Sunday, April 15, 2018

New Episode of Little People, Big World April 16th, 2018

Here is a recap of the episode of Little People, Big World which aired on TLC April 16th, 2018.

Recap written by Rap541

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And we’re here for another episode. I didn’t notice previously but the music has changed a bit. We start at Auj and Jer’s house, aka “The Money Pit”. It’s two weeks until Audrey gives birth so we’re skipping over the summer. The house they bought in mid May appears to be completely torn up still in mid August. The sink is working. Jeremy voices over how he’s doing it himself. Auj lets us know how she’s pregnant and now there’s constant misery and this isn’t going to be finished in time for “Baby”. Honestly, I dislike this conceit on a show I like (Call the Midwife if anyone cares) where instead of referring to the baby by name, they call it “Baby” as the name. Even I, a monster who dislikes babies, call the baby in Auj’s belly by a name – “Peculiar Dynamic”. Any way Jer asks Auj what she *needs* to have completed in the house. She wants the stove working and yeah… I think we all know that didn’t happen for hmmm four months. She’d like electricity in the kitchen, boxes unpacked, a liveable house basically. As they discuss it, we see that the house really is totally torn apart. Jeremy notes it will take a week. Auj openly doubts his timeline, as do I. (and spoiler, even with Auj two weeks late, no, this house wasn’t done).

Now we are with Amy and her crowd of female buddies at the big house. They discuss how she’s dating Chris still. Amy rehashes how Chris went to Father’s Day with Zach. While I appreciate Amy taking pains, she’s babying the family along on this. Amy also went to Michigan to see her folks and took Chris but missed Auj’s baby shower that Auj’s sister threw. I assume this was different than the shower Auj’s religious friends threw in Bend and now Amy is planning shower number three for Auj because she feels guilty and likely because the show needs a storyline. Still, multiple showers is very tacky. Amy notes how she is trying to balance things. The ladies hang out in the pool and discuss Amy’s plans for Chris’s birthday. One of the ladies asks about Caryn and the music takes on a serious tone! Amy thinks its different for Chris in that Chris is brand new while Caryn was Matt’s employee and sidepiece during their marriage so Amy is uncomfortable with Caryn turning up at family events. This is reasonable and explains why she also isn’t inviting Chris to a lot of events.

Now Zach is going on about his first trip away from his new family because everything is an event to these people. Zach is playing soccer in the World Dwarf Games and can’t wait to take Jack since playing soccer is so very important. Jackson seems like a nice baby. Tory plans on making Jackson isn’t dressed like a rag bag like Zach was as a child. It’s all so sweet and saccharine. I catch diabetes. 


Now Matt at the pirate ship. He goes on again about the old pirate ship and the new pirate ship and the ship still isn’t done and he’s got a month and a half to work on it. Amy wanders in to check on the progress. Amy muses on how awkward it is in a voice over. She then mentions the baby shower for Auj even though the baby is coming in two weeks and worries Auj might not be cool with it. Amy pointedly offers to allow Caryn to attend to Matt. She mentions it hurts but she is being an adult. 


Back to the money pit! Auj whines that the nursery isn’t perfectly set up yet. Amy shows up to talk about the shower and I notice that the kitchen stove is charmingly decorating the front yard. I bet the neighbors love that! Jeremy ordered the wrong oven for the kitchen and cheerfully notes he has NO IDEA how that happened. Auj seems less than enthused about the shower. Amy notes how small it is. Auj is all “you and Matt can invite your lovers” while Jeremy intones how not cool they really are over it. Auj also humorously notes that she could have the baby that very day! This is hilarious when you know she is theoretically 38 weeks here and had the baby at week 41 and a half. 


Tori bonds with Jackson. Zach calls from the games in Canada and voices over how he misses the family and feels like dirt for not being with the family. Tori then does baby stuff and expresses her worry that she’s not safe without Zach.


Back on the farm, Matt is on his mechanical penis. Matt haybales how Jer and Zach haven’t been working on the farm and dumping it all on him. Caryn drives in and they chat. We get a little montage of Caryn in years past. Matt tells her about the shower with Auj. Caryn has plans with her daughter so problem mostly solved but she does seem pleased that Amy invited her. 


Back at Tory’s, Auj has come to visit lonely Tory. Auj is in her teeny tiny shorts that appear to be underpants. There’s a stroller ride and then there’s poo jokes and diapers and honestly, I start to fantasize about Dan Steven’s firm buttocks on Legion. I come out of my fantasy to hear the two continue to prattle on about labor and delivery. 


