras are looking and wants to see the camera feeds. Matt denies and denies that the cameras are to spy and Matt immediately asks what she is up to? Amy wants them gone and Matt is all “You’re being a bitch because you’re dating! So lets break them all!”
Amy is cool with that.
Zach and Matt discuss the farm and Matt notes how he’s been making a humongous contribution and he’s super proud of Zach and about fucking time you said that, Matt. Now if you could let Jeremy know you’re not providing him a free home?
Matt wants the kids of Zach to swim in the pond and stuff. It’s nice to see Matt acknowledge Zach even though I worry it’s for the cameras.
Amy is off to her date. She’s wearing a fancy dress. Chris shows up, looking slick and nice. They’re off to Portland for a fancier date. Amy continues to marvel how she’s never considered dating an average height man. Chris wants more travel dates. Amy seems smitten and Chris is surprisingly sweet and open with her. He seems like a nice guy. I also note how nice it is that Chris had no kids so that’s not an issue.
Amy and Chris have a campfire on camera. There’s talk of stars and they SMOOCH! J It’s quite chaste but sweet and nice and now I want to smoosh them together.
Back at Zach and Tory’s place, Tory nervously hides her baby bump as she plots how to tell him about the obvious baby. Zach is flabbergasted that she’s knocked up and I kinda remember why I used to like this show. They’re very sweet together. Tory nicely sums up the dwarf baby issues with “we know it will happen and it’s ok”
They tell the grandparents on both sides with gifts to surprise them. Amy seems to react with “are you *shitting me*? Which I love as that is so my mom’s reaction. All the grandparents freak! Tory’s mom is all OMG! HUG HUG HUG! Matt weeps as does Tory Dad and it’s all so sweet. Tory’s parents are so nervous on the haybale but sweet.
Now we’re never selling the farm because you know, kids. Matt now desperately wants the compound and Amy is now considering maybe leaving but everyone is delighted to be grandparents.
Episode Review written By Podge/Rodge Groupie
REVIEW OF LIFE’S ABOUT TO CHANGE
The Tarnished Couple drive up to the house. Amy claims she is surprised. Yeah, right. Not knowing they were coming. Whatever. Planning a birthday party for Amy with just the kids, except Molly and Jacob. Amy and Zach were doing pre-Pumpkin season inventory in the garage. Does anyone else notice that Zach is helping at the farm one helluva lot ore than the mighty Jer wants to be? Because if he wanted to be, he wouldn’t be living in Bend. Just saying. This scene sure makes the next scene a little awkward. Where did Auj disappear to? Doesn’t she get to go into the kitchen with Jer, seeing as they JUST got there? And I apologize for seeing a scene from a different angle, that stupid trebuchet is still there.
Zach and Matt. Zach flashed a look at the camera on the way into Matt’s office. I didn’t know they made BBQ sauce. He invites Matt to the small just-the-kids birthday party for Amy. Hey, why don’t WE get to see the party? Huh?
This week’s episode starts in Matt’s office. Uh, Matt, you’ve got your plan and/or scheme backwards again. The FIRST step is to apply for a Development Permit from the County for the new buildings. What the heck is the point of running it past the family, then finding out you can’t build what you want where you want? D’uh. I’m pretty sure by now the county is really tired of your crap, Matt. And Jeremy, much as your dad would like to think, the first step is not to convince you, you greedy pigheaded jerk. And enough with the ‘interesting dynamic’ BS. Please please come up with something else. Unawesome Jer outlines his overall schedule, but I’m wondering about the “Want a couple of years to NOT be on the farm”. Why? Might have to do some work? Learn something? Perish the thought.
Lisa (I called her Liz) shows up at Amy’s house. I guess there wouldn’t be much of a show if Amy talked to herself. Or haybaled and voice-over’d everything. Amy finally feels good about Amy. It’s nice to live without a boat anchor. Zach and Tori sit at home and have a leading conversation about kids, and how much they like them, and who is better with them, like this was taped before they knew. Yeah, right.
Matt describes for the first time to Amy his ‘plan’. This goes as predicted. One thing that Matt said in passing – when he’s describing the compounds, because of course the not-so-golden Couple get the big house (??) he tells Amy “You can have your own situation on YOUR tax lot.” What does that mean? Your tax lot. He speaks of ‘tax lots’. He didn’t say squat to Amy about subdividing anything. And, of course, in Matt’s condescending way speaks about Amy, “We need to go through every step. She doesn’t see the same thing I do.” As Amy said, she’s not stupid. Your schtick is getting so old, Matt.
Zach and Jer discuss ‘the plan’ at Zach’s house, probably because his living room is big enough for the crew. By the way, what is the timing of this? Not-so-awesome Jer said HE was driving back to Bend today. So, is he in Hillsboro by himself? Or does he not bother to mention Auj anymore? Jer mentioned earlier that he and Auj have a lot of work to finish in Bend. WHAT work, exactly? What is so important there that it cannot be done on the farm? Like online stuff? Hmmmmmmm? Zach and Tori are a no-go to move to the farm. At least they realize that everybody needs more time than succumbing to Matt ramming this idea down everybody’ throat? The best line of the episode is when Jer mentions that if he doesn’t train he next generation as in his two eldest, his whole legacy could fail. Uh, legacy? What legacy? Matt certainly does have a high opinion of his ‘extraordinary life’. Yeah, right.
Amy and Matt fight about the cameras. Matt tries to blow the whole thing out of proportion to make Amy look stupid. By the way, he sure did stumble and stutter through his explanation just like he did explaining ‘the plan’ to Amy. And to not-so-awesome Jer. Weird.
Matt has a moment out by the castle deciding on upgrades for the farm. Zach arrives on cue. Zach has helped lots on the farm this year. Not the Tarnished Boy. Zach. Matt heaps kudos on Zach. They reminisce about the past.
Amy and Chris go on a date. Amy, CLOSE THE DOOR? Everything goes swimmingly. Is that the usual campfire site? I thought it was out closer to the gazebo.
Tori sets up a camera to catch Zach’s reaction to the news. Zach misses it completely. Yawns. D’uh. It took awhile. He grabs her butt. The haybale showed how Zach is still a bit of a perfectionist. He wants to study and know everything, or as much as he can anyway. He used to overthink going on a date when he was younger. They were surprised it happened so soon. Zach, “Like, did we do things right?” Uh, Zach, it’s pretty simple. You just go without condoms like the ones Auj asked for in the sea can ‘bunker’. They have a party. Zach sums up his mom, “Yeah, she reacts by screaming obscenities.” Matt tried to make it all about himself by bursting into tears. No Tori, it’s not cute. It’s ridiculous. The Pattons seem genuine.
Matt tries to use the news to convince Amy about ‘the plan’. What the heck is up with the treehouse? That’s what we have to look at right now. That was a bit out of the blue. Amy rightly does not give and predictions about the future, because ti’s not here yet, and there has to be a question or two for season nausea, 12 I guess. And as in the finale of season six, they’re sitting in a mule, riding off into the sunset, with an unsure future and endless possibilities. Yeah, right.