Back to the farm! Tory brings the baby over to Matt to watch the soccer match on livestreaming. Apparently, there was a party that Jer and Auj and Amy and Caryn were all invited to at Matt’s and they all bailed. So Tory and various people with dwarf kids show up at Matt’s. 


Amy does a lengthy voiceover on how awkward it is to show up at Matt’s place. It reminds her of the dark times of the divorce. She does show though. Matt notes he doesn’t have any problem, it’s all on Amy. By the way, the double wide is certainly big enough for a bunch of people to have a party. Amy heads back to the big house to have a party for Chris with Chris’s friends and a few of hers. I think she’s trying too hard but that’s me. There’s a lengthy and dull “the party is fun and we’re happy”. Amy does note that her friends were never Matt’s friends and Matt’s friends were never hers and this is different but still. I genuinely don’t care that much about Chris and Amy’s relationship. 


Matt is at his computer in the work barn and Caryn wanders in. Caryn isn’t doing the shower apparently. Matt and Caryn sorta haybale together how Caryn wants this to be natural etc. Matt wisely notes how blending families can be tricky. Funny how we get no plots revolving around Matt meeting Caryn’s family or joining family events with Caryn…


Back at Zach and Tory’s, Zach loves being a dad and being home.


At Jer and Auj’s house, the backyard looks like a junk yard and Jer is building stuff. By building stuff, I mean different scenes with different products in a state of half finish. Hilariously Jer goes over a list of things he’s “finished” while Auj notes on every completed task that he’s left x, y and Z undone. Jeremy responds with “acknowledge that a lot has been done”. Auj notes that the dishwasher still needs to be fixed which spoiler – it never gets fixed resulting in ALL of the remodeling needing to be torn out months later because the leakage led to a mold issue. Way to accomplish things Jeremy! You are just a SHINING CONTRACTER and everyone needs to acknowledge the lovely yet completely crappy and incompetent work you did! Meanwhile in the haybale, Auj just keeps harping on how Jeremy’s completely unfinished as Jeremy brags how done he is. He’s actually a bit pissy with her. Interesting.

They then have a lengthy discussion of blow out diapers and I begin to fantasize about Dan Stevens as Matthew Crawley in his morning coat…. I come back to the kiddies still babbling about the baby. Did Zach and Tory do this much handwringing over how they felt about their lives being disrupted by the baby?


It’s the shower day. Apparently, no one at Chez Matt Roloff bothered to rsvp for Caryn. Chris apparently was like “No, I don’t like baby showers, I’m a man”. Everyone piles in. This doesn’t appear to be just ten people. Amy has no idea why Caryn didn’t show. They continue to talk about the baby and Auj keeps mentioning how the baby is dropping and how she feels the baby is dropping and the baby is dropping. There’s presents, including a jogging stroller. It all so treacly sweet, I start having to choose between Dan Stevens as David Haller and Dan Stevens as Matthew Crawley to not vomit. 


Next week, Auj is still pregnant and Jeremy is still constantly frowning! Also, Caryn starts demanding Matt’s attention while Amy continues living life. 


37 comments:

Audrey's Condoms said...

The only justice to the injustice of this bland, vapid, no talent bunch of everyday underachievers is this recap! How many more times are Matt and Amy going to talk about living 50 feet away and divorced, it's dumb to do if it's an issue you.

Jeremy unemotionally telling Audrey to acknowledge that he screwed in a lightbulb while the house has no electricity or the kitchen is non existent is adolescent and annoying. Notice how he is always dangling a token screwdriver in a scene while not actually using it. And who is helping
hernia-Jericurl remodel the home and replace his stove in two weeks... himself?!? Why does he keep saying he can fix the house in two weeks if they've already been there for two months? Shouldn't it have been ready eight weeks ago according to Jeremy's estimated projection?

I will happily watch if Audrey continues to call out Jeremy on his lies and embellishments and he unemotionally corrects her and reminds her whose show she is on.

Pumpkin Salsa, Eww said...

Jer the Idiot asks Audrey what *she* needs done in the house!?

How does she not blow a gasket in that moment and sarcastically shout "I want electricity and walls you weirdo!"

If it wasn't for Audrey's constant mother-like prodding, Jeremy would happily be sleeping on an inflatable mattress in his buddy's attic or on a houseboat in some kind of communal frat boy rental which would be paid for by TLC under a billion year contract or until a kid comes out of it.

Ecossais said...

Thanks for another great review RAP.
You caught the stupidity of the show perfectly.

The question of Jeremy being a competent home handyman is a joke.
I remember how he couldn't assemble the windmill even armed with an instruction book and pre-cut/drilled parts.

Theresa Lopez said...

Dear Spiriitwanderer,

I really love reading your reviews, I looked forward to the Roloff's new season only in the hope that you would return with your funny and keen observations. Thank you for the laughs!

Tawdry Problems said...

Hands down best part of the episode was the philosofarmer Jer jogging like an a$$ with the stroller through the yard during the shower. I was laughing out loud. Were it not for the recap, I would not watch this show. Honestly, they owe you some royalties.

Milk Drunk Baby said...

Audrey talks about her baby dropping, feeling the baby dropping, the baby kicking. Audrey had taken some kind of vow this seadon to not to utter a syllable outside of baby contractions and furniture, literally. There is literally nothing interesting, notable or dramatic that happens to these people.

And no, pregnancy is not interesting or dramatic to anyone except for the parents and grandparents.

I'm really curious about what Audrey was referring to regarding her concern about juggling "work" with caring for the baby. Does she think it will be difficult to instagram while breastfeeding?

Ann said...

RAP great review. Is this true about the mold, I hate for anyone to have water leaking issues in their home, but this happening due to Jeremy’s incompetent arrogance it hilarious. Auj is really getting a boot full of what she married. I wonder how long it will take and how many water leaks until she is just completely fed up. Not that I side with Auj, but she just seems the type that wants to be completely taken care of. She does not seem to want to ever have to take care of herself and if Jeremy can’t do it, she will find someone who will. And Jeremy and Zach are just boys doing whatever to make mommy I mean their wives happy.

Sacred Ground said...

Anyone else wondering why Jer and Aujpoj chose to live with her parents and brother and sister instead of with Amy who lives all by herself in that 10,000 square foot home? Wouldn't it make more sense seeing as how he would be on the farm to help his mom and dad with farm stuff and he is a farmer and they love the farm? And why did they end up living with Audrey's family for 3 months if Jeremy claimed it would only take a couple of weeks to fix the house?

TLC needs to stop editing out all the workers they've hired to fix Jeremy's home. There is no way he is getting all that stuff done by himself with just a screwdriver and a pencil!

PJ said...

Apparently Jacob no longer follows Tawdry on Instagram. Could he be tired of the constant commercials?

Eye Roller said...

A synopsis for the episode as written by TLC is listed on their website as the following:

"Jeremy and Audrey are overwhelmed their due date is two weeks away." The two would feel overwhelmed if UPS arrived early.

"Zach shows Tori how much she means to him." Zach makes her sandwich and claims he cooked.

"Matt and Caryn go to the beach."This is just a lack of respect for viewers.

"Amy and Chris take the plunge!" Dont' jump, Jeremy!! It's TLC's lame joke for skydiving.

Cinder-Ella Roloff said...

love the last line of this recap:

Next week's episode: Audrey still pregnant... and Jeremy making lists and yet accomplishing nothing, Zach befuddled by the diaper thingy and Tori teaching Zach how to use the diaper thingy, Matt and Karen, a middle aged couple, go the beach, and Amy and Chris jump out of plane (why?!) just because they literally have nothing better to do with all their free time which is literally every minute of every day.

Santa Barbara Girlfriend said...

Does anyone notice how Jeremy is always looking at the producers off camera and into the camera instead of the person he is in the scene with? His remarks and his eyes go to the camera crew, and he gives them more of his energy than to whomever he is inter"acting" with on camera .

Anonymous said...

Tori feels safer with Zach at home???? wtf ...IF there is a break in at their house ...take a guess who will be hiding behind who....

Eileen said...

Has anyone ever counted how many times Auj uses "like" in a sentence? These two are so self-absorbed...it is pathetic.

Audrey No-Botti said...

Watching Audrey and Jeremy describe the contents of their baby bag is worse than watching paint dry. These people are freakin high if they expect anyone to care about the most mundane minutia of their ordinary existence.

Hannah said...

I read recently that Jacob and his "fiancee" are now living with Amy...since Jacob and Audrey do not get along, I assume that is whether did not move in with Amy while their house is being "renovated".

Agree with all the posters that remarked about Jeremy's fake fixer upper skills...he's no Chip Gaines, by a long shot. He doesn't have clue what he's doing That house is a mess and I would not trust his electrical skills nor any of his other skills when it comes to remodeling a home. Why would they buy a house that needed that much work when they are expecting a baby any week now. Again, Amy and Matt built up Golden Boy so much, he thinks he's capable of doing anything! Surprised money bags Matt didn't offer to to hire a legit contractor for them so the work could be done professionally. But I guess he was too busy building a stupid fake ship that is a parent's nightmare...that thing looks incredibly dangerous and hazardous for young children.

This romance between Matt/Caryn/Amy/Chris is just too cringeworthy to watch. Still trying to figure out what confirmed 50 something Chris sees in Amy besides future $$$...same for Caryn.

Samantha Catalano said...

It like, takes soooo much work to stay on #christianmommy blog brand. /s

Jeremy-curl said...

Don't understand Karen's attraction to Matt. She has to literally beg him to take her on a date, he's more obsesssed with the farm than with her, or anything else for that matter. He is an invalid that cannot do anything for himself except the basic tasks, and does not romance or woo her in any way. His behavior at parties is either bored, annoyed or just sits there expecting to be served the food and entertainment. Amy definitely upgraded with Chris.

Sara said...

Jeremy-curl, if he’s that selfish in day to day stuff, can you imagine how selfish he is in bed?

PDXie said...

Surprised money bags Matt didn't offer to to hire a legit contractor for them so the work could be done professionally.

HAHAHAHAHA...he's waiting on/expecting TLC to pick up the tab, just like they did for the Duggar house, and nearly all of Matt's "projects" since the LPBW show began. Why spend your own money when you can spend someone else's??

Always More Condoms said...

The laziest unemployed couple Jeremy and Audrey are going to Maui all while renovating their half a million dollar aluminum sided money pit mansion.

Please write a book or blog how you make money to afford a 500,000 house, a complete home renovation, and a new baby in 6 months and never have to leave the house!

Dude, like dude said...

Jeremy is such a vapid, pompous loser. He needs constant affirmation for basic things like putting the seat down and washing the dishes because he resents the loss of an unrequited lifestyle of success, freedom and attention.

Ecossais said...

If Jeremy looks any more dead there will be an autopsy.

Audrey's condoms said...

Rap, where are you? I NEED your recaps!!!

Dlewny said...

Sara, that was too funny. However Ms. Aubs looks like a hot number and I’m sure doesn’t mind doing more then 50/50 or whatever their motto is this week.

Theresa Lopez said...

DEAR RAP- I HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU! MISS READING YOUR TAKE ON RECENT EPISODES. COME BACK SOON!

Anonymous said...

-Embers birth
So when Amy took the bike vacation with Chris, wanted to be kept informed on her travels, I don't blame her for going. BUT what I noticed was when Ember was born, no family seemed to be there and Amy got a call that afternoon that baby was born, was Amy being punished?

Sarah said...

Rap, I’ve followed the Roloff’s since I was 13 and was at one point obsessed with Jeremy. I have followed one of his friends from Santa Barbara and she has a podcast. I’m like 99.99999999 percent sure she just posted a podcast about Jeremy. SHES THE SANTA SANTA BARBARA GIRL HE CHEATED ON ODDREY WITH AND WROTE THE BLOG POST ABOUT. I can’t beleibe I followed her and never knew !

Jodie said...

No comment on the fact that Jeremy’s lover from Santa Barbara came out with a podcast entailing all the juicy details of their affair during his engagement to Audrey? And she’s coming out with a part two! Intouch already did an article about it. The life of Janae podcast titled “The Girl From Santa Barbara”. Give it a listen. She so cleverly nicknames him “J” *rolls eyes*

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Rekane 97 said...

Is this blog finished? No new updates?

Literata said...

I'm a fan of the fact that Jacob and Audrey don't get along. He seems like a fairly intellectual guy -- he's well-read and articulate, anyway -- and I'd love to hear the two of them go at it. I don't think he'd have trouble taking Audrey down a notch.

MrsAllanWatts said...

Hey, are you going to update the blog? I am really intrigued by something Amy said to Matt when he was considering running for state senate. She said something like "Remember, if you run for office, your past is gonna come up." I AM SO CURIOUS! Did she just mean his relationship with Caryn? (Did he and Caryn start their affair before the divorce?)

Makte said...

I really like Chris, but Caryn not so much. Just a personal opinion.

Federico Plata said...

I think Amy was referring to Matt's DUI conviction several years ago which was dealt with on the show. Cant remember which season it